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2,870 Public Reviews Given
3,543 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Read my reviews. Look at any other review. I see the good, with an eye toward potential. Will never be/play authority of someone else’s words, leave to the master of the work. I just reflect/react/review, a fuller perspective. Responses of my reviews are affirming. Do not credit me. Pay it forward.
I'm good at...
Poetry, shorter stuff. I'm mostly blind. I react and encourage with my reviews, suggest direction to make something better. I can be a friend. Trust went out the window. I break the conventional fourth wall. Not sure what it means? Ask.
Favorite Genres
nature, love, psychological, spiritual, inspirational, epiphany, emotional, drama, human interest, science, conspiracy, dystopian, fatalistic, speculative. Not cookie cutter fantasy realms or choose your adventure. Action/adventure. Unique, surprise.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, fan fiction, some fantasy and sci-fi, or anything Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones-ish.
Favorite Item Types
poetry, short story, essay/opinion/blog
Least Favorite Item Types
fantasy, horror
Public Reviews
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1076
1076
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I really don't think it's possible to tell a story in 55 words or less, for that matter a vignette...call it what you like.

But it's possible to describe something from something larger to make a person want to read more into that moment.

You could take the shortest passage from the Bible and apply it to a story, merely because we understand the motivating factors behind the words, "Jesus Wept."

But in 55 words, there's no character or plot development unless we can borrow from words or references with deep veins of meaning. In this case, I prefer to call it prose or poetry.

But I see this inpires a lot of participation. And a good notion to keep it brief, creative and to the point. It's likely it takes a lot of time just to wrack one's mind to come up with a short piece that provides a relatable story-like message.

Brian

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Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi SM,

Some useful tips here that I keep forgetting I can do to get more hits at my page. Especially the part about emails -- I email so many people that this could ensure more visitors to my site and WDC.

I had the idea to put my name and address on a business card and provide an added incentive for anyone who joins WDC by sending them some gps. to get them started. Then I was going to hit book stores, libraries and college campuses and see how many of these I could hand out and what results I could get.

Are we able to incorporate the WDC logo on these cards, or would that look too much like we represent this website? Trying to think of eye catching graphix that people will immediately attach to when they arrive.

I hope to revisit increasing my web traffic in future, so I needed this to help me brush up on plans. I wish I could compare my hits with others on a daily basis to see rankings for this. Even stats on hits from date when one became a member or by case type.

I love following stats and using creative methods to determine what the figures mean and how I can make them work to my advantage.

Brian

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Review of She Is  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like your use of listing to invoke feelings about who 'she' is through the use of imagery, thoughts and the uses of sense and memory to put it all together.

This piece has a poetic charm to it, as well. Liked how you finish with the train metaphor, but wondered if the train is the wrong image for 'she'. Put the emphasis on the horn as the source of that sound when mentioning the train's sound to detract from the mechanical manly image. The forlorn sound is one of my favorites.

Nice way to wrap up the poem, too. Very distant, nostalgic, beautiful...all those thoughts and feelings about that distant wail come to mind to make for a sweet finish.

Brian

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1079
1079
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.5)
Those first two lines creating a striking visual and put me in a moment watching this bud fall in the crimson lit waters. It seems to set off some anguish, but from what I do not know. I can only imagine the forest denizens thinking this has happened too early. Would it be the start of something like fall, or the end of spring when this bud falls.

I can imagine all sorts of things with the visual and the suggestion seems to be late, as with life. It strikes at the reader's feelings about the brevity of a precious life and how it must be savored or appreciated before it is too late. Definitely some social commentary at work here with that last line.

Brian

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Review of Returning  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.0)
That is a beautiful comparative allegory of oneself emerging anew like a flower that survives the harsh winter.

The opening didn't grab me right away. I think using a specific kind of flower such as a rose or a flower that returns from seed is a great way to bring more character and meaning to what you attempt to express. It helps a reader get a better visual. And selecting one with specific colors or smells helps associate with the kinds of feelings the narrator chooses to express about this reemergence.

This is definitely a great notion for a poem and with some development could be as spectacular as seeing this determined but needy flower reveal itself in full bloom.

Brian

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Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Lots of anger with this poem. Politics has been something I have been intrigued by for many years. It amazes me how our country can put some of these people in office.

If I read a bit deeper into this, your remarks are more pointedly aimed at democrats who are posturing for the upcoming election. They are being devisive only to win votes. It's likely their agenda has nothing to do with the war.

It's good to hear people speak their mind. We shouldn't have to feel like we're walking around with muzzles on our faces. Every opinion counts. Keep up the good work.

Brian
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Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.0)
I was able to draw some images of someone sailing alone, perhaps at sunrise, but maybe sunset. But I prefer sunrise because of the taking wing part...it suggests beginning...renewal.

Some of the words seemed to contrast or work against each other and wasn't sure if the word combinations were meant to show this...for instance...

Deep blue sea shimmers

I think deep, I'm under the surface. But shimmers puts me on top...its like being and seeing two places at the same time. I want to look deep and yet I'm on a brilliant, shimmery plane that takes my eyes away. If I am reading too deeply into this, I'm sorry, but it is like wanting to search deep within, but enjoying this experience above that distracts one with happiness.

The second line has me looking at the sail, but then 'heels into foam.' I imagined this to mean the sailor has leaned his craft so far back that the tip of the sail touches the foamy water...like a parasailor. I'm assuming that's the surfboards with sails atop. And this is just the image I got. I really don't know how 'heel' may be intended here, but if it is like a shoe, it is putting its pointed weight on or into something.

The last line I had trouble interpreting. It's as if this craft has turned from a sailboat into a bird. It got me to thinking about some comparative relationship to show the gull like a sailboat. I had to go back to reread to see if I could find more identifying relationships that could make a complete transformation for me...but I could not.

It's like a magic trick, where this sail suddenly turns into a flying bird. I don't know exactly what you intend, but that is what I take away from the imagery. It is intriguing and an interesting haiku to read.

Brian Keith Compton
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Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.5)
This appears an attempt at personifying the wind as Zepyhr by capitalizing the word, making it earth born and showing its affect on nature. Sort of communing with the leaves and the bird.

My impression was this was a heralding of the emergence of spring. I wasn't quite sure how to interpret the second line...

Leaves to waves of blissful greens

My one thought was the wind sends away the dead leaves and exposes the freshly grown grass of spring.

It evokes some visual images that can also make me think of the freshness and smell of spring. Adding the Blue Jay includes an auditory reference, too. So it was nice those were all contained within to give a fuller effect.

Brian
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Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This was a beautiful setting for the song and I listened to the audio file and felt your delivery and voice added much more meaning to the words you have penned here.

Your style helped intone this message for a world to revert from its increasingly disturbing ways that lead to war and hate. It is a general message but one that is felt and well understood.

Brian
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Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"Invalid Item is like walking on the egg shells of a psyche that lingers over needs to feel protected and loved to those of a woman who has to be the parent, the spouse, who provides these things.

You break this down in four even parts that explain these desires that evolve from childhood and progress into womanhood. But the irony, or contrast, is in the open and close with these statements of wishes. From 'I still wish' to 'I so wish,' I learn how difficult it is for one to break the cycle of conditioning that begins early in one's life.

I don't know if it is intended, but in psychology terms this might deemed flawed logic. The phrase 'I should' puts a heavy burden on these shoulders before transitioning to the 'I so wish' component of the last stanza. It reminds me of the saying, 'Wishing doesn't make it so.'

As a result, I can sense this inner turmoil of the narrator from beginning to end. The safe, warm home with no worries of childhood has faded away. This narrator needs to make the leap over a widening gap while time runs out. It makes me think of walking into a classroom and finding out there is an exam you didn't study for. You know you must take the test and pass while realizing you're not up to the task.

I think the only suggestion I can make for this poem is with the transition with 'cause' that should have an apostrophe to show contraction...'cause.

I find "Spoilt - a bitter truth to be very relatable in a simple, straightforward and down-to-earth manner.

Brian

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Review of Friends Of Old  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.0)
The theme of "Friends Of Old shows a contrast between distance in miles to the closeness of two hearts. It has this feeling like you've known someone all your life. Older, yet sharing like 'two girls,' I get a sense of helplessness over a fate that keeps them on each side of the ocean.

From that opening stanza, you establish characters, a setting with two continents, and the age of these two to help me get my bearings. That was a good way to introduce this. I felt you could be more active with these words, since there is a wistfulness to this piece. One suggestion I have is with showing this maturity. Another way to say it might be something like...

We share the same eyes
made wiser by life


I would avoid directly stating some things and play with words that can trigger an emotional of visual connection for your readers.

I wondered about the different paths. It was introduced but not described. It might give a reader an inkling of what you suggest. Maybe something more could be introduced to show where these paths are taking them. Is it with the distance? I assume so. But it could be more. Is it with choices that could be keeping the two from being as close as they once were or could be? Maybe not, but a reader could have doubt.

The second stanza begins with the 'two girls' reference. The words that are coming together here are meet, play, learn and bloom. I feel at this point, there needs to be a more specific metaphorical setting that those words could work on. My first thought was a garden. More of the flora or botanical with visions of butterflies and ivied arbors or fences with gates.

There are so many words that could work as metaphors to show this relationship between the two. Phrases like 'meet and recognize' just don't appeal to me. While 'play and learn' say something, one wonders what they should be visualizing. When you say they are like 'two girls,' my mind starts to work on how the narrator sees them as young at heart. A physical representation of that could illuminate how the friendship can be interpreted.

Geography is implied as an obstacle. With the suggestion of two continents, I start thinking of metaphors for things that show division. But in spirit, this can be contrasted by showing the connection that makes the miles melt away. And I also wonder about how they are communicating. My first notion is internet. The instant response to sharing thoughts can help two be in the moment. Telephone, mail or infrequent meetings are possibilities, so it makes me wonder what the physical makeup of this friendship could be. The spiritual can be fleshed out more, too.

You have a good concept with this poem. This reads like something that the two can share with an intimate knowledge of what it all means. Now, to find a way to bring the rest of us into this circle to fully share in this wonderful friendship.

Brian

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Review of Simple Truth  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (3.5)
I think you do well to open with listing things that are elemental and dependable as with the sunrise and then show how this revelation about love compares.

I found the overuse of the word 'Today' detracted from the message that you convey. Just to see what it would look like by just starting out with the time reference...

Today the sun arose at dawn
Rain fell from the sky
Warmth came from the sun
and I saw love in your eyes

Today I see that all is well
I hope for true love's kiss
You are beautiful to my eye
You bring me true love's bliss


Stated just like that, I think it stands on its own. Although, you could deleted the second reference to 'true love's' to find something else that could make a statement like 'eternal.'

What might be effective for that last stanza, though, is to turn on the word tomorrow. With that last part of the poem, I find the first two lines contradict the last two...

And now I hope you see that this
Is simply fact in all I say
And now I think you realize
That I love you more than words can say


It's like we're in the moment, but I don't get the narrator's realization of how the message is being received. Could it be in the eyes or some other sign to express this acceptance? And even 'think' isn't a very strong word. You could say, 'Now I know you realize...'

You have something here. I hope my comments will be of some help should you plan to make revisions.

Brian

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Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You said a mouthful to put it simple. What a great use of the arts for visuals and to connect through this writing. And a footnote to boot that helped educate me.

I found some grand and eloquent expressions as with...

Remembering that once we missed the sun,
we’ll forget our spoiled feasts;
we’ll toast to learning and re-searched beauty,
with wine fermenting again.


As this relates to writing, I'm getting ... try not to think about what you didn't do, but what awaits. The narrator is acting like the muse (like Erato?) to, as you put it, 'entice my pen.'

Brian

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Review of When Mama Wrote  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm back for more. With "When Mama Wrote, I get a great feel for the imagery with that opening stanza in words that read like abstract art...

Her words, plastic shopping bags in flight,
testing the wind,
in shrieks of joy...


The one thing I would point out, when I visualize this expression, goes to the size and weight of a plastic shopping bag. I see some big, heavy bags that might not get much lift and look awkward in flight. Some might be small, lightweight things that twist and twirl and fly up high. And I wonder if it is intended to show the variation, maybe even in color of these bags in flight.

I'm getting this manner of exuberance or light-heartedness, yet restrained or harnassed as with that ride. It sounds like a statement about a generation or environment that was tight-lipped. Some social or cultural presence that prevailed over this woman.

The second stanza I'm imaging something like handwriting analysis. Looking at the cursive and reading between the lines seems to reveal some of the hardness of life -- of being confined by the convention. And yet, still a dreamer with drowned expressions that seem to near surfacing.

In that third verse, I felt her fear to share what she wrote with others. Perhaps, this is more than just some journals or letters, but attempts at something like poetry. And then comes some visualization...

...but her fingers grip her head in a bony vise,
and her pencil, a bar, secures her in her seat.


Death. Imprisonment, maybe? The visuals seem to suggest something deeper about what she wrote or how writing affected her. Did it trap her? Does the narrator imagine this from what's been read. As a child, no knowledge of this type of frustration could have registered. But having grown up and becoming a writer too (as with the poem now being critiqued), a deeper glimpse into a woman that was not known is being discovered?

What I felt with the last two stanzas was a reincarnation of sorts. This woman is being revered now, remembered and appreciated with such warmth that it brings her back to life through her writing. The narrator gets a connection to the past in the present to relive feelings while clinging to those papers.

A very sweet ending.

Brian

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Review of House of Solitude  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is what it feels like to be a writer and not have anyone to appreciate how this art form for the ideation of word creation flows through you.

You paint such a lovely, quaint setting that seems idyllic to the creative mind. Your style reveals some word play that includes small doses of alliteration in some word combinations. It feels like gliding over ice on skates with small bursts that help with the read of the text.

To me, the crux of this all is about the effort that goes into the craft -- the giving up of oneself to include heart, soul and mind when developing these words that will show a part of oneself, but will also convey to an audience of readers who can appreciate and understand every finer point and detail that goes in. And sadly, the writer feels that it will be all for naught in the end...

gifts of poetry and time
to be crumbled and thrown into trash
after I’m gone...


To me this says what you have to pass on will not be appreciated or embraced once the spirit has left. The loneliness that follows the frustration makes one wonder what makes a writer tick. They stall sometimes, but there's always inspiration, fate, the muses, whatever you want to call it that keeps it going. And then a fine piece of poetry like this is produced in the end. And perhaps, all the suffering and sorrow doesn't have to seem wasted.

Great job!

Brian

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Review of THIRST  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This poem goes way deeper than my brain can fathom this evening. But I see so much imagery and power in these expressions about literature, about the connection to it. And there seems to be a grander message of social, cultural and maybe environmental significance.

I tend to want to interpret the author's intent with words that tease like...

in the rodeo of volumes

or

words do justice to life,
justice that is not charity.


I just can't wrap my head around some of this stuff that seems to get philosophical. I'm trying to imagine charitable words, perhaps how they lose their meaning or importance when a writer, for lack of a better word, whores the literary craft.

But you open my eyes and mind with your last stanza with its directness, assertions of what words are...'oxygen,' 'blood' and 'fire.' It suggests the true essence, the necessity of literature to all of mankind.

Very well expressed.

Brian

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Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I found a commonality to the messages about relationships in this poem that a reader can take away. The difficulty of falling for someone who is married is one. And despite having a marriage ruined in this way, the temptation is there creating the most impactful line of revelation...

Now I've become, the guy I've always despised

This poem is uneven and does not appear an attempt at free form. The rhyme scheme for the most part is there, but not a lot of story to show what is happening, just an overview of this person's realizations. It's as if these words could have been molded into pop lyrics.

My only other thought would be about love. If it is real, nothing should stand in the way, including a marriage. It casts doubt on whether this relationship would really have worked. And maybe, this is waxing nostalgic over a fading memory too far back in the past to recapture.

Brian

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Review of Digging Out  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.0)
This ode to the support of friends has some important elements to me. The imagery is significant with shoveling and breaking out to find light and those cheering and supporting you.

What I got from the ending is this person (you) was acting out of fear, trying to dig deeper into a hole. But somehow, light appears and so do the friends. I imagine this person could never hear their encouragement until reaching that level.

Some of the things that concerned me was 'digging further down' and managing to find light somewhat serendipitously. Either you dug all the way through to the other side of the world or had a bad sense of direction. And since you use that as a metaphor, it didn't make logical sense.

It's too bad the cheers from the friends couldn't be heard during those mining efforts. Something muffled maybe, the sounds of something that attract the digger to find their way out by following the sound, the voices? I think it would help show this progression from hibernation to this new found freedom.

Put the friends and encouragement in the story sooner in some way. They are the focal point of this piece. You could develop that part more to show how they coaxed you out of the underground into the world of acceptance. Perhaps, more could be shown, just a hint even, about what discovery was made after emerging from the dark.

Brian

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Review of To Be  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (3.5)
A very brief poem. In the first line I think you meant to say 'is' instead of 'if'

To be afraid (is) to be torn inside

The next line repeats itself as 'sad' and 'unhappy' are the same. You have 'afraid' = 'torn inside' in the first line. So 'sad' = ??

To be sad is to be __________

This next line needs further explaination. How do you mean 'unbearable?' I am not connecting with what is said. It does suggest the burden of tryng to be someone you are not. And the next line might support your contention.

To be someone else rather then myself is to be unbearable
I would much rather be m(ys)elf and make mistakes th(a)n be anyone else


Parenthesis were used to show corrections I made to the text.

You strike at something here that speaks of this discovery of one's being, worth, place in this world. Sometimes, without knowing it, we subconsciously do things to change who we are to conform to the roles society places out there for us to act out. If we are good at being someone we are not, like an actor, many rewards may come our way. But at what expense? This seems to be the contention, that it's not worth it to live a lie and lose who you are.

I can see what you are getting at with this. I would suggest developing these thoughts some more. Try to show the conflict that made these feelings come about. A little bit of story or showing the conflict can help a reader see through your eyes.

Keep on writing!

Brian

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Review of Making History  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.5)
I will be reviewing your submission for
" Weekly NEWBIE Challenge

I was impressed with the story from its narration to development of characters. It shows you gave great thought and detail to the progression of events, the speech, the mannerisms. It's all there.

The romance genre definitely catagorizes this story. It has all the right elements and I could see you becoming a novelist with work like this. The downside is, the storyline is predictable. I'm sure your audience would disagree with me.

I disliked him from the start because he was so handsy. Obvious sign of his attraction as his intentions also appeared certain from the start. I found her restrained character to be unoriginal. You reveal her flaw as she contradicts herself about her own belief about love as she avoids the dating scene.

You do well to create conflict from the very start. You have her hiding from love by doting on her mother. The love connection through the personals isn't unique but helps them get together. But I'm sure it's the stuff that sells these kinds of books.

Your storytelling style is consistent and shows you take great care with your words. You allow the reader to understand their behaviors with this omniscent narration that helps get inside their heads.

Brian

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Review of A Time of Love  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, I'm a reviewer for
Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


This one really tugged on the old heart strings, especially with that last paragraph and Grandpa living his last moment with your kids.

I assume autobiographical, though you intend this as short fiction? Loosely based on real events? I wasn't quite sure what context to put it in, even as a draft.

I got some bits and pieces of real life here -- characters that are relatable. I felt like I needed more. I wanted to know more about the man, even though he would understate things like terminal cancer.

The relationships could be shown more with dialogue. This reads more like a forward to a novel that is about to put another chain of events into motion. Perhaps, a story about a woman moving forward in her life as death casts its shadow. This could draw from the strength of the father, even after death. Lessons learned. The struggle to be the centerpiece of the family, filling those shoes he left behind.

Something you make quite clear is how difficult it is to do the role reversal with one's parent. I would have liked more of that. You do well with the encouraging words for Mom. I would have liked more of that.

I wish you the best and keep writing. You have a way of capturing the human condition that many readers will relate with.

Brian

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Review of My Love Is  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.0)
"My Love Is is divided into four stanzas that seem to address fears she might have about him. It's set up to answer these inquisitions in a straightforward manner. But I have to ask myself, if I were the woman would I be convinced?

Taking a closer look, I find assurances with a word like 'unwavering' which implies faithfulness. There is 'tenacious,' which could be taken to mean he will love deeply, but also suggestives aggressiveness. Maybe, he gets what he wants. Not as assuring that word.

Next is 'unbounded.' I know that means 'no boundaries,' but how is it implied? If he claims he will love her no matter how unattractive she might get, then it's good. But what if it's other meaning might be like telling a lie with crossed fingers behind your back.? Maybe, he really intends the word to mean he cannot be contained by love. I could see how a skeptical woman would still have doubts.

The find stanza ends with 'My love is eternal.' Is it eternal for her? Or just eternal?

This poem might not be the most convincing defense of one's love for another. A woman likes to be shown love, not handed out promises. Perhaps words that describe feelings for her would be more persuasive.

Rather than introducing the stanzas with her concerns, let's assume them. Start the stanzas off with 'My love is...' and use the whole stanza to state and support each contention.

My love unwavering
like the fountain that springs eternal
like the sun that meets each new day...


Something like that. And if you want to put personal concerns to rest, use an extra stanza as a summation of all four arguments and apply it directly to her doubts about this relationship.

I think you got the right stuff here. Make it show. Help her connect on a deeper level that she can feel. Use the five senses God intended you to have and relate these arguments into words that will leave a lasting impact.

Good luck!

Brian

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Review of Jelly Bean  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.5)
Simple yet philosophical, maybe even psychological, "Jelly Bean reveals considerate, introspective ideals.

I'm going to be kind

To everyone I meet

Everyone is fighting battles

That none of us can see


As internal dialogue goes, this could be seem as a pep talk. The narrator no doubt faces personal issues that seem like large obstacles. But to diminish their size, one can realize everyone carries weight on their shoulders. It's all about how you look at it. Being considerate of them gives one a personal connection as another human in this world...and it doesn't have to feel so cold and lonely.

Everyone is all the same

A few are unique

In a world of jelly beans

We can all be sweet


This is endearing, the jellybean reference. When I think of candy like this, I think of children, the happy discovery on Easter, innocence. It's a nice metaphor to realize that everyone is beautiful in their own way. And what's more, they can be kind.

The narrator seems to discover the sameness, this common bond with others, to put the human condition in a positive light. Very refreshing.

Thank you for this.

Brian

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Review of Contradictions  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
There are many ways to escape from everyday life to find peace, one's personal utopia, but this is not something I get to read about everyday...the 'mediciinal' use of the magic herb...

...a simple mental masturbation
meant to beat reality,
that beautifully malleable
Maiden,
into a complete perfection.


So beautifully expressed here. Yes, we can shape our perception of things with a little help like this.

I found this poem had a comfortable pace, as relaxed as one might be under the spell of the drug. It also digs beneath the layers of existence to get philosophic...

and sometimes things live as a testament to contradictive beauty.

The imagery connects me with the narrator, the visual elements that stimulate thoughts like these. I was a little confused by the last line, though...

And basics are back, resurrected like some sort of C(h)ris(t)is continued…

Sounds like an unfinished thought but the parenthetical letters when removed spell 'crisis.' Don't know if their might be a religious inference there, also. As this is about either irony, or the contradictive revelation of common perceptions of life, it would seem to suggest another of these paralleled meanings.

Your poem does provoke thought and kept me intrigued as I read through several times.

Brian

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Review of Truth or Dare  
Review by Brian K Compton
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sasha

Your poem has a lyrical feel to it. I'm not familiar with the song from the movie, but I can imagine why it reads so smoothly. You must have really been inspired.

I did catch a typo toward the end...

I'm on a boat, and I'm going to ke(e)p rowing.

I also wonder if you meant I instead of it here...

And if I'd crossed, it would have died.

Otherwise, I'm not certain what to attribute to 'it.'

The river is nice use of symbolism to show commitment to a relationship, as well.

Brian

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