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Bare and uncensored personal expression. Beware!!! |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "This is pretty much what journals are all about, at least to me. I knew as I wrote them that even though they provided an excellent place for brain (and heart, and psyche) dump, they were mainly a map of me." --- Colleen Wainwright "Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it." --- David Sedaris "Please write again soon. Though my own life is filled with activity, letters encourage momentary escape into others lives and I come back to my own with greater contentment." --- Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey "In giving of myself onto these pages every day I allow myself to write regardless of the depth and meaning. I share myself with others without fear of recrimination for these are my thoughts, my feelings and my very being, and there are non who's opinion of me matters more than my own." --- Rebecca Laffar-Smith   The Writer's Round-About |
I don't know why but I've been feeling so tired for days now and it's not getting any better.  I know I'm still getting over the cough I've had this past week but this constant exhaustion is really strange. I find I have to drag myself out of bed each morning to at least be in the lounge room so I can keep a half open eye and an ear on the kids. But I can't bring myself to do much of anything other than that.I sense there is some form of depression mixing with it all but I can't work out why. I thought things were going pretty well these days and it's my own lack of willpower that means I'm not progressing as quickly with each of my goals as I'd like. I haven't touched The Dating Game in ages now because I can't bring myself to look at it from the point of view of a reader rather than the writer. I have to edit the darn thing and I'm terrified I'm going to hate every line. I can't get away from it enough to be an emotionless observer, I've invested too much of myself into it. The house is falling back into a mess too. I feel like the moment I get one room clean the rest of the house is in chaos. I know it's supposed to be that way when you've got young kids but with this lethargy it's exhausting to do anything, let alone do it ten times a day. This tax thing is frustrating me too. I recieved my PAYG Summary and apparently I didn't earn enough this year to pay tax. In a way that's a good thing but it's also not. Since I had paid a few thousand in medical bills earlier this year I was looking forward to getting some of that back as a tax refund. Not paying tax means there is nothing to refund. I'll let Paul know he should claim those bills on his tax that way someone benifits from them. It's also more of a headache because I think I have to lodge a baby bonus claim but I can't find the forms. I tried to do it online but once again it's asking for a notice of assessment that I don't have. It won't let me lodge the form without one. It's all just a headache and I'm tempted to say stuff it. But then $500 is a big chunk of money, it's two weeks income and would certainly be very helpful right about now.In good news the package arrived from the US and I can see why Paul didn't want to part with it. One shirt in particular would have pulled his heartstrings. It say's Daddy's Princess and that's something he and Kaylie share. She didn't like him calling her his baby so she said he had to call her his princess. Kaylie Princess Fairy. lol It's adorable. He sent Kaylie three shirts and two shirts for Josh. One of Josh's shirts is a baseball shirt and he looks adorable in it. I snapped a picture with the camera where he's holding a ball, looks like he's about to pitch it. Just georgious.  Anyway, I made an entry when I really didn't want to. Probably got a black day for the 14th but who really cares. I'd rather just go curl up and sleep. I hope everyone else has more energy than I do. Especially Nada, that's one lovely lady who can't afford to be suffering from fatigue at the moment. I wish I had your energy Nada.  Keep it up. |
| Stay tuned for the Madagascar Movie Review. I'll write it up for tomorrow's entry. If I write it today I'll have no idea what to say tomorrow. It's only going to be a very quick review. Basically the movie is great for your kids or your grandkids but as an adult I didn't get much out of it. If you remember Shrek you'll know what I mean about the adult focused humour that made Shrek great fun for adults as well as kids? Well Madagascar didn't have much of that in it. Like most Disney movies there is a strong moral. And the home truth makes it a delightful story. It's not very deep and it felt rather short (and since I had a baby with me that's saying something) I have to admit I was glad it was fairly short because by the end my toddler was climbing up and down the stairs of the cinema and I was spending more time trying to stop him running off than sharing the movie with my daughter. She loved it however. She didn't find any part scary which is saying something because she's afraid of everything. She didn't cry like she did in the Brother Bear movie (even I bawled my eyes out in that movie) She liked the animals and the fact that they talked. For me the animals were a little too human. I mean for the most part they walked on their hind legs and drank through straws. It did make me wonder what Central Park Zoo is really like because it's depicted as a place with tiny pen like enclosures for the animals and here in Australia the RSPCA would never allow that. I'm guess that it was exaggerated for effect and Central Park Zoo is nothing like that. Hopefully anyone there in the US who've been can tell me what it's like. Basically that's it. Delightful and worth going if it's adults at kids prices and you've got a young under 10 year old to take. The kids will love it and you'll probably have a chuckle and a chance to enjoy an hour and a bit pigging out on popcorn and coke as well as a little mindless entertainment. If you'd rather save your money you could wait till it's a weekly and hire the DVD or buy it for your kids/grandkids for christmas. |
| Well my stepfather Rob fixed the car for me. The indicators weren't working and apparently it's because in Datsun Bluebirds the hazzard light can cause problems. Well fiddled around with the hazzard lights and eventually got it unstuck so now the indicators work again. Glad it didn't cost anything to fix, now I just have to catch up with Paul about getting the car serviced. Kaylie really wants to go see Madagascar and she's been so patient all last week when I couldn't drive the car to take her out. So today I thought we'd go and see it. Hopefully Josh won't cause problems and I hope the cinema isn't too busy. It's risky with the school holidays and all but fingers crossed. Perhaps Josh will enjoy the movie too and be willing to sit still and watch it. All else fails I'll stick a tub of popcorn on his lap  I must remember to check the oil in the car today and if that makes any difference to the way the engine is idling I might be willing to risk a long trip tomorrow to take the kids to AQWA or depending on the weather Whiteman Park. Scarlett mentioned in the comments on yesterday's entry our mild Winters. For the most part she is right. Much of Winter is clear blue skies that can be a little chilly (between 0 and 20 celsius) be we also get lots of rainy days. Last night we had lots of rain and it's still cloudy today. In a way the cloudy, rainy days are better because they aren't so cold. The clouds hold the suns heat in and I love rain lol. Not to mention the fact that we really need the rain after our scorching Summers. Anyway, time to get the day started. Panadol with my breakfast this morning to get rid of this headache and more cough medicine. *yuck* Have a great day/night eveyone. |
| ... but what to write about? That is the question. Today is a day for errands. With Paul's car out of action I'm having to once again depend on my mother for transport. Hopefully the car can be fixed up soon but it does seems like I might have another week with both kids at home and no holiday outings. I buy some of the magnabeads I've seen on TV and make playing with those an activity for Kaylie. Her school teacher said that threading beads can help her with her pencil grip and making braclets and necklaces etc should be fun. She's already great at making patterns.Yesterday in the mail I recieved the five BMD certificates I had ordered from the General Registry Office in England. I was glad to see that they were all the people I had thought they would be. Managed to confirm a few details, learn a few others and discovered another connection to the family. Now I'm itching to order more certificates but it can get expensive and I really shouldn't be spending so much on a hobby, at least not at the moment. I also need to decide which family to focus on or it will get really difficult when it comes to getting all the BMD's. I had send away for the WINKWORTH line so I now have five of those. My grandmother however doesn't want me researching the WINKWORTH line, she saids it's her direct leg and she wants to do it by herself. I must admit it hurts that she doesn't see that it's my line too and that I had really been looking forward to sharing this with her. I guess it's her loss, I'm still going to research the line but I won't share any of my information with her since she wants to come upon it herself. I don't think I should focus on it primary any more however, perhaps it would be better to look at my mothers side of the family primarily instead. The CUNNEA line I've been able to trace back a fair way thanks to it being connected to an experienced genealogist. This husband and wife team have a website with so much information and I've found another relative on that line too with more information. I've still got to copy everything they've got into my own records but it's a long and tedious effort that I haven't been up to these last few days. I think I'd actually prefer to focus on the BARKER or CARPENTER lines. Of course I'm not sure which of these two lines lol and I've already got a list of BMD's I want to order. Basically I have to get through the week being very good about my budget. That means not giving into my new addiction lol. I do have to do the shopping today but once again I'm just getting the basics instead of all the super yummy food I used to buy that was really expensive. At least for the moment I can't afford to go all out on my shopping trips. Restraint. Anyway, I better get dressed (no I'm not naked, just in PJ's ) Got to get the day started, breakfast for the kids, etc. *sighs* Can't I just go back to bed? Nope. Onward to Tuesday, errands, visiting mother, and trying to keep my daughter from going crazy with holiday bordem. |
| Well since Dan was obviously getting a little worried I figure I really should post a new journal entry. This week I've been vegetating. I haven't wanted to do much of anything because I'm sick and that evil Aunt Flo is visiting again and I don't have any chocolate. Josh has been sick all week too and in the last few days he's given me his cough. It's terrible dealing with a sick baby because he won't settle down for a rest with me on the chair and I'm still running around like a headless chook. Kaylie being home too doesn't much help and she's always hungry when I'm not hungry at all so it's frustrating having to be around food when I can't stand the sight of it. Last night I thought I had a topic to talk about in my journal but I figured it could wait till today. Of course now I've forgotton what I was going to talk about. Don't you hate that? I'm sure it was something very interesting and I'm sorry to all of you that you'll have to listen to my negative chatter instead of my insightful commentary. I've been avoiding the computer for the most part this week. Getting lots of reading done however and haven't been subjected to too much TV. The shows I normally what have finished their season so we are going into the time when there isn't much on. It happens around this time every year. Hopefully there will be a few shows that come into season that will be worth watching but to tell the truth, although I miss the programs I'd normally be watching, I don't miss TV. I still didn't get Josh Immunised. It's on my list and last weekend I planned to call to make an appointment. Of course, Josh fell sick. He always does that doesn't he? Whenever I decide that now is the time to make that appointment he catches another cold. It's dangerous doing an innoculation when his immune system is already under attack which means I'll have to wait at least another week now until he's all better and no chance of a recurrance. I've also been meaning to get the dog groomed but keep putting it off because of my budget. Hopefully this week I'll be able to get it done. I'm still technically about $10 short on my Animals budget because he had to get wormed the other week but I really can't leave him another fortnight because he's looking shaggy and I don't want trouble with his toenails like we've had in the past (didn't get the cut and they grew so long they started to curve back into the soft tissue, very bad) In a sense I'm glad I've been sick because it's meant I haven't wanted to do much. I had big plans for the school holidays, to take the kids out, Sci-tech, Whiteman Park, Aqua etc. But the trouble is the car is playing up. I think I mentioned that Paul extended his vacation till August so I have his car till then. The trouble is it's long over due for a service and now the indicators aren't working. The other day it stalled on me as I was going around a round about. Thankfully I was able to use the momentum to get it up on a curb but it was seriously dangerous. Especially because the engine then wouldn't start for about five minutes. It did eventually start again but not I have no indicators and I don't trust it, even if I had indicators I wouldn't trust it for the long trips required to get to those holiday activities. The most annoying thing about it is that because Paul had told me he'd be away till August I topped up the car with petrol. Now it's sitting in my driveway with a full tank. Hopefully, we'll be able to get it working. I plan to talk to Paul about getting it serviced while he's away and hopefully he'll agree to pay the expenses since it is his car and he should have had it serviced before lending it to me. What else can I tell you? Not much really. I still haven't been able to finish my Tax Return because I'm still waiting on my PAYG Summary from Centrelink. I have however added the medical expenses we had in January ($2000) from which I have another deductable 20%. That expense was the Day Surgery Kaylie had for her extracted teeth. It hit me hard in the pocket at the time and it's nice to know I can claim 20% as a deduction on my tax because that will definately help a lot. I hope Centrelink doens't take too long getting the summary out to me because I really want to finish doing my tax. The money would really come in handy about now. Well, I have been here and now I'm heading back to the couch and the blankets and pillows and a good book. Time to rest some more. Of course, perhaps I'll get Kaylie's lunch first so I won't be disturbed in five minutes by a five year old's constantly hungry belly. If I don't post tomorrow then I'm still in my low so forgive me. And when I feel better I'll catch up on everyone elses journals. |
| Ok, so earlier I was wondering what to write about then thought about the work I'd done earlier in the day, transcribing. The I got off the computer for a bit and got carried away taking pictures of myself trying in vain to get one that isn't hideous. I ended up with 65 shots but have only kept 14 and am only showing you guys one. I figured since I was showing you one of me I'd throw up one of Josh and one of Kaylie too. So here are the long awaited REAL us (as opposed to "Invalid Item"  which seemed to disappoint those who expected an actual family photograph)Youngest First, this is Joshua: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And Kaylie: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** *sighs* Yeah, I'm not chickening out, here it is, me. Please don't sue me if your eyesight is forever damaged or you suffer mental anguish. Viewing this photograph is done at your own risk. You have been warned!!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Now, back to previously scheduled blogs, Scarlett, Dan, Nada, Tor. All much more interesting. Ok, please stop laughing, now. |
| Well I have a new project. I love projects, especially when I hit the hard spots in other projects I'm working on. I've been getting frustrated with genealogy because there are many records not currently available online. There are millions of birth, death and marriage entries that have not been transcribed and whenever I cannot find a record for one of my ancestors I wonder if perhaps it's on that list. Thankfully the wonderful people at FreeBMD who do the transcribing are volunteers. I've decided to join them so I wrote to one of the syndicate co-ordinators and was warmly welcomed. This morning I transcribed my first 50 entries and I have to admit that the scan I was given to transcribe was thankfully not too difficult. I've seen some that are so difficult to read. I'm glad my first wasn't so challenging. I actually enjoyed it and was surprised how quickly I could move through 50 entries. You see them on the scan and it looks like a great many but with the software WinBMD it's actually a lot simpler than you might think. The districts are all on listings so if you are having trouble working out what the place might be you can put in the first letter or an asterisk and some of the letters and it will show you a list of possibilities. From these it's quite often clear which place the writing says and once you know what the word is you can see how the letters make the word. You also know the surnames are generally in alphabetical order. So if you get a Malme followed by a Miln followed by a Muldoon that looks like a Maldoon you know it's a u not an a. Generally. Sometimes the people who wrote those indexs stuffed up too. There are also some interesting names. You get the regular George's and Mary's and Elizabeth. One I transcribed today was George Reginald. But the really interesting one, the one that had me stumped thinking, can that really be someones name was, Amplias. Amplias Milward. It got me wondering about the family of Amplias Milward. I have the index details of his marriage record, perhaps I should research his family tree and find out about Amplias Milward and his family. What other strange names would I find? I also found a few people married (perhaps lived) in districts where my ancesters married and lived. Bethnal Green and St. Pancras, Shoreditch, are all places I find in abundance. These people were perhaps neighbours of my own ancestors. Now I want to learn all about these places. What were they like? What are they like now as compared to back then in 1847? Where did these people marry? Perhaps Bethnal Green has lovely gardens and Shoreditch, near the coast? So transcribing, a new hobby for me, volunteer work which will hopefully help many genealogists some day and will prove a betterment for family history. A chance to do something for the larger community and the fact that I'm enjoying it is a bonus. It also makes me wonder if there is much call for transcribers for the modern day. Most of the time people type direct to computers these days don't they? Do people still dictate or longhand their work? I enjoy working on the computer and it would be wonderful if there was a need for transcribers that could cover a few of the luxuries I have to refrain from with my budget. Mmmmmmm..... Something to ponder. |
| I am very sad today. The day was lovely and my little girl had a chance to enjoy a friends birthday party. The sad part was that I learnt a terrible truth about the children of today. For the most part, kids (even 5 year olds) no longer believe in magic. Today's party was for one of Kaylie's school friends. They had the party at a little store called Fairies Forever. They have party rooms and the kids dress up as fairies or wizards and enjoy lots of party games, party snacks and cake just like many young kid parties. The hosts are teenage girls who dress up as fairies in lovely fairy dresses. At various stages during the party the girls tell the children to use their magic to make things happen, like turning the lights on or off, or to wake up one of the fairies. Admittedly these girls aren't very good actors but the kids don't even try to believe. Kaylie does of course. I've told her all about the reality of magic and that it's everywhere. She might not be able to see the miracles but they are happening and she has the power to cause them. I believe fairies do exist, beyond normal human sight in the realm beyond the veil and this is what Kaylie learns. It saddened me to hear children telling us that fairies and pixies didn't really exist at all and that magic wasn't real. Five year olds telling us that they are just in pictures. What parent denies their child the gift of wonder, magic, mystery, fantasy? Why aren't parents introducing their children to fairy stories and movies like Peter Pan or the Wizard of Oz? These things send important messages for the self esteem of our kids. Peter Pan tells us that by stating unequivically that something is impossible, causes it to become so. Isn't that one of the great truths of the world? "You have to believe it to see it." Basically, my heart breaks for the children out there who look with their eyes instead of their hearts. I hope that somewhere inside them there is a part that wonders and the adament denial is a front put on because they believe a part of growing up is to begin living in the 'real' world. Meanwhile, Kaylie believes and I hope she always will. Someday, maybe she'll become attuned enough to see the angels and fairies too. |
| Well late last night I downloaded the Australian Governments e-Tax. I'm not looking forward to Tax Time too much this year because I expect to have trouble working out what I need to put into my return. I mean I've been separated six months now so for half of the year I was partnered and for the other half single. How do you explain that on your Tax and does it mean I should include information about his taxable income at all, half, or all? I've also got to figure out all this stuff about the Baby Bonus. I know I should be eligable for about $500AUS Baby Bonus for Joshua. I missed out on the $3000 Maternity Payment because he was born a couple of months before the July that was instigated. I also understand that as a parent of children under 5 I should get some other bonus top up. Basically I'm pleased about Tax Time because it means I should get a pretty decent rebate. But I have no idea how to fill in my return this year. It's complex. Thankfully, you can't get busted for filling it in so long as you do the best job you can with the information they give you. So I'll put down all the information I have and leave the accountants on their end to figure it all out.But while I've started filling in my Tax Return I've still got to wait on the government to send me out my group certificate for my pension payments. I hope they won't take too long. I like to get my return in asap because the sooner you get it in the quicker it can get processed and the quicker you get your rebate. Here's to getting a little cash from the politicians and hopefully getting a driveway out of it. |
| Well I managed to catch up with Paul myself this morning and he had a chance to see the kids via cam and for them to see him. He's doing well apparently and as I already mentioned will be staying in the US until August. Apparently he'll be starting to do a little work soon, mowing lawns or something, not sure exactly what that is all about but I'll talk to him online again tomorrow. He's really missing the kids and he bought something for Kaylie but every time he gets it out to wrap and send he remembers Kaylie and doesn't want to part with it. So I've told him I'll send him a few things from here that he can use to remind him of the kids. So far I've got a few of Kaylie's drawings/writing and I'm about to compile a few pages of photos. What else could I include? I did think of sending him one of her stuffed toys but I'm a little wary that people might think I'm smuggling something in them lol. Strange that. You have to be conscious of all sorts of customs rules and regulations when sending a package overseas. I thought about sending a toy car but maybe that'll set off metal detectors etc. I know you can't send most food products. Food products are also a reason to be wary of sending stuffed toys. Some these days are filled with rice or seed etc. Ok, so I added some of his mail, a small ball that may remind him of Josh and a small pony that will remind him of Kaylie (she loves ponies) Lots of photo's that I printed up with my new printer and had been taken with my digital camera over these last few months. Some of Kaylie's drawings and some of his Lord of the Rings figurines, I'm thinking he might want to paint them while he's there. He'll have to go get new paints and brushes because I expect he's left those here but there will be stores there that have them. I think that'll be enough. A small box of memories and a way to pass on some of the mail that had been building up over here. Like his mobile bill which he'll need to pay at some stage. Hopefully it's enough to make him send something back this way. Kaylie's really looking forward to getting something from America. Now, onward to the housework etc. *sighs* |
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