Riot's (riot) Reviews

Riot

Review Requests: OFF

1,559 Public Reviews Given

2,107 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

My reviews typically cover: initial responses, technicalities and mechanics, favorite parts, areas of improvement, and overall impression.

I'm good at...

Honesty, and finding what works versus what doesn't work. I will never give you a rating I don't think your work deserves. I am also particularly good at spotting grammatical errors and typos.

Favorite Genres

Philosophy, Steampunk, Horror, Dark, Emotional, Science Fiction, Technology, and Political Science. I'm sure there are more that I'm missing.

Least Favorite Genres

Romance, Western, Religious, and anything froufrou.

I will not review...

Chapters and Novels, unless arrangements are made prior.

576

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3082339

Review of Insanely Happy

Review by Riot

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This review is in response to your entry "Insanely Happy"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: This was deliciously worded. I am absolutely amazed at just how much I enjoyed it.

Favorite Part: My favorite part was the third stanza, though I'd have to say that is a tough choice. The reason I think this one is my favorite is because of the last line. I don't normally relish in watching others get kicked down a knotch but I must say that there is someone I do know who I wish I could watch fall--it's this guilty pleasure I guess, right?

Technical: There was nothing technically wrong that I could find.

Overall: This was a wonderfully well written poem. In fact, I think this is one of the best I've ever read. It describes revenge perfectly, and that sort of insane, if you will, feeling you get when someone has driven you that mad. Thank you for sharing this with us, you've got me hooked.

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Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

577

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14 days may be credited.

#3082048

Review of Confrontation

Review by Riot

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This review is in response to your item "Confrontation"

that you submitted into "Invalid Item"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: Outstanding dialogue.

Favorite Part: The entire thing was extremely well written. I had a hard time prying my eyes from the screen.

Technical: Nothing technically wrong that I could find.

Overall: Congratulations on first place. You deserved the awardicon and I look forward to reading more entries into the contest. Keep up the excellent dialogue.

I look forward to reading more of your submissions into the contest.

578

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14 days may be credited.

#3082016

Review of Hilly Chile or Voo-Doo Willy

Review by Riot

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a Simply Positive Review for your item "Hilly Chile or Voo-Doo Willy"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: Hah!

Favorite Part: The second stanza.

Technical: There was nothing wrong that I could see.

Overall: Great!

Good luck! Keep writing!

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579

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14 days may be credited.

#3082007

Review of The Scream

Review by Riot

Rated: 18+

| (3.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a Simply Positive Review for your item "The Scream"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: Interesting.

Technical: There was nothing technically wrong that I could see.

Overall: It was pretty good.

Good luck! Keep writing!

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580

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14 days may be credited.

#3081632

Review of A Twisted Argument

Review by Riot

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This review is in response to your item "A Twisted Argument"

that you submitted into "Invalid Item"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: I liked the how this argumentive dialogue came from an unsuspecting every day sort of fight. Parents arguing over bills is pretty typical.

Technical:

Just one small thing. You wrote "You should do everything my ways, not..." -- did you mean 'my way'? My ways doesn't sound right. However, since it is dialogue, it could definitely be the way the speaker is using it. I wanted to point it out anyways just in case you had meant it as a typo.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this dialogue piece with us.

I look forward to reading more of your submissions into the contest.

581

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14 days may be credited.

#3078843

Review of For Sale: Loved One

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a Simply Positive Review for your item "For Sale: Loved One"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: How sad. :(

Favorite Part: The whole thing.

Technical: There was nothing technically wrong with this piece that I saw.

Overall: Very well done. I would be your friend for free! :)

Good luck! Keep writing!

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582

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14 days may be credited.

#3076491

Review of Sink

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a response to your item "Sink"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: Impressive.

Favorite Part:

Sticky twigs close over me
calloused and rough.

Overall:

Good luck! Keep writing!

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583

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3076064

Review of Outsider's Answer

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a response to your item "Outsider's Answer"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: I very much enjoyed the flow. It wasn't what I expected but I was pleasantly surprised.

Favorite Part:

It is not the believer that I criticize
No I do not wish you to apostatize
It is those who's greed and misuse
Has bastardized all the good news
Told you when and where to rejoice

Technical: There was nothing wrong that I could see.

Overall: This is a very moving piece on many levels. Thank you for sharing.

Good luck! Keep writing!

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584

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14 days may be credited.

#3075751

Review of when she appears

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a response to your item "when she appears"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: Highly creative.

Favorite Part:

A mirror faces a mirror
Perfectly empty, sharing nothing
In equal measures

Technical: There was nothing wrong that I could see.

Overall: Great job.

Good luck! Keep writing!

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585

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14 days may be credited.

#3075745

Review of Random Thoughts (Free Writing)

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (3.0)

I always found computers highly distracting. What I ended up doing was buying a Netbook. I promised myself I'd only use it for writing or researching what I was writing. When I wanted to play around or chat, I'd use my main computer. It seemed to help a lot. I am also quite fond of typewriters, personally. But they're heavy and luggish... and hard to maintain over a computer. I still love the rat-tacking of the keys though. :)

Good luck.

586

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14 days may be credited.

#3075735

Review of Valhalla

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a response to your item "Valhalla"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: A small insight to the honor and old ways of the warrior. Well done.

Favorite Part:

The jaguar had tracked the man for miles; seemingly secure in its superiority, the large cat approached with caution, nonetheless. The large man sat cross-legged in the middle of the small clearing with his eyes closed, motionless. He was tall and muscular, with long brown hair tied behind his head and a braid in his beard. He was the prey. The cat could smell the sweat on the man; and, could smell the blood within. There was something strange to the man's scent. The jaguar sniffed to make sure, and then settled into it's crouch. Nothing was going to stop this meal. It leapt.

Technical: Only one question... You said "It leapt." then said after another paragraph that the jaguar leaped. Is he leaping twice, or once? Otherwise I could find nothing wrong with this.

Overall: Excellent insight and emotion. Thank you for sharing.

Good luck! Keep writing!

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587

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14 days may be credited.

#3075717

Review of Wish You Were here

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a response to your item "Wish You Were here"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: Very sad.

Favorite Part:

I rode the one hundred miles
It took to travel where you lay
Walked amongst manicured aisles
Found your home incased in clay.

Technical: -- I think 'incased' is supposed to be 'encased'? Other then that, I do not see anything else.

Overall: 4.5

Good luck! Keep writing!

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588

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14 days may be credited.

#3075711

Review of Hotly Scored

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a response to your item "Hotly Scored"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: Very true, sometimes.

Favorite Part:

Again I reach for your loving hand,
Gone in the flame, I can't comprehend.

Technical: I could see nothing wrong with this.

Overall: Awesome. :)

Good luck! Keep writing!

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589

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14 days may be credited.

#3075706

Review of ~Where Evil Dwells

Review by Riot

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a response to your item "~Where Evil Dwells"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: A delightfully frightening poem.

Favorite Part:

You know where you are, mortal hell on earth,
for this is where evil dwells, putrid affections swell.

Technical: I could find nothing technically wrong with it, though when I was reading it over for a second time I had a bit of a hard time on some of the flow.

Overall: Excellent. And, YAY on your muse returning! How exciting. :)

Good luck! Keep writing!

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590

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14 days may be credited.

#3074558

Review of Gretel and the Witch

Review by Riot

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. I am the judge of "Invalid Item"

and this is my review of your entry into the contest.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all things free you may take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: A remarkable story with an unexpected but delightful ending.

Favorite Part:

The witch trained her hard, cramming the girl’s head with a number of spells and potion recipes. Gretel absorbed it all, and as she learned more and more, she noticed that the graceful beauty was slowly being drained from the witch. The grossly obtuse nose was returning and hard creases formed under the witch’s eyes and on her forehead.

* cackle *

Overall: A wonderful read, to the very last drop. Thank you for sharing.

Good luck! Keep writing! I look forward to more submissions into the contest.

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#1561205 by Not Available.

591

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14 days may be credited.

#3074283

Review of Morning

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a re-review as requested or promise, in response to your entry "Morning"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Technical: The fact that this is now broken into stanzas makes it much better to read and helps with the flow a lot.

Just a little note: All the 'i' instances should be 'I'

Overall: It looks like you're getting better, keep up the good work.

Good luck! Keep writing! I can see from your willingness to revise that you are a serious writer and I am glad I could potentially bring helpful critique to your piece.

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592

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14 days may be credited.

#3073704

Review of LIfe Or Something Like It

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This review is in response to your entry "LIfe Or Something Like It"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: I'd like to see more.

{e:star] Overall: I liked where this was going. You should consider possibly adding more stanzas to it. :))

Good luck! Keep writing!

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593

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14 days may be credited.

#3073688

Review of War of the heart

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This review is in response to your entry "War of the heart"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: Heartbreakingly true.

Favorite Part:

You strip my defenses
No walls left around
Then with a smile and a glance
Once more you cut me down

Technical: There were no technical errors I could see.

Overall: Don't change a thing. :)

Good luck! Keep writing! I look forward to more of you work! :)

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594

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3073662

Review of Morning

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This review is in response to your entry "Morning"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: It needed formatting.

Technical: I can see a lot of potential in this piece. Because it was categorized as poetry I was a little bit confused how it was jumbled into one paragraph, at first. However, as I read it I instantly knew what it was supposed to be, so this is a wonderful sign.

My suggestion to you is to try formatting this. Put spaced breaks where it seems like it should be and keep an eye out on capitalization.

Overall: With a bit of work this piece could be amazing. Please email me if you decide to change it, as I would like to re-read it.

Good luck! Keep writing!

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595

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14 days may be credited.

#3073081

Review of Noise

Review by Riot

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a response to your item "Noise"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: Interesting...

Favorite Part:

You crave noise
to hear
falsehoods
that
drift away
from the truth in
your bottle

Technical: I could find nothing technically wrong with this piece.

Overall: I look forward to reading more of your work!

Good luck! Keep writing!

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596

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3073001

Review of Beneath "The Ice Cream Cone"

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a response to your item "Beneath "The Ice Cream Cone""

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: Delighted. I live in Washington State so I know exactly what you mean.

Favorite Part:

On clear cold winter days
Steam plumes rise from her craters.
Alarming all who live around here;
mindful ever for some warning,

The second line here is excellent and is visually dynamic. Being that I have witnessed this first hand I am impressed by the detail and emotion this stanza evokes.

Technical: Honestly, I didn't care very much for the word flow of this. It seemed choppy. Some of the factual notes seemed forced. For example "we rely on the US Geological Survey"--do those two lines really need to be there? I think the stanza is strong and remarkable without it.

Overall: 3.5 -- This piece has a lot of potential. With a little bit of work, I think it could be remarkable. If you decide to update and edit it, please let me know so that I can re-read it. :)

Good luck! Keep writing!

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597

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3072971

Review of STANDING TALL

Review by Riot

Rated: ASR

| (1.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose. This is a response to your item {item:}.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: Very thought provoking!

Favorite Part:

It takes a lot of courage
For someone to take a stand;
I, for one, would be proud
To shake his hand!

Technical: As always, with poetry, I say to watch out for word flow. However, I felt you did a really good job with this poem. It was long (unusual for a poem) but it conveyed a very good point.

Overall: From stanza one to the last, you kept me reading. Great job, I look forward to seeing more!

Good luck! Keep writing!

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598

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14 days may be credited.

#3071996

Review of Lunar Beauty

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: How true!

Creativity: Highly creative. Everyone writes about its perfection and beauty, but you put a new spin on it while still find it alluring.

Technical: I could find no technical problems with this.

Overall: If it wasn't written for bite-sized poetry I highly recommending submitting it. However, I suspect it was. Great work.

Good luck! Keep writing!

599

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14 days may be credited.

#3071990

Review of Fly away...

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression:

Creativity:

Content:

Technical: I don't particularly care for triple dots at the end of each line. I think those should be reserved for very special occasions. In your poem it distracted me from the flow of the poem. Be careful of spacing and punctuation. I noticed that the stanzas don't stand out with line breaks. I know a lot of people don't think it's so important in poetry but it can really change how the reader is taking the words in. You know what I mean?

For example, for the first two stanzas you could do:

Sitting here, with my hands tied,
feeling like everything around me died.

Thinking thoughts of the insane,
wishing that I wasn't the one to blame.

:)

Overall: With some editing this could be much more.

Good luck! Keep writing!

600

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14 days may be credited.

#3071986

Review of Love Goes On

Review by Riot

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as demurerose.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

First Impression: The beginning really had me going. The first two stanzas are perfect.

Content: It wasn't too long, it wasn't too short. You went from telling us, the reader, that you became his wife. How you loved him. How he's gone. Why he's gone. Then, a good strong ending.

Technical: Careful of word flow. I know from writing poetry myself it's easy to put extra syllables in there, but try not to crowd it. It flows well, good job!

Overall: Good luck! Keep writing! (I'm surprised you wrote this when you were 12.)