\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ripglaedr3/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/47
Review Requests: OFF
3,095 Public Reviews Given
3,777 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
 
Retired. Never an obligation 3,777 times…minus two or three thousand more (when a zealous-whatever programming made me) before MY lobby saved the rest, thanks to response with consideration and generous reply to put up with me.
 
I get a hang up on stats and what’s right. Blame baseball historians. Apparently, I can’t hear the societal norm above the NOISE IN MY HEAD! WHAT? Oh…you were saying?
 
Nope. Still just me. *Cat2*
 
What’s ringing the doorbell? Tinnitus??
I'm good at...
Nothing?
Least Favorite Genres
Who wants to know?
Favorite Item Types
Who wants to know?
Least Favorite Item Types
Who wants to know?
I will not review...
Who wants to know?
Public Reviews
Previous ... 43 44 45 46 -47- 48 49 50 51 52 ... Next
1151
1151
Review of My One and Only  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Brandi,

This is touching and can only imagine the tears it would bring to the eyes of the families who got to hear the words to this song come to life at their wedding.

It's simple and direct and has that working-class quality, the type of stuff that makes you root for a couple like this to succeed. It's all there from their values and their star-crossed fate to be together forever. This poem, the song, is like the bond that seals their destinies as one together.

This reads so clear and so fluid, the lyrics apt to be set to music. By adapting the words of others like this, and make it satisfactory to third party readers like myself tells me this was a complete and udder success on every level. Way to knock it out of the park with this one.

Brian
1152
1152
Review of All These Things  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I like it. Everyone should find definition in self like this. I did have to block out thoughts like "I am woman" by Helen Reddy or Popeye's "I am what I am," while I read. Not that this would be a distraction for others. But I like the message through the imagery about self, and I don't think that message gets lost in the "I am" driver that moves this poem.

Not a perfect rhyme but it does not slow the flow or the feel of the poem, as I read. I liked the second stanza best, it is the best themed with things related to seasons. Myself, I would focus on one theme like that to make an entire poem. It hones the vision of the piece. This poem is supposed to be all-encompassing, so I understand the need to show how versatile one is through various forms of imagery.

Thanks for sharing this with me and trusting me to comment. *Heart*

Brian
1153
1153
Review of My mind belongs  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
When I read this, all I can imagine is abortion followed by suicide. Not sure about the use of some of the words like 'desire', but when I move away from my initial thoughts about a man undressing before this woman, I realize this sense of 'unravel' might have a more sickening connotation.

Not a pretty poem to read and very dark. I can't find fault with the voice, as it seems true. I didn't understand 'the label fits the bill so tight'. Don't know what's being labeled. But the ending line makes me think, as this foetus is dead, then the woman shall die too.

This poem could really make a statement with better imagery. It's restrained but definitely not an E-rated piece, as it is currently labeled.

Brian KC
1154
1154
Review of Easier To Cry  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
There is a lyrical quality and some redeeming value in "Easier To Cry" Open in new Window. [E] that could really shine with some editing and more attention to detail.

I'm reminded of melancholy and how personal it is to the poet, how it could be shared and how one yearns for others to understand what it is inside of you. It's like the inspiration to write, knowing that a few penned words might reach another, to commiserate about feeling something in the 'very core of your soul.'

Some editing could help this piece, like adding a question mark at the end of line two and removing the '?' at the end of line three, so as not to interrupt the thought that flows into line four.

Per the second stanza, the first question poses a thought for me that is contrary to what the poet opines here. I would think that people would wish for rain in hopes that someone else might see your pain. Being unable to emote what is within, you hope for something from without to portray this, to cull the desired empathy to heal this soul.

The stanza does go on to talk about hiding, running away from these feelings. I think it is more encouraging and introspective to think about sharing this part of oneself. I think this poem could go further to explore what it is that either causes this one to hide true emotion in the rain, or offer up themselves in the midst of the storm so others can envision the flawed beauty of these moments.

Questions do stir the mind and something is brewing here. Yet, it is incomplete until the poet explores further, invoke more storm-like imagery to bring this one home.

Keep on Writing,

Brian
1155
1155
Review of My Mother's Hands  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for your entry in "The Red Wheelbarrow Forum" Open in new Window. [E]

Some imagery with hands that makes a reader appreciate how a mother gives and what it takes away from her life. There is a certain innocence to the voice of this piece. I wanted a more direct relation to how those hands were affected by the described events in her journey through life.

I think some more direct connection with those hands to some of the storyline would be most effective. This does show empathy and insight into the plight of women. I can really appreciate the writer's intent with this poem.

Thanks again for submitting,
Brian
1156
1156
Review of A Mother  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for entering in "The Red Wheelbarrow Forum" Open in new Window. [E]

This poem evokes lovely sentiment and would be the kind of poem any loving Mom could enjoy.

There were some effective elements to this piece that helped intone the strength and support a Mom provides. A bit uneven at times, but a poem with a little polish that could really shine.

I appreciate the attention to detail, giving the poem color. It ties up well in the end and was a pleasure to read.

Thanks for submitting,

Brian
1157
1157
Review of Mothers Day  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for entering your poem in "The Red Wheelbarrow Forum" Open in new Window. [E] and sharing with the rest of us.

This ode to Mom flows so well. I enjoyed reading such a fluid poetic work. I could imagine this is something many who read could relate with. I know if my Mom had read this, she would have enjoyed.

Just the right sentiment and a joy to read,

Brian
1158
1158
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I have been a part of a mentor a newbie program in the past. It really helps get the fullest appreciation and experience of this site to have a guide of sorts.

I assume this is open to members outside the Angel Army network. Would it be alright if I link this on my page and encourage others to apply as either a newbie or mentor?

I'm considering lending my support in the future and will keep watching the forum for some like minded writers who might want a consult such as I.

Thanks for creating this and pointing it out to me.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1159
1159
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This poll could also benefit from what information or reports that you've seen that help you draw up a poll like this. Software makers have plenty to gain, and at one time, they were so far ahead of the curve no one could know what they were up to. I wonder if these viruses began taking on a life or their own, when computer programmers started figuring out how they work and how they could make their own, or manipulate the original viruses.

I think among the reasons some viruses exist, is because people who do illegal stuff on the web want to protect themselves, so they don't get caught, and people unwittingly get into them, or the viruses are shared, manipulated and spread by other means.

I think software developers might be responsible for low thresholds for viruses, or looking the other way until someone knows they have to pay to steer clear of the stuff.

Either way, it's very frustrating that our government(s) can't step in and put the industry on notice, some kind of consumer protection, to make software that can't be penetrated by viruses, etc. Just like automakers are required to make more fuel efficient autos.

But this definitely is a question that is on the minds of many, and without any proof, software companies sit in that gray area until someone can prove otherwise.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1160
1160
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Over time, it is likely that more information/theories will come about to make this another one of those conspiracy plots that never gets proven, but widely talked about. It would appear the government and presidency got the country's attention after these attacks. But it may have been less about a call to patriotism, if the attacks were ordered. In all likelihood, taking away some of our personal freedoms, as with the Patriot Act, raises some bigger questions about changing the writing on the wall.

I only now come across this poll. But even years later, you have to wonder how one could suspect our president of being involved in something to this magnitude. Would we really be asking this question if that last plane was able to make its final rendezvous point, at the capitol? I don't know if our representatives were in any sessions that day, but would the president (or people who pull his strings) be sinister enough to put these powerful people in harm's way?

Great poll and one that could benefit from some links with any of the theories about the orchestration of the 9/11 events to help voters make up their collective minds.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1161
1161
Review of Taking Flight  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is very direct, very connected and real. I cannot imagine anyone who has flown before not relating to the way you describe the pre-flight experience.

Your narrative is so matter of fact and effective. To me this is more prose-like. I wanted a takeaway like reading between the lines about the way passengers are treated by airlines. Or, that their is an underlying theme about why or where this person is flying to give it a little more mystery or intrigue.

I think you paint an effective picture with your words. I would like to see more layers to give a richer feeling to this text. Pick a particular attendant and describe them and their mannerisms in a way to show how the affect this experience. You could mention what types of architecture or works of art you expect to see that would hint at what this destination is -- little things that can bring out the detectives in your readers.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1162
1162
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
There is great attention to detail about the habits of squirrels and I felt the information was very useful in portraying these rodents. But as a poem, there was a disconnected nature about it. Perhaps, because you don't connect with the little animal, but come across with something like a nature channel piece.

When I think of a poet writing about nature, it becomes an ode-like connection. Something about the squirrel that gives the poet pause about something we all think about would elevate this poem to another level. I think there is something about its hoarding habits that we can relate to, the over diligent nature and work habits, the obsessiveness that borders on humorous.

I think you paint a hansome portrait of squirrels in general. Perhaps, you could focus your attention more directly at one in particular, with more attention to particular moments that give pause.

If this were not a poem, it would be very effective text to help describe the creatures. It's really well done and conjures up images of their behavior.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1163
1163
Review of Mind Dance  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is lyrical and from the outset rolls off the tongue like the dance you describe. I found some effective imagery and a compelling poem unfolding in that first stanza.

As I read on, the rhyme scheme might seemed a bit more forced to keep up this great concept within the poem. I couldn't connect to 'Grey mists, like lists". In contrast, the first stanza is simple, pleasant, while the second stanza becomes more troubled, maybe bogged down a bit by more trepidacious (if that's a word) language. Even if flawed, it effectively shows how the mind shifts from the sunny disposition to dark.

The last stanza matches the first stanza for a more natural voice. But, "I sight, delight..." sounded awkward, reminded me of this need to continue the rhyme scheme.

I think this a very worthwhile effort and something lyrical enough that it could become song, that it could be danced to. I can appreciate the effort you put into this.

Brian
1164
1164
Review of Longing  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey Brandi,

This speaks to me. You capture that hopeless feeling of being unable to influence or move the spirit within this man. He's troubled. The narration is troubled about this, and it shows the personal hardship to overcome the undescribed obstacle between them. And maybe, not being able to leap this invisible fence shows how flawed both are, unable to connect.

It's sounds like they share more of a physical relationship, rather than a deep, personal one? I can only imagine him as someone like myself, who battles things he expects no one else could understand. But I get the feeling, if anyone can, it is her...only she is restrained somehow from being there for him.

I'm particularly struck by the use of imagery in the first few lines to describe her. It seems she is emotionally bankrupt, too. But she cares for him anyway. But, maybe the flaw here is that she knows from experience what troubles him, but thinks she doesn't have what it takes to put gas in his tank. This is where the theory about the metaphor fails, because two against the world is a much more powerful force than can be predicted. So, it's saddening to see there is not much hope. It's tragic to see flawed logic prevail, and that makes for a very compelling pen. I can imagine people giving up hope before they ever even give something a chance.

Now, there could be more, but it is not described within. I think your poem is effective on the whole as is. I think rather than making this narrative prophetic, it's better show the weakness, because it smacks of the human condition. I think this is the truth about a tragic pair, plain and simple.

There are other interpretations here. He's married or committed in some other sense, even imprisoned. But that could be a metaphor, as well, for he cannot commit to her. But I don't think she has what it takes to bound that barrier that divides these two. If she looks down deep within and feels she could be the salve that heals his life and makes her whole as well, it may be worth tearing down what keeps them apart.

So this reads like self-imposed imprisonment. Whatever life puts in their way can be taken apart. It's effective to show the restraint. But maybe, there could be more about what keeps them apart. But I don't know the true intent of the author without really suggesting how this story within your poem could be illumed even more.

I just know, it effectively touched me. It reads well and uses poetic elements to help me connect to the emotional conditions. I don't get a strong physical representation of the two. I'm not strong on physical description myself, but you use some effective metaphors to drive the mood of the poem.

So, well done. And, thank you for sharing this with me.

Brian
1165
1165
Review of Frost  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have a seven-year-old boy who is taking an interest in poetry. I like the use of listing things to describe what you see, think or feel about frost. I especially liked 'Frost's color is as clear as you know', because it was something I could see but also think about at the same time. That was a very good line.

Poetry is a beautiful way to tell others how much you love things about winter like frost. Myself, I like frost on windows, which you don't see as much any more. Windows today don't hold as much wetness because they are so well made they are air tight. But you can still see frost on car windows.

You did a great job of helping me appreciate what you like about frost. I hope you write more poetry and always have fun doing it. *Smile*

Brian
1166
1166
Review of Unbroken  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This poem must have a greater context as it helps shape the diaries, I assume fictional creations about this Lisa Lansing.

There is a lyrical feel to this poem, but imagery could be more substantial to flesh out these words and give me a deeper connection. Some of the imagery is contradictory, as with a 'divided' heart that is 'unbroken.' It doesn't give the feel of something steadfast, but one who is considering other options.

The poem in its simplistic nature might be about unrequited love, waiting patiently for return. But it's mentioned 'we built it', so I'm left feeling there was something there already. I'm wondering what 'it' really is. Could 'it' be more defined...what is this relationship that seems to be shrouded in secracy? Is this some kind of hidden love, one begging to be brought into the main arena?

Stanza five doesn't seem to fit, because it sounds like an answer came. But what is it, because this doesn't seem to show resolution in the last stanza? The ending sounds like this person is waiting for an answer, some kind of commitment to the relationship. The object of this poem seems to be asking for more time.

The narrative of this piece doesn't keep the focus of the dialogue in the lap of the person it's intended for. It's more like some open monologue for anyone who'll listen to this sentimental dirge. It could be intended to show how flawed the writer is by waxing poetic about an unsatisfactory relationship, rather than grabbing this matter by the horns and directly addressing it.

Without knowing the intent of the character and how this poem is intended to portray, I can't assume too much further how this plays out in the diaries, but it intrigues.

Brian
1167
1167
Review of Reach High  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
A fairly lengthy poem that is a bit like song lyrics, very earthy, that gives me introspect as an adult trying to communicate with someone who is losing their way, losing hope.

I started reading into the lines with thoughts of Martin Luther and the capitalized 'Dream' references.

When I got to the second line, I noticed 'were' should have been "we're." In the third line, the metaphor for frostbite affecting sight is not an effective metaphor. It affects extremeties like toes and fingers before feet and hands and more.

Get a feel for a lyrical, rythmic read moving through line four with "One night, one mic, one track to ignite". The next line tries to continue that but I wonder if words that are homonyms are getting confused for the intended words when you write...

"You right, too right, I write"

This cadence continues after that with the repeated dream references, only now not capitalized. Is there significance to the word only when in caps?

The narrative feel is strong when you directly relay these words...

"I'm here, it's okay to cry, I can feel your tears"

The detraction is the punctuation and the diagonal hashes at the end of each line that show line breaks, which are not necessary expect in confined text.

A more personal message evolves with the reference to the missing parent and how this is attempting to connect with another about how tough life can be...to help prop them up and remind to stay strong.

So what I got from the first stanza is relating how one can dream of bigger things in life and still have to walk the same path every day and relating this to another who is losing hope for the future.

This is very long and lyrical and there is the reference to 'rapping' and references that give it the troubled urban ghetto youth feel. So, the Dream references make me think of Martin Luther King and how he kept his head up through difficult times.

This is very relatable but think it could be tamed to get more directly to the heart of the message.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **

1168
1168
Review of One Little Toad  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Amy!

Nice rhyming and use of counting and listing. The pattern is familiar like the children's books that count caterpillars, ladybugs, dinosaurs, etc. I wonder if this could be more thematic. I don't know what a vole is. But the types of animals are not indigenous to one another. And there is no sense of one particular climate. But imagined this could progress as the weather changes. Perhaps, starting with spring and ending with spring. Show the critters that are out first that come back to replace the critters that disappear with the snow?

Just some thoughts. Really great flow and rhyme with this. Do you want to write children's books? I'm sure if you are like me, you've read enough to be influenced by the structure, how words are patterned to help young readers. This could be something.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1169
1169
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
The rhythm and flow of this piece doesn't intone the dark expression these words hold.

The first two stanzas made me feel I was being set up for something lighter, albiet sad. The description of events was like putting on the brakes, driving down even lower.

The narration seems hopeless in the sense that this person feels trapped, cannot alter the course of this relationship. It leaves questions about who these people are, because it is oblique enough for a reader to interpret for themself. Is this child abuse, spousal abuse, a serial rapist or killer? What kind of person is this?

It's no doubt chilling and attempts to be very honest about how this type of hostage situation manifests itself. I think the irony is the way the poem is constructed with such a rhyme and flow that it forces the reader to work the mental gears.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1170
1170
Review of Not Soon Enough  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Despite the eerie feeling of a dream where love cannot be realized, you add the hope that this special someone will arrive.

Nice use of dreamlike imagery to give a sense of the dreay, the hopeless. The use of the color gray, the shadow and the stone show the disconnection, the inability to grasp on to this dream. The irony might be the ability to pass through something that seems like stone.

Makes me wonder if this really was dreamt, if there is some psychology behind the metaphors. Why does the dreamer have trouble realizing love? Is there something holding this person back emotionally? Is the ending false hope?

Beyond the images and portrayal of the emotional disconnection, there is some intrigue that lies with the narrator of the words as well.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1171
1171
Review of Summer's end  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Traditional rhyme with a good flow to the read. The author makes statements about the feelings of time passing. Perhaps, about leaving the best years of life behind, using summer as a metaphor to depict life, akin to the sands of time. It's about looking back at life, trying to squeeze some meaning out of those last rays of sunshine.

Some areas needed help with punctuation, if I could point out some places where I felt changes could be made...

How I wish that I could reach, <-- would remove this one here.
My hand into the great abyss,

Alas(,) I know this can't be done, <-- put one after Alas
The thing from which you can not run, (Perhaps break this up rather
That is the changing of the tides, than running on in these lines)
Upon the waves the next season rides, <-- suggest a period here
Rolling in(,) it can't be slowed, <-- insert comma after in
Following that long straight road,
Made up by the sands of time, <-- possible period here
So(,) make each moment of yours sublime. <-- suggest comma after So

Only suggestions, of course. I don't claim to be a punctuation expert. The lines flow into one another so naturally, you could imagine each line like a wave landing on a beach.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1172
1172
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I understand this poem accompanies the 'Lansing Diaries', and in reading several times wonder if it does as well standing alone.

I stumbled out of the gate to imagine how you meant the first two lines to flow together and wondered if you need a comma at the end of the first line to separate the two thoughts.

Visually, I could not stimulate my mind to pull together images from the text. There's a dream, an afternoon, something stirred in the first stanza. 'Malediction' and 'magic black' are weighty and desire attention. And 'salvation's seeds' could be representative of something. And, there is a timeline building right from the start, but I can't fathom to what it pertains.

The third stanza opens with difficultly for me. There seems to be some word play, but the repetition of 'way' didn't help the flow coming out of 'Those wise have taught on being lost' and wondered if this is grammatically correct or if a word was left out like 'Those wise have been taught...'

I could not put anything together with the final stanza with the baffling line..."to find outside each, but inside both". I could only assume a singular reference to 'Illusion's Lock' preceeded this. I apologize if there were literary references at work here that would illuminate the text.

I wanted to appreciate these words on a deeper level. I think the third stanza was most significant in suggesting even the wisest have to take a step back to seek fortune. But for the most part, the text was ambiguous, with grand expression and words than were impressive and had a polished flow. Just didn't do anything for me.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1173
1173
Review of A New Apple Tree  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is an amusing tale and like how the child's wish to have an apple tree is answered by the storm.

I think some character development, or putting more focus on the main characters would help this story along. Seems to me this story could use a subplot.

Rather than being about keeping up with the neighbors, maybe there's something significant about an apple tree, like with a lost relative. Then, maybe it could be suggested the lost loved one had something to do with the interesting deposit of a tree in the spot where the apple tree was lost.

This story could also benefit from an epilogue. There could be more to the ending of this story.

Overall, I think some of the details were ordinary and didn't illuminate the imagination of the reader. The moment when she sees the tree uprooted should uproot some feelings within herself. Maybe, she could have an attachment to the tree. But the significance of the apple tree could represent change, the change she needs to move forward with her life or something.

Just looking for interesting or unique elements to connect with the characters. Not sure why this one was categorized sci-fi. I think you want readers to think that it's an unusual story, but I can see something like this actually happening. It does catch my imagination with that ending and the possibilities.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1174
1174
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
When I read this, I see something that starts out directly speaking to the reader, embracing before lecturing on what sharing is all about.

Was looking for something with effective examples of how these acts might transpire, but am told only of the value of give and take. It does not impress upon me the importance of this, that which is inherently known or taught to us by society or family.

Lacked the expression to bring this one home with words that didn't really flow or become overly poignant. I think the intentions of the author are indeed sweet and appreciated for the effort.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1175
1175
Review of Slayed  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Such stark imagery and a great sense of the battle these whalers wage to spear their quarry. Great usage of language to give me a connection to this scene, but did notice you may have used there instead of their at the outset of line four. Also the collective 'deckhands gleared a snarly smile' should be singular 'deckhand' unless you mean the entire crew, then some plural reference to smile.

I imagine visuals akin to the novel "Moby Dick" with less than modern depictions of a sailing vessel and harpooning a whale. You were clicking along with visual imagery that expressed emotions about this slaughter. The ending however tells rather than shows how they felt. In a poem, it is even more difficult to paint the emotions of the crew.

The poem is astounding for its visual and emotive imagery. I think this could reach another plateau if you allow the reader their own takeaway about how these whalers felt at the end.

Brian

** Image ID #1298961 Unavailable **
1,555 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 63 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ripglaedr3/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/47