An indepth, comprehensive article about how to approach a review.
WHAT I LIKED
Everything! I even liked how you tackled how to approach a poetry review. That's something I need to brush up on.
CONTENT
The author of the article covers what I refer to as "editor" points - points that professional editors look at when evaluating a manuscript. These are important to master to get past those professional editors.
MECHANICS
I did not spot an spelling/punctutation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. A well written "how-to" article that is very helpful. The item was well deserving of it's awardicon.
Hello, it's StephBee with a review for the Best of the Rest Contest.
THE FOLDER
The folder houses the author's Cnote Collection.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the organziation. There's a nice variety of collections.
CONTENT
There's an eclectic offering of notes, a little something for everyone. If anything, there's room to expand the cnotes in the first collection.
INTRODUCTION
I might suggest using a graphic or WDC ML to make it "eye-catching" to a viewer so as to entice them in. There are plenty of review sig shoppes around the site if you want to look.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
Suggestions as mentioned above. A good folder that helps in Port orginzation. Good luck in the contest.
In introspective look at one's life and the masks they wear.
WHAT I LIKED
There was a lot of raw, high emotion throughout. Good voice. It held my attention.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by the narrator. Good job with POV narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's no dialogue
CHARACTERS
Narrator (main)
The narrator shares a time in her life that wasn't so good. It's something the reader can identify with. Life is filled with highs and lows we all can relate to. The emotion is vivid and gripping.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked the use of masks which mark transititions from different emotions and time periods in the narrator's life.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
I have no suggestions for improvement. I liked the ending. I thought it was a very positive outcome. Good luck in the Drama Contest.
A woman finds it difficult to relieve the guilt of losing her husband.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the high emotion throughout. It was a very intense story.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person limited from Amanda's perspective. Good good w/POV narration. Past tense is used appropriately. I only noted one tense switch with the sentence "The nights are the worst, she thought, then whispered, "Oh Eric, how I miss you." The tense switch is because you're giving us a look into her thoughts. When doing thoughts, try to leave "she thought" out and just state the thought. It's usually stronger if you do. Here's my suggestion:
The nights are the worst. Then Amanda cupped her chin with her hand, wracked with memories. "Oh, Eric, how I miss you," she whispered.
By using italics, you put us in her head without having to use "she thought."
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the story forward.
CHARACTERS
Amanda (main)
Amanda's grief is real and poginant. The author does a great job capturing her emotions. Readers can identify with her character.
DESCRIPTIONS
If anything, you could have probably expanded on this a little. I liked the desciption of the house, but challenge yourself - what do the oil lamps smell like? Vanilla? Warm or comforting? Or perhaps cottony, a little cool and put offish?
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
Suggestion as mentioned above. I liked the ending and how you implied their love transcended lifetimes. Good job.
A little child is trapped, trying to find their way to their father.
WHAT I LIKED
The vignette was riveting, filled with high emotion. You did a great job capturing that aspect of the dream world.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by the child. Good good w/POV narration. Present tense is used. Usually I recommend Past tense for stories, but what I liked is that you made the present tense work in this story and that's rare (for stories I find her on WDC.) Good job!
DIALOGUE
The dialogue is crisp and sharp, full and vibrant.
CHARACTERS
Child (main)
The reader can immediately identify with the child's struggles. Good job with characterization in such a short piece of fiction.
DESCRIPTIONS
If anything, you could have probably expanded on this a little, touching just a wee bit more on the senses.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
Suggestion as mentioned above. Good word selection. It gave the story the extra "umph" it needed. I liked the use of "brambles."
I thought this was a good, introspective vignette.
POV STRUCTURE/TENSE
This is told in the third person limited from Ed's perspective. Good job with POV narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's none.
CHARACTERS
Ed (main)
Ed reflects back on his life. It's something we've all done and can identify with. The characterization is very rich considering the time limit on the exercise.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scene.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
Well done for a 15 min. exercise. This is definately a vignette that can be expanded on.
Hello, it's StephBee with a Poetry Review from "Houston, We have a problem."
THE POEM
Lavender blue brings out feelings of love and passion.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the word play in the poem. I initally thought the wording invoked blue jeans, but then on a deeper introspection, I thought it might mine eyes. I think it could go either way and it leaves it up to the reader to come to their own conculsions.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem with a rythme scheme that flows, but there's no distinct pattern.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
I have no suggestions for improvement. This is an easy poem to read and enjoy.
Hello, it's StephBee with a Show Off Your Best at the Sandbox Review.
THE STORY
Shamgar attempts to save someone from the clutches of Abaddon.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the names. I thought they were original and they fit the plot of the story well.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This was told in the 3rd person limited mainly from Shamgar's perspecitve. Good job with POV Narration. Past tense was used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
The dialogue moved the plot forward. It was unique to the individual characters.
1ST 3 PARAGRAPHS
There's action in the tavern and that interested me. My only suggestion here would be to make the frog-like being something a little more challenging to Shamgar's might.
CHARACTERS
Shamgar, main
Shamgar is our hero on a quest. As he goes about it, he meets "Meghan," a side kick. He's heroic and daring, everything you want to see in a fantasy hero.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctutation. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
My suggestion would be to space between paragraphs. As the story is presented now, it's hard on the eyes.
The story fit the prompt (fantasy) and the word count was not listed IAW the rules of the contest. Good luck in the Show Off Your Best Contest.
Hello, it's StephBee with a Show Off Your Best at the Sandbox Review.
THE STORY
Khan learns a lesson about "god."
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the introspection the story offered - not only for Khan, but for reader' as well.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This was told using a script/play format.
DIALOGUE
I thought the dialogue was appropriate for the script/play and the topic it tackled. If anything, I might suggest putting the stage direction in parenthesis.
1ST 3 LINES
It poses the hero's quest. They intrigued me enough to keep reading.
CHARACTERS
Kahn, main
Kahn is on a quest to identify just what being a "god" means. His searching does provide answers and he grows as a character by the end of the script/play.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
While the fit a fantasy genre/plot, it did not fit the format of the contest. It was a script/play and the contest rules state "short stories" only. I think you've got a good one act play here and you might want to consider submitting to the 78th Writer's Digest Competition under their script/play format.
Hello, it's StephBee with a Show Off Your Best at the Sandbox Review.
THE STORY
Carlie tries to reconcile her love for Mark, as their parents have conspired to keep them apart.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the ending regarding Carlie's situtation.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This was told in the 3rd person limited mainly from Carlie's perspecitve. Good job with POV Narration. Past tense was used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
The dialogue moved the plot forward, but during the narration, there was a lot of "telling" (vs showing) I would have liked to have seen more dialogue.
Also, watch out for dialogue tags. If you need them use "he said," or "she replied." For example, as written:
"I forgot how beautiful you were," he rumbled, his voice breaking with emotion.
My suggestion: Mark's voice broke with heavy emotion. "I forgot how beautiful you were."
1ST 3 PARAGRAPHS
Painted a vivid description of Christmas Eve. It was a nice description. The action is subtle - Carlie is walking. The descriptions are just enough to paint the scene and not overwhelm the reader.
CHARACTERS
Carlie, main
Carlie is young going through a trying time in her life. It's easy to identify and root for her.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
My other suggestion would be to have Father Patrick tell Carlie his story while they are waiting for Mark. This would incorporate more "Showing" (vs telling) and make the emotional content of the story higher.
The story fit the prompt (holiday) and the word count was listed IAW the rules of the contest. Good luck in the Show Off Your Best Contest.
Hello, it's StephBee with a Show Off Your Best at the Sandbox Review.
THE STORY
Louise struggles to get through the holidays as her son is deployed to Iraq.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the story touched on some realistic emotions. It handled them well.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This was told in the 3rd person limited mainly from Louise's perspecitve. Good job with POV Narration. Past tense was used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
The dialogue moved the plot forward. Watch out for your dialogue tags. Try to keep them simple, like "he said," or "she replied." For example, as written: "Bah, humbug," Louise responded, struggling to make her voice light.
My suggestion: Louise struggled to make her voice light. "Bah, humbug."
1ST 3 PARAGRAPHS
The start interested me. Louise is feeling down and I wanted to know why.
CHARACTERS
Louise, main
The Christmas holidays have lost a little of their meaning for Louise with her son away. Trying to get that back isn't easy for her. It's a very realistic look at sadness.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. The ending inspires hope and that's what made the story a heartwarming read.
The story fit the prompt (holiday) and the word count was listed IAW the rules of the contest. Good luck in the Show Off Your Best Contest.
3 brothers go out on the ice to do some ice fishing.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the emotions the story evoked.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
The story is told in the 3rd person omniscient. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration, but I would suggest editing the dialogue tags. "He" doesn't need to be capitalized in a dialogue tag and use a comma when finishing a sentence in dialogue when you write "he said." If you don't use "he said" then you can close the sentence with a period. Don't use action in a dialogue tag. Make that a seperate sentence
CHARACTERS
3 Brothers, Ben, Joe, and Jack
For using a min. amount of words, there's good characterization. I got a sense of all three brothers and hints into their personality. The characterization is probably the strongest part of the story.
MECHANICS
I would suggest an edit punctutation. I did not spot any spelling mistakes.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
Suggestion as metioned above. I think the ending needs to be defined a little better. It's not enough to leave it up to my imagination as to what the boys find. Give a strong hint what it is. Good luck in your contest.
A little boy who likes to play in the leaves gets in trouble.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the descriptions. They had a nice balance to them and I could picture the setting of the story easily.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the 1st person by a witness to the scene. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There is none. The story is most told through a "telling" perspective. If anything, I would try to incorporate some dialogue and use more of a "showing" perspective.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes. There were no e\uneven or choppy sentences.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. A nice heartwarming read.
Hello, it's StephBee with a review from Show Off Your Best at the Sandbox.
THE STORY
A psychological horror where a woman learns her best friend isn't quite so nice.
WHAT I LIKED
Great ending. I was totally convinced Greg was a good guy.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by Deb. Good job with POV narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the story forward. If anything, just watch out for the dialogue tags. Put any action in a separate sentence. For example, as written: "Do you need some water, Deb?" Greg asked, after I was finished meeting everyone.
My suggestion: I finished talking to all the guests. Greg approached. "Do you need any water, Deb?"
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scene, but you could expand on this if you wanted. Touch upon the five scenes. Smell is a great one to incorporate into the story.
1ST 3 PARAGRAPHS
They got my attention. Good voice.
CHARACTERS
Deb (main)
Deb comes across well and it's easy to identify with her plight.
MECHANICS
I might suggest a minor edit for punctutation. I did not spot any spelling mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
Suggestions as mentioned above. A tight story. The story fit the prompt of the contest (horror) and the word count was listed in accordance with the contest rules. Good luck in the contest.
A busy mom finds some "golden" rings along the way.
WHAT I LIKED
I thought the author did a great job capturing how the holidays can be rewarding, yet overwhelming at the same time.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by Janet. Good job with POV narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the story forward.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scene, but you could expand on this if you wanted. How does the house smell like? Gingerbread houses? I think by describing just a little bit the condition of the house and the holiday smells, you can really put the reader in the scene.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences. If anything, just check "sweet heart" I think it's supposed to be one word.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
Suggestions as mentioned above. I liked how the rings were woven into the story. Keep writing.
Hello, it's StephBee with a review for Show Off Your Best
THE STORY
The author is a writer who is unnerved when the word "Wilfred" appears on his computer screen.
WHAT I LIKED
It was a an interesting plot. The story kept my attention. I wanted to find out what was going to happen. The ending was great.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
The story is told in the 1st person by the narrator. Good job with POV Narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the plot forward. The dialogue also incorporates an accent which I thought was well done.
CHARACTERS
Narrator, (main)
I don't recall if the narrator had a name, I usually underline if I find it, but I thought his character was interesting. He was a writer who tried the solve the mystery of Wilfed. The steps he went through seemed logical to me.
1ST 3 PARAGRAPHS
A good opening. It intrigued me.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes. Check this: "he said as He handed the paper to me." I think you might be misting a period, looks like a typo.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
I have no suggestions for improvement,maybe just a quick edit for punctuation? A good, solid horror story. I might submitting to the Writer's Digest Pop Fiction Contest. The story fit the prompt for this month (horror), and the word could was listed. Good luck in the Show Off Your Best Contest.
Hello, it's StephBee with a review for Show Off Your Best
THE STORY
A horror writer commits a murder with a pen and the pen comes back to haunt him.
WHAT I LIKED
A lot of things came together with this story. The plot and pacing where perfect!
POV NARRATION/TENSE
The story is told in the 3rd person limited by Cameron. Good job with POV Narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the plot forward.
CHARACTERS
Cameron, (main)
Cameron is a killer and I thought you captured the "mentality" of his character well. What makes is horror is that he has no regrets.
1ST 3 PARAGRAPHS
They grabbed my attention immediately. A good opening.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
I have no suggestions for improvement. As usual, a stand-up horror story from you, Bill. The story fit the prompt for this month (horror), however I didn't see a word count listed. Good luck in the Show Off Your Best Contest.
Hello, this is StephBee with a review for the Best of the Rest Contest.
THE FORUM
A contest that focuses on tragic poetry.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the theme of the poetry contest. Everyone can touch upon a tragedy in their lives to write a poem. There appeared to be a lot of WDC Community participation which I like to see.
THE RULES
The rules were easy to understand.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Good use of WDC ML. If anything, I might suggest using a graphic to "augment" the tone of the contest. Just a suggestion, nothing more. Two Good luck in the Best of the Rest Contest.
A relationship quietly falls apart when the husband is deployed to Iraq.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the snapshot of how the war quietly, yet effectively affected the couple.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person limited, mainly from the girl's perspective. Good job with POV Narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DESCRIPTION
There's enough to set the scene and describe the emotions.
DIALOGUE
There's no dialogue. My suggestion here would be to show us some dialogue and show the reader more of their relationship in a dynamic way. Narration by itself tends to tell more to the reader and you want to balance dialogue and narration to show the reader more.
CHARACTERS
Wife, (main)
We see how the man's departure plays havoc on the woman's emotions. It's a downhill spiral. The character is dynamic and changing.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. A good emotional read.
The folder houses the author's drama short stories.
WHAT I LIKED
The folder was well organized.
INTRODUCTION
The introduction sets a nice tone for what to expect in the folder. If anything, I might suggest using a graphic as well. Graphics help to catch a potential reader's eye.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes in the introduction. There were no uneven or choppy sentences.
SUGGESTIONS/PARTING THOUGHTS
Suggestion as mentioned above. Good title - appealing to a potential reader.
A lecturer images what was behind a scene painted on a cave wall.
WHAT I LIKED
Great mechanics. The story has a very rhythmic flow to it. The ending is perfect for the story.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
The story is told in the third person omniscient. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There is no dialogue.
CHARACTERS
Cloud Reader (main)
We learn a lot about Cloud Reader and his culture.
DESCRIPTIONS
The descriptions are "spot on." They aren't overwhelming, but allow the reader to paint a scene in their mind. I especially liked: "dark toothless gums."
1ST THREE PARAGRAPHS
Cloud Reader is dancing in front of the fire. The action of the dance drew me in as a reader. Perfect.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. A read that makes the reader think. Two
Elspeth unintentionally witnesses the murder of Thomas Becket.
WHAT I LIKED
I love historical fiction so I was drawn to the story. The style is easy to read and follow along.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
The story is told in the third person mainly from Elspeth's perspective. Good job with POV narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There was a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moved the story forward.
CHARACTERS
Elspeth (main)
Elspeth is a dynamic character who changes after witnessing the murder. She loses her innocence. The story captures a good balance between being plot vs character driven.
DESCRIPTIONS
If anything, I thought you could expand on the descriptions. Paint the scenes using the five scenes. Make me feel surrounded by the cold stones of the church just like Thomas Becket was. The metaphorical descriptions were good when you used them. I especially liked: "A sudden rebellion arose in her breast."
1ST THREE PARAGRAPHS
While not action filled, the brief glimpse of Elspeth's character caught my attention and held it.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctutation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. If anything, the ending left me a little hanging. I wanted to know why Elspeth didn't marry him. It was just a little abrupt.
Keep writing!
** Image ID #1284499 Unavailable **
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/sgcardin/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/32
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.75 seconds at 6:46am on Jul 01, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
THE ARTICLE
WHAT I LIKED
