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Review of Terror  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Job well done! I found no typos or misspelled words, which it seems I never find those in your writings. Apparently you proof your writing before posting it. *Smile*

This is true. Different people react to terror in many different ways.

Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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Review of Thanksgiving  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very good acrostic. However, the first letters (those done in orange) don't seem to stand out quite enough. I don't know if you bolded them or not. If not, you might want to try to do that.

You have some very interesting points in this piece.

Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You've done a good job writing this piece.

Suggestion: Your title would look much better if you didn't type it in all caps. This seems to distract attention from the actual write. Someone brought this point to my attention when I first joined the site.

Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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679
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Once again, you've written a good piece. I found not typos or misspelled words. Is there a tune to this one also?

I especially like the last verse. If we would all start our day out thinking this way, we'd have a much better life.

Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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680
Review of A Bird's Eye View  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. However, the yellow and the light green with this yellow background is very hard to read. *Idea*Maybe you could choose a couple darker colors to make it easier on the eyes.

Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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681
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is another good write. I found no typos or misspelled words (you must keep a dictionary nearby). I can tell you take pride in your work.

The words and verses flow rather smoothly.

Keep up the good work and continue writing. *Smile*

Grandma Penny
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682
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
You've done a good job with this piece. I found no typos or misspelled words, and the lines read smoothly.

There is much truth in this write. Often, I think we mistake opportunity as a threat rather than a blessing.

If we never answered when it knocks, we will never know what we could have accomplished.

Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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683
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This a very touching piece. I found no typos or misspelled words. You've given a good description of a loving, older sister. I'm glad you were able to be there for her to hold her hand.

This piece reads smoothly except for the following:
An easy target for me up above; Betty never understood
me then; often gave me that 'older sister look.'


Keep writing.
Grandma Penny


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Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very touching poem declaring your love.

I noticed that the last word in a verse, rhymes with the last line of the verse before. I've never seen one written like that before.

Keep up the good work and continue to write.

Grandma Penny
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Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think we all wear different types of masks through out our lives. You've given a good description of the many masks you have worn.

I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece.

Keep up the good work and continue to write on.

Grandma Penny
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686
Review of Amber  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
You're right. Amber is a beautiful name.

I saw no typos or misspelled words. You've given a wonderful description of your daughter.

My youngest child (John Boy Walton) just turned 30.
No, that's not a typo. *Laugh* I was married to a Walton for nearly 16 years, but death separated us. We had three children. When the last one was born, that movie Walton's Mountain was popular. We named our baby Jonathan, but the nurses nicknamed him John Boy. We still call him that.

Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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687
Review of Miracle or Misery  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Another good write. This is a subject I know all too well. The only thing, when my migraine is gone, I feel like rubber and am weak and confused; almost disoriented.

My heart goes out to anyone who suffers with such headaches as you've described.

Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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688
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a nice poem, but the lines and words are a little jerky; unlike most of your poetry I've read.

The fact that you have no typos or misspelled words is a plus for you. I don't think I've found anything like that in any of your writings. This shows that you take great pride in your work.

Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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689
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is absolutely beautiful and so full of truth.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece.
You're doing a good job with your poetry.

Love does put the meaning in life.

Just keep up the good work and write on. *Smile*

Grandma Penny
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690
Review of Fire's Match  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You've written this well. The only thing I see wrong: you need to make lines 3 and 4 one line; 5 and 6 should be one line.

This pertains to both verses.

Other than that, you have a great little poem speaking against arsonists.

Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! I don't think you made any errors. I did try to watch for them, but found myself concentrating on the arrow-shaped verses.

This was really neat.

I don't know of anything I'd change to make improvements on this piece.

If I offered a suggestion, it would be for you to keep up the good work and continue to write.

Grandma Penny
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Review of Winter Weather  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
You've given a great description of winter weather with it's good and bad.

We don't have much snow where I live now, but I can remember having lots of it when I was a child. I shiver now, when I think of the many hours I spent trampling in the snow and making snowmen, and make believe igloos.

Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Review of England  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! So many memories to share. You did a good job with this piece.

I didn't see any errors. You painted a beautiful picture of a place I've never been, but feel like I just visited there and saw all the beautiful gardens you described. That's what writing's all about; pulling your reader into it.

Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Review of Extremes  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You have certainly observed what is around almost everywhere we go. It may be worse in some places than in others.

It's really sad that there are some who have so much, yet others who work just as hard, have barely enough to get by on.

Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
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Review of Why I Write  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! I'm glad you decided to finally get on with your dream. I enjoyed reading this piece.

I think you may have written it a bit faster than most of your writings since I found a few errors. Just a little editing and corrections, and you've got yourself a great write.

Nearly twenty hyears to be exact.

Being a pbit perturbed with my wife

Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very touching poem. It's scarey to think about not being able to communicate. I'm sure you wrote pretty much your mother's thoughts in this piece.

There were no typos that I could tell.

Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
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Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
You beat all I've ever seen. You're the only person I know of who can write a good short story in rhymes. lol

You did a good job with this, but you might need to edit and look for sentences that should either be broken down into two sentences or separated by a semicolon.

n I did daring back down drop<--OOPS! I think you forgot to put a period at the end of the sentence.

Ive<--You need an apostrophe here. Just a slight oversight, I'm sure, since you did it right in the next sentence.footprints on many lives; I hope that by leaving my unique tread-mark

Keep up the good work and write on.
Grandma Penny
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698
Review of I Remember  Open in new Window.
Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I gave you a 5 for this piece because I saw no errors and don't know of anything you need to make it better.

This is a very touching poem. As I read it, my heart went out to you.

Have you thought about writing a short story about your brother? You could share some of your memories with us, tell about his illness and the surgery, and how you adjusted to the outcome. I know this might be painful for you, but it would probably help others who might be going through the same thing. This is just an idea. If not now, maybe later?

Grandma Penny
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Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! This is amazing. It seems to poorest of folks are usually the most hospitable.

You did a good job with this. *Idea* It would look more attractive and be easier to read if you maybe broke it down into verses: 4 lines per verse. I counted them and it would be perfect.

Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Review by grandmapenny Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is very touching.

I feel that writing about things like this that happen to us in our lives is wonderful therapy.

I do think it would read better in regular letter form than as poetry. Have you thought about writing a short story about your losses and your blessings(the babies you were able to have)? It would probably be a comfort to someone else who has gone through the same experience.

Keep up the good work and write on!
Grandma Penny
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