I found this to be quite interesting. I found no typos or misspelled words and you certainly had my attention from the beginning to the end of the story.
I'd love to read some of your father's truck driving stories. As he tells them, you should write them down and ask his permission to share with your writing.com family.
I found not typos or misspelled words in this piece.
You did a great job of portraying the true self. I can rememer when I was a teen. I don't know how anyone really knew me, because I never knew myself until I was grown. I'm grown, but I refuse to grow up. Sometimes (except for not knowing who I am or where I'm going) I still feel and think like a teen.
Welcome to our writing.com family. I know you'll enjoy being a part of us. There are so many different ways that we can use our writing and so many ways of improving.
If you have any trouble finding your way around, please email me and I'll help any way I can.
This was an interesting story and word search. It reminds me of our own Azalea City in North Carolina.
Keep up the good work. I remember seeing a couple errors, but was so interested in the story I forgot to mark them. I remember one place you said "left the household chores to Lindy and I"<--this should be "me".
"forgot there bridge hands"<--in this case, there should be spelled their.
Very well written. The reader can feel the pain and pleading in the tone this is written in. I'm not much for poetry because I tend to want the story behind the poem. However, you have done a great job with this piece. Your words and verses flow smoothly making it easy to read.
Only when a person has determined to change their life and commits them-self to change what is going on in their world will they take a chance. <--I noticed several errors in this sentence. You started out with a personwhich is singular. Then you said commits them-self Here I see three errors. If you're talking about a personthis would not be them but himself or herself. Also, if you were talking about more than one person, you would say themselves. Another error would be commits them-self If you're talking about more than one person, you should say commit themselves or if you're talking about one person you should say commits himself or herself.
It might be best to say Only when people have determined to change their lives and commmit themselves to change what is going on in their world will they take a chance.
I hope I haven't confused you.
This has been an interesting piece. I think you just need to go back an proof. Check for consistency. It's good but it does need just a little work.
While Jesus didn't preach be good or go to Hell, He did preach be born again or you'll go to Hell. At least He did explain that unless we repent we can't be saved.
I see no reason to give this anything less than a 5. I found no errors and you held my interest from the beginning to the end. Plus, it got published, right?
$16! Wow! I had two of my stories published by a Sunday school publishing company as Sunday school take-home-sheets. They paid me $5 each for them. Yet, $5,000 couldn't have thrilled me more. The fact that someone liked it and bought it was very fulfilling. Also, think of all the kids that took the stories home with them from Sunday school and read them.
I realize I'm a little behind in reading this, but CONGRATULATIONS anyhow.
I think this piece deserves a 5. Not only did I not see any typos or misspelled words, but the words and verses flow smoothly. The words are so touching. Such a beautiful prayer. Like your description to this piece, sometimes it's hard to let go and let God, but that's the only thing we can do sometime.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece.
It would however, be easier on the eyes if you would divide it into smaller verses.
It's a good poem which makes a lot of sense. Sometimes I think the worse thing we can do is let others in to know all our hidden secrets. Then sometimes it's good to get some of our secrets out in the open.
I've often said my life is an open book, and have often regretted the fact that it seems so.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. It caught my interest from the very beginning. I was on the edge of my seat as excited as Jeremy was.
I could hardly wait to see what Mariana's decision was, and then there I was at the end of the story. I was most disappointed. It ended so abruptly, not telling the decision after all.
I do hope you will consider going back in and giving it an actual ending.
This is a very interesting write. I could feel the calmness as I read towards the end of it.
Not many of us recognize that moment when it comes. We get so busy trying not to get bored that we simply overlook the chance to relax and enjoy the quiet.
You have truly written words of wisdom in this. We do need to get back to the real meaning of Christmas.
I can certainly see why you received an awardicon.
However, to make it a better read (I almost didn't finish reading it because the lines kept running together on me), you need to break it down into paragraphs and double space between each paragraph.
Keep up the good work and write on!
First and foremost, be thankful too your God for what you have been given this year.
You dont<--Here you need an apostrophe don't have to shower them with gifts or fill their bank accounts with money,I think this needs to be two separate sentences. invite them to dinner or just stop by and offer a helping hand with something they can't do for themselves.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.53 seconds at 9:43am on Jun 18, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
