I saw no typos in this. However, I'm wondering who your friends are and how you came about meeting like this every night. It does sound like fun, though.
I did notice that you switch back and forth from present to past tense; sometimes in the same paragraph.
I'd like to see you add a little more explanation and detail to this piece. It's a good piece, but would be so much better if the reader is not left with questions.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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This is so cute. I can identify with the babysitter. I could hardly resist waking my children up when they were asleep. They were so cute while sleeping.
You're sister's reaction to your parents going to the play, was hilarious. Just like a child. lol
I was so engrossed in this, I almost forgot to look for errors. I hope I didn't overlook something, since I know this is what reviewing is all about. But this was just so good.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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This has to get a 5. No typos. Every word and verse reads smoothly. And what a lesson! I'm putting it on my favorites so I can read it to the Bible Club kids.
This was an interesting story. I'm wondering if Daniel ate the frog legs, or if he shared them with his guest. Or, did the frog completely whup Daniel, causing him to give up on eating the legs?
I didn't see any errors, however, I was pretty busy trying to thaw up by the fireplace. lol Yep, I got into the story. lol
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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Rather than comment on each chapter (which is what I usually do), I've decided to comment on the whole folder.
You've done a great job writing this, and I hope you'll soon add more chapters to it.
In the beginning, I was so angry, I couldn't find words to say.
This brought back a lot of my past feelings. Although, I was never sexually abused, there was always the threat and the fear of it. Only a miracle prevented it from happening.
However, I know the feeling of having someone you care for letting alcohol rule their lives and their actions.
I know the feeling of wanting my daddy to care for me, and have him tell me he loved me, but never really be there for me.
I know the feeling of loving and hating at the same time. I also know the feeling of having that person die.
I know what it's like to need your husband to stand by your side, and understand you with something like this. Fortunately, my husband was with me through out my daddy's funeral, but he let me know in no uncertain terms it was for me, not Daddy or his memory.
I also know how hard it is to forgive, but realize it is possible. It took years for me, but it happened.
Cheryl has proved to be a very strong and forgiving person. Although she had doubts and fears about visiting her father in the hospital, she still did the right thing. That says a lot for her character.
I couldn't understand the hostility she got from her mother until I think it was chapter 3 or 4. Then I got the whole picture.
I'd like to know more about when Cheryl's daddy left and why. I'm glad she got along well with her step-dad.
And of course, I want to know how this all turned out.
Keep up the good work, and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
Very well written; smooth and easy to read.
This is a very cute poem.
Have you ever thought of how many "treasures" might be down under? I've found money, knives, keys and keyrings, etc. But YIKES! all that mess I had to go through to find them. lol
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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I think this deserves a 5. I found no typos. You held my interest from the beginning of this piece to the end. You've written something I can identify with.
I love stories that share ones memories with the rest of us.
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