I sure do hope you have already continued this somewhere in your port. I can hardly wait to see what other kind of trouble they get into.
You've written this well. It caught my interest immediately. You've done a great job with description and detail, making the characters and their environment come to life on the screen.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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I think I like the first three lines the best. No matter what, true love does live on. Even when death parts two soul mates, that love seems to live on and on.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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I found this to be rather interesting. As I read this, I tried to picture myself retired. I just have this awful feeling that once I'm retired, I'll absolutely work my silly self to death.
I can think of so many things I want and need to do, but can't get them done because of my public job. I don't think I'd ever find time to sit on the front porch and watch the world go by.
However, I would like to think that I could go fishing anytime I wanted to, but then again, I wouldn't get all these other things done.
You did a great job with this.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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This is a great little poem. You said a lot in just a few words.
As I read this, I thought of something I'd never thought of before.
I use to love to watch the lightning bugs at night, but I never thought of their lights being God's light, but I guess it is. As well as the stars and the moon. I know he created these, but it just never dawned on me that they are His light.
The crickets, the comforting night sounds we hear at night are God's special blessngs to us.
This is beautiful. I think what holds the most beauty in this is the title. The Lady Down the Street. Isn't it something how a person can live such a life that even the neighbors are influenced by it. This lady had lived a good life, and had apparently let her light shine for Jesus. She seems to have left her testimony behind.
You did a great job of this.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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This is just too cute. Apparently, this sauerkraut deodorant must already be on the market. I notice the smell quite often when out shopping.
YIKES! Such large dosages of the drug.
You made just a couple boo boos. You might want to go ahead and correct these. If you'll double space between paragraphs, it'll be so much easier to read and more attractive.
Deodeorant just doesn't hold up to its name.
Even though Dr. Finkerstang is not quite sure what "Wango" is exactly, he does know that ist causes people to "make monkey noises" and "crave sardine&banana ice cream".
Keep up the good work. I love this.
Grandma Penny
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This is a nice poll. I wasn't quite sure how to answer the question. I only work 20 hrs. a week, my children are grown, and I see them often. I do, however depend on my husband to help around here, not just so I can be online, but because the place is so big, I need help.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Such a small poem with such a big message. As I read this, I thought of a song I heard recently. I'm not sure of the title, but it says "sometimes He calms the storm, sometimes He calms me." I've found this to be true many times in my life.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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You wrote this well. I only found a couple errors. However, I'd like to make a suggestion. It's hard to read a large piece as this when it's all single spaced. It would be easier to read, and look more attractive, if you'd double space between the paragraphs.
I like a point you brought out at the very end. In seeing the undertakers close the lid, you were able to have a closure of your aunt's death.
he sun splattered on the concrete and sizzled on the top of the hurst,<--Shouldn't this be hearse?
There was a creaking noise as the funeral director stood at her head and closed the lit<--I think you might have meant to say lid{/i] of the casket
Keep up the good work and write on. You did a great job!
I like this. I think the part I like best is Forever our love will stand the test of time;
Forever I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine;
Forever as long as the stars still shine;
Forever is a long time, but true love can last forever.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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Very well written. It seems that sometimes in an abusive relationship, it takes reaching the point of not caring in order for the one being abused to walk away. Then again, sometimes to not care anymore can be dangerous. It's bad to just give up and let the abuse continue without caring.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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That was some trip. You've certainly enlightened me about New York. Being from the country, I don't think I want that adventure. I did go to Chicago once. I thought I'd starve to death before I got back to my home of southern fried cooking.
You held my interest all the way through this piece. Actually, I'm craving pizza right now. But, I'd have to have something to wash it down.
The only suggestion I can make to you, is keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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Gosh! This is so sentimental. It almost brought tears to my eyes. This is written beautifully. You have given a very detailed picture of a young girl being there for a friend. Not many young girls would have done this.
In it was an old photo of Mabel and I. Rule of thumb is to leave out Mabel and. Thus reading, photo of I or photo of me. It should read photo of Mabel and me.
Again, let me say, you have done a beautiful job of writing this story.
I especially like the letter that was written by Mabel to Rose.
Keep writing.*smle*
Grandma Penny
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Wow! You certainly had my interest from beginning to end. This is a very interesting story. You gave good detail and description throughout the whole story.
I would like to suggest that you please go into edit, and double space between each pargraph. That will make it so much easier to read.
I found a few typos which I have listed below.
with the rolle of what a father and husband should be.
When the car was torn from the train by a tree planted too close to the tracks,
You have done a good job.
Grandma Penny
{imge:855146}
I feel that this folder deserves a 5. You've put a lot of hard work into it, and it shows.
I took an interest in the story, because it is so true to life.
There are things like this going on all around us. Folks just don't realize how easy it is to fall into a trap like the main character of this story did.
Whether a story like this is fiction or nonfiction, I feel everyone should read it and take heed to the real cult-like situations and how they never look as they really are until one is trapped.
Not all cults wind up offering live sacrifices such as killing a child, etc., yet to brain wash another human being is killing that person's ability think for himself.
I'm so glad you chose to let at least one in this story see the truth and expose all the wrong doings.
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. It kept me on the edge of my seat from beginning to end.
You wrote it in such a way, that I felt the pain, agony, grief and sometimes confusion that the characters were feeling.
In my eyes, you have proved to be one of the best authors on our site.
Please keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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Wow! This is such a beautiful tribute to a man called Raleigh. You've given such a complete description of him. I could just hear the music from his fiddle.
I'm so glad folks were good to him. I've met folks like Raliegh. They are a very special lot.
Keep writing and thanks so much for sharing this story with us.
Grandma Penny
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If you'll double space between paragraphs, it'll be so much easier to read and more attractive.
It should read photo of Mabel and me.