Hello Amber, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your poem, "Maybe Tomorrow, But Still Not Today," and thought I would leave some comments.
Quite inspirational really, especially the last lines, " So stop focusing forward, but don't you look back, enjoy what you have got and not what you lack." very wise words.
One suggestion: "Maybe tomorrow the pain will gone," should read, "Maybe tomorrow the pain will be gone."
Hello GizzardBiscuit, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your chapter, "3 too many," and thought I would leave some comments.
I am not sure what it is about yet as you only have the introduction written. But you have some good imagery of the house and surroundings. The house sounds very grand indeed.
You have a few mistakes :" My brother who is five years younger then me," should read, "My brother who is five years younger than me." Also ,"Doesn't make since to me," should be ,"Doesn't make sense to me."
Hello Paula2610, I welcome you to WDC, if I have not done so already.
I have just read your poem, "Over In That Country," and thought I would leave some comments.
Overall Impression: I think you have captured the two quite different Countries very well in your poem. I think we do seem to block out what happens to people in Countries constantly at war. As you describe in verse five. "We switch to easy listening, for we do not want to hear."
Suggestions: No suggestions, your poem says it all and I see no errors in spelling/grammer.
Hello Kathlyn, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your poem," Best Within," and thought I would leave some comments.
Overall Impression. The poem describes a struggle with a mental illness, a beast that takes over from time to time.
Suggestions/ Grammer/ Spelling, I think you may have meant the title to be,"Beast within?" as that is what you seem to be describing. Also in line, " Teeth like dagers piece the skin," should read, "Teeth like daggers pierce the skin."
Hello Kuujamzs, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. You will find there are a lot of nice people here willing to help.
I have just read your item, "Why Do We Let People Mistreat us?" And thought I would leave some comments.
I do agree with you, it is our faults. We tend to get in a bit of rut I think and seem to accept how people treat us. We should change our way of thinking and know we all deserve better.
Hello GE210, I have just read your story, "A Story About A Dog," and thought I would leave some comments.
Overall Impression: I thought this a great story, I loved what you called him,"Beggar." I think I would have stayed too at the thought of that lovely bread! Great imagery too.
Suggestion: The only thing I would change is the Title, rather than, "A Story About A Dog," I would have gone for, "Beggar." But that is just my opinion.
Hello Lycan, how are you? I have just read your poem, "Revelations," and thought I would leave some comments.
First of all yes you have posted it correctly.
Overall Impression: I read this a few times and each time thought it more beautiful. I can tell it was written from the heart, for your friend who you consider more than a friend. The last lines finish it off beatifully.
Hello M. Fletcher, welcome to WDC. I have just read your poem, "Ice Queen," and thought I would leave some comments.
Overall Impression : I thought this very well written. A description of someone who has been hurt and will not risk that hurt again so she builds walls of ice. I think perhaps we may have all done that at some time in our lives only to find them melting away when someone special comes along.
Suggestions: The only suggestion I would make is the title, I think perhaps "The Ice Queen," would sound better. But that is just my opinion.
Hello Josh and welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here. Please feel free to e-mail me should you need any assistance.
I have just read your item," Compromise," and thought I would leave some comments.
overall Impression: I think this is great advice and so true. We are all the same under our skin and sexual preferences. We should all learn to love not hate.
sugeestions: I would split this up into a couple of paragraphs, it does make it easier for the reader.
Punctuation/Grammer/Spelling: You have, I noticed, used some text slang, "u," instead of "you".
Hello Jess, how are you? I have just read your poem, "Poof," and thought I would leave some comments.
Overall Impression: The poet obviously writes of someone who could not cope perhaps with the "demons," she carries and so left with no warning. Unfortunately we cannot all be sympathetic to these things and feel they may hold us back.
Suggestions: Just my own opinion but I do not think the title does it justice. I understand the meaning, "Poof," just disappeared without a trace, but I feel it is not alluring enough for the reader.
Punctuation/Spelling/grammer: "That youd love me," should be, "That you'd love me," also "ive," should be, "I've."
Hello Cranda and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. Please feel free to e-mail me should you need any assistance.
I have just read your advice, "Change," and thought I would leave some comments.
Overall impression: I could not agree more. We should all stand up for what we believe in and make our own lives. Whether that means going it alone or not.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammer. In line "its time to let go and move on." Should read "It's time to let go and move on," I notice you have its instead of it's a few times. Also wont should be won't.
Hello arishay and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. Please feel free to e-mail me should you need any assistance.
I just read your short story/advice, "Candy Life," and thought I would leave some comments.
Overall Impression: I am not sure if this advice is to yourself or perhaps a friend? But good advice indeed. We should never be afraid to fall and always stand up again.
Suggestion: I think the piece would read better and be more interesting if you did not use text slang. I think the word "You," is much nicer to the eye than, "U."
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammer: Again I think the use of text slang spoils the read.
Hello Poetess4Life and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. Please feel free to e-mail me if you should need any assistance.
I just read your poem, "Seasons Of Change and thought I would leave some comments.
Overall Impression: I thought this a lovely poem of the seasons. Of course it can mean life too, we all go through these seasons of change. I liked the way you have rhymed the poem. Traditional rhyming is my preference.
Suggestions: I have no suggestions for improvement, I think it fine as it is.
Hello Jul, welcome to WDC. I have just read your short story, "The Job," and thought I would leave some comments.
Overall impression: I think you did well here for 100 words, horror indeed. I think I would have passed out too after finding that corpse!
Suggestions: Children Asylum, would read better as Children's Asylum, also in line, "Craig found amusing," reads as though there is a word missing, I would have said , "Craig found it amusing." Just my opinion though.
Punctuation/Spelling/grammer: I did not see any error.
Hello Simona, I just came across your poem, "Word," and thought I would leave comment.
It can be very hard to love someone that does not show the same. It leaves us feeling insecure. There is coldness in their words rather than sincerity. Your poem describes this feeling very well.
The only thing I would say is in the lines, "Love you too, I feel is a word," is actualy three words. Perhaps if you took out "you too," it would read better. But that is just my opinion.
Hello Simona,welcome to WDC. I have just read your poem, "The Birth Of Hate," and thought I would leave some comments.
Overall Impression: Memories of childhood, some things can have a profound affect on us. Your description of the butchers must have been very frightening indeed.
Suggestions: In line, " On their heads I stop. I stare," Reads as if you stopped on their heads. A comma or fullstop should be between heads and I stop.
Thought provoking poem.
Sanita
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sanita200/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/30
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.54 seconds at 6:11am on Jul 03, 2025 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
Overall Impression: I think you have captured the two quite different Countries very well in your poem. I think we do seem to block out what happens to people in Countries constantly at war. As you describe in verse five. "We switch to easy listening, for we do not want to hear."
Suggestions: No suggestions, your poem says it all and I see no errors in spelling/grammer.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammer: I see no errors.
Favourite part: The ending, I thought it amusing.