I loved your poem. It is probably one of the best I have read on WdC. I loved the way you expressed not only who you are, but what you became. You have done an excellent job of expressing what many of us, as Christians, feel. We are not perfect in our many faceted contradictions of life, but we are free.
I see you have not been on WdC for a while. I hope you are still writing. I am going to keep this one in my favorites folder.
I enjoyed reading your cute little poem about how to write the perfect poem. I know what you mean. I love to write poetry. In fact, there are times that it just flows out of me and onto the page. I think you have expressed how many of us feel about writing.
I have seen you around WdC for years, but I have never actually visited your portfolio. It was fun reading about you and your story Quorilax. It is amazing how a character, thought, idea, can take over our minds and possess them until we write whatever we need to in order to be able to continue with our lives, even though we know we will be forever changed.
I am glad I took the time to get to know you a little better.
I read your lovely poem about the dolphin, and also "The Tattoo." You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself, and I enjoyed reading your poetry very much. I am putting your portfolio in my favorites section so I can hopefully come back and read some more. But there are so many things to read here on wdc. Keep on writing, and thanks for sharing. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
This is a nice little poem with a rather sad sentiment. I think you have done a good job with it. It has a nice rhythm and flow, and only a few grammatical errors which are easily fixed.
do you hear me? - need a period after 'called.'
A break from the night so long - 'a break from long night' - would flow better
Still my ears listen out - this is an awkward line, I am not sure that 'listen out' makes sense
This is a nice little poem about a dreamcatcher. I like it except for the ending. The last line doesn't seem to belong with the rest of the poem to me. I am not sure how you could change it though. The rest of the poem seems, well, dreamy, and then the last line doesn't. I am not sure how else to explain it.
Other than that, I found no grammatical or other errors to detract from your work.
This is a very interesting little story. It seems like something one would right if they were stoned out of their head. It does have a good ending though. And I am happy to see that, as disjointed as the story is, it does have the saving grace of not containing any grammatical errors.
Congratulations on being featured in the Spiritual Newsletter. This is a beautiful and well-written poem, with a lovely sentiment. It has a nice rhythm and flow. I found no grammatical errors to detract from the reading.
Congratulations on being featured in the Spiritual Newsletter. And congrats for being here thirteen years. I think I have been here twelve myself. How time flies. I really enjoyed reading your poem. This is an interesting form. I will have to try it sometime.
I enjoyed reading your poem. The kyrielle form is not one with which I was familiar. It seems you have done a good job with the form and format for this type of poetry. I wondered if it was in anyway related to a kyrie, but I couldn't find any reference that it was.
This is an interesting little poem about abuse. I find it very interesting how many ways people right about this subject. I have a poem in my portfolio about abuse also, simply title 'Abused.' You have done a good job with your subject matter, and your poem has a nice rhythm and flow.
Sometimes punctuation can be confusing. There are a number of places in your poem where it needs to be corrected.
inside. - questing mark, not a period
happiness. - either a comma or a question mark, not a period
and keep - 'to'
Do you have a memory? - no question mark here,
From whence you draw your strengths, - it should be here instead
Congratulations on being featured in the Poetry Newsletter. I really enjoyed your wonderful love poem. It reminded me of several I have written myself. (Not a bad thing, I hope. :))
I am keeping this in my favorites so I can re-read it again. I found no errors of any kind to detract from the work. Thanks for sharing it with the world.
Congratulations on being featured in the Poetry Newsletter.
I loved your poem about Old Winds. I love the images you invoke with your words, and the sentiments behind those words. I especially liked the way you use the word 'old' at the beginning of each verse. I am keeping this one in my favorites.
This is a lovely poem you have written for your grandmother. I am sorry for your loss. My own grandmother passed away in 1996, and I still miss her so much. I have written poems for her also: 'She Gave Me the Song,' and 'Periwinkle Innocent'. But on with this review.
You have done an excellent job with this poetry form. It is not an easy one in which to write.
I really enjoyed your poem even though it has a sad sentiment.
This is an interesting little poem with a dark sentiment, but it has many grammatical errors in it.
I am not sure why you are not using apostrophes in your words. Maybe you were trying for a certain feel or something, but words such as "I'm" need to be spelled correctly.
How long do I wear these chains. - this line would end with a question mark
My first question to you would be 'Are you a native English speaker?' From your writing, I would assume that you are not. Also, I think you are young and a bit immature. Okay, there is nothing wrong with that. We all had to start somewhere, so don't take that negatively.
Second, I would say I admire your ambition, and your willingness to put yourself out there. I did enjoy reading your little stories about yourself. And I think it was a good idea to make your statement as personal as possible, so that it would reflect the real you.
So those things are the good news. The bad news is that this has SO many grammatical errors in it. Are you applying for college? If you are, I think you might have a bit of a problem. However, that is not to say you would not be accepted. You obviously have the desire to learn and to better yourself, and sometimes that is all that is required.
For example, your very first sentence is very poorly written:
When I first started working on this personal statement, I did quite some research, and by “research”, I mean Google “How to write a good personal statement”.
It should be: When I first started working on this personal statement, I did quite A LOT of research on ways to write a good personal statement. I did most of this research on Google.
I am not sure that I would even include that last sentence. If you only did research on Google, that really implies that you did not do much research at all. Did you interview other people in person who have written such statements, and who could possible give you some pointers?
You have many instances where you change tense from present to past tense and back. I would wonder if you were writing this in a word processor. And if you are, then these errors should be obvious. I know my word processor lets me know these things.
You have asked for complete honesty, so I have tried to give you that. I don't want to put you down, but I think you could do a much better job on this. It needs a LOT of work.
I am sure that you are the kind of person who will succeed in life. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
I enjoyed reading your little 100 word story. It has a strong beginning, middle and ending. I found no grammatical or other errors to detract from the work. It is written in an interesting style with just short sentences.
I enjoyed reading your little 100 word story. It has a good beginning, middle and ending. At first I wasn't sure where it was going, but I loved the way it ended. I found no grammatical or other errors to detract from the work. It is written in an interesting style with just short sentences.
This is an interesting little 100 word story. I think you did a good job of building the drama, but I was not sure if Archer was just imagining things, or if the horde was real. It has a good beginning, middle and ending. I found no grammatical or other errors to detract from the work.
I enjoyed reading your little 100 word story. It has a really nice sentiment. I like the way it shows how a sad history can be turned to happiness. There were no grammatical or other errors to detract from your work.
Maria now an old woman stood in her childhood home one last time. - you need a couple of commas in this sentence - Maria, now an old woman, stood
Love, Mom and Dad" - need a period after 'dad.'
Awoken one evening and raced out the door by her parents almost fifty years ago. - this sentence is really awkward. I know you are trying to keep it to 100 words, but I think this can be rewritten to flow better.
This is an interesting little 100 word story. I don't really see how the title goes along with the story, but maybe that is just me. It has a good beginning, middle and ending. I found no grammatical or other errors to detract from the work.
This is a really interesting little 100 word story. It has a strong beginning, middle and ending. The ending was a real surprise. I found not grammatical or other errors to detract from the reading.
Good job. Keep on writing.
Best Wishes, Cynaemon
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/noelanicat/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.26 seconds at 10:34pm on Jun 27, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
