I really enjoyed reading your story, and like the way it is a parody of 'A Christmas Carol.' You have done a good job, and this is fairly well written. However, you do have a number of grammatical errors, mostly which involve changing from the past to the present tense and back. I had this same problem when I first started writing too.
baffles Scourge. - baffled.
At last, Scourge arrives home to enjoy his solitary Christmas and his plentiful product. Christmas has just begun with clock chiming midnight, so he had a full 20 hours before his cell phone would start ringing with people asking him where he was and when they could meet him. He decides, in honor of the holiday, that he will shut his phone off for the night and the better part of next day. And then he does it – the unprecedented thing: the drug dealer shuts his phone off. - In this paragraph, either make it all present tense, or all past tense. For example - he HAS a full 20 hours, - present tense. Or - Scourge arrived home - past tense.
While he decides, - decided
was all they had say and - was all they had TO say
Anyway, I think you get the idea. I will be happy to re-rate this when you have a chance to fix it up a bit.
I really liked your little poem. You have done a good job. The poem has a good rhythm and flow, and your couplets are great. I see no grammatical errors, or typos. Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
I really enjoyed your poem about the beast. You have done an excellent job with this free from poem. This is a subject that has probably been discussed thousands of times, but you have found a way to make it new and make it your own. Good job.
I really liked your free form poem about a dream horse. You have done a very good job with this form, and I can see you have great potential. Only one small change: Time ticking bye - should be 'by.'
Other than that I see no grammatical errors or typos.
This is a nice little poem expressing your feelings about the Holy Spirit. The poem has a good rhythm and flow, and there are no grammatical errors or typos. It would be nice if you separated the two verses. I could really see this as a short song.
I really love the way you have expressed yourself and the feelings you have for your lover in this nice little poem. You have a wonderful way with words, and a future as a good writer. There are no grammatical errors, which is good, and no distracting typos.
First of all I want to say 'have confidence in yourself.' It is either a poem, or it is not. Don't guess. Stand up for yourself and say this is a poem.
And congratulations. For it really is a very nice little poem. You express yourself well. I would change the word 'pellucid' in the last line to either translucent or transparent, because pellucid is a very unusual word, and many of your readers are not going to know what it means. I can understand that you might want to use it because it sounds cool, but most people will not give something a second look if there is an aspect in it which makes them feel dumb. Just a thought.
This is an interesting little poem about a lovely flower. I feel like there is an underlying rant in your poem. Also, I think most people know an Hibiscus is a flower. You don't need to admonish your readers to "Google it."
This is an interesting and very short 'poem' about your feelings. While it is not very original, you have done a nice job of expressing how you feel on the written page. I look forward to seeing more and longer examples of your work.
This is an interesting quote, and it has probably been said a thousand times in a thousand different ways. I do like the way you have expressed the sentiment though. I hope you will enjoy being here, and hope to see you write some more and longer works.
I really enjoyed your humorous little poem about hair, or the lack thereof. The poem has a nice flow and rhythm, and there are no grammatical or typographical errors.
This is very interesting. I am not sure I can consider it a whole poem, but it is a good attempt at getting someone's attention. At least it is grammatically correct, and you have not misspelled anything.
I loved your very different Valentine poem. It has such a true sentiment. One can see a whole life and lifetime within the confines of the poem. A good ending. I see no grammatical or distracting typographical errors. Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, CYnaemon
I really enjoyed reading your humorous little cinquain about a wink gone awry. You have done a good job with the form and format of this kind of poem, and you have left the reader smiling. I see no grammatical errors or distracting typos. Keep up the good work.
This is an interesting little cinq cinquain about toys and trinkets. I enjoyed reading it. I was surprised by the dark sentiment with a subject like toys and trinkets. You have done a good job with the form and format of this kind of poem.
I enjoyed reading your American cinquains about summer. They were all interesting. My favorite was the one about the bookstore. You have done a good job following the form and format of this type of poem, and I didn't see that you broke too many rules. I also spotted not grammatical errors or typos.
What a cute little cinquain about the PDG poetry class. It made me smile, and I so enjoy reading cheerful things. You have done a good job with the form and format of this type of poem. I see no grammatical errors or typos.
I really enjoyed your poem about silence. When I first saw the title I wasn't expecting romantic. What a nice sentiment it expresses. You have done a good job with the form and format of this type of poem. I see no grammatical errors or typos.
I really liked your little cinquain about your picture. It made me laugh, and that is always a good thing. You have done a good job with the form and format of this type of poem. I see no grammatical or typographical errors. Keep up the good work.
I really liked your interesting little cinquain. It is so true that alcohol is not one's friend. You have done a great job with the form and format of the poem. There are no grammatical or typographical errors.
This is an interesting little cinquain. I hope you have found a way to get quality sleep. I love midnight myself. Good job with the form and format in this type of poem. I might consider hours as two syllables, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Keep up the good work.
I really liked your poem about Yog-Sothoth. I think you have captured the essence of this being in this short cinquain. I also like that you have followed the traditional cinquain format of 2,4,6,8 and 2 syllables in the lines. Good job.
You have written an excellent little haiku about character flaws. I think you really understand this form very well, and you have followed the traditional format very well also. I see no grammatical errors or typos.
This is a really interesting and emotional poem. I love the premise and the sentiment of it. The poem has a wonderful rhythm and flow. You express yourself very well, as always. Is this based on a true happening in your life? I have several poems like this in my portfolio also.
Just a few grammatical things that I would change:
During that time her and I - should be 'she' and I
That would never be again. - I think it should be 'will' never be again.
A most viable of option - I think it should be 'options'
Good job. Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.21 seconds at 8:41am on Jul 12, 2025 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "