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I read your little poem. I would like to see you add to it. That's what makes this site so much fun. We start out with something and just continue to build on it.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. It's written quite well. You certainly have a powerful message within the contents of this piece.
As I read it, my thoughts branched out in several directions. One thing I thought of was how it helps to reach out and help others when we're feeling lonely and blue.
I enjoyed reading this story. However, you do have quite a few typos. Rather than list them at the present, I thought you might want to go back and read it slowly and aloud. That seems to help me catch booboos I'd catch no other way.
If you'd like for me to edit for you, let me know and I'll do it through email.
I have some white friends who adopted a black baby. When we see them in public, we can see the love between baby and parents. I think it's a wonderful thing your family has done.
Keep up the good work in writing and in helping others.
Wow! I'm surprised that in a piece this large I didn't find more errors.
It’s horrible the way they died
You certainly know how to grab and hold the reader's attention. I was glued to this computer. The curiosity at first, then the suspense grew with each paragraph.
As I was reading, I wondered how it could possibly end. Actually, I like the way you ended this piece.
Oh my! This is a tear jerker. My heart went out to this couple. I could feel the love in it. It's amazing how a promise made so long ago can keep a person going.
This reminds me of one of my customers when I worked at the grocery store many years ago. He took car of his wife this way. He eventually had to put her in the nursing home. He would come in the store and if we asked how he was, he would break down and cry. But we all knew he had done all he could for her.
This is a beautiful poem with a wonderful meaning. I think most of us have turned away (maybe without realizing what we were doing at the time). Isn't it wonderful that He welcomes us back with open arms? He leaves the 90 and 9 and goes out and brings the 1 (stray) back in to the fold.
I think this might look better if you capitalized the beginning of each line.
I certainly hope you plan to have at least one follow-up story with this. I'd like to see Amy call on the wee little man for help of some sort. This just sounded like it would have a continuation.
I noticed in your description (under your title) that you have an error. staring should be starring
Fred ran off going right through the center of a thick est<--need to delete the space between thick and est
You've written a great little children story. It caught my eye right away because Teddy Bears are my favorite. I can remember my first. His name was Tippy.
You have just a few booboos you might want to correct.
Tim shed a tear not<--did you mean to say that? couldn't be seen
Gosh! This is so precious. What a great thing to write for your granddaughter. I love the story plot. I found no mistakes at all. You held my interest from the beginning to the end.
This seems to be well written. I'd say you did a great job with these six little word-pictures. You've given description quite well. As I finished reading the description of each one, not only did I have an idea of the personal appearance, but also of each one's personality and characteristics.
Very well written. I sure hope I never have to go to Korea. I love my coffee too much to live where they don't have good coffee.
Oh, and Starbucks! It's the greatest. I like going to our Malls and getting this while shopping (or should I say window shopping; a large cup of coffe is just about all I can afford most of the time).
This is a beautiful poem about Heaven. You've done a great job with this piece. I found no typos or misspelled words and the poem reads smoothly.
You've given a good description of what you think Heaven is like. I looked back over it to see if there was a verse I liked better than the rest. It's all good.
I found no errors in this story. As I read it, it brought back a lot of different memories for me.
I remember my grandma telling us kids stories; some funny, some scary.
When my first grandchild came along, I began telling stories to him at bedtime. Then by the time I had 5 grandchildren, I started writing stories using them as the characters.
Today, I sat down with 6 yr. old Noah and read some stories his cousins had written for me a while back.
Oops! I'm sorry. I seem to have gotten carried away.
Needless to say, I enjoyed this piece.
Grandma Penny
This is absolutely beautiful. I found no typos or misspelled words and don't know what you could do to improve it. It sounds to me like it was inspired.
Actually it is a prayer that I think we could all afford to pray.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
I know if I get technical, this piece probably isn't "perfect", but I enjoyed it so much, I can't resist. The only thing you could have done to make it better as far as I'm concerned would be to write more.
I've always seemed to be an accident waiting for somewhere to happen and this was right down my alley. I'd love to read more.
Wow! You did a great job with this. I only found a couple errors. You certainly know how to hold the reader's interest.
"Well, sir, I'll just take you through my day."
They hoped they would work to "lower the ceiling." They'd heard was too high. They hoped they would work to "lower the ceiling" they'd heard was too high.
I have found the apartment living to be quite comforting. The neighbors are all in the same building. There is never a dull moment.
However, where I live, there's not privacy because of the neighbors being so close. If someone isn't ringing my door bell, someone is ringing my phone. Sometimes both.
I still love it, though.
Grandma Penny
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