I really enjoyed reading your conversation only story. It has a good beginning, middle and end. I loved the twist at the end of the story. You have encouraged me to try writing one of these stories myself.
I didn't see any obvious grammatical errors or misspellings.
I really enjoyed reading your ramblings. I am well past the age of sixteen, and I still wonder about some of those very same things. It is fun to know that others are thinking those things too. You write very well, and your thoughts are quite coherent. I was glad to see there were no grammatical errors or misspellings of words.
I saw your poem featured in a newsletter. Congratulations. This is a really fun kind of poem to me. I liked the way you used the words in the prompt. Very effective.
in a in a glance, - I think you meant 'in a glance' - got an extra 'in a' in there.
Interesting story. I enjoyed reading it, and I personally think that all will live 'happily ever after.' That is mostly because I like stories with happy endings, even though that is not what I usually write.
My brethren, if you don't - should be 'brother'. Brethren is plural, and she is only talking to one other.
His eyes pointed straight at Vivianca. - I think you should change 'pointed' to 'looked'. I am not sure one can point with eyes. Your call though.
This is why Ryan could not be rid of me, could get no help. Not even from the exorcist?" - I don't think you need a "?" after 'exorcist'. You are making a statement.
I really enjoyed your poem about winter. Being a southern California beach girl, it is something with which I have no experience. Maybe someday I will see it up close and personal. You have given me a small glimpse of the beauty that is there.
A few things that should be corrected:
Snow delicate, drifting, - There should be a comma after 'snow'
in winter, the time, - no comma needed after 'time'
I saw your poem featured in the Spiritual Newsletter. Congratulations. This is a really neat poem about resolutions, keeping them and letting them go. I really enjoyed the free-flow form of your poem and the way you constructed your lines. Great job.
Welcome to writing.com. I hope you are enjoying yourself here. I found you listed in a newbie forum.
This is an interesting little piece of free-writing. I think it could use some work, but it looks like it was good practice for you. There are a number of typos and/or misspellings which need to be corrected. I think you have a lot of potential, you just need more practice.
Welcome to the writing.com community. I hope you are enjoying yourself here. I was really impressed by your short story. You have done an excellent job with it. It has a strong beginning, middle and end. It also has a great message.
I saw you listed in the "newbie in the spotlight forum." Congratulations on your win there. I hope you are enjoying your time at writing.com.
This is a nice little poem with a good positive sentiment for an ending. I enjoyed reading it. I disagree with you that all are guilty of never stopping. But as the writer of your poem you have the right to that thought.
I saw no grammatical errors or misspellings to distract from the reading.
Hi, Baset, I enjoyred reading your little poem on the night. I like the way you did your pantoum, taking some liberties with it and not exactly copying the necessary lines. I think that makes it much more interesting.
Congratulations on winning Best Poem, even though it has been a long time ago. I loved reading your poem, I loved how you became re-inspired by dreams forgotten on a hot August day. You have re-inspired me with your poem, and I thank you.
I can find nothing to complain about in your poem. No grammatical errors, no misspellings to distract one from the reading. I like the style of the poem and the way it ebbs and flows.
I found your poem in a "noticing newbies' forum. I really enjoyed reading it. Spring is such a beautiful time, and you have captured how people feel about spring more than any other season. Spring is so filled with promises of new life,
Congratulations on your first place winning in the "Newbie Only Poetry Contest." I really enjoyed your poem about spring. It has a nice rhythm and flow, and really brings a bit of spring to the reader. Enjoy your time here at writing.com.
I saw your poem listed in the "Noticing Newbies Newsletter." Congrats. I enjoyed your poem about a sweet and loyal pet waiting patiently for his human to return home from work. I am a cat person myself, but I totally understand the bond we have with our pets.
I found it a bit distracting that you didn't use any punctuation in your piece, but I suppose that is acceptable for a poem.
I saw your little story liter in the 'Noticing Newbie Newsletter.' Congrats on that. This is a great little piece. Only one BIG piece of advice. If you get arrested for doing your crazy Aunt in tell the cops the journal is mine. LOL. That was a great twist at the end. Keep up the good work.
Best Wishes on all of your writing this year. Cynaemon
I saw your 'Dear Me' letter listed in the Newbie's newsletter. You have set an interesting goal for yourself this year, and I am sure you will accomplish it. One way to begin is by following the excellent advice in the newsletter. Set goals, find someone to be accountable to, etc.
Your story sounds very interesting, and I am sure many will be looking forward to reading it when it is finished.
What a beautiful, but sad poem. I loved the last verse wherein even the homeless celebrate to keep faith and hope alive. You have really captured the essence of homelessness and the feeling that many veterans have nowadays. It is a sad comment on our society that these men and women are in such dire straits. I too am a veteran, fortunately not homeless, but I feel for all of those who are. I have a home, but barely get along as it is. Sometimes the only thing I can give my fellow human is a smile, and I hope they can see the love behind it. Perhaps sometimes that is enough.
I really enjoyed your poem and found myself wondering for whom it was written. I am assuming you are writing to your mother. Why do so many of us have such a problem with the one that we should love above all others? For the one that gave us life? I understand your sentiment very well. I wrote a poem to my mother also, 'To My Mother, whom I have hated.'
And excellent job expressing something so personal.
I really enjoyed your little poem about writer's block. I am sure we have all been there. It was great the way you described the words as snowflakes. I also liked your 'rug of vellum.' What great images for the message you convey.
I found no grammatical or spelling errors to distract the reader. Keep up the good work.
This is so romantic, and so sad. I am sorry that you lost your first love, but it sounds like you both did all the right things to ensure your happiness. And so you have lots of lovely memories. It is so true that we should always say 'I love you.' Saying those words on a daily basis makes our love more concrete.
I saw your poem listed in the Romance Newsletter. Congratulations on your award icon. This is a nice little poem. I assume you have been in Tokyo, and have someone there that means a lot to you I like the simplicity of this and the way it leaves the reader wishing their lover was close by also. I think it describes desire very well.
I enjoyed reading your poem about fishermen. I think you have done a great job of capturing their feelings about fog. An interesting subject, and one which I would have never written about. Your poem made me smile though,
You have also done a goo job with the triquatrain form. I am going to have to try this form myself.
Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
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