Riot's (riot) Reviews

Riot

Review Requests: OFF

1,559 Public Reviews Given

2,107 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

My reviews typically cover: initial responses, technicalities and mechanics, favorite parts, areas of improvement, and overall impression.

I'm good at...

Honesty, and finding what works versus what doesn't work. I will never give you a rating I don't think your work deserves. I am also particularly good at spotting grammatical errors and typos.

Favorite Genres

Philosophy, Steampunk, Horror, Dark, Emotional, Science Fiction, Technology, and Political Science. I'm sure there are more that I'm missing.

Least Favorite Genres

Romance, Western, Religious, and anything froufrou.

I will not review...

Chapters and Novels, unless arrangements are made prior.

501

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14 days may be credited.

#3097051

Review of The Child

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Child"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like this title and caption. It makes me wonder what you have to say in your poem.

Style/Imagery: I feel your voice in this, strong and bold, raising valid questions. Cynical, sure, but definitely valid and true.

Word Choice: I don't think you could've done a better job wording this. You could've decided to be delicate, but your forth-right questions hit home as they should.

Structure and Form: Great free-verse.

Overall: I especially loved this poem, and genuinely liked the ending. I wanted to shout "GOOD FOR YOU!" - Keep up the excellent writing.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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502

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#3097041

Review of The American Christ

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The American Christ"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Well, it's to the point. I think you need to change the caption though. Your title already says it's about America. You don't need to hammer that in, you're poem does this itself.

Style/Imagery: Well, I felt a lot of hate and blood.

Word Choice: Hate, Blood, War. Halleluiah!

Structure and Form: For a free-verse, it was alright. I felt you had a flow going, if it not a bit repetitive.

Overall: I guess this wasn't really my cup of tea. I know where you were trying to go with it, but I can't help but feel you also missed a lot of other aspects of America. Maybe it was intentional, but it was a little too much for my own personal taste. I don't think I mind so much the critic nature of the poem against America, as I do so much that I felt it was just over the top. However, that being said, I still think you did a good job. Keep up the writing.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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503

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#3097027

Review of Not So Happily Ever After

Review by Riot

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Not So Happily Ever After"

submission to "Invalid Item"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: This is an appropriate title for the plot.

Style & Voice: I very much like the way you presented this story. It never lost my interest once.

Scene/Setting: Often times in flash fiction the setting is overlooked. However, because of the way you presented it and briefly mentioned it throughout the story I didn't feel a need for more.

Characters: I loved the characters. I felt sorry for Gretel and despised the old hag.

Technical: I couldn't find anything technically wrong with this.

Overall Opinion: I really liked this story, it was a great read. I especially liked the witch's spell. What has been taken must be replaced, a new tale written for one erased. A price to be paid for this dire sin, succumb to the darkness that lives within.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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504

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#3097024

Review of Three Little Pigs and The Big Bad Wolf

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Three Little Pigs and The Big Bad Wolf"

submission to "Invalid Item"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: The title's great.

Style & Voice: I love how you narrate this. I wasn't expecting this, at all! At first I almost groaned out loud, but I don't think you could've done it any better.

Scene/Setting: You didn't need to describe the setting much, because the whole scene made up for it.

Characters: The Big Bad Wolf is hilarious. I just love how he tells us the real truth behind this story.

Technical: I couldn't find anything technically wrong with this piece.

Overall Opinion: I really loved this interesting twist. It made me laugh out loud really hard at the end. Especially the "King of Faraway Land" -- great job!

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505

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#3097020

Review of The Wardrobe Determined Destiny

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Wardrobe Determined Destiny"

submission to "Invalid Item"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I love this title, especially given the content.

Style & Voice: I really liked how you presented this story. I felt like you really were telling me a bed-time story.

Scene/Setting: Because this is flash, the setting usually gets lost. While you didn't overly describe it, I still had a sense of where I was and in what time I was.

Characters: Ah, naive Cinderella. How I pity her in this rendition of the story.

Technical: I could find nothing wrong with this technically and think you did a great job with grammar, punctuation and spelling.

Overall Opinion: Great job on this! I knew it was about Cinderella, and I had guessed an ending, but I was completely wrong. I love it!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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506

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#3096476

Review of Do Not Enter

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Do Not Enter"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Do Not Enter is perfect in every way. Not only because of the content, because it makes you want to enter anyway! Like a big red button that says Don't push...

Style/Imagery: What an eerie poem, I absolutely love the story you told here. I feel like you have a unique gift of expressing these feelings.

Word Choice: My favorite stanza is 4, but some other word choices I enjoyed were: pleasant not, spread sunshine, tortured chamber, and silent demons.

Structure and Form: I love the light rhyming here, and the flow is 'dead on' if I may say.

Overall: Changing anything about this would not do your poem justice. Keep it like it is! Thank you for sharing your wonderful poetry with me today.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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507

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#3096455

Review of Victim

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Victim"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I couldn't think of a better title for this short poem.

Style/Imagery: I love the imagery. In just a few words you've captured it well.

Word Choice: dark-red nails and shrouded in darkness and mist are the words that strike me the most.

Structure and Form: I see nothing wrong with this and thought the flow was great. The only thing I noticed was viley should be vilely.

Overall: You can't go wrong with vampires. I love this poem a lot. Thank you for sharing it with us!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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508

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#3096447

Review of Over my Head

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Over my Head"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Hmm.... I'm not sure about this title. I think I know where you're coming from with it, but...

Style/Imagery: I can almost feel the darkness creeping over my head too. Nice.

Word Choice: I think you did a good job at picking out your words for this short poem.

Structure and Form: I particularly like the couplet. The only thing I have to say is that it feels like there should be more. I wonder how this would turn out if you added just a few more lines.

Overall: Great job, and keep up the good work. I enjoyed reading this.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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509

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#3096419

Review of Redeemed

Review by Riot

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Redeemed"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: Nice title.

Style/Imagery: I think you did a good job with the imagery here. You could've been over the top gruesome, but you weren't. It was just enough to be creepy.

Scene/Setting: I liked the scenery, from the house to the wood to the dock. While they weren't overly descriptive, we still got a taste of just enough. (I especially liked the roots.)

Characters: Again, without being overly descriptive you gave me just enough. To hate the alcoholic and feel sorry for his victim, daughter.

Technical: I couldn't find anything wrong with this short story.

Overall Opinion: Thanks for sharing this with us, it was pretty creepy! I didn't lose interest at any point.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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510

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#3096283

Review of The Insect Queen

Review by Riot

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Insect Queen"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I like the name of the story, and think the plot is pretty good. It almost seemed like a bed-time scary story for children. Not too creepy really.

Style & Voice: Some words in particular I liked were: balmy zephyr, atavistic fear,

Technical:
What are lollopy paws?
When the magpie looks at her, I'd like to see more description of that dreadful feeling she had.

Overall Opinion: I thought this was a pretty good read. With some fleshing out, this could make a wonderfully eerie story. Keep up the good work.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item" !

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511

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#3096239

Review of Light in the Dark

Review by Riot

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Light in the Dark"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title of this poem and think it is fitting to the piece.

Style and Voice: Your voice clearly shows through in this well thought out poem. A bit eerie, but appropriately so.

Word Choice: Some word combinations I especially like are:

silver painted blade

lifeless steel

manipulating the knife

Structure and Form: I felt the structure of this poem was well done. I couldn't find a meter or flow, but I had no problem reading it.

Imagery: It's dark, it's dark... No, I tease. Not only have you described darkness but you've described it in many ways. From the frozen fingers and lifeless steel to the emotional darkness and empty feelings, all the way to the numb unfeeling.

Overall: Pretty creep poem. I really loved it! Also, HAPPY WDC BIRTHDAY! *throws black confetti*

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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512

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#3096217

Review of Response to Septembr 11, 2001

Review by Riot

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Response to Septembr 11, 2001"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I know where the title comes from, but it seems more factual than anything. Maybe instead I'd use simply Response or Terror. Perhaps even just Hate.

Style and Voice: I like how you tell this story. The imagery is great, without getting too explicit.

Word Choice: Some word phrases I thought were strong points:

listen to His voice, there you will find no lies

precious blood shed

Structure and Form: I can see where the last two lines rhyme, but I'm unsure of the flow. Some of the words seem a bit clunky, but that can easily be fixed with minor rewording. You can tell where the flows is broken by reading it out loud.

Overall: Overall I felt this was a powerful poem. It brought me back to the day this sad incident happened. Never forget.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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513

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#3096143

Review of Phantasm

Review by Riot

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Phantasm"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Y'gotta love the title. It's a great word in itself.

Word Choice: Some words in particular that struck me about this poem were: veiled words, Melting wine-dreams and convictions. I especially liked the repeating of 'Stranger' and 'Danger' near the end.

Structure and Form: What an interesting free-verse I found this to be. They almost sounded like lyrics, even.

Overall: I really liked everything about this. Thank you for sharing it with us, and Happy WDC Anniversary.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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514

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#3096073

Review of Each and Every Day

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Each and Every Day"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title's what got me coming to this poem. After reading the piece, I couldn't think of anything better to name it.

Word Choice: I really love how you worded this. It's simple, but to the point, and paints the big picture.

Structure and Form: I love the light rhyming, with the second and fourth lines in each stanza. I have no critique to offer on the rhyming or flow.

Overall: This is well deserving of its beautiful ribbon. It's a very sweet poem, thank you for sharing it with us!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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515

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#3095422

Review of Darker Than Black

Review by Riot

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Darker Than Black"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the name of the folder. I'm sad there's nothing in it!

Style/Imagery: I like the simplicity of this poem.

Word Choice: The fact that you didn't clutter this with unnecessary words made it all the more better.

Structure and Form: I could find nothing wrong with this except one tiny little spelling error:

Imersed

Immersed

Overall: I thought it was all kinds of awesome. Thank you for sharing this with us, and HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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516

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#3095408

Review of Hunting Spirits

Review by Riot

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Hunting Spirits"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like this title.

Style/Imagery: I really liked the imagery in this poem. I felt like I was in a long hallway with a flickering candle, hearing a wolf in the distance. Then, as the story turns, I get goosebumps on my arm from the eerie atmosphere. Deliciously haunted!

Word Choice: Some words that stuck out to me, besides the highlighted words, were: sought adventure, fearful guest, keep your terror under lock, picturesque and morbid sin.

Structure and Form: I love the rhyming and couplet form. You did a very good job with this!

Overall: Excellent. I can't find a single thing to change or add. This piece is perfect. HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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517

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#3095399

Review of Voodoo Madness

Review by Riot

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Voodoo Madness"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I love this title, a lot!

Word Choice: I really like the wording in this. Some of my favorite words are wicked power, Mirror reflections of slander and greed, Ceremonial spell, conjuring revenge, Gulp, greedily my special brew... All of these stick out to me and hold special meaning to the poem.

Structure and Form: I can find nothing with this poem that I would change or alter. I think it is perfect the way it is.

Overall: This is totally great! I can't see anything about it that I'd change. I had to read it three times I liked it so much. Thank you for sharing this with us, and HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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518

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#3095343

Review of Love Transparent

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Love Transparent"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title. I don't usually say this, but I think it follows your voice and style even.

Style and Voice: I like the simplicity of your words, but the depth that ensues is great.

Word Choice: Some word choices I liked in particular were:

Truth uncolored

look through a frame

trapped in our heads

Structure and Form: I like how you've done this free-verse. While even the syllables don't line up per line, I still felt it had great flow. I find this rare in my own opinion. Great job.

Imagery: I enjoyed the imagery in this piece. The desire, baring souls, finding strength, understanding.

Overall: Great job, keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

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519

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#3095113

Review of Loving Grace

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Loving Grace"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I think this title works. Some alternatives I can think of are Love and Grace or even just Grace.

Style and Voice: I like how this poem tells a story of saving grace.

Word Choice/Imagery: I cannot find one specific thing I like about this poem, the whole thing is really good. I think the last stanza is the strongest.

Overall: While this poem is not my cup of tea, I really like how you've presented it. The fact that it's almost a prayer is even better. HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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520

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#3095094

Review of Starbeams on Tulsa

Review by Riot

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Starbeams on Tulsa"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title has drawn me into even more of your delightful reads.

Style and Voice: If I haven't said it in one of my last reviews for you, you have a wonderful gift of story telling and piecing together just the right words.

Word Choice/Imagery: I love the first line. It reminds me of stargazing with my dad in Montana as we looked up to the velvety sky and count shooting stars as they disappeared behind the glare of the moon.

Overall: I'm so delighted that I've had the chance to read some of the things in your port today. Thank you for putting a smile on my face more than once. HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY, once again.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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521

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#3095092

Review of Wheat penny

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Wheat penny"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Oh what's going to be written about a simple Wheat Penny? Well we definitely find out.

Style and Voice: I just love how you talk about this penny. It takes a talented writer to create something so interesting out of a seemingly ordinary thing.

Word Choice/Imagery: I like how you describe the bread of life, and the wheat blowing in the wind. Paltry cent in particular struck me.

Structure and Form: I can see no errors in this poem, and can find nothing to improve upon. Excellent poem.

Overall: Don't change a thing, I love this how it is. Thank you for sharing it with us, and HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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522

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#3095088

Review of Speak soft my name

Review by Riot

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Speak soft my name"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title of this poem. It gets me wondering what it's about. I would've never guessed though, and I'm pleasantly surprised.

Style and Voice: I love your style here. I don't think I've ever seen the words split up in the manner you've presented. tsu...

Word Choice: Some words in particular I loved:

in the core, where once Earth bore

onward in a race to greet the shore.

Structure and Form: I love how you've divvied up this poem. I cannot find a specific rhyme, but the flow of this story is thrilling.

Imagery: Is that what a tsunami is? I suppose you're right. This life-like spirit looking to quench it's thirst? I love the imagery.

Overall: I cannot think of anything to add to improve this poem. It's very well deserving of the ribbon it has. Thank you so much for sharing with us all this lovely poetry. HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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523

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#3095049

Review of I COME TO YOU

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "I COME TO YOU"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title, but not all capitalized.

Style and Voice: I definitely feel your voice showing through with this poem.

Word Choice: Some word phrases I liked in particular:

a whisper to stir the summer leaves

tears guarding your pain

I come to you when shadows surround

Structure and Form: I liked the couplet form in this poem and cannot see any room for improvement.

Overall: Great poem, and HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

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Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

524

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14 days may be credited.

#3095041

Review of Paint The Sky

Review by Riot

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Paint The Sky"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I love this title, a lot. It gets me interested in the poem immediately. I cannot think of anything better to name this piece.

Style and Voice: Exquisite. I love how your voice rings throughout this poem.

Word Choice: Some words in particular I loved:

With colors dripping, I swipe

The wet globs grow and diffuse

a tranquil sea of oblivion

a golden ember burning in death

Structure and Form: I cannot find anything about this free-verse poem that I dislike. Awesome job.

Imagery: I can just imagine, standing before a canvas as I have many times. Thank you for bringing up fond memories for me.

Overall: It's perfect how it is, don't change a thing. HAPPY WDC ANNIVERSARY!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

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Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

525

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3094992

Review of the mirror

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "the mirror"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Besides from being properly capitalized, I can't find anything wrong with this title or theme.

Style and Voice: I read and re-read this poem. I feel like a desperate part of you is posing some very valid questions we all eventually face and feel at some point or another.

Word Choice: I liked some word phrases:

red puckered against my tan flesh

running mind

nervous sweat breaks out

Structure and Form: This was an interesting free-verse. Because each line is actually a sentence, I'm wondering if you really need all the periods at the end. My only other comment would be to watch your punctuation within words, as you're missing a lot of apostrophes.

Imagery: The imagery was not only that of what was in this poem, but what was insinuated.

Overall: With a bit of work, I think this piece would speak to me more. I enjoyed the read though, and think you're on to something. Keep writing!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!