I just had to give you a 5 on this one, even with what I consider an error.
I noticed in a couple places you mixed past tense with present tense. It would read much better if you stick with just one tense.
However, I love this story. I have two grandchildren who were born on Friday 13. My granddaughter was baby #13 to be born on Friday 13. I consider this a very lucky #, don't you?
I love the picture. She was a beautiful little girl and although I haven't seen a photo of her as an adult, I'm sure she's just as beautiful now. I know she has a beautiful personality. I'm betting she got that from her mom.
I believe she also has good taste. She and the Storymaster make a great team. All of us on the site love them both.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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I like your openness in this item. That's needed very much. This is a subject that not many people will discuss. I admire you for wanting to help others in this area.
I do have a question: Women who have had hysterectomies at an early age usually go through premature menopause. How can they tell when they have gone out of menopause?
Why don't you add to this and branch out a little farther?
I saw no errors in this piece. You've done a very good job.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Oh my! What a beautiful and heartfelt story. You didn't stop sharing joy on the holidays. You've just shared joy with this reader. I've got to say this is the part I like best about this story. This is wonderful.
I love doing for others, but don't have much to offer material wise. This reminded me of the Christmases when my children were small. We wanted to teach them that it's more blessed to give than to recieve. Their dad and I always had several elderly folks and needy children that we took our children to visit. At that time, we couldn't afford much, but we were able to do just a little to bring joy into their lives. However, we received as much through this as they did.
Now my children are grown, but they're always looking around for someone they can do something for at Christmas and Thanksgiving. The grandchildren (the Bible club kids) are following the example.
Thanks so much for sharing this.
A tiny voice said from inside said,
Keep up the good work and write on.
Grandma Penny
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You must be trying to put Grandma Penny out of business, what with all this writing and not making any errors. Once again, I looked, but if they were ever there, they ran when they saw me coming.
I really enjoyed this. Actually, I tried to imagine myself writing this to my boss.
I especially liked the part about the rotten eggs in the file cabinet. If I were to write something like this to my boss, I'd have to leave the part about the dust and cobwebs out since I'm the one who does all the filing.
I went back over this looking for something I don't like, but that's just not possible. I really like this item.
I don't know what you could possibly do to improve it.
I'm giving it a 4.5 because they say there's always room for improvement, although I don't see the need for that here.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Well now! I know I'm supposed to point out errors and give you solutions for them. The only problem with that is, I didn't see any errors. If there were any there, they ran and hid when they saw Grandma Penny coming.
I thought maybe I'd find a misspelled word but I had no luck there.
I like the way you take the reader on tour. I could actually see the inside of the building you were describing. I think the very beginning is my favorite part of all. At writing.com, the door is always open with a wonderful welcoming committee.
I would like to have seen this go even farther. You could have taken us to the Writing room, and introduced us to things like static items, images, journals, etc.
Even with you stopping where you did, you have written a very constructive and most informative editorial.
Thanks for sharing this. I'm sure any newbie will find it very helpful.
You could probably write an editorial like this every week and cover something new each time. You'd be busy for many weeks; even months.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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This is a very interesting piece. I agree with you that the world would be a better place if it weren't for greed and dishonesty.
You made quite a few errors that you might want to go back in and correct to make it an even better piece.
Keep up the good work.
It just issn’t like people to
shifty eyesand<--these two words need to be separated. Propably just an oversight. wore a disarming
I sighed, if even in Singapore, these embarrassments of society exist, unknown to most foreigners, what more would larger, more difficult and problematic to control countries like, for example, Indonesia or the Phillipines?This sentence is a bit too long, and I think there's a verb missing.
I'm just a 14 year old kid, don't sue me.
pPb}Please R n R. iI'll really appreciate it.
Grandma Penny
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A very well written poem. The meaning it portrays is very true. Words can do much more damage sometimes than physical wounds and bruises.
What you said had hurt me.
Stabbed me like a knife.
The pain that it has caused me
I'm still feeling
And try to fight<--These last two lines need to be one line.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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Very well written. I found absolutely no errors. That says a lot for you, the writer. You must take great pride in your work.
I noticed you indented each paragraph. That's good. Yet, it would be even easier to read if you would also double space between paragraphs. You don't have to do this, but it would just be easier on the eyes although the indentions help a lot.
You have a good beginning. I like the way you lead up to the story. You've left me wanting to read more, but I'll to procrastinate on this one. My eyes are getting mighty heavy.
I'll try my best to get back to it and read the remaining chapters. It looks like it's going to be a great story.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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You've written a very colorful piece about your students. ( I assume this is about your students )
It's so rewarding to see another person learn and feel that you had a part in it.
Of course, there will always be some who don't want to learn.
I'd like to offer a suggestion as to how you can make this even better, but I just don't see any need for improvement in this. I think you did a great job.
Awww...I know your mother was proud of this poem.
You did a wonderful job. I like the way you let your mom know she raised you right, and any mistakes you make are your own; not her fault. My youngest son is always reminding me of this.
you should smile when you hear your name.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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All the while I've dealing with change,
There was carpet to soften my climb. All the while I've dealt with change
I'm looking forward to reading more of your poetry and hopefully short stories. I'll keep checking back to see if you've added to your port, or you can email me when you add something.
Grandma Penny
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I'm not the best judge when it comes to poetry; the forms and patterns or rules.
About all I can judge is the content of the poem. This is very good. I've read several poems along this line, but you have done the best job as far as I can see in describing just what teens go through.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Well, now. You've written a rather informative piece. I caught the humor, but the seriousness of it scared me. You've described Grandma Penny to a T with the exception of not getting around to drinking the coffee. That's one thing I've never forgotten so far, although I have gone to heat up a cup in the microwave, and hours later realize it's still in the microwave. Sometimes I realize it when I go to put the second cup in the microwave and see the first cup.
However, I somehow never miss the first cup of the morning. I think that's because I know there's not really life before coffee and I do want to live. I just park my carcass in front of the coffee pot until it's ready to pour.
You've done a great job with this. It would really be so much easier to read if you'd double space between paragraphs.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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What a neat idea. I'm sure all of us could use an outline like this. Thanks for sharing this. I've never actually thought of using an outline. I just put my notes down, look them over, mill over them a while, then start building around them. I think I will find this outline most helpful.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Very well written. I like your thoughts on turning our lives over to God. He is also my strength; my everything.
Thanks for sharing this. You never know just who it might help.
First of all, I need to tell you that each and everyone of you are each God's personal individual miracles. each and every oneis repetitive. You only need to use each. You don't need the extra each...suggestion: each of you are God's personal...
Keep writing, and keep sharing this wonderful testimony and invitation.
Grandma Penny
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I know a lot of folks don't believe in give 5s, but I think this one deserves the highes rating. I found no errors, and don't what could be done to improve it.
I love you illustration with the cake ingredients. That was a very good lesson.
You described the rainbow beautifully.
Sure have missed seeing you around. Hope you're well.
Grandma Penny
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This is another great idea. I've read a lot of these author's writings, and you have some good writers listed here. I know each of them appreciate the recognition very much.
I also saw some whose ports I haven't visited, so I'll add this to my favorites and visit soon.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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I think this is a wonderful way to encourage writers to encourage other members on the site.
In reviewing, not only do we get a lot of interesting reading material but it helps us to see mistakes that others make and helps us to not make those mistakes. In many cases, we see others making the same mistakes that we make, and it tends to send off our proofing alarm so we will do better also.
In writing reviews, we improve our ability to proof not only others' writing, but our own.
I appreciate the many ways you encourage the members on this site.
I give you thumbs up. (Wish we had a thumbs-up emoticon )
Thanks for everything you do.
Grandma Penny
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Why don't you add to this and branch out a little farther? 
