Riot's (riot) Reviews

Riot

Review Requests: OFF

1,559 Public Reviews Given

2,107 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

My reviews typically cover: initial responses, technicalities and mechanics, favorite parts, areas of improvement, and overall impression.

I'm good at...

Honesty, and finding what works versus what doesn't work. I will never give you a rating I don't think your work deserves. I am also particularly good at spotting grammatical errors and typos.

Favorite Genres

Philosophy, Steampunk, Horror, Dark, Emotional, Science Fiction, Technology, and Political Science. I'm sure there are more that I'm missing.

Least Favorite Genres

Romance, Western, Religious, and anything froufrou.

I will not review...

Chapters and Novels, unless arrangements are made prior.

451

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#3102339

Review of Ignorance

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Ignorance"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I'm not sure I understand the title, with the plot.

Characters: I'm a little confused, are you telling this from a first person point of view, or from Zoe's point of view? Are you just referencing her? Either way, I feel sorry for Zoe, her emotions seem to be very mixed.

Technical: Some things I noticed:

I think your introductory paragraph needs a bit of work. I like how it starts off with a question, but I feel like your second sentence is a bit of a run on. Instead of Your hearts pounding really fast and feels like it could jump out of your chest... I think you should put something like, How it makes you feel like your heart is going to jump out of your chest, while your body shakes like a rattle snake... or something along those lines. I know what you're trying to do in this paragraph, but I think if you slow down and describe each thought in their own right separately it may have more of an overall affect.

In paragraph two, you quote "fear that is", but I think only quoting "fear" would read better. You're referring to the mood, y'know?

Keep watch on your punctuation. A lot of this is run on, and you "quote" an awful lot. I don't think most of the quotes are needed, in all honesty.

Overall Opinion: With some work, I feel this piece would speak to me more. Don't give up though, I feel it has a lot of potential. If you ever change this, please send me an email and let me know, as I'd be interested in re-reading/rating it.

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452

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#3102328

Review of Frozen

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Frozen"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I feel your title, while simplistic, fits the nature of your poem.

Word Choice: I like how you worded this. The first line of each stanza is great, I love how you exclaimed each to add more emphases. Other words that struck me: worldly chores, prosaic facts galore, precious possession of mine, encompassed glitter, and genetic flair.

Structure and Form: I like how this is free-verse, though I can't help but wonder how it would be if you followed a set of rules. With the first lines being exclaimed, and the last lines being questions... However, that being said, I feel you did an excellent job with describing each stanza.

Imagery: The imagery in this is great. You use good, strong, key words to support your thinking and paint us a picture of what exactly it is you're saying and contemplating.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I think you did an excellent job. You kept same-like thoughts together, which really helped with the flow of this. I especially like how you ended this with the ultimate question. I have no doubt that this is a great piece of work. I look forward to reading more from you, I expect we'll be seeing more great things from you.

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453

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#3099851

Review of The Note

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Note"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: To the point and appropriate. It got me wondering what kind of note. A break up note? A grocery list? Some important instructions?

Style and Voice: Straight and to the point. Almost matter-of-fact. I really thought it was appropriate.

Word Choice: I very much liked the words here. I can't pick just one line or set of phrases, but if I was absolutely forced to I enjoyed how you reused the first stanza to mean something else entirely.

Structure and Form: The flow was pretty good, but here are my personal thoughts on meter:

Stanza 1, Line 1

This feels too long to me. Maybe you could cut out a syllable or two.

... Yup. That's it.

Imagery: This was good. I imagined this little note sitting on the counter with him eye-balling it.

Overall: Fantastic piece. Thank you for sharing it with us. I look forward to reading more of your work.

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454

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#3099803

Review of Tales of the Raven: The Pilgrimage

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Tales of the Raven: The Pilgrimage"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: After reading this poem, I can definitely understand and agree with the title a lot more than at a first glance.

Style/Imagery: Wow, is all I can say. The imagery in this piece is just outstanding. I can't pick just one thing in specific. What a read! And still, your voice showed through in every letter.

Word Choice: I could never pretend to even pick out a favorite part with this, but some word combinations that struck me in particular are: a wolf and his wife, fur so immaculate, His bright black eyes were always merry, waddled and hopped, malevolent face. I could go on but I have to limit myself.

Structure and Form: Nothing I can say would do this piece any justice. I thought it flowed very well.

Overall: I rarely say it, but don't change a thing. It's very deserving of the beautiful purple ribbon it has. While this was a long read, I found myself pretty glued to it.

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455

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#3099790

Review of Life after death

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Life after death"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I understand where this title came from, but I think with a different name it could be more personal to this story.

Scene/Setting: I felt the description of the car-wreck was okay, but with some fleshing out it could be much better.

Characters: I actually felt sorry for the characters, which is a good sign that this story has potential.

Technical: I think with some better formatting and attention to punctuation, that this would read easier. Until then, I honestly feel like it detracts from the story.

Overall Opinion: With some work, I think this has a lot of potential. Regardless, it was a good read and I'm glad to have read it. Thank you for sharing it with us.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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456

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#3099757

Review of The Empty Crib

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Empty Crib"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title definitely has a lot of meaning for this poem.

Style/Imagery: Sad imagery, very, very sad. The still of the night, the midnight sun shining, clouds... all represent what she feels inside as well.

Word Choice: I couldn't just pick one thing about this that moves me, as it does in its entirety.

Overall: This is a very moving poem, and thank you for sharing it with us. I hope you keep up the great writing. Welcome to WDC.

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457

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#3099732

Review of I lie in bed

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "I lie in bed"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: The title's good, it only needs proper capitalization.

Style/Imagery: I really like how you presented this poem. I felt like I was experiencing everything that you were. The end was especially depressing.

Word Choice: Some words that struck me: laden breeze, gentle wind, golden ray, and {b]sprinkling.

Structure and Form: I really like this unique scheme you've used. Wonderful!

Overall: Thank you for sharing this. I highly enjoyed reading it.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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#3099724

Review of Full of Grace

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Full of Grace"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like this title and think it fits this terribly sad poem.

Style/Imagery: I think you did a really good job wording this. I can feel your emotions in your word. I sympathize with you very much.

Word Choice: I don't think you could've worded things better, especially on this delicate subject.

Structure and Form: Pretty great structure here. There were only a couple of places where I thought the flow was slightly off, but it didn't detract from the poem at all.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this touching poem and exposing those rattling nerves that must haunt you. Great job.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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459

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#3099702

Review of Talismans

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Talismans"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title.

Style/Imagery: The style of this is definitely not what I expected. It's not every day people write poems backward. But, because it was, I was forced to read it much slower.

Word Choice: The word choice was good, even though backward.

Overall: This was an interesting read, but honestly I'm not sure why it was done backward. I don't think it was bad backward, or anything, but it did kind of hurt my eyes straining to read it this way.

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460

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#3099693

Review of Men in Black

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Men in Black"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: It reminds me too much of the movie, unfortunately.

Style & Voice: I like how you designed this flash story.

Scene/Setting: Not very in depth here, but we're talking in a scene that's 500 words and I don't think you could've pulled it off any better.

Technical: I could find nothing wrong with this piece.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I felt this was pretty good. Thanks for sharing this with us!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

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461

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#3099687

Review of Stargazing

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Stargazing"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I like the title. It gets me wondering what you're going to talk about.

Style & Voice: For a 55 worder story, you've done a great job with style. I often find these are very difficult to do.

Technical: I could find nothing wrong with this, grammar or spelling. Excellent job. I wouldn't change anything.

Overall Opinion: I often times feel like 55 worders are a real hit or miss. I think you did a really good job with this one! It made me smile.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

462

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#3099675

Review of The Last Fairytale

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Last Fairytale"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title got me curious as to what the poem was about. I wasn't disappointed.

Style/Imagery: I like the descriptions of everything around you, from the clouds, the rain, and all the colors.

Word Choice: Some words that struck me: earth-rough, corporeal, questing heart, and fairytale restart.

Structure and Form: My only criticism for this is to perhaps add some punctuation to it and possibly capitalize some of the lines. Otherwise, I can find nothing wrong with this.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this with us, I enjoyed the read. Keep up the great work, and welcome to WDC!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

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463

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#3099663

Review of CHRIST!

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "CHRIST!"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title, but I think you could kill the caps.

Style/Imagery: These powerful words truly fill me with hope. Very good job.

Word Choice: I think you did a great job with word choice here. I like how you put them together and made it sound... whimsical even. Kiss of spring, winter's cruelest frost, and cold and bitterness.

Overall: Great bite-sized poem! I can't see any room for improvement other than to expand it, which would of course disqualify you from the contest.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

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464

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#3099646

Review of A typical family?

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "A typical family?"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I don't think I really care for the title. I would shorten it and make it more title-like. Maybe Family Reunion (although overplayed) or Typical Family? even.

Style/Imagery: In just a few short words you've told me all about your whole family. Way to go.

Word Choice: I loved the wording and think you did a great job with it.

Structure and Form: Every thing is great. My only one suggestion is that the very last line seemed like it was one syllable too short. Maybe it could be: This is out annual family reunion. Even still, it was a great poem, and that didn't detract from it.

Overall: Overall, I thought this was great. Thanks for sharing it with us!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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465

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#3099532

Review of My Family Reunion

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "My Family Reunion"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: As I've said to the others who entered this contest; I think the title could be more creative.

Style/Imagery: Haha, interesting imagery here. Sort of humorous, too!

Word Choice: I like how you described your family reunion. It wasn't all fluff and lovies like the others I've read so far.

Structure and Form: I like the rhyme, not sure if it was intentional. If it was, you may want to look at the second (and last) stanza again. yelling / given / leaving

Overall: An amusing read. Thanks for sharing!

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#3099164

Review of TSUNAMI: a cinquain

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "TSUNAMI: a cinquain"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Great title, my only suggestion is to kill the caps. You don't have to tell us it's a cinquain either, if you're going to also tell us in the text.

Style/Imagery: Well, the imagery is great. I definitely agree with it!

Word Choice: The whole thing was all kinds of awesome. The build-up, and the end.

Structure and Form: Great form. I'm not sure if you really needed to tell us every little detail though. It doesn't detract from the poem, I guess I just chuckled a little when you spent more words describing the poem than the actual poem itself. Much like this review. ;)

Overall: Don't change a thing. It's perfect.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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#3099163

Review of Waves

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Waves"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: The title's okay. I'm unsure with all these ocean poems. It's hard to be more creative with them.

Style/Imagery: I like the imagery in this, and how you brought in other elements besides just the ocean.

Word Choice: They're all great. I especially love line 3.

Structure and Form: Cinquain, you can never go wrong with this. I couldn't find any room for improvement.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this with us, it was really great.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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#3099153

Review of Turkish Coffee - Excerpt

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Turkish Coffee - Excerpt"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Hehe, I like the title.

Style/Imagery: I felt like I was drinking this coffee with you, tea style maybe.

Word Choice: Great imagery. I could see the ivory cup, and I felt like I was getting ready to take a big old sip. Good thing I had my Starbucks here!

Structure and Form: I liked the light rhyming, you were spot on with it!

Overall: Overall, I highly enjoyed this read. Thanks for sharing it with us! I look forward to reading more of your work and raiding your port soon.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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#3099152

Review of Just one more time...

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry " Just one more time..."

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Great title, but needs proper capitalization.

Style/Imagery: I love the style of this. I especially like how you've split the descriptive parts into red, and how those are always the second line. Great job.

Word Choice: All your red words struck me, as I'm sure they were intended.

Overall: I can find no room for improvement, I think it's perfect. Great job, and thank you for sharing this with us. Keep up the good work.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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#3099127

Review of Living With Mom

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Living With Mom"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: The title's appropriate to the poem/dialogue.

Style & Voice: I like how you presented this. I don't think anybody else has tried to mix poetry and dialogue. Even without the quotes, as you say, it's clear it is.

Characters: I wonder how many mothers (or wives for that matter) feel this way.

Technical: I couldn't find anything wrong with this, technically.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I felt this was a pretty amusing read. One thing though -- your bitem didn't actually go through properly on the page, but I hunted it down anyways. I look forward to more of your entries to this contest!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

471

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14 days may be credited.

#3098978

Review of Under Celine

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Under Celine"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title's perfect.

Style/Imagery: You have some great style going on here. I liked how you narrated this. It almost felt like an 'old-school' type poem.

Word Choice: The word choice here was superb.

Structure and Form: I couldn't find anything wrong with this. Though I wonder, would punctuation at the end of the lines help at all? They're not needed, it doesn't detract from the poem. I am just curious.

Overall: Great job on this. You took 8 lines and really made me smile. :)

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

472

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3098928

Review of Lost At Sea

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Lost At Sea"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I like the title.

Style & Voice: I really like your style here. I think the italics were a good choice! It depicts the eerie voice of death well.

Scene/Setting: While you didn't describe the ocean in depth, I felt like I was floating around with you hanging on to the last thread of life.

Technical: The only thing I have to say is that maybe you could split this up in to multiple lines. I'm unsure though, because it seems like it works just fine as one paragraph.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I felt you did a really good job. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

473

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3098851

Review of On Patrol

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "On Patrol"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: This title makes me wonder what you could say about being on patrol. In 55 words!

Style & Voice: I love the dialogue. I really think dialogue is the key to these short 55 worders. You did a great job with it.

Characters: The ending made me laugh out loud. I could almost see the rookie being so disappointed over something so small, as opposed to all the violence they see daily.

Technical: I think it was all pretty good. At the end, maybe with the start of sentence three in the last paragraph, put it on a new line. Otherwise, I couldn't find anything else wrong with it.

Overall Opinion: This made me laugh out loud. Thanks for sharing it, and brightening up my rotten day. :)

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

474

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3098841

Review of 55 Word Story {Winter Forest}

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "55 Word Story {Winter Forest}"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I love the title.

Style & Voice: I like how you told this short story. These 55 word contests are pretty tough to do, believe me I've tried. I especially like that you only focused on the bunny.

Technical: I couldn't find any errors grammatically or spelling-wise. However, at the end, I think you could have just italicized 'thud' instead of encasing it in quotes.

Overall Opinion: Great story, I really enjoyed the read.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

475

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3098824

Review of Conception

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Conception "

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: Nice title. I wondered how you were going to twist this around. I know of your previous 55 worders. ;)

Style & Voice: Great style, as always.

Technical: I can't find any room for improvement. As usual, your dialogue is really excellent. I feel it really adds to these short stories you do.

Overall Opinion: Don't change a thing, I think this is perfect the way it is!

(I'm going to stop reviewing now, I have a phone call. Be back in a few minutes!)

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!