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I get a hang up on stats and what’s right. Blame baseball historians. Apparently, I can’t hear the societal norm above the NOISE IN MY HEAD! WHAT? Oh…you were saying?
 
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1201
1201
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Wow, Georgia!

That title and the following description line were all I needed to get the imagination going. That is a meaty topic for such a short form like the haiku. I give you credit for this. It just captured me to think of the potential of squeezing all of what you intend into this short form. It made me wonder if it could be created outside of the haiku to bring it to a fuller life.

The haiki itself is stilted a bit and perhaps not as active with verbs and their tenses like 'fights' and 'to die'. I like the notion behind this and it conjures up a thought about the interaction and the meaning of such an encounter. It also gives these characters personalities beyond being pets or objects of adoration.

Brian

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1202
1202
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the thought of wind and rain as nature's breath. The short form of the haiku does not do justice to this notion of yours. Would like to see this fleshed out some more.

The last line I didn't know how to apply...'a bit or alot'...I believe 'alot' is not a word. Would have liked some more active one syllable words in that line to bring the wind and rain to life as nature's breath...words that could stimulate the senses like fire, chill, sting, etc.

Just some notions for this haiku of yours, if you are looking for that kind of input. I would work outside the haiku box with this one, to really harness what you've created. I think you can do much more damage with the elements, as they relate to nature, and fill out this personification thing you've got going for you.

Brian

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1203
1203
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow, you cover it all in this very well written poem. You really don't even need to put this to rhyme or poetry. This stands strong as prose and delivers some direct hits. If only more people would intone these feelings instead of turning a blind eye to the politic process that mutes the masses.

Keep up the great works!

Brian

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1204
1204
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done, Viv.

Very well constructed and thoughtful exercise for the reviewers out there. I think everyone should read this and give consideration to the review process. Before entering a review, it's good to have some structure or approach to laying out those thoughts. It's a lot more than some would consider, but after reading this, at least it is in the back of their mind.

Very insightful and hopefully encouraging to those who trouble with putting down their helpful thoughts.

Brian

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1205
1205
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Do you think there are more WDC members who are no longer with us whose disappearance has gone unnoticed?

These folks included here must have made a lot of friends at WDC, making it possible to know that they had departed this world.

But what about the many others who were alone, now just floating free in cyberspace...and no one to guide them home to a place to be memorialized?

I feel bad for those who may have left us while they were all alone because no one took the time to take an interest or failed to get to know them. Many people die alone, in their lonliness. Sad to think of the many who are gone, unnoticed. It's fortunate to have this memorial for those we do remember. Sad that others will never be missed.

Brian

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1206
1206
Review of Changing Colors  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Chameleon or schizophrenic? There's sort of a 'I dare you' feel to this piece. It's taunting but playful.

The poem is for the most part fluid and maintains a rhyme scheme that is not forced and helps with making the read pleasurable.

It has a conversational, telling tone to it. There is some descriptive uses, but this person is spelling it all out and yet being elusive in the same sense.

Provacative and tempting work.

Brian

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1207
1207
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Our purpose is not to know that God exists, but to believe)/i} that he exists. Sometimes, the most real things are that which we cannot see. Can we trust what we see? Can we trust what we know? Can your friend employing the same logic disprove that God actually exists? Can he explain why we exist and are sustained in the manner to which we are accustomed? There are many things science is too ignorant to answer. There can be no argument either way. We must BELIEVE.

Great article. The discourse is a bit too brainy for me, though I could drawn the author's meaning from the jungle of words!

Brian

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1208
1208
Review of Help Us Help YOU!  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Again SM,

I had considered some of these ideas and more. I'm thinking about doing a bit of traveling to locations where writers have conferences where I can share information about WDC.

I figure I can promote my works through the business card idea and give people my insights first hand. Another way to meet and greet would be to visit readings like open mic nights or book clubs. If i can't be present, I contact book club leaders and ask them to share WDC info. Thought about researching book clubs and sending emails, letters and phone calls to see how many new readers I can drum up.

I find all kinds of readers groups greatly outnumber writers groups. I think the angle is to get them to come to WDC and participate in reading emerging writers and all the fun stuff -- and while at it, try their hand at writing, too.

I think promoting the base of non-writers could immensely increase community participation, and the fun level. My wife is part of a reader's club and hosting an event next month. I plan to get the signed up to share online and see if I can get an online reading club and make use of online interactive tools here.

Most writers don't have the time to divide between craft and play to form alliances. But those who have more free time can motivate the rest of us and and have fun doing it. They spend 29 days playing and reading. I spend 29 days writing, reading, editing and reviewing...and on day 30 we party!

Just some thoughts.

Brian

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1209
1209
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I really don't think it's possible to tell a story in 55 words or less, for that matter a vignette...call it what you like.

But it's possible to describe something from something larger to make a person want to read more into that moment.

You could take the shortest passage from the Bible and apply it to a story, merely because we understand the motivating factors behind the words, "Jesus Wept."

But in 55 words, there's no character or plot development unless we can borrow from words or references with deep veins of meaning. In this case, I prefer to call it prose or poetry.

But I see this inpires a lot of participation. And a good notion to keep it brief, creative and to the point. It's likely it takes a lot of time just to wrack one's mind to come up with a short piece that provides a relatable story-like message.

Brian

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1210
1210
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi SM,

Some useful tips here that I keep forgetting I can do to get more hits at my page. Especially the part about emails -- I email so many people that this could ensure more visitors to my site and WDC.

I had the idea to put my name and address on a business card and provide an added incentive for anyone who joins WDC by sending them some gps. to get them started. Then I was going to hit book stores, libraries and college campuses and see how many of these I could hand out and what results I could get.

Are we able to incorporate the WDC logo on these cards, or would that look too much like we represent this website? Trying to think of eye catching graphix that people will immediately attach to when they arrive.

I hope to revisit increasing my web traffic in future, so I needed this to help me brush up on plans. I wish I could compare my hits with others on a daily basis to see rankings for this. Even stats on hits from date when one became a member or by case type.

I love following stats and using creative methods to determine what the figures mean and how I can make them work to my advantage.

Brian

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1211
1211
Review of She Is  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like your use of listing to invoke feelings about who 'she' is through the use of imagery, thoughts and the uses of sense and memory to put it all together.

This piece has a poetic charm to it, as well. Liked how you finish with the train metaphor, but wondered if the train is the wrong image for 'she'. Put the emphasis on the horn as the source of that sound when mentioning the train's sound to detract from the mechanical manly image. The forlorn sound is one of my favorites.

Nice way to wrap up the poem, too. Very distant, nostalgic, beautiful...all those thoughts and feelings about that distant wail come to mind to make for a sweet finish.

Brian

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1212
1212
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Those first two lines creating a striking visual and put me in a moment watching this bud fall in the crimson lit waters. It seems to set off some anguish, but from what I do not know. I can only imagine the forest denizens thinking this has happened too early. Would it be the start of something like fall, or the end of spring when this bud falls.

I can imagine all sorts of things with the visual and the suggestion seems to be late, as with life. It strikes at the reader's feelings about the brevity of a precious life and how it must be savored or appreciated before it is too late. Definitely some social commentary at work here with that last line.

Brian

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1213
1213
Review of Returning  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
That is a beautiful comparative allegory of oneself emerging anew like a flower that survives the harsh winter.

The opening didn't grab me right away. I think using a specific kind of flower such as a rose or a flower that returns from seed is a great way to bring more character and meaning to what you attempt to express. It helps a reader get a better visual. And selecting one with specific colors or smells helps associate with the kinds of feelings the narrator chooses to express about this reemergence.

This is definitely a great notion for a poem and with some development could be as spectacular as seeing this determined but needy flower reveal itself in full bloom.

Brian

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1214
1214
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Lots of anger with this poem. Politics has been something I have been intrigued by for many years. It amazes me how our country can put some of these people in office.

If I read a bit deeper into this, your remarks are more pointedly aimed at democrats who are posturing for the upcoming election. They are being devisive only to win votes. It's likely their agenda has nothing to do with the war.

It's good to hear people speak their mind. We shouldn't have to feel like we're walking around with muzzles on our faces. Every opinion counts. Keep up the good work.

Brian
1215
1215
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I was able to draw some images of someone sailing alone, perhaps at sunrise, but maybe sunset. But I prefer sunrise because of the taking wing part...it suggests beginning...renewal.

Some of the words seemed to contrast or work against each other and wasn't sure if the word combinations were meant to show this...for instance...

Deep blue sea shimmers

I think deep, I'm under the surface. But shimmers puts me on top...its like being and seeing two places at the same time. I want to look deep and yet I'm on a brilliant, shimmery plane that takes my eyes away. If I am reading too deeply into this, I'm sorry, but it is like wanting to search deep within, but enjoying this experience above that distracts one with happiness.

The second line has me looking at the sail, but then 'heels into foam.' I imagined this to mean the sailor has leaned his craft so far back that the tip of the sail touches the foamy water...like a parasailor. I'm assuming that's the surfboards with sails atop. And this is just the image I got. I really don't know how 'heel' may be intended here, but if it is like a shoe, it is putting its pointed weight on or into something.

The last line I had trouble interpreting. It's as if this craft has turned from a sailboat into a bird. It got me to thinking about some comparative relationship to show the gull like a sailboat. I had to go back to reread to see if I could find more identifying relationships that could make a complete transformation for me...but I could not.

It's like a magic trick, where this sail suddenly turns into a flying bird. I don't know exactly what you intend, but that is what I take away from the imagery. It is intriguing and an interesting haiku to read.

Brian Keith Compton
1216
1216
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This appears an attempt at personifying the wind as Zepyhr by capitalizing the word, making it earth born and showing its affect on nature. Sort of communing with the leaves and the bird.

My impression was this was a heralding of the emergence of spring. I wasn't quite sure how to interpret the second line...

Leaves to waves of blissful greens

My one thought was the wind sends away the dead leaves and exposes the freshly grown grass of spring.

It evokes some visual images that can also make me think of the freshness and smell of spring. Adding the Blue Jay includes an auditory reference, too. So it was nice those were all contained within to give a fuller effect.

Brian
1217
1217
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Commenting on the audio file that accompanies this, I find your delivery compelling and substantial in relaying these words to your audience.

Your voice is strong enough to carry this without the backing wind music. When you sing the one line, I felt that more of this could be sung.

The lines are impactful and well felt. You show a genuine concern for the well being of others and the world, a great sensitivity.


Brian
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1218
1218
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This was a beautiful setting for the song and I listened to the audio file and felt your delivery and voice added much more meaning to the words you have penned here.

Your style helped intone this message for a world to revert from its increasingly disturbing ways that lead to war and hate. It is a general message but one that is felt and well understood.

Brian
1219
1219
Review of Temperament Test  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I could see all kinds of different personality traits in myself with this quiz. I think the one answer that I felt I best identified with was...'You are a loner, but if someone wants to be your friend, you will be there for them no matter what.' I scored a 65.

But there were periods of my life I was a take charge guy. I was the one that wanted the rock on the basketball court. I was a one man show in radio for many years. As a manager I hired, coached, even fired up my employees to make my store number one is the chain.

I'm not that guy anymore. I would say I'm a relaxed, easy going person who doesn't like conflict or pressure. I confront it when it presents itself. I don't go looking for it. Although, if something doesn't come looking for me that should, then I get a little ticked off when it dosn't arrive. I might gripe about it, but there's nothing I can do about it. I just have to move on. I can't let things manipulate my mind.

I was also just as excited about math as I was about literature and the arts in high school. Psychology and literature were my favs though. Never took an interest in science until I realized how fascinating it was. Just took time and maturity to get a different perspective. Kind of like graduating to the broccoli that you would never touch as a kid.

I didn't relate to any of the biblical characters in the quiz and settled for Moses. Tough test.

Psychology is still merely speculation in my mind, though understanding what makes people tick has given us better insight to ourselves and others. But it's not exact science. And humans are evolutionary, adapting to the environment around us each day. I think psychology may have some catching up to do in the future.

Thanks for this quiz. I enjoyed it.

Brian
1220
1220
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"Invalid Item" Open in new Window. is like walking on the egg shells of a psyche that lingers over needs to feel protected and loved to those of a woman who has to be the parent, the spouse, who provides these things.

You break this down in four even parts that explain these desires that evolve from childhood and progress into womanhood. But the irony, or contrast, is in the open and close with these statements of wishes. From 'I still wish' to 'I so wish,' I learn how difficult it is for one to break the cycle of conditioning that begins early in one's life.

I don't know if it is intended, but in psychology terms this might deemed flawed logic. The phrase 'I should' puts a heavy burden on these shoulders before transitioning to the 'I so wish' component of the last stanza. It reminds me of the saying, 'Wishing doesn't make it so.'

As a result, I can sense this inner turmoil of the narrator from beginning to end. The safe, warm home with no worries of childhood has faded away. This narrator needs to make the leap over a widening gap while time runs out. It makes me think of walking into a classroom and finding out there is an exam you didn't study for. You know you must take the test and pass while realizing you're not up to the task.

I think the only suggestion I can make for this poem is with the transition with 'cause' that should have an apostrophe to show contraction...'cause.

I find "Spoilt - a bitter truth" Open in new Window. to be very relatable in a simple, straightforward and down-to-earth manner.

Brian

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1221
1221
Review of Friends Of Old  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
The theme of "Friends Of Old" Open in new Window. shows a contrast between distance in miles to the closeness of two hearts. It has this feeling like you've known someone all your life. Older, yet sharing like 'two girls,' I get a sense of helplessness over a fate that keeps them on each side of the ocean.

From that opening stanza, you establish characters, a setting with two continents, and the age of these two to help me get my bearings. That was a good way to introduce this. I felt you could be more active with these words, since there is a wistfulness to this piece. One suggestion I have is with showing this maturity. Another way to say it might be something like...

We share the same eyes
made wiser by life

I would avoid directly stating some things and play with words that can trigger an emotional of visual connection for your readers.

I wondered about the different paths. It was introduced but not described. It might give a reader an inkling of what you suggest. Maybe something more could be introduced to show where these paths are taking them. Is it with the distance? I assume so. But it could be more. Is it with choices that could be keeping the two from being as close as they once were or could be? Maybe not, but a reader could have doubt.

The second stanza begins with the 'two girls' reference. The words that are coming together here are meet, play, learn and bloom. I feel at this point, there needs to be a more specific metaphorical setting that those words could work on. My first thought was a garden. More of the flora or botanical with visions of butterflies and ivied arbors or fences with gates.

There are so many words that could work as metaphors to show this relationship between the two. Phrases like 'meet and recognize' just don't appeal to me. While 'play and learn' say something, one wonders what they should be visualizing. When you say they are like 'two girls,' my mind starts to work on how the narrator sees them as young at heart. A physical representation of that could illuminate how the friendship can be interpreted.

Geography is implied as an obstacle. With the suggestion of two continents, I start thinking of metaphors for things that show division. But in spirit, this can be contrasted by showing the connection that makes the miles melt away. And I also wonder about how they are communicating. My first notion is internet. The instant response to sharing thoughts can help two be in the moment. Telephone, mail or infrequent meetings are possibilities, so it makes me wonder what the physical makeup of this friendship could be. The spiritual can be fleshed out more, too.

You have a good concept with this poem. This reads like something that the two can share with an intimate knowledge of what it all means. Now, to find a way to bring the rest of us into this circle to fully share in this wonderful friendship.

Brian

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1222
1222
Review of Simple Truth  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I think you do well to open with listing things that are elemental and dependable as with the sunrise and then show how this revelation about love compares.

I found the overuse of the word 'Today' detracted from the message that you convey. Just to see what it would look like by just starting out with the time reference...

Today the sun arose at dawn
Rain fell from the sky
Warmth came from the sun
and I saw love in your eyes

Today I see that all is well
I hope for true love's kiss
You are beautiful to my eye
You bring me true love's bliss

Stated just like that, I think it stands on its own. Although, you could deleted the second reference to 'true love's' to find something else that could make a statement like 'eternal.'

What might be effective for that last stanza, though, is to turn on the word tomorrow. With that last part of the poem, I find the first two lines contradict the last two...

And now I hope you see that this
Is simply fact in all I say
And now I think you realize
That I love you more than words can say

It's like we're in the moment, but I don't get the narrator's realization of how the message is being received. Could it be in the eyes or some other sign to express this acceptance? And even 'think' isn't a very strong word. You could say, 'Now I know you realize...'

You have something here. I hope my comments will be of some help should you plan to make revisions.

Brian

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1223
1223
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You said a mouthful to put it simple. What a great use of the arts for visuals and to connect through this writing. And a footnote to boot that helped educate me.

I found some grand and eloquent expressions as with...

Remembering that once we missed the sun,
we’ll forget our spoiled feasts;
we’ll toast to learning and re-searched beauty,
with wine fermenting again.

As this relates to writing, I'm getting ... try not to think about what you didn't do, but what awaits. The narrator is acting like the muse (like Erato?) to, as you put it, 'entice my pen.'

Brian

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1224
1224
Review of When Mama Wrote  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm back for more. With "When Mama Wrote" Open in new Window., I get a great feel for the imagery with that opening stanza in words that read like abstract art...

Her words, plastic shopping bags in flight,
testing the wind,
in shrieks of joy...

The one thing I would point out, when I visualize this expression, goes to the size and weight of a plastic shopping bag. I see some big, heavy bags that might not get much lift and look awkward in flight. Some might be small, lightweight things that twist and twirl and fly up high. And I wonder if it is intended to show the variation, maybe even in color of these bags in flight.

I'm getting this manner of exuberance or light-heartedness, yet restrained or harnassed as with that ride. It sounds like a statement about a generation or environment that was tight-lipped. Some social or cultural presence that prevailed over this woman.

The second stanza I'm imaging something like handwriting analysis. Looking at the cursive and reading between the lines seems to reveal some of the hardness of life -- of being confined by the convention. And yet, still a dreamer with drowned expressions that seem to near surfacing.

In that third verse, I felt her fear to share what she wrote with others. Perhaps, this is more than just some journals or letters, but attempts at something like poetry. And then comes some visualization...

...but her fingers grip her head in a bony vise,
and her pencil, a bar, secures her in her seat.

Death. Imprisonment, maybe? The visuals seem to suggest something deeper about what she wrote or how writing affected her. Did it trap her? Does the narrator imagine this from what's been read. As a child, no knowledge of this type of frustration could have registered. But having grown up and becoming a writer too (as with the poem now being critiqued), a deeper glimpse into a woman that was not known is being discovered?

What I felt with the last two stanzas was a reincarnation of sorts. This woman is being revered now, remembered and appreciated with such warmth that it brings her back to life through her writing. The narrator gets a connection to the past in the present to relive feelings while clinging to those papers.

A very sweet ending.

Brian

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1225
Review of House of Solitude  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is what it feels like to be a writer and not have anyone to appreciate how this art form for the ideation of word creation flows through you.

You paint such a lovely, quaint setting that seems idyllic to the creative mind. Your style reveals some word play that includes small doses of alliteration in some word combinations. It feels like gliding over ice on skates with small bursts that help with the read of the text.

To me, the crux of this all is about the effort that goes into the craft -- the giving up of oneself to include heart, soul and mind when developing these words that will show a part of oneself, but will also convey to an audience of readers who can appreciate and understand every finer point and detail that goes in. And sadly, the writer feels that it will be all for naught in the end...

gifts of poetry and time
to be crumbled and thrown into trash
after I’m gone...

To me this says what you have to pass on will not be appreciated or embraced once the spirit has left. The loneliness that follows the frustration makes one wonder what makes a writer tick. They stall sometimes, but there's always inspiration, fate, the muses, whatever you want to call it that keeps it going. And then a fine piece of poetry like this is produced in the end. And perhaps, all the suffering and sorrow doesn't have to seem wasted.

Great job!

Brian

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