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601
601
Review of Cocoon  
Rated: E | (4.5)
WOW~~great comparison you show in your poem.
It works very well to get the message across.

Thanks for sharing this very inspirational and hopeful poem with us. Stanza 3 shows the surrender well!

Thanks for entering your poem in "Invalid Item"  and good luck.

Keep writing, Tammy
602
602
Review of Farewell  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for entering your poem in my "Invalid Item"  and good luck.

I like your goodbye poem.
I like this line and it really adds to the sadness of your goodbye:
'Why does my hand feel heavy as I wave nonchalant,'

Your ending is really good, as you wish your friend farewell with the promise to meet again.

Keep writing,
Tammy
603
603
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very honest prose you have here.
I hate that you feel this way.
I'm glad that you have a good friend like this in your life. It makes a lot of difference when you have someone on your side.

one typo I noticed:
In para 4 the last sentence doesn't make sense.

Welcome to the site. Have fun.
Tammy
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604
604
Review of Variety C-Notes  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great c-notes you have here.
They are all unique.
I like the reflection one the best.
Your prices are good.
I have added these to my favorites and will put them to use.
My only suggestion would be to create more, you are talented/creative with these!!
Thanks, Tammy
605
605
Review of Hope  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

My Overall impression:
I like your poem on hope.
I like the presentation of your poem, the
stanzas and the writing ML you use.

Suggestions/Errors:
In line 3;
I think you need to cut run...it's confusing the way you have it at end and it is not needed.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me. Keep writing, Tammy
606
606
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Neat poem, unique thoughts/subject to write on.
The rhymes you have are good.
Your poem flows well, and the repitition of your line works well.

Suggestions/Errors:
Watch your reptition of words.
Especially you, the and a in your poem.
Try using more of a variety of words.
Try using more descriptive words.
ex;
The clouds are a sliver
Instead of the...use blue or grey or puffy or etc...

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me. Keep writing, Tammy
607
607
Rated: E | (4.0)
Regrets, we all have them.
Great title, I love a good title!
I like the imagery you show, especially in the second stanza.

Suggestion:
Maybe expand a little on this. Get a little more personal on your feelings, on your regrets etc.
I think more details would enhance your poem.

Keep writing.
Tammy
608
608
Review of Luminesce  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Great poem. Your ratings/genres are good.
I wasn't sure what you were talking of at first..until the last stanza...I love the ending!
You capture how one feels towards their muse very well!

Thanks for entering your poem in "Invalid Item"  and good luck.

Keep writing.
Tammy
609
609
Review of A Flower Seed  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

I like your poem with the haiku stanzas.
I think the last 2 stanzas are the best and show great imagery.

suggestions:
Your poem reads a little choppy in places...seems almost technical.
Example:
Farmer with a seed
The seed goes deep in the ground
Soil covers the seed
Read this aloud, its just doesn't have much rythm or flow.

I think you could replace some of your filler words..the, and etc with more descriptive words.
Example:

In all colors shine
With green leaf thereby to shade
And thorns to protect
try;
Pink, red colors shine
With green leaf thereby to shade
Stiff thorns to protect
(something more descriptive...)
All just some suggestions.

Keep writing.
Tammy
610
610
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Great title. Neat that you include both translations.

Thanks for enetering your poem in "Invalid Item"  and good luck.

You stick to the 8-8 format well...only one line seems a little forced:
'It gave only scandalous scar.'

I like your stanza 4 the best. It ryhmes and flows well and says a lot.

Keep writing.
Tammy
611
611
Review of Night Sky  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very pretty poem. Your imagery is good through-out.
You capture the night sky so very well. Your poem is like a whimsical dream.

Suggestion:
Add some genres to this..maybe fantasy, romance...

Thanks for entering your poem in"Invalid Item"  and good luck.

Keep writing,
Tammy
612
612
Review of February Tulips  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Wink*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Flower2*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
The in-between seasons..it has it's good and bad points. You set this scene very well.

I like the part with the dead raising it heads..great imagery...I could see the peeking tulips.

*Flower4*Keep writing. Always, Tammy
613
613
Review of You Speak  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Wink*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Flower2*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
I like the way you have each stanza. Your poem is unique adn presented well. I agree with your topic and your poem brought up memories of an ex of mine.
The comparisons you make are different yet fit well.

*Flower4*Keep writing. Always, Tammy
614
614
Review of Loving A Friend  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for entering your poem in "Invalid Item"  and good luck.

Overall I like the topic you write on and the felings you are showing. Your color is appropriate for the poem but the boldness makes it seem harsh....which, actually, I guess that would work for this poem~~the bitterness of this love!

With this being a sonnet..I can't really make suggestions without changing the syllable count.

But my main suggestion is your repitions of the first letter of words in some of your lines..seems very forced. Is the repitition intentional...?

I'd work on changing that to improve the flow and sound of your poem.

Keep writing
Always, Tammy
615
615
Rated: E | (4.0)
Unique title, it should draw your readers in.
Your rating and genres are good.

I think we all have days like this.
You show well what it feels like to have a relationship end.

Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

Keep writing.
Tammy
616
616
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

*Flower1* My Overall impression:
Cute story. I like your ending...how you turn this back to you and own up to not showing responsbility.
Your title is good and very appropriate.

*Flower1*Suggestions/Errors:
I think in the beginning you need to set up your story a bit more. You don't tell us where Razzle comes from or really how you end up having the dog.
Maybeclarify that some.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me. Keep writing.
    Always, Tammy
617
617
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


*Flower1* My Overall impression:
Very strong words you have here..
Your poem flows well and says much!
You show the choices that we are all faced with at times in our lifes. I like the repitition of the first and last stanzas.
Makes a big impact doing it this way.
Thanks for sharing.

*Flower1*Suggestions/Errors:
I wouldn't change a thing!

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me. Keep writing.
    Always, Tammy
618
618
Review of Volcano  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

*Flower1* My Overall impression:
I like the subject you are writing on.
You make some unique comparisons in places.

*Flower1*Suggestions/Errors:
Your poem is unclear.
If you didn't have in the title about'no more war,' the reader wouldn't know that is what you are speaking of.
You briefly mention, the Dad dying in the war..but the flowers at the beginning, the part was 'she is running, No flying'..that's a contradiction in that line..it all adds up to make this seem confusing.

I get that this is a proud mother whom doesn't want her son to go to war. But as I said if you didn't mention the war in the title it would be really hard to dicipher what you are saying.

Just clarify a little...be a little more specific with this. Set it up a bit more.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me. Keep writing.
    Always, Tammy
619
619
Review of Warm Traces  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

*Flower1* My Overall impression:
I like the way your whole poem is like a mirage...which helps to show the image that's not there.(I'm not sure if that makes sense but...)

Anyway, great poem, your words are very poetic and flow into each other. I like your title and how it's worked into your poem.
Thanks for sharing.

*Flower1*Suggestions/Errors:
I wouldn't change a thing!

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me. Keep writing.
    Always, Tammy
620
620
Review of Sol's Farewell  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


*Flower1* My Overall impression:
Unique subject to write on.
Your tribute to the sun is described and shown very well.
I like how you almost give the sun and night physical attributes...making the imagery really good.

*Flower1*Suggestions/Errors:
Only one:
Try changing the And in line 2 to then, it flows better.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me. Keep writing.
    Always, Tammy
621
621
Review of Knowing True Love  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


*Flower1* My Overall impression:
What a very romantic love poem.
Your words flow very prettily and evoke emotions of love and happiness.
These are some great feelings you show/express.
You show well what love means for you.
I think we all dream of a love like this.
Did you show this to whomever prompted you to write this?

*Flower1*Suggestions/Errors:
Only one~~~A more creative/unique title to go with this great poem.
suggestions from you poem:
My Gift
I Know What Love Is
A Blessed Love
Your Caressings
(Not sure if that last one is proper but it sounds good! lol)

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me. Keep writing.
    Always, Tammy
622
622
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


*Flower1* My Overall impression:
I really like the way you have your poem, with the repititions of the words for the last 5 lines!

You express your feeling very well. You show us readers what you see...not just tell us.
Good job!

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me. Keep writing.
    Always, Tammy
623
623
Review of The perfect girl  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for entering your poem in "Invalid Item"  and good luck.

Very romantic poem/proposal you have here. I hope you showed it to your loved one. I like the title and how it shows your love for her as well as you words in the poem.

suggestions:
You have some punctuation..a couple of periods..I think a poem should have punctuation through-out or no punctuation at all.
Maybe go back and add some puntuation to this. Put a close/period to some of these thoughts.

Keep wriitng,
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624
624
Review of Struggle  
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a romantic poem...I like the colors and the presentation of your poem. Your title is good.

My favorite lines:
'I laugh and play for all around to see
while silent tears amass behind the smile.'

suggestion:
Just one, in line two I think But would sound better than and.

Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

Keep writing, Tammy
625
625
Review of Symbols of Love  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Neat prompt to write from.
Hard question to answer.
I think everyone's answer would be different.

Your title is good and apropriate.
The symbols you show regarding love are good and unique in some ways. The cat/the squirrels...

I like your thoughts on the butterflies and the rose.
Those a great symbols.

Keep writing.
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