You did a very good job on this piece. It blows my mind how so many folks can get away with such bad behavior. It's a shame you and your co-worker were punished for doing the absolute right thing.
Thanks for sharing this, and keep up the good work, both in your writing and in standing up for what you think is right.
Below is a suggestion for something you might want to change to make your piece look better.
Grandma Penny
There were a few times that I recall a residents falling out of bed <---This could be worded several different ways to look better.
Example: I recall a resident falling...; I recall residents falling...; I recall a resident's falling...
Another very well constructed story. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out what parts are truth and what parts are fiction.
I only caught one boo boo, which is listed below.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
Talking and sharing words were always the thing that bound my grandfather and Ime together..leave out grandfather and say bound "I" or bound "me". Which sounds right? I realize there's a rule for this but for the life of me, I can't remember how it's worded.
Another very interesting write. Once again, you held my interest from beginning to end. What a clever idea, having a tree house for your dog's safety. Bless his bones, he was such a good dog to share his tree house with his family. lol
Something unusual about this story though: you made some boo boos. I was beginning to think you didn't know how to do that. You are such a good writer, and the other pieces I've read, have been pretty much error free.
Keep up the good work. I'm really enjoying my visit to your port.
Grandma Penny
PS Below are some suggestions for corrections.
I wondered if we could find this guy cCovenants and get him to tell everyone that they had to keep their dog in their own backyard.
Caroline opened the silverware drawer,
or the time Sarah and meI missed our school bus helpful hint-When I have a doubt as to whether I need to use Me or I, I leave the other person out and say..(example: Me missed our school bus...I missed our school bus)
My Dad went to our van,<---when using my before dad, you're not using "dad" as a proper noun. When say Dad with nothing before it, you're using it as a proper name. Should be My dad
From the mouths of babes. lol
I sure hope you'll soon be adding more to your port. I've enjoyed what I've read so far. With all those children, you should be able to come up with several books. lol
Grandma Penny
This is well written and to the point. It reminds me of my husband. Not long ago, I took him by the hand and led him to the trash can. I handed him an old shirt, and told him I'd help him throw it away. I pretended to be coaxing him. As he held his hand over the trash, still holding on to the shirt, I cooed, that's it, breath easy, now let go of the shirt. When he let go of the old shirt, he began laughing like a maniac. He just played along with my little game, then pulled the shirt back out of the trash. I give up. lol
I enjoyed this folder, especially the booger stories. My youngest son use to say, "You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't wipe your friends on the couch."
This is a very good write. You have good description and detail. Grandmothers seem to gain strength from the little ones. I know sometimes, I can be so sick or exhausted I can hardly move. My grandchildren can come in and it's like I have a new lease on life.
Below are a few suggestions I've made for corrections.
as a tiny God fearing women
Somehow this next sentence doesn't look quite right. Should it be "fade" rather than "feds"?-->As these memories now begin to feds,<---
grandchildren should be one word--->grand children, and her great grand children
A very good write. Thanks for sharing this memory with us. My guess is, you dad also took his time opening his own gifts because of the surprise inside. In his childhood, there probably weren't many surprises. I've reached the point that instead of wanting to hurry and open my gifts, I like to wait as long as I can. Once the surprise is revealed (no matter how much I like the gift}, the magic is gone.
This is definitely a job well done. It reminded me of the time my sister-in-law and I moved our couch from one side of the living room to the other. My brother was out drinking, so when he came in, he came in quitely. He pulled his shoes off at the door, tiptoed over to where the couch was when he left that morning.
When he bounced off the wall, it woke everybody in the house up. But, like you, he was trying to be considerate. LOL
Clever idea. The only thing, once the homeless and prisoners have been devoured, the healthy vampires will have to turn to the valued members of society.
Prison guards would be out of a job. With a large decrease in crime, the police force would be out looking for jobs that are not there.
YIKES! More homeless people for the vampires. The only ones winning in this is the vampires. lol
Still a clever idea.
You did a good job on this piece. It certainly held my interest from the beginning to the end. I didn't see any typos. So, I'd say, keep up the good work and write on.
I realize this is not the way we're supposed to do this, but I gave you a 5 for Randy. You did a greatjob of telling us about Randy. I don't think I saw any typos except, I think over-protective parents should be overly-protective parents.
Keep up the good work and write on.
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