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Bare and uncensored personal expression. Beware!!! |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "This is pretty much what journals are all about, at least to me. I knew as I wrote them that even though they provided an excellent place for brain (and heart, and psyche) dump, they were mainly a map of me." --- Colleen Wainwright "Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it." --- David Sedaris "Please write again soon. Though my own life is filled with activity, letters encourage momentary escape into others lives and I come back to my own with greater contentment." --- Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey "In giving of myself onto these pages every day I allow myself to write regardless of the depth and meaning. I share myself with others without fear of recrimination for these are my thoughts, my feelings and my very being, and there are non who's opinion of me matters more than my own." --- Rebecca Laffar-Smith   The Writer's Round-About |
| Yesterday I stopped by the library to replenish my supply of books. The local library has a system where you can donate old romance books and exchange them one for one with new books. Kind of like a second hand bookstores exchange policy except that each book is worth another book rather than having to accumulate enough to cover the purchase price by donating more books at a return price. Anyway, while I was there I had a look at the section for writing and particularly searched for books about writers block. I came across a book that is on my wish list at Amazon.com called Unstuck: A supportive and practical guide to working through writer's block, by Jane Anne Staw, PH.D. I've started reading this book today and already it sounds like it will be very helpful for me and the serious impediments I tend to place before my own writing. In her introduction she talks about many different ways writers act when suffering a block and the various blocks that are common and I probably have quite a few triggers for my own blocks. Hopefully, in reading this book, I'll learn some techniques that can help me conquer my blocks and get onto the serious business of actually writing. |
| I had planned to write a lengthy entry today about how much I hate housework but how pleased by how much of it got done today. But, alas, I'm falling asleep on myself with a baby boy asleep in my arms so I don't think I'm going to last. Basically today was busy with everything but writing. Thursday's usually are. But thankfully Friday's are a day to get back to business. But now, Stargate: Atlantis. Catch you tomorrow.  |
| It feels good to finally be getting something done and even though I know I'm wasting more time than I'm using I don't feel like an anvil sunk to the bottom of a sewage filled mire. Now instead of being fully submerged in the filth I've just got it up to my waist and I'm slowly pulling myself out. Then again with the way I've been feeling lately that could change in an instant. My emotions have been everywhere and I realised last night that I might be considered manic depressive. I normally have mood swings that are fairly rapid but of late it's been beyond rapid, from one instant to the next I cannot fathom what I might feel. It's chaotic to say the least. What I do know is I don't like feeling so out of control of myself. I don't like feeling that I have no power. My writing empowers me and having returned to it in this time of turmoil I already feel the difference. Now if only I can turn this into something productive. Get a book completed and I'll have accomplished a dream I keep torturing myself for not slaving away hard enough for. Priorities, I know, I have my priorities and personally I think they can be a little screwed. Sure I have my kids and they always have to come first by why does that mean I have to come last? I know I did the same thing in my marriage, I was the least of my problems. But my writing needs to become a priority. But how can I justify no keeping up with housework in favor of writing? I can't, and truth be told writing or attempting to write or pretending I'm attempting to write often becomes a reason not to do housework. Willpower, I've never had strong willpower and more so now than on so many previous occasions. I know the theory of setting achievable goals and managing time and all that but I have so far been unable to stick to any sort of planning longer than a few days. Even a meal plan is beyond me. I have a meal plan on my fridge but more often than not I completely disregard what it says. Perhaps I am undermining myself even there. How do you work structure into a life that has so far enjoyed it's chaos? I'm getting Dr. Phil echo's in my head. Pay off, Pay off, Pay off. lol I just admitted that a part of me at least enjoys the chaos of not having to follow plans or rules or set designs. But in truth by not doing these things I suffer. I need to find a way to increase the payoff of doing the things that need to be done and decrease or even remove the payoff I get from disregarding my plans or failing to set them. At least I'm moving forward. Planning and setting goals and ideals in my mind is progress. But it's so easy to think of these things and much harder to put these things into action. |
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Thanks for making me smile.
I'll let you know when I get it done.