I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fourteenth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much - even though I disagree with the outcome. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it.
The Story: This was the story about a couple of Aliens who created the Earth. And observed us over the millions of years it existed - until we ended up destroying themselves.
Where Your Location Is: Of course the Earth was the location for this story. But wherever the Aliens were observing us is the real main location for this story.
Your Main Character: Aerathun and Guthri are the two, and only, main characters in this story. They are in it from beginning to end.
How They Spoke to Me: The dialogue used in this story story looked very good. At least it did to me.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I disagree with this story. I know Aliens didn't create the Humans on Earth. If it was reversed it would better to the truth.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished reading it.
The Story: I'm not exactly sure what this story was about. But it sounds like it's about a man on his way to meet a woman after the end of the world.
Where Your Location Is: The location for this story wasn't very clear either. But once again it sounds like it's the streets of a city. What city that was is unknown.
Your Main Character: Of course the main character of this story is the man. Personally, I would have given him a name. I try to do that with all of my characters - especially the main ones. It makes the character more real, I think, if they have a name. But that's just how I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was only that one line of dialogue. But it looked good. At least it did to me.
Any Last Thoughts: The double spacing was a little distracting to me. I think it would have been better single space within paragraphs and double spaced between paragraphs. I'm not sure if it's a grammar rule or not, I don't think it is, but I think it's easier to read if it's single then double spaced.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it – even though I really don’t like vampire stories that much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about a future vampire. In a world that is in the middle of chaos. Did the vampires start it? Or are they just taking advance of it?
Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is unknown. But from the sound of it’s in a big city of some kind.
Your Main Character: Zian is the main character in this story. There are other vampires in this story. But Zian is the one who is hunting them.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are a few Researchers who might. And at least one Researcher who considers this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I don’t think you should say it’s a ‘working title.’ I always come up with a title. And usually I keep that same title. But every so often I change my mind. When I do I change the title.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I was finished with it.
The Story: The is a story about a super hero in the making. It all started with with a visit to the rainforest. Where she got bit by a buttlefly.
Where Your Location Is: I’m not sure where the main location for this story takes place. When she was in the rainforest that was a setting. But most of this story is about what happened to her after her visit to the rainforest.
Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in this story. But who that person is unknown. Personally, I would have given her a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just how I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are a few Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer that considers this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: The numbers were a little distracting. But not at much as the line spacing between paragraphs. Personally, I would have separate the paragraphs by a space. I’m not sure if it’s a grammar rule or not. But even if it isn’t I think a story is a lot easier to read if there is space between paragraphs.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your thirteenth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I like it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop reading it until I finished it.
The Story: At first I thought this story was about time travel story. But then at the end it looked more like a loop story.
Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is supposed to be Mount Rushmore. Then it switches to the Great Wall of China. And then back to Mount Rushmore where the loop began.
Your Main Character: Dale is the main character in this story. In fact, Dale is the only one this this story,
How They Spoke to Me: There is not dialogue in this Story. So I can comment on that. But there are a few Reviewers who might. And at least one who considers this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you can made a mistake with Past Tense vs Present Tense. It looks like in the first few paragraphs you used Present Tense. Then you switched to Past Tense. You might want to check into that.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I like it a lot. It kept my interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: The is a story about the study into Particles. Personally, I don’t try to get to technical in my stories. I write stories to be read. And for most readers, especially the non-writing ones, technology can turn them off of a story. If they don’t understand it they will not read it – or stop reading it.
Where Your Location Is: It appears to be a lab of some kind. But where that lab is at is unknown.
Your Main Character: Claudia is the main character in this story. She is in it from beginning to end. But John and the others are also involved in this story too.
How They Spoke to Me: There was quite a bit of dialogue in this story. And what dialogue there was looked good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separate the paragraphs by a space. I’m not sure if it’s a Grammar Rule or not. But even if it isn’t I think it makes a story easier to read if it is.
I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about a man, at least it sounds like it’s a man, who returns to his mansion at the end of a busy day as a doctor. But in the end the truth comes out.
Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the mansion. But it also looks like a palace too.
Your Main Character: Whoever the man is he is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given him a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially my main ones. It makes the character feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was only that one line of dialogue. But that’s one line looked good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a pretty good job with this story. I’m a little curious about who the last owners were? And why did they leave?
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading this Short Story. And I like it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about an Earth future that has been created after a plague destroyed our planet. A plague that was still a threat today. One that would end up killing them all in the end.
Where Your Location Is: Linceul is the location for this story. Which used to be call the Earth. I agree that Earth will have many names in the future before it eventually dies. But Linceul isn’t one of them.
Your Main Character: Jessica Patton is the main character in this story. She is in it from beginning to it. But her best friend Sarah is also a big part of this story. In fact, I think she is the main one because of what happens to her in the end.
How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But what there was looked good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: Who is Kyra in this story. At first I thought you made a mistake. And it was Jessica. But after reading it a couple more times I am thinking that it’s Sarah.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eleventh year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This story was about what happened to the population to a planet when Humans from Earth try to improve it. It would have been better if the Humans from Earth had just taken over the planet.
Where Your Location Is: The planet of Allefureine, Allfureine title wise, it the location for this story. It was a peaceful planet before the Humans from Earth got involved.
Your Main Character: I would say that there is no main character in this story. If I had to I would say that it’s the planet of Allefureine itself.
How They Spoke to Me: There isn’t any dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one that would consider this telling not showing.
Any Last Thoughts: I’m not sure what to say here. That’s because I think you did a very good job with this story. Good Job.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I like it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This was a story about a boy named Alex. Who loved technology. He also loved video games too. But he loved technology more. In fact, he loved it so much he created a device so that he could have the best of both worlds
Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where the location is at in this story. But it sounds like it’s coming from a house. Or because of the subject matter it could be a lab of some kind. Maybe both.
Your Main Character: Alex is the main character in this story. So is his twin sister Sarah. But who is Lily? Is she their mother? Or is she a Researcher? I do like that you gave your characters names though.
How They Spoke to Me: The dialogue in this story looked pretty good. At least it did to me.
Any Last Thoughts: You might want to check out you Past Tense vs Present Tense. It looks like you mixed them up some.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your third year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about a visitation from an Alien. But it wasn’t an Alien. It was a Human. Only it wasn’t from another planet. He, at least Amy thinks it’s a he, is from the future.
Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is a bedroom. Where this bedroom is at is unknown.
Your Main Character: Amy is the main character in this story. Or is it the so-called Alien. It could be either one – or both. I think it’s both.
How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. And what dialogue there was looked good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a very good job with this story. Was this for a contest? The reason why I ask is because it looks like it might be one.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your tenth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This story was about the future on Earth when the Government had control who lived and who did. And as it is pretty much today it’s the weak and the poor who end up dead.
Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure what the location is for this story – except for it being Earth in 2055. Where on Earth it is at is unknown.
Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the one who is the main character. Personally, I would have given your main character a name. Even if they are just thinking out loud I think they feel more real if they have a name.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on it. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one who would consider this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: I know about limitations when it comes to Word Counts. I’ve doing a lot of Daily Flash Fiction Challenge lately for the last couple of months. But even with limited Word Counts you can put in a little dialogue or a sentence or two if you’re thinking.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This was a story about a mission in Prague. The mission hadn’t been mentioned yet. But it probably will be. After all, this is only part one. And it did end in a continuation.
Where Your Location Is: The location was a hotel room – in Prague. Memphis mentioned New York City. And he might go there in future parts.
Your Main Character: Memphis is the main character in this story. Is it a made up name like his boss Henry?
How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. And what dialogue there was looked good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have spaced between paragraphs. I don’t know if it’s a grammar rule or not, but I think a story is easier to read if it is spaced – especially with the dialogue.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Good Job.
The Story: This is a story about the destruction of a, our, moon. And the effect it has on Earth for one individual. At least I think it’s about Earth. I’m sure it is. Ninety-nine percent of the stories written are about, or related to Earth in some way, Earth.
Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure what the location for this story is. I know it’s about ‘Earth.’ But I’m not sure where on the planet it is. Persoanlly, I try to give all my stories at least one location. It depends on my Word Count Limit as how detailed those locations are. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little, if not a lot, more.
Your Main Character: Shanna was the main, only, character in this story. I liked that you gave her a name. Most writers of Short Stories don’t. It makes the character feel more real, I think, if they have a name. That’s what I try to do with all my stories – especially my main character or characters. But that’s just how I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story – if it was dialogue. But what there was looked good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: The only mistake you might have made was with your dialogue. If Shanna was talking to herself or outloud then the dialogue in this story is okay. But if she is thinking it or it’s a thought then it should be single quotation marks instead of doubles. According to at least one host/judge that’s the way it should be.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it. But I didn’t really understand it though. Was this one big long though – separated into several paragrahs? I have done that myself. Or was it a narrative of somekind?
The Story: This is a story about a man who not alive. But he’s also not dead either. He’s in between. At least I think it was a man.
Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where the location is for this story. It could be in someone’s head. Or it could be a physical place. Personally, I try to give my stories at least one location. Depending on the Word Count Limit it might just be a location title. Maybe a little description of it for short WCLs. But a little bit more detail for longer ones. But that’s just how I write.
Your Main Character: The main character in this story is whoever he or she is doing the talking, thinking etc. Personally, I would have given this male or female a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main one. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have names. But once again that just how I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this Short Story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one who considers this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I think that you should separate your paragraphs by a space. I’m not sure it’s a grammar rule or not. But even if it isn’t it just makes the story easier to read, I think, if the paragraphs are spaced. Also you may want to check out your ‘tense’ grammar. It looks like you might have mixed them up some.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I like it. Personally, I wouldn’t have said that at a beginning. Even if you don’t think of yourself as a writer, and from what I read I disagree, and only did wrote it as some school assignment you shouldn’t put yourself down. At least I don’t think you should.
The Story: If I may reading this story correctly this story is about a man who is about to watch sports on his telly. When something, that looks like a UFO, lands near his house.
Where Your Location Is: It sound to me it’s a house or an apartment overlooking land below. Isn’t that where the UFO landed?
Your Main Character: The man in this story is the main character. Personally, I would have given him a name. And made it Third Person instead of First Person – at I thinks that’s what it is. I try to give all of my character’s a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel, I think, more real if they have a name. But that’s just how I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There isn’t any dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one who considers this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have spaced between paragraphs. I’m not sure if it’s a grammar rule or not. But even if it isn’t I think it’s easier to read a story if it is.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me reading it from beginning to end. Once I got started I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This story is about a rain storm that is about to hit a city. There is a lot of worry about this storm. But in the end it still happened.
Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is a city. Where this city is at is unknown. Personally I would have given a name to this city. But that’s just how I write.
Your Main Character: I would have to say the storm itself was the main character in this story. It was the only one that was in it from beginning to end. Personally I would have created at least one character. And given them a name. I think it moves a story along better, and faster, if there is a character – or characters. But once again that’s just how I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this Short Story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one who would consider this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: How is this Science Fiction, and even fantasy. I might consider it Dark maybe. But I didn’t really see any of the other two it. Does that come out in the following chapters? Because of the first word this sounds a lot like the beginning a Novel. But it’s catagorized as a short story.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your third year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I Just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. But it was a little bit hard for me to read though – especially the ending.
The Story: This is the story about a man named Mr. Haynes. Who is first having trouble getting up in the morning. And then by a boy who knocked on his door.
Where Your Location Is: The house that Mr. Haynes lives in is the only location in this story. Where this house is at is unknown.
Your Main Character: I’m glad that you gave your main character a name. But you didn’t give one to the little boy. Personally, I would have given one to the boy too. Even if Mr. Haynes didn’t know his name. It still should have been given somehow I think. I think it makes the character feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just how I think - and how I write.
How They Spoke to Me: At first I didn’t think there was going to be any dialogue in this story. That’s a no-no to most Reviewers. And with at least one of them it’s consider showing not telling.
Any Last Thoughts: The only mistake I think you made is with spacing – both between sentences and paragraphs. Personally, I would have separated this one paragraph into several – especially with the dialogue parts. I’m not sure it’s a grammar rule or not. But even if it isn’t it just make it easier to read if you do separate. Also that last sentence didn‘t make any sense to me.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I have just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it. But I couldn’t understand it too much. I understood the words and the meaning. Just not the overall connection.
The Story: This is a story about the creation of the Universe. It’s the old chicken vs. egg, who came first, question. But in this case it’s the Universe vs man.
Where Your Location Is: It’s hard to say what the setting is for this story. But my best quess is it’s the Universe.
Your Main Character: There are no characters in this story. Personally, I have at least one character in my story. And I give that character, or characters, names. I think it’s make them feel more real if they have a name. But that’s just how I write.
How They Spoke to Me: I can’t comment on your dialogue because you didn’t have any in this story. That doesn’t bother me. But it might some Reviewers. And there is at least one Reviewer that would consider this telling and no showing.
Any Last Thoughts: You might have an idea here. Did you expand on it? I know how you feel when it comes to Word Count limits. I have been involved with the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge for the last couple of months. Which is a lot easier to do compared to yours.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I like it a lot. But I was a little bit confused by it too.
The Story: This is a story about a mother of thirteen children. And if I understand the story correctly she clones herself in order to help her take care of those children. Then she worries who the the true clone will be in the end. Am I right?
Where Your Location Is: From the fisrt paragraph I would say that the location for this story is a residence of somekind. But the dialogue that follows could involve a hospital or doctors office of somewhere.
Your Main Character: The mother is the main character in this story. But I would say the thirteen children are too. Even the clone might be one.
How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. And dialogue there is looked pretty good to me. Personally, I don't like to do one line sentences. It doesn't matter whether it's dialogue or not. But that's just me.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you have a good idea here. Did you ever expand on it?
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifteenth years with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I like it a lot. It kept me interested from being to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about the birth of a constellation. The birth after the very first constellation - that the Earth created.
Where Your Location Is: Space is the location for this story. Both the Earth and the constellation is part of Space.
Your Main Character: There was no characters in this story. It was more like an essay than a short story to me.
How They Spoke to Me: What dialogue? There wasn't any dialogue in this story. So I can't comment on that. But there are some Reviwers who might. And there is at least one Reviewer who consider this story telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: At first I thought you were talking about the birth of the Universe. And I know that isn't true - especially that Earth created it. But I re-read you story several times. Now I realize you were trying to say it was the birth of Earth's first constellation.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifteenth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your short story. And I liked it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about vampires. Personally, I don't think that vampire stories are consider Science Fiction. But most people do.
Where Your Location Is: I'm not sure what the location is in this story. I know it's hard to describe a setting with a very short story like this one. But I try to give each one of my stories a location. It may only be a name. And it depends on the Word Count Limit as too how long, or short, my description is.
Your Main Character: There are two main characters in this story. But their names was never given. Personally, I think you should have given these people names. I try to give all of my characters a name - especially the main ones. It makes the character, I think, feel more real if they have a name.
How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue used in this story. And what I read looked pretty good to me. Personally, I don't do one sentences in my stories Whether it's dialogue or not doesn't matter. There has to be at least two per paragraph - unless it's a dialogue contest like Dialogue 500. But that's just me.
Any Last Thoughts: I think this review is longer than you story. But as for the story I think you did a good job with it.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished reading it.
The Story: This story is about a man who didn't like going to a Post Office. At least he didn't until robots were used. But that all changed when the one he was writing letters to went eletronic.
Where Your Location Is: The Post Office is the main location for this story. But the apartment where the man who used to hate them is also a setting too.
Your Main Character: Of course, the man who used to hate going to the Post Office is the main chaaracter. Personally, I would have given him a name. I try to do that with all of my characters - especially the main ones. It makes the character feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that's just how I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There really wasn't any dialogue in this story. So I can't comment on that. But there are a few Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling instead of showing. There was one thought in this story. Personally, I think this is dialogue too.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you made a mistake with your thought. According to a recent review I got, from a Contest Judge - I think, you aren't suppose to used double quotation marks for thoughts. It should be single ones.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eleventh year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop reading it until I finished it.
The Story: This story is about a female named Jessica who is about to get a skin graph. At least I think that's what it's about.
Where Your Location Is: The doctor's office was the first location. But there was where Jessica lived was also a setting too.
Your Main Character: Jessica was the main character in this story. But Mathis is also a character in this story. Personally, I would have given the doctor a name too. I try to do that with all of my characters. It makes them more real, I think, if they have names. But that's just the way i write. I do like that you gave names to Jessica and Mathis.
How They Spoke to Me: There was only one line of dialogue in this story. And it looked good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you have written several other Short Stories. And I was wondering if it would be okay if I reviewed them as well. The reason why I ask is because last month I reviewed someone several times - and they considered me stalking them for awhile.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I am a little confused by it. It looks like you wrote the same story twice. The only difference between the two is that the first one had some dialogue in it.
The Story: This the story about a boy named Nate. Who was considered a sissy because he plays baseball with a girl's team. And the game they play against another bullies girl's team. A game they lost.
Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the baseball field where the baseball game took place. At least I think that's the only location in this story.
Your Main Character: Nate is the main character. But the girls on his baseball team are also a big part of the story. So are the bully girls too.
How They Spoke to Me: There was some dialogue in the first part of this story. And that dialogue looked good to me. But there wasn't any dialogue in the second part - even though it was the same story done twice.
Any Last Thoughts: Was there a reason why you wrote the same story twice? Especially the same story - minus the dialogue in the second part.
I liked your story. But I didn't understand it. Keep on writing.
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