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Retired. Never an obligation 3,777 times…minus two or three thousand more (when a zealous-whatever programming made me) before MY lobby saved the rest, thanks to response with consideration and generous reply to put up with me.
 
I get a hang up on stats and what’s right. Blame baseball historians. Apparently, I can’t hear the societal norm above the NOISE IN MY HEAD! WHAT? Oh…you were saying?
 
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1301
1301
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Lexi,

I really liked the use of the movie titles with "Fighting For Freedom" Open in new Window. with primarily the Armageddon theme and doubt about how it will all play out with the message of God's promise.

It didn't seem forced and I liked the voice it suggests some innocence in this search for the final truth. Makes me wonder if this is what we are fighting for now and if what has happened so far is only a small sampling of what is yet to come.

This poem had a good pace, and I liked the message at the end. About the movie titles -- did you get to pick any ones you wanted, or did you have to choose from a list? I think it is challenging when you are limited, but it inspires creativity.

Good job with this.

Brian

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1302
1302
Review of A Simple Girl  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Would this be construction paper that was left in the sun or water damaged, or both? *Smile*

The physical representation of this person speaks volumes in its plain, down to earth manner. But pure, this one can dream and aspire with the ability to shine on the outside with the manner of pride and self-worth.

Such a useful way to express how to accept oneself as is and not try to compete or compare with others. Just be yourself, is what this says, and so much more. You can still dream, you can still put your heart out there and hope, take risks and be a survivor.

Such effective imagery in the midst of this poem, too...

My dreams are
folded in my pocket.
My inspirations are
written on my heart.
My fragile love is
hung on a thread,
and my naked mind is
complicated by
this intricate world.

Aside from the repeated stanza, this says it all in its romantic, dreaming way. I really enjoyed this one, Lexi.

Brian


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1303
1303
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Visually, that third stanza captured my attention and made me feel it should have been the open to this poem. With the innocence and active imagery to tug at heart strings of readers, "The Faces on Milk Cartons" Open in new Window. opens the door to the cold, harsh reality that beautiful ones like this wind up on milk cartons and missing children posters.

You put a face on these unexplainable, inexcusable atrocities...perhaps, even trying to reach into the criminal minds of the perpetrators to claw at their consciences.

That opening is effective. But I would think it better used as a repeated hook to lace together several depictions of beautiful children, carefree, innocent, unknowing of what evil would befall upon them.

Very effective writing.

Brian

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1304
1304
Review of Aggression  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
When I read this and imagined these stanzas as expressions for what parts of the storm represent, I was amazed at how I could imagine these just like what occurs before and during the storm.

The first stanza needs no explanation. I got to this descriptive representation of precipitation and imagine its might as it rains down.

The third stanza gets even more interesting and teases my auditory recollection of the sound of this heavy precipitation like hail slamming against the hard walkways and street.

The last stanza is the physical representation of the thunderous storm and claw like lightening. Of course, in my mind. But that is what I imagined as I read these very descriptive passages that were a pleasure to consume.

Brian

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1305
1305
Review of November Rain  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Again, Kitti!

Now see, I would have got all the song titles, but you went and spoiled it for me. *Smile*

I could sense something taunting the musician, the unplayed instrument, memories of failures in life and/or love, or the inability to express the above through music.

The November Rain song title was a good start, and brought full circle with the artist trying to echo the melancholy precipitation (see how I avoid repeating the word for H20? *Laugh*).

Maybe, Paradise City seemed forced in that mix. But "November Rain" Open in new Window. aptly depicts this person with the blues, even if nothing from that music genre wound up in the mix! What's up with that? (There I go again *Smile*)

The Angel Army sent me. I'm just here so I can get my wings.

Brian

"Invalid Item" Open in new Window.
1306
1306
Review of The Crying Man  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Sort of a sad cycle of life for one living down an act that lasted a lifetime and eventually took this man's life.

It's great storytelling. I was consumed by the storyline and was disappointed only by the ending. It was sad the cycle could not be broken, that he would leave this life, his children to the same insecurities that he suffered.

I could imagine the hardships of a woman raising a boy in a time when the church and orphanages were imposing components of society. This flawed logic and inability to cope with life is wimpy. Taking his life in the end might have been an attempt to show strength in his weakness. Sort of a sad, selfish act.

I'm definitely in awe of the way this is related in rhyme with the social conditions and the mechanations of the mind.

Brian
1307
1307
Review of So In Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is sort of an iconic rememberance of a couple who dared defy their families to forge a life together and their love.

I was captured by the third stanza...

George runs his hand over the shiny wood,
He loves carpentry and if he possibly could
He'd make many benches just like these,
So that weary people could take their ease.

This was a very effective moment that put me in the moment with that man's observance of this bench...

I go tripped up by that open with the use of 'wrench'. I found it awkward and slowed the read.

But very comfortably told with a light and easy rhythm and rhyme. A pleasure to read, actually.
1308
1308
Review of Touched By Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a lovely expression of love for another and captures it with some unique imagery and some melancholy in the process.

I was struck by these lines...

As if through rose-tinted glasses I see,
The sunshine behind drops of rain,
The greyest of skies still look blue to me...

This reads like a poem within a poem. You capture an image of radiance, colored and hiding behind tears. And with the last line suggests that even in the darkest moments, still beautiful. This was the highlight of the poem for me.

Brian
1309
1309
Review of Last Walk  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Sounds like someone with a phobia. These unrealized fears, metamorphical and yet seeming unreal. Perhaps, even paranoia.

I could feel the confining, frustrating journey here and could relate to the hardships of life that can wear someone down in this way. I would think this imagery could be illuminated even more to show this struggle. Possibly, give more of a scenary to this metaphorical setting. Symbols that suggest the struggle. Obstacles that get in the way.

Does the ending suggest this person gave up on life literally or figuratively? Perhaps that is for the reader to decide.

Brian
1310
1310
Review of Moonlight Legend  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
"Moonlight Legend" Open in new Window. is such a thoughtfully constructed insight in to the mind of someone thinking about a friend/love who took those suicidal tendencies too far.

It opens in a way that puts it all in perspective, looking upon the night sky -- something that is unexplainable to many, to the naked eye, just as with this unnecessary, untimely death.

What you also show is reflection in a moment, trying to put this all into perspective and then give that deeper introspect about what happened.

These words were compelling, read fluidly and brought me to the melancholy the narrator depicts. It is extremely moving and saddening about how one, so damaged by life, needs to feel pain, feel life is by taking it.

I did catch a few minor blemishes...

...knife to(o) close...

...that she exist(s)...

This is such a welcome sight at Writing.Com and good to have some new members with a fresh eye for writing. You showed me something with this. I will be paying your portfolio another visit to see what else you have to offer.

All The Best,

Brian Keith Compton
1311
1311
Review of Disloyalty  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is very powerful and with the religious icons and their stigmas that are related to the human condition.

You've shown that despite the course of all those centuries, we still face the same obstacles. And convincingly.

This read so smoothly and delivered such a well stated message that leaves no doubt to the reader. It was a very satisfying piece of writing to consume.

I think the only thing I was thrown by was the order these characters were introduced...primarily the first stanza. The first thought went to my thinking, is this person comparing themself to Jesus. Reading the following passages diffused that notion. Perhaps, a different order would eliminate this hurdle for some who might have a similar thought triggered by that stanza.

Overall, just a brillliant and entertaining poem. Glad to have you here as a member of Writing.Com. I hope to read more of your work in the future.

Brian Keith Compton
1312
1312
Review of Grown Up  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful revelation and a great epiphany put into words for others to see the honesty and realism.

This is well written and concise and is a great essay on the subject. Many might not think that it would take this long to consider themselves an adult, because they would say I can vote, I can drink, no discussion.

But to me, adulthood is in the way you perceive yourself in society and how you function within. No doubt, getting under a roof of your own, paying the bills and having all that responsibility gives one that sense that they can manage. And it sounds like you've got a great handle on it and are very comfortable with where you are. And you feel the empowerment, which is great, because you know you have clout and can use it to help with that survival instinct.

And hopefully, you know, you can always be as young as you want to be. It's a dual role! You can have fun now that you have taken responsibility. I say, if you work hard, play hard. It's a great feeling, and you're living proof!

Great job with this!

Brian
1313
1313
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like what you have done with this poem about writer's block. It shows you put some thought into its construction when you make reference to the writer shutting off the utilities, the sensory devices.

There is a sudden leap from this realization into the metaphorical court where you are the only witness, plaintiff, defendant, prosecutor, defender and judge. Kind of sounds funny when you put it that way. Kind of a kangaroo court. It's like you were your own posse, too. A lynching mob, no less.

With the realization of the writer's unwitting attempt to self-medicate away any emotional tendencies to loose the creative juices, the tough soon reign it in.

This is realistic in the way the mind carries out these thoughts and have often did this to myself, but it kept happening and I wanted it to stop. Little did I know, it would take a good therapist to show me that I needed to be more understanding of my tendencies to tune stuff out. I just had to coax myself back out, acknowledgment that these things happen and move on. And like shampoo, you need to rinse and repeat (a lot!).

Sometimes, the brain is trying to tell you take a rest. Do something to reward yourself, clean the slate. Then step back into it with a fresh look.

No one has solved writer's block. As someone once said (a sports metaphor) 'you can't stop (it). you can only hope to contain (it).'

Thanks for sharing this. I love writer's block pieces to analyze and give more thought to the process from the POV of others.

Brian
1314
1314
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
You don't write like no newbie I ever saw 'round here before. *Smile*

Your poetry is a welcome sight here at Writing.Com. This is so well written, you had me running for my Webster's before I could get half way through.

Some interesting word choices with their most unique definitions. I was able to piece this one together and got a greater appreciation for what went into constructing "The little stranger" Open in new Window..

The flower is a symbol of something beautiful and innocent that has little chance of survival, becoming hardened by life and dies alone.

Words that were uniquely devised here include fry = people or things that seem insignificant; stager = experience, old hand, veteran; and spleen = melancholy, low spirits...

It sort of encapsulates the melancholic existence...so much promise and yet nothing.

Excellent work. I will have to visit your port sometime and see what else you have to offer.

Happy New Year!

Brian Keith Compton
1315
1315
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
This poem had a chorus and wondered if it was intended more like lyrics or if there is some for to this piece.

I get the image of the warrior in a battle for love as an extended type of metaphor. But I think this could be edited to speed the read and get the emphasis on some of the active language within that hold me as a reader.

That first line wasn't a good hook, cliche even. It's a statement and doesn't show me anything to start.

I think the repeated stanza should be used three times maximum, but beginning and end works just as good. Keep the focus on the fight and the imagery that can show us, help us imagine the fight in the terms you describe.

This piece shows some promise with some editing. Looking up now, I see this is an older item. So you may already be happy with the finished product, and I can understand that. But hopefully, my suggestions will come of some use.

Brian
1316
1316
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
What an unexpected surprise and pleasure to be recognized by the People's Choice Newsletter. And my entire port, no less.

I had to do some quick tidying up, in anticipation of all the company you have sent my way. Thanks for the extra exposure!

Brian Keith Compton
1317
1317
Review of Thankful Escape  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This poem shows that contrast and confliction of the mind when one attempts to sun bath and forget the worries of the world, finding it's not so easy.

Did catch a missing word in this line...Nothing stops thinking, even (in) this beautiful place...

Well stated effort about the toll of this war and especially related to this stanza...

A subversive sea of hate mists and covers truth,
Sadly goes the relentless march of doomed lost youth.
Given in an unknown land, each has sacrificed a life,
There's no return to daughters, sons or waiting wife.

It makes me stop and think is it worth the lives we take away from the ones who need the soldiers at home.

I had just learned the other day that more soldiers have died in iraq than the lives lost in those buildings on 9/11.

Ah, sweet slumber. The cure for many ills.
1318
1318
Review of A Pearl in Gold  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
So this would be loving someone from afar then. I liked the way this was portrayed as a lonely king on a throne with the use of light to crown.

It also seems to read like someone who is too beautiful to love. Perhaps, not daring to encounter for fear that this one could not compare.

That glance was returned. But nothing came of it. But that moment seems to be stored like the precious jewel because the dream is more likely greater than what could have possibly followed in this narrator's mind. To hold on to the paradise divine scheme and put the words in poem make it an indelible memory.

Well Done.

Brian KC
1319
1319
Review of The Axe  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
So this is about a beheading?

Just kidding. I hope you don't get that a lot. I here it can happen, though.

Your use of imagery to deliver that blow to end the relationship is vivid and gives more of the feeling of how a moment like this must feel.

I read it twice and this is what I gather: He doesn't want the relationship to end. He has criticized that she doesn't do enough for herself (or them) and too much for others. And in a sense, he's suggesting she can't end it because she doesn't have it in her because it is in her nature. There is the contradiction in his mindset.

So was I right? I thought this to be well thought out and told in a way that left me no doubt. The ending could be seen as her freedom from a lifestyle that has burdened her and the axe had to fall there to make it happen.

Nice work for an underrated work. Hope I read it right.

Brian *Smile*
1320
1320
Review of My Gift to You  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a superb gift of words to thank the hospitality of those who accept you in their heart and home.

Great use of sensory devices and visuals to put me there in that home. The open hooked me and could imagine myself in the narrator's shoes. I was struck by the yellow light on the snow and as with quick video editing, or even dreamlike, we are flashed forward and put in front of that fire to take in the homey atmosphere that welcomes this soul that seems to have been wandering in search of a place to rest such as this. This could also serves as flashbacks of the memory to recount the warmth of these receptive hosts.

A great holiday, seasonal piece that is a pleasure to have read at a time like this. Thank you for sharing this gift with this reader.

Brian

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1321
1321
Review of Rainy Night  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
"Rainy Night" Open in new Window. could be like an allegory for the relationship between this couple. Visually, a nicely drawn picture of this scene and could get a feel for this stealing away in the night from her lover.

What made it more intriguing, and why it seemed like an allegory, was the narrator is supposedly asleep. And from the account, actually is. But there is this ability to imagine what is happening and that is why I believe he sees her slipping away from the relationship in this way.

Got a great feeling for the sensory devices in play that helped bring this piece to life.

Well done.
1322
1322
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Man's indirect connection with the wolves, as an observer of their grisly nature, is depicted quite vividly in "The Wolves of Winter" Open in new Window.. Reads fluidly and complimented by rhyme.

Had a thought about what the wolves were stalking. The way it reads is they are stalking the lake and not animals, though I understood the intent.

One thing I spotted spelling/grammatical...

who's(whose) time is all but gone...

I enjoyed the depiction of the Grisly Bear, too.

The activeness of those last two lines stayed with me well after the poem was finished. Almost gave me the feel as the reader of being the one who envisioned this scene. I thought it was a nice touch.

Brian
1323
1323
Review of Joy To the World  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
That part about the mother and child was extremely compelling. I am moved by this relation of a dream story that could grasp me around the shoulders and give me the warmest hug.

You put me in that moment and I loved how you relate yourself to what I could assume was a snowflake adrift before being trapped in that tree. You use personification within the dream to be a sort of angelic part of nature.

I wanted to explore this on a deeper level to interpret the dream. But its beauty on the surface is enough to capture and hold this reader's attention.

If I were to take a deeper look at "Joy To the World" Open in new Window., the dream seems to be a reflection on the narrator, viewing themself. But because of the angelic capacity wanting to restore health and happiness to the child, it would seem to transcend the dreamer -- To be as something as wondrous as snow, grabbing that child's attention and seeming to pull the child out of that spell.

Thank You, Jaycee for this beautiful offering!

Brian KC
1324
1324
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Love is like a sunny beach. I could picture myself getting settled in, nestled in that spot you describe that depicts the way you feel for another.

In a way, the beach is a representation of the invitation that is the narrator. But in the third stanza it moves, the setting in the place where one can absorb the sun's rays like love.

I started reading that last stanza almost like an ode to the sun, but it is also comparative of the other who's warmth is like our radiant star. The last line that threw in a description of thinning hair seemed out of place. It did personal the poem for the one intended, but sort of broke up the visual imagery already being conjured up in my own mind. But that's just my personal take.

I enjoyed this connection to nature as a metaphor for love. Well done.

Brian

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1325
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Review of I'D Love To  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
"I'D Love To" Open in new Window. gave me plenty to contemplate as to the intent of the message behind the poem.

'I'd love to slowly die to lie awake with you...'

...seemed like a contradiction in terms, but I read it to mean this dying is something else, like being next to one who kills the soul, perhaps?

The next line gnaws at me more...

'Can you see your life reflect a world of shame on summers rainy days...'

There's no punctuation to put this in the form of a question. I wonder if this person is laying next to themself having inner dialogue at this point. There is the lower case reference to self, demoting one's position.

But by the end, I'm turning back to this notion of someone who wants another, like an addiction, in their life to be happy, yet slowiy die. This could be like a recovering alcoholic or drug addict.

It presents some interesting insight into the thought behind this poem. The author does not describe a subject, perhaps to be coy, or not able to directly confront.

Whether deliberate or unintentional, I think this is a very intriguing piece of writing.

Brian

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