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Bare and uncensored personal expression. Beware!!! |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "This is pretty much what journals are all about, at least to me. I knew as I wrote them that even though they provided an excellent place for brain (and heart, and psyche) dump, they were mainly a map of me." --- Colleen Wainwright "Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it." --- David Sedaris "Please write again soon. Though my own life is filled with activity, letters encourage momentary escape into others lives and I come back to my own with greater contentment." --- Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey "In giving of myself onto these pages every day I allow myself to write regardless of the depth and meaning. I share myself with others without fear of recrimination for these are my thoughts, my feelings and my very being, and there are non who's opinion of me matters more than my own." --- Rebecca Laffar-Smith   The Writer's Round-About |
OMG I'm so tense. I've written my entry and it's damn fine if I do say so myself. But Wow! Lunar is a challenge and a half. I hope Jaren will judge early because waiting another couple of days is going to kill me. lol Please, everyone keep your fingers crossed for me and if you want some great reading here are our two poems. 
FINISHED!!! Chapter Ten. It kinds of feels let down toward the end but once again a trouble I frequently have popped up. Knowing where to end. One of the problems of writing stories, novels, etc. is that while we draw the story to a close the real story doesn't end. So how do we know when to say The End in the book? Anyway, the whole lot is going to need some serious cleaning up so it'll still be a while before I can share it with those who wanted to review for me. Can't promise a date here since I've not had a chance to get started on the editing. Today is going to be busy. I need to do some serious planning so that tomorrow I've got something to write in my 20 minutes. I didn't want to turn my 20 into editing time because then I won't be producing anything new and I won't be writing so much. So my 20 will remain writing time and I'll dig up time elsewhere in the day for editing. Meanwhile, I've been stuffing about too much doing other things today so this entry is going to be moderate. Have a great day/night everyone and best of luck in whatever it is you're doing. |
Well, after two days of not writing it was great to get back in the chair today. Surprisingly the break didn't do me too much harm, perhaps because it wasn't a conscious choice not to write. I suppose I could have reverted to twenty minutes of longhand but with the way my wrist behaves these days time on the computer can get painful I would hate to imagine trying to write for long, furious, periods in longhand. Yes, excuses, excuses.  Well as I worked on chapter ten I needed to revert back to some of the things mentioned in chapter three so that facts related. I read the parts I needed, and read some more, and read some more. Damn, I'm good. I sucked myself into my own story, it was hard to stop after I'd started reading. lol I actually found at least that chapter is no where near as bad as I thought it was. I found myself doing some touch ups with spelling, structure etc. as I read but I'll do a proper edit later when I've finished chapter ten.Chapter ten is coming along nicely and I'll have finished by the end of this week I expect. It's exciting coming to this point and a little scary too. My head is starting to put me ahead of myself to the submission stage. I'm trying to prepare myself for rejection from the publishing company I'm aiming for. The truth is I haven't really prepared myself for it at all. If they won't publish my book who else could I submit it to? Harlequinn are basically the only Romance book I read. I'm subscribed to them and in Australia they pretty much rule the Romance category. But as I said, that's getting ahead of myself. Time to step back and focus on Chapter Ten and then the second and third drafts, then reviewers, then long after that I can consider submitting the manuscript to publishers. Western Australia is getting back to normal after Monday's storms. It's amazing how widespread and extensive the damage was. Most people have power by now although as of nightfall last night (about twelve hours ago) about 5000 homes in Western Australia were predicted to have still been out of power. That's 36 hours after the cyclone. We were out of power for 30 hours and it's amazing how strange it feels. Particularly at night time. I'm lucky enough to have a gas cooker and gas hot water, but it gets you thinking about times prior electricity. We had an early meal, of simple soup as the sun was setting. Lit a candle and after eating went to bed early. Even me. I read a little by candlelight but not as late as I would normally stay up reading. I went to sleep about 8PM which is incredible.I woke up in the morning expecting to feel particularly refreshed but I wasn't. Obviously even those few extra hours were not enough to rid myself of the sleep debt I've accumulated over this past year. I must admit I slept well considering there were no lights. (I don't like the dark.) I don't remember dreaming but I frequently don't dream so I guess there was nothing unusual there. This house should now be termite free. The smell of the chemicals actually wasn't too bad once I got home about 5PM. I stopped home in the afternoon to open some of the windows at the back of the house to give it some air before coming home with the kids in the evening. Hopefully the termite treatment will help us with our regular ant problems too. I haven't seen any sign of them today but it's not the weather for them either. Meanwhile, it's getting on to 8AM and I should get the day started. Belly rumbling as usual and a daughter who needs to get dressed for school. Have a great day/night everyone. |
| I love storms! We don't get many decent ones here in Western Australia, normally our weather is mundane and boring. But yesterday we had terrific weather. A cyclone! Well my sense of fantastic weather is perhaps a little warped, I love storms, and I love the power of nature. Yesterday morning we had just woken up when the lights went out. At that time of the morning and with storm clouds hiding what could have been a sunrise it was particularly dark. Kaylie didn't much like being suddenly thrust into darkness. We settled back onto the couch to watch the storm since with no power I didn't have access to my computer to do my writing like I normally would that time of the morning. Later it was still a bit blustry, flashes of lightning etc. so I called my mother. She works nearby and would be heading to work about the time I need to get Kaylie to school so I asked her to drop her off for me. That saved me having to walk with Kaylie and Josh during a storm. I'm so glad she was able because the weather all day was terrible although after the cyclone had passed it was a little calmer. They cyclone ripped up a tree, taking out my mothers back fence and washing line. The roots are half in and half out of the ground and the whole tree is laying across my mothers lawn. It is so close to the shed. Very lucky not to have damaged anything. This house is sheduled for demolishion later this year (to make way for some new roads) so the government (who currently own the land and thus the house) will probably only arrange to patch the fence not fix it. Fortunately Mum has just bought a new house and will have moved out in about a month anyway. Today my house no only has no power but it's being fumigated. TERMITES!!! The little buggers are riddled through my shed, the fences and apparently have a nest in the tree out on the verge. It's probably that they are under the house as well so Stan (a friend of the family who happens to be in pest control) is fumigating it all. Spraying the fenceline, drilling and dousing the tree and bombing underneath the house. It means me and the kids have to stay away until this evening because of the smell and the toxins. Hopefully by the time we return the smell will begin to disappate (opening all windows etc) and the power will be back on. Anyway, it's been a hectic beginning to the week. I had a laugh when I checked my email from this computer (I'm at my mothers) just now. I subscribe to a daily horoscope from the US and yesterdays horoscope said, "The Eye of the Storm has Passed". Talk about irony. I wonder how many others had such literal interpretations of their horoscope that day. Now, time for lunch and to get back onto the road. Got a long trip to get back to Armadale. Will be picking up Kaylie from school and walking to the shops after that. We might hang around for an early dinner there before heading home. Give the termites plenty of time to die or vacate. |
| Yes I know I already did my entry today but I just uploaded my latest camera images from my new camera and wanted to share the beautiful sunrise I enjoyed this morning. The image is exactly as it appeared this morning. There are no filters or any editing (other than resizing) done here. Incredible isn't it? The sun sets these clouds on fire. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I didn't write my journal entry yesterday. Opps I can't believe I forgot it amongst all the other things I needed to get done yesterday. But I guess these things happen. The good news is I'm beginning to feel better about my novel coming to an end. I'm just wrapping up chapter nine and starting chapter ten tomorrow and it's looking good. I've been reading romance stories lately. I have so many of them registered at Bookcrossing.com that are on my to be read list. I've got a few ready for release but most I haven't read yet. I've got to get to the library and talk to them about Bookcrossing, see if they'll object to Bookcrossing books on their exchange and perhaps leave some bookmarks with them. Anyway, I've been reading romances and taking note of the way they use description to express characters and how they get everything together. As I've mentioned before my first draft is coming up rather short and I think a great deal of that has to do with the fact that I get the facts on the page but don't embellish them. On the occasions when I embellish them, make creative, descriptive shows (as opposed to telling) it balances better. So a major overhaul on my first draft when I'm through chapter ten will be to get a lot more 'showing' in there and a lot less 'telling'. I'm also going to cut any unneccessary scenes and perhaps add some that would be important for character developement. I need to bring out their differences a bit more because you really don't get to see much of who they are in the background with the first draft. It's an easy amatuer mistake to write it all and not explain any of it. For example, I know Jake is well off, lives in a really nice, modern, interior decorated appartment. But at no stage do I inform the readers and that sort of information says a lot about who Jake is and how he lives before Emma. These sorts of thoughts are coming up now and they are fairly timely since I'll have finished chapter ten of the first draft very soon. I'm getting excited now. I know it's going to need a lot of work in the second and third draft but I've actually got something to work with. A full story, beginning, middle and end. It just needs polishing. Paul should be taking the kids out today. I did consider going to see a movie but I really don't have time and I'd have to depend on Paul's transportation. I can't wait till I get a car of my own. Settlement should be going through in the next two to three weeks so hopefully a car will follow that up fairly swiftly. I'm into Round Four of the Poetry Raw. Isn't that incredible? Competition is getting tough. My current opponent has written some great entries and I'm really going to have to work exceptionally hard to make sure I can compete. We are both fairly evenly matched which makes this round really difficult. But it's exciting making it so far. If I make it past this round, I'll be in the finals. Wouldn't it be fantastic to be WDC Poetry RAW Lightweight Champion? Imagine, I could do exhibition rounds and title rounds against people who want to wrest the title from me.  Well, there you go, an entry. Sorry for missing you yesterday. Nothing interesting happened so you didn't miss anything. Meanwhile, onward to today. Breakfast, my belly is telling me. Have a great weekend everyone. |
| Chapter Eight finished and the best two chapters to come. Chapter Nine and Ten. I'm not as exstatic about this as I think I should be. I'm having trouble getting into the spirit but I think it's just because I'm on a low ebb at the moment. Perhaps it's just that this book has taken a while to write already and the excitement has worn off a little. I'm looking forward to finishing but I'm not overjoyed at the event like I thought I would be. I mean it's the first, first draft, I've ever finished. Perhaps when it is actually finished I'll feel better. Perhaps this difficult stage is part of the wall? I noticed it was a struggle to get through todays writing and the book hasn't been on my mind, percolating, during the day time lately. Now it's over after I save and close the file each morning and I move onto other things. I can't say I'm even thinking much on my next novel although I need to start doing that. On other things, I made it to the next round of the RAW. Suprised me because I did think that Shroom and I would have been tough to choose between. Today I'll spend some time writing my Surrender poem. I want to use a specific for without an abab or aabb rhyme scheme to stand out. I'll have to see what I come up with. My sister put in an offer for a house yesterday and I spoke to my loans officer. She's waiting on the change of title from conveyancing which should be getting back to her today or early next week. Then she writes up the final papers and we arrange to sign them then settlement is a couple of days later. So hopefully I'll own this house in a couple of weeks. It's raining today and Kaylie just said, "I can't go to school today because it's raining." It is a good excuse, I don't relish the idea of walking for an hour in the rain.  Is rain with no transport a legitimate reason to keep a preschooler home for the day? Not really, besides I should be going out with a friend today for lunch and putting Josh in the Little Aussie competition. Looks like I'll be walking for an hour in the rain, I better go dig up our rain coats. |
| I wrote my last entry late on Tuesday night and didn't write one at all yesterday however it's only 7PM on the 11th according to writing.com time so technically it's still the 11th and my entry isn't late It's actually 7:30AM here on Thursday now and soon I'll be getting off the computer to get ready for the day ahead. The lady buying the bath eventually replied to my email. Asking to pick it up this morning. So I'll aim to be home all morning. I still think it's pretty slack of her not to give me a definate time and I hate that I might waste the whole morning when for a change I have access to a car. I suppose it does give me a reason to get some of the jobs done around the house. I replied with my phone number so hopefully if she can't make it after all she'll phone. Kaylie was in an accident yesterday. Had a close encounter with a bike rider. We were walking home from school yesterder along the footpath and a teenage girl was riding her pushbike in the other direction. On the side of the path there is a cement train entry that Kaylie likes to jump onto from the path so she jumped then turned around. I saw the teenager coming along on her bike and shouted for Kaylie to stop but it was too late, she jumped and landed back on the path, right in front of the biker. To her credit the teenager did whatever she could to prevent damage. She slammed on the breaks and attempted to swerve but it was much too late. The bike wheel snagged Kaylie on the side. She was flung about a foot down the path and landed bumping her head on the ground. She came out of it with a bump and a scrap but otherwise unharmed. It was the sort of accident you see coming but can't do anything to prevent. It could have been so much worse and I'm so glad she's ok. The poor teenager was freaking out but I reassured her. It really wasn't her fault, she probably shouldn't have been riding her bike on the footpath but I was a teenager once and I did it all the time. It's not like she was being dangerous, she was just riding. Paul said he would have ripped the teens head off. I'm just glad Kaylie is alright. It reminded me of a similar thing that happened to my mother years ago. Mum was injured more, had a chunk of skin ripped out of her leg. She had just stepped out of the doctors office straight into the path of a biker that was going fast and being dangerous considering he was speeding around the small walkway around a busy shopping centre. This morning's 20 was tough. It's hard to be the voice of reason when you aren't sure you're being reasonable. In the scene I just finished, Susan (Emma's sister) was talking Emma into giving marriage with Jake a chance. Emma is worried that he'll leave like all the other men in her life and Sue is trying to convince her that he's worth the chance. Emma is based on me remember, and my husband left about four months ago (on the 16th so almost exactly 4 months). At the moment I'm still dealing with the fact that all the men in my life never hang around. I can completely relate to Emma which made it hard to write for Sue. I did it however but listening to what Sue had to say about it. She after all is happily married with a newborn baby and the thrill of new love. The scene will need some touch ups of course, when the time comes, because it is undoubtably a little stilted. That's most of chapter eight done now. Just going to have another scene with Emma's dilema then it'll be time for chapter nine. Getting into the good stuff. Ok, time to get this day on the road. Notice the attempt at a cheery entry. I could have written something near identical to my last one but I made an effort to keep it upbeat. Now I've ruined it *shrugs* Oh well. |
| Ok. Of the million and one things I should get done today my journal entry isn't on the top of my list. Of course since I equate it on the same level as my morning twenty I don't let the fact that I don't 'want' to stop me doing what I need to do. So be prepared for one of those straight out 'why the hell am I talking to you' entries. Oh and before I get started on that I want to let you know that I really don't mean any of it. I have these mood swings. I act like a real bitch for a day or three then I hit my upswing and I'm nice again for a few days up to two weeks. When I'm in a bitch low I'm a real bitch. I don't want to talk to anyone and I don't want to have anything to do with the world. This is one of those moments. I sold my near new baby bath on eBay and for two days in a row I've been trying to set up a time to meet with the buyer. She said she'd be here after 1PM today but never showed up. I hate inconsiderate people. She didn't even leave me an email to explain why she didn't come. I focused my time to make sure I would be home when I said I would be and she doesn't have the consideration to either keep our appointment or let me know she can't keep it. What the hell is up with that? Why is what she does with her day so much more important than what I do with mine? I got my labels from BookCrossing yesterday and today I was writing my username on all the bookmarks. There didn't seem to be nearly enough of them so I counted them. Two packs of 25. Two packs of 25 label stickers, and two packs of 25 post it notes. Ok so when I first saw the package I did think, is that it? For $50US = $75 AUD or about 3 hours work on average wages it seemed a little skimpy. I sent them an email today. The pack should have had enough for 100 books so I'm thinking they only sent me half what should have been there. Let's hope we can get it all sorted out. I did my twenty this morning. My earlier entry was all about how I managed to write a whole chapter in less than a page. Yep, I know, I have a serious spacing problem going on. I did check out my current word count and in the balance of things it's going fairly well. Now if only we can get the various chapters evened out. Perhaps I'm distributing information in the wrong areas. I don't know what's going on. I do know that chapter seven is behind me and tomorrow is chapter eight. Three chapters to go. All these niggling little problems can be fixed up in the second draft and I'm really feeling great about getting the first draft finished up. It's a real accomplishment because I've never been so far into any drafting for a novel.So, there you go. An entry, satisfied my willpower. Did what I promised myself to do. Did what I promised anyone who read my last entry to do. Now lets hope that I haven't used up all 500 entries my blog is supposed to have. |
| What the? Just got an error after writing my entry that said I'd reached my limit. I thought I had lots of room. Oooohhhhhh, it lied and ate my entry. *bursts into tears* Well obviously I wasn't supposed to post that entry. Ok, so I'm out of time to write an entry right now. I'll put one in tonight. |
| Ok, so, yes you all know by my moaning and growning these last two entries that I'm sick. Near deaths door dying. Accompanied in every motion by the angel of darkness, listening to the chorus from heaven, kicking the bucket, pushing up daisies, toward death. Yep, exageration. Anyway, yesterday I gave myself permission to take a sick day and, shock horror, NOT WRITE. Oh my God, never again!!! You wouldn't believe how hard it was to make sure I did my 20 minutes today. All day long I kept putting it off, "I'll feel better, more up to it later." "I don't have to push myself, I'm not well." etc. It was all crap, procrastination excuses. Giving myself some slack yesterday made starting again today so hard. I think it would be easier to write 20 minutes every day come rain or shine or fever. It doesn't matter if what I write is terrible but it's important to keep that promise to myself. Keep that routine. It would have been so easy for this one day to lead to two, three, seven, ten, twenty, a lifetime. A writer's death. One day without writing can be a writer's death. Thankfully, I didn't put up with that shit from myself. I removed all my excuses and I sat down and said to myself, "Pull up your boots Bec, it's time to write. Get that twenty minutes out of the way today because it'll be easier tomorrow." And I did it. You know, the hardest part of it all was getting to the chair. Once I was sitting, the word program running, file loaded, timer ticking, the writing came easy. No messing about trying to figure out where I was at. No critique in my mind telling me I was wasting my time. So, my advice to you writers out there. Take yourself seriously. Be your own best friend, be straight and honest with yourself. And don't cop out even once with a sicky. One day can lead you to a writer's death. |
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