An interesting attempt at a haiku. It is nice, but I don't really think it is a haiku, just three phrases with the correct number of syllables. However, I really liked the sentiment behind your attempt. Keep practicing. I am sure you will get the hang of it. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
I really loved your little poem. It works on many levels, and says so much about all of us. On the first level, I can see "you" as a snow sculpture, icy and hidden. But I can see the deeper "you" in the poem. I love the way you describe chipping away the ice to reveal a warm "you" inside. Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
Congratulations on being featured in the Newbie Newsletter. This sounds like it was an interesting challenge. Really liked your poem, and the way it left the reader wondering whether the being discovered in the light was good or bad. Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
Congratulations on being featured in the Newbie Newsletter. This is a nice poem. I think your husband must be obsessed with butterflies. I like the many different things the butterfly is compared too. Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
Congratulations on being featured in the Newbie Newsletter. This is a very nice poem you have written about your lover. It has a nice rhythm and flow to it. I see no grammatical or spelling errors. Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
This is a great little poem. I can imagine that I wrote it while at work. I think you are probably speaking to many people with it. It has a nice flow and rhythm. No grammatical errors. Keep up the good work. Best wishes, Cynaemon
LOL. Very mindless and very fun little poem about a pig. Or should I say swine? This swine took part of my time, and my mind, leaving me swineless, or mindless, as the case may be. Thanks for a fun read.
Congratulations on being featured in this week's Spiritual Newsletter. This is a lovely peace, and so true. Beethoven was deaf, and still he wrote some of the most beautiful music the world has ever known. Music can move us and soothe us in so many ways. I am a hearing musician, but when I play I close my eyes and go into a whole other space where my soul is truly transported.
I love the way your character is transformed by the music he feels.
Only one small change:
or swooned in time in a magical and mysterious connection that no one - I think it should be "to" a magical.
This is a beautiful poem, and you have captured Elrond's feeling so well. It kind of blew me away to find this here, for I wrote a poem with the same title. Anyway, loved your poem. One cannot read it without tears for all that was lost. Do you write fanfiction also?
Here is my poem:
My Broken Heart (Lord Elrond’s Lament)
My heart is brim full of memories,
Those who are lost to me live there.
I would trade those memories for
One last word
One last caress
One gentle sigh,
But my memories are worth naught;
They cannot buy that
For which I long the most,
For they are gone,
The ones I hold most dear;
My heart is brim full of memories
And laced together
With sorrow and
Sad farewells.
- cynaemon
This is a very interesting little poem. I read it several and I was still not completely sure what it was about. I thought to myself, 'it could have been written about the experiences of a soldier.' Still, it is a well-written poem, and I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
Congratulations for being featured in this week's Spiritual Newsletter, and also making it into the Anthology. This is a very nice poem about angels. It also has very nice sentiments. Most angels are probably nice. Keep up the good work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
This sounds more like a rant than anything else, and something about which you wish to preach. That is fine, for as a writer you have the right to express yourself as you wish.
However, there is no such word as prerejorative. The word is pejorative. The word expresses contempt, criticism, hostility, disregard and/or disrespect. And it is used incorrectly in this instance. I think the word you want is prerogative.
Also it is not necessary to shout at your readers!
I really enjoyed reading your poem about a nighttime lover. Since verse two and three both have 5 couplets, it would be nice if verse one did too, but it isn't absolutely necessary. I would just like the symmetry better if it did. Also, you do not need a comma after every other line. The only one really needed is in the last verse, the second to the last line.
I liked the dark feel of the poem, and the way it leaves the reading wondering what will happen to the two.
Technically I saw no grammatical or spelling errors.
This is an interesting little poem with a dark side. I liked it. Just a few things. In your description, I think "While flipping through it" would sound a bit better. And as it is almost the first thing a person sees, you don't want it to have incorrect grammar.
Since verses two through five are all four lines with lines two and four rhyming, I think the poem would flow better if the first verse had the same format.
Otherwise, good job, especially for something written a while ago.
I enjoyed reading your little story about the Pokémon characters. While I am not all that familiar with them, I found that it did not really matter. One seldom knows the true characters in a writer's story. But you did make them come alive, and I could feel and see the emotions behind the actions. Excellent job.
Just one small error, a typo, or oversight:
“I hoped you would.” I walked over to me - should be 'he' walked over.
Congratulations on being featured in the Poetry Newsletter. Really nice poem about butterflies, and excellent job of using all the parameters of the prompt. You have painted some lovely images. Especially liked the line: Drifting on the whispering wind. I wondered at your use of sprouts in the flowers until I read the requirements. Very creative way to use the word. Keep up the good work. Best wishes, Cynaemon
Congratulations on being featured in the Poetry Newsletter. This is a nice little feel good poem about a happy childhood and growing up. There were no obvious grammatical or spelling errors. The poem has a nice rhythm and flow. Keep up the great writing. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
This is an excellent poem about moving on. I think you have captured the essence of this emotion perfectly. Your poem is well written, and flows very well. Since it is a free form poem, I think I would have left the periods after most of the lines out, but that is kind of the author's prerogative. Good job. Keep up the great writing. I look forward to reading more of your work. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
I enjoyed your short poem about the sad state of our environment. I think you have really hit the nail on the head with this poem. It says all it needs to in a few short sentences. Good work. I saw no grammatical or typing errors. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
This is a nice little poem about a mythical place. I like the way you repeat the lines "There was once a Kingdom" throughout the poem. This really gives it a nice cohesiveness. I think line three should say "Beautiful BY any comparison", not "in".
Also, just one typo, misfortune took hold. Good job. Best Wishes, Cynaemon
Thank you for your really good haiku. This is easily the best poem I have read on WDC tonight. I was just about ready to give up hope, as I have waded through some very poorly written items. You have restored my faith. The format is perfect, and you have done a wonderful job of capturing the true spirit of a haiku. Keep up the good work. Best wishes, cynaemon
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