Riot's (riot) Reviews

Riot

Review Requests: OFF

1,559 Public Reviews Given

2,107 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

My reviews typically cover: initial responses, technicalities and mechanics, favorite parts, areas of improvement, and overall impression.

I'm good at...

Honesty, and finding what works versus what doesn't work. I will never give you a rating I don't think your work deserves. I am also particularly good at spotting grammatical errors and typos.

Favorite Genres

Philosophy, Steampunk, Horror, Dark, Emotional, Science Fiction, Technology, and Political Science. I'm sure there are more that I'm missing.

Least Favorite Genres

Romance, Western, Religious, and anything froufrou.

I will not review...

Chapters and Novels, unless arrangements are made prior.

476

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3098821

Review of Welcome to Earth

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Welcome to Earth"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: Great title. It got me interested in what it's all about. Who was coming to earth? Were they friendly? Hostile? Something else? (Definitely have the taste of hostility personally, lately.)

Style & Voice: The ending was hilarious. It was definitely not what I expected!

Scene/Setting: Great scene. I can't find any places to improve upon this. You did well with this 55 worder.

Overall Opinion: Don't change a thing! It's hilarious how it is. Great job!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

477

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#3098816

Review of A Woman Scorned

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "A Woman Scorned"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I think this title's fitting to this short piece.

Style & Voice: You raise a lot of valid questions. I felt like I could sympathize with your character.

Scene/Setting: While it wasn't implied, I felt like I was sitting in a stuffy court-room awaiting a trail. Wow, reminds me of a recent email I got. I gotta stop 'cheating' on my reviews!

Technical: I couldn't find anything technically wrong with this.

Overall Opinion: I can't find any room for improvement, great job!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

478

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14 days may be credited.

#3098381

Review of My shooting star

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "My shooting star"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title, but it needs proper capitalization. My Shooting Star

Style/Imagery: I love shooting stars. This reminded me of how I used to sit in the street (it was a dead end street) at my mom's place and watch stars for hours and hours.

Word Choice: Great job here.

Structure and Form: The dashes could use without. I think your poem is strong without them. I might consider putting in different punctuation at the end of the lines, and perhaps capitalizing others.

Overall: Overall I felt this was a really good piece. Thank you for sharing it and bringing back fond memories for me.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

479

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14 days may be credited.

#3098370

Review of One More Important Call, Down the Toilet

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "One More Important Call, Down the Toilet"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Tldr; just kidding. It is a bit long though.

Style/Imagery: Oh jeesh, funny! I laughed out loud at this.

Word Choice: Great! Spot on. I loved that it was all dialogue, too.

Structure and Form: Only minor thing I spotted, there should be a comma...
fumbled with it, then... splash!

Overall: This is great! Thank you for making me laugh so hard this early (late) in the morning. It's perfect!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

480

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14 days may be credited.

#3098369

Review of The Date

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (3.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Date"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: It is what it is. ;)

Style/Imagery: Interesting imagery, from a man's point of view.

Structure and Form: I couldn't find anything wrong, technically. The only thing I can think of is to kill the triple dot break in the second paragraph.

Overall: It could be the time of night, but I feel like I was missing out on some sort of joke. Saleswoman?

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

481

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14 days may be credited.

#3098367

Review of Mandy's Secret

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (3.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Mandy's Secret"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Hmm... wonder what her secret is...?

Word Choice: I thought the words were alright. Nothing particularly caught my interested though.

Structure and Form: The only comment I have, is to watch out on your commas and periods. You have them a bit mixed up.

secret.

Please.

Fine,

Yup,

Overall: Overall, I thought this was an okay read. 55 worders are really tough. Props for trying, and actually having it make sense!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

482

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14 days may be credited.

#3098358

Review of The lair

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The lair"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: The title seems fitting, but should be properly capitalized. The Lair.

Style/Imagery: Ewww, creepy! The imagery is definitely twisted. I LOVE.

Word Choice: I like your word choices here. Some that struck me in particular: twisted smile, dread shackled him to the chair, and writhed in agony. You can't go wrong with the last one.

Structure and Form: All's good. Except one tiny little comma missing after the dialogue. And, the spelling error. immunisations

should be immunizations

Overall: Overall, I thought this was a pretty amusing read. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

483

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14 days may be credited.

#3098355

Review of Out of Control

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Out of Control"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Good title, but kill the caps. ;)

Style/Imagery: I like the imagery and style here.

Word Choice: I loved the way you described the blood in the first sentence, great job.

Structure and Form: I could find nothing technically out of place with this piece.

Overall: Haha! I wasn't expecting that ending. That was really a hoot! Don't change a thing about this, it's perfect in its entirety.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

484

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14 days may be credited.

#3098347

Review of Game 7

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Game 7"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I like the title, but I think you should spell out 7. Game Seven? Maybe?

Style & Voice: It almost sounded like you were announcing this on a radio, or something.

Scene/Setting: Not really applicable, though I think the 'scene' was told pretty well.

Technical: I could find no errors, though I think what may have helped flesh this 55 worder out was by breaking up the sentences a little better.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I thought you did a pretty good job with this. 55 worders are really tough!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

485

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#3098345

Review of Closed Track

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Closed Track"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I don't mind the title, but I think you ought to kill the caps lock on it.

Style & Voice: I liked the imagery and style in this piece. Creepy!

Technical: I could find nothing technically wrong with this. I think it's a good 55 worder.

Overall Opinion: These are really hard to write. I think you did a pretty good job! Keep up the great work.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

486

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14 days may be credited.

#3098343

Review of Elissa

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Elissa"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I don't like titles where it's the name of the character or characters in the story. Just my thing.

Style & Voice: I thought it was descriptive, but I didn't really get a good feel. It's a 55 worder, though.

Scene/Setting: The scenery was well described, as well as it could be.

Technical: There was nothing technically I could find wrong with this piece.

Overall Opinion: These are very hard to write, thank you for posting it.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

487

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#3097914

Review of Dill Pickles and Buttermilk

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Dill Pickles and Buttermilk"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title was amusing, and had me chuckling before I even read the poem.

Style/Imagery: The combinations you present in this are quite disgusting! Banana and pickle, Sauerkraut and pickles... ewwwww! I don't much like pickles, though. ;)

Structure and Form: Your rhyming and rhythm here are just great. It was cute and to the point.

Overall: Don't change a thing! Despite me disliking pickles, I still really loved this poem.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

488

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14 days may be credited.

#3097909

Review of What's The Matter With Henry?

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "What's The Matter With Henry?"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title instantly got me sucked in. What is the matter with Henry?!

Style/Imagery: I love this. How he dances around, how you described the scene.

Word Choice: You couldn't have done better.

Structure and Form: This is just spot on. I cannot find any room for any improvements!

Overall: Another perfect poem, from my now favorite children's poet.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

489

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#3097904

Review of Momma Left Me All Alone

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Momma Left Me All Alone"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Well, I wasn't expecting that!

Style/Imagery: I love the imagery and style you have here. It kept me in suspense all the way to the end. Hilarious ending, by the way.

Structure and Form: I thought the flow and structure of this was great. I cannot offer and room for improvement. Even the syllabic count was superb.

Overall: Great poem, I loved every bit of it! You have a real knack for children's poetry.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

490

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14 days may be credited.

#3097898

Review of What To Do With A Basketball That's Flat

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "What To Do With A Basketball That's Flat"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title instantly drew me in, as I wondered what the poem could possibly be about. I never knew of much uses before this.

Style/Imagery: The imagery in this is absolutely wonderful; perfect for a children's poem.

Word Choice: Haha, I couldn't begin to pick one thing from this. It's all so awesome.

Structure and Form: I love the structure, how you repeated "that was terribly flat" in the second line of each, until the last stanza. Excellent.

Overall: Don't change a thing. I liked this so much, I had to read it out loud to my hubby. We both shared in laughing, this was so adorable.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

491

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14 days may be credited.

#3097848

Review of ~ Distortion

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "~ Distortion"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the name of the title, and after reading the poem, have nothing better to suggest.

Style/Imagery: I love the imagery in this, how you describe death as a shield from the light, how it betrayed you, and made you inhuman.

Word Choice: A lot of words stuck out to me: empathy shatters, demented kindness, and puking flesh.

Structure and Form: I like the flow, and everything else. But in the last line, when you said intangled, did you mean entangled?

Overall: Overall I really enjoyed this dark and twisted read. Thanks for sharing it with us!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store. Pick up your unique signature today!

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#1568249 by Not Available.

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Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

492

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14 days may be credited.

#3097844

Review of My Copper Lantern

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "My Copper Lantern"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title definitely got me curious to see what your poem would be about.

Style/Imagery: Love the style. I almost feel like I can see the copper lantern amongst the darkness.

Word Choice: I loved your wording. I have just one question though. In line 2 of the first stanza, you have scaring. Did you mean scarring?

Structure and Form: I really love how you've started each line with a new letter of COPPER LANTERN. That's just awesome.

Overall: Great poem, I really liked this. You did a really good job!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store. Pick up your unique signature today!

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#1568249 by Not Available.

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Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

493

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14 days may be credited.

#3097830

Review of Beside Quiet Waters

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Beside Quiet Waters"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I really like this title!

Style/Imagery: The imagery and style within this poem is wonderful. I feel like I'm laying in the pasture, watching the clouds move 'on high', letting my soul free.

Word Choice: Your word choices once again were just immaculate. I couldn't do a better job even if I tried. Some words are just meant to flow together, and you've captured it in this poem.

Structure and Form: I like how you've taken the time to explain this form to us. For someone who actually pays attention to this I heartily thank you.

Overall: For the second time, I give you a 5 star rating. How incredibly rare this is for me to find someone who not only dazzles me once, but twice. Great job!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store. Pick up your unique signature today!

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#1568249 by Not Available.

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Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

494

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14 days may be credited.

#3097829

Review of Three Billy Goats Yum!

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Three Billy Goats Yum!"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title makes me chuckle, even before reading the poem.

Style/Imagery: I really like how you've presented this story. I feel like you're reading it out loud to me!

Word Choice: I really like the word choices in here. What especially struck me: eyes ablaze, fearsome trolls, shadows lengthen, tasty treats and traipse.

Structure and Form: I think you do an absolutely spot on job with this form. Your flow is great.

Overall: I have nothing to offer in the way of criticism. Don't change a thing! Thanks for sharing.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store. Pick up your unique signature today!

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#1568249 by Not Available.

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Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

495

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14 days may be credited.

#3097231

Review of Season of Hauntings

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Season of Hauntings"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I love this title. Perfect.

Style/Imagery: I love the imagery in this. From the grave-images to zombies rising and vampires out to suck your blood.

Word Choice: Great word choice. I couldn't have picked 'em better myself.

Structure and Form: Great free-verse, I like how it flowed. My only question would be, what's with the exclamation point in the center of the 5th line up from the end? I'd say kill that, or don't put the comma in front of it.

Overall: I enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing it with us. I imagine that a lot of children would probably find this poem a bit creepy and fun to read.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store. Pick up your unique signature today!

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#1568249 by Not Available.

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Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

496

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14 days may be credited.

#3097205

Review of The pain inside

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The pain inside"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title, but it needs proper capitalization. The Pain Inside

Style/Imagery: I can really feel for you. I feel the anxiety of dealing with someone who's depressed and scared, and really feel like you're genuinely concerned for the person you're writing about.

Structure and Form: I think your structure and flow were good, but near the end I think you got a little sloppy with proper capitalization.

Overall: With some improvement, I think this poem would flow much better. Other than that I enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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Invalid Item

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#1568249 by Not Available.

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497

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#3097204

Review of Poe

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Poe"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I love this title and I immediately know where you're going with the poem.

Style/Imagery: I adore the imagery in this. From the bird and owner (companion maybe?) to sitting in the house with a bottle, to writing like a mad-man.

Word Choice: I can't just pick one place, but I think the last two stanzas really put the icing on the cake for me.

Structure and Form: Great free-verse. My only suggestion is to possibly consider adding punctuation at the end of some of the lines. It's not mandatory, however.

Overall: Excellent share. Thank you for posting this!

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Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#1568249 by Not Available.

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Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

498

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14 days may be credited.

#3097156

Review of A Girl

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "A Girl"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I'm unsure of this title. I think I see where you're coming with it, but some more creativity into this well thought out poem might be better suited.

Word Choice: I liked the words in here, but not the manner in which they were presented.

Structure and Form: Honestly, I know this is a free-verse and so meter and rhythm aren't really specialized here, but I feel like I had a hard time getting through this poem. I felt like most of the lines were crowded and ended abruptly. Maybe use of better punctuation could help out with it.

Iraqi should be capitalized in the last line.

When there are questions posed later, you use a question mark at the end, but don't do so in the first stanza.

Overall: With a bit of work I think this has more potential, but right now I'm left thinking "Where's this going?" - The difficulty I had in reading it hindered me from really understanding it to its full potential. However, that being said, I still think it's attention worthy and that you should keep working on it.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

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Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#1568249 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

499

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3097077

Review of Self Destruction

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Self Destruction"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I love the title of this poem.

Word Choice: Some words that struck me in particular were: burn the bridges, self destruct, the impact shakes and cracks the land, and dawning consequences. I also really liked how you ended each stanza the same.

Structure and Form: The only critique I have to offer on this free-verse is to keep an eye on how long some of your lines are, and maybe add in some punctuation at the end of your lines. Also, in the last stanza when you said crys I think you meant cries.

Overall: Overall I felt this was a pretty good read. Thank you for sharing it with us.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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500

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3097059

Review of The Looking Glass

Review by Riot

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Looking Glass"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I wasn't sure what to make of the title. After reading it, I'm still unsure.

Style & Voice: I think you tell an interesting perspective story here. I definitely wasn't expecting that ending.

Characters: While you didn't reveal a lot about the characters, I still felt like I knew them in a sense. Great job.

Technical: There was nothing I could find wrong with the technicalities of this piece. Some words that struck me were: Djinn, lovesick puppy and expertly mixing.

Overall Opinion: Great twisted story! Keep up the excellent work. I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

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Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!