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3,777 Total Reviews Given
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Retired. Never an obligation 3,777 times…minus two or three thousand more (when a zealous-whatever programming made me) before MY lobby saved the rest, thanks to response with consideration and generous reply to put up with me.
 
I get a hang up on stats and what’s right. Blame baseball historians. Apparently, I can’t hear the societal norm above the NOISE IN MY HEAD! WHAT? Oh…you were saying?
 
Nope. Still just me. *Cat2*
 
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976
976
Review of poem  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (1.0)
I came here to review your poem, "poem" Open in new Window. which is described as "women uniting." No doubt a feminist piece, but was the author silenced or the poem redacted because the body of the piece just says "women"?

I could review thinkers like this all day. But, maybe we can coerce former writing.com members to come back to the site and explain their derivative one-word/letter manifestos daring all the world to decipher.

*BigSmile*


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977
977
Review of Awful Or Awesome?  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found this poem to be a treat with a play on the letter "e." The English language is a ruinous thing. just throw it all out and rewrite the whole dictionary. Latin roots we're a good start, but we had a melting pot...now it's hard to understand words and their origins because they come from just about every culture. And we throw them all in one book.

I like that four-line stanza you had. It was a nice little ditty on your reaction to the differences between aw and awe. Nice little poem.


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978
978
Review of A Collection  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (1.0)
Hello, I am reviewing your poem that you have entitled, "A Collection" Open in new Window.. This 4.5 star rated piece that promises a treasury of writing, but is not what it seems.

Apparently, shortly after creating a static that was supposed to be a test, the author desom Author Icon disappeared and was never heard of again.

Why reviewers are such a fan of such Impressionism is beyond me. 1*Stary*


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979
979
Review of Word's of Wisdom  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (1.0)
Hello, I will be your reviewer today, blessed Author Icon. Here we have a poem that is trying to be poignant, unfortunately the title has an errant apostrophe that should not be there.

Getting to the text of the poem, the author offers only one word and that is "life." Now this delivers off of the title, so I must put the two together to see if this is an answer to a riddle. Unfortunately, it is nonsensical. It is not words of wisdom, but word.

And what is the wisdom about life? Apparently the wrong answer was given, leaving this reviewer feeling someone did not do their homework on this poetic subject.

B


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980
980
Review of Loss  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (1.0)
Sometimes, when we visit the poem, it leaves us with no words. And you know what, they're hiding. That's what I think. So maybe, I could write a review that is also hiding.



Now I'm finished.

B


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981
981
Review of wwww  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Once upon a time there was a writer named Nebulous Soul who did not fill out his/her bio block. So we will never know what they claim as far as writing prowess. But there is a poem On writing.com entitled, "wwww." If it is an acronym for something beyond the World Wide Web, I am at a loss to decide what the fourth W stands for. For now I will go with wonky.

The contents of the poem by N.S. contains a single letter. Maybe it is a clue, because it is a W. But, without more for this reviewer to go on we'll just have to close the books and leave this one to the historians.

This was the day I reviewed two pieces that contain one single letter each as the body of text. *RollEyes*


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982
982
Review of The  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Well, I would have to say this is the most original piece of poetry I have seen yet here at writing.com. Let's see, how to analyze this, what do you call it, poem? The title is 'The.' Not much to make of that.I'll have to look at your description line. It's repeating the Capital letter L over and over, apparently the first letter of your name...Lorn?

And now for the body of the poem:

"Y"

Yes, that begs the question, why? The world may never know. But I can claim I have witnessed the shortest poem on writing.com.

*Rolling*

B


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983
983
Review of Imagine  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
The poem moved smooth and quick to conclusion with its repeating title line 'Imagine.' This could easily transform into song lyrics, but it's mostly a chorus I'm hearing.

The rhyme scheme is also tight and drives this poem to its blissful ending. This is what good, romantic poetry does. It coerces love into commitment. The voice is compelling another to consider what they've been through and the future. It's like a we're meant to be together type poem.

Thumbs up for this. Though it has some cliches, it's strong in its common appeal, making a perfect choice to set to music. No edits needed.

B


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984
984
Review of Constellations  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I don't doubt you looked up one night and saw the streetlamp and everything came rushing to you about how you could create this poem about a street light as a fallen star. This is inspired stuff and worthy of considering when writing a poem. With this one, you want to make sure that your word choices and imagery can hold water, for lack of a better expression.

My first thought is that you have to get out of the city in order to see the stars. I can cite an Eagles song for you. But, if you considered dusk when the streetlamps first come on, it is possible to see the stars beginning to show in the dark blue illumed night sky. Now you have something even more romantic, because a time element has been introduced.

I couldn't make sense of "tired footsteps" and how it feels "like learning how to fly." Maybe, too tired and not brimming with energy to match this vision unfolding in the mind's eye? And I don't know How it connects to the burgeoning image just talked about with relation to stars. If the person wants to create a narrative, then you can put someone within the scene who feels helpless to reach the stars without wings? Wants to match the magical, energetic moment? Just a thought.

There is something dreamy about stars seeming easy enough to touch. I imagine this scene is so vivid that the idea is to make us feel it's like they're within reach. Now thinking of a Nitty Gritty Dirt band song. *Laugh*

There are some remarkable elements to your poem. You definitely have something good at work here. It makes my mind toy with how to visualize this. Even looking outside at my street lamp glowing orange right now.

Kudos,

B


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985
985
Review of A dozen Roses  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
That title line, "A Dozen Red Roses" and how it is repeated often is really the signature of this poem yours and casts such a dark cadence that this reader could relate to.

When I read poetry, I am trying to get a feel first about what's going on...emotions, actions. I look for symbolism mostly, what the author is trying to convey. My imagination was going toward death and how these roses, that seem to have lost purpose, are insignificant -- can never bring back this love/relationship. However, on a deeper level, I'm assuming this is the person that has been rejected by love. And that it feels like death, because the roses symbolize what was once a purpose is now useless to this person.

And how you change the purpose of the roses at the end of the poem, used to say goodbye, was most significant and a big mood changer. It does show the character has the strength to move on, even though in this dark reverie.

The rhyme scheme is definitely flawed but did not distract me. But, if one were to polish this piece, I suggest finding better word choices and consider a form or just go free verse. This may sound funny, but I imagine an emotional Irishman in a black overcoat at a funeral symbolically...just holding the roses, maybe having a drink or already being drunk, but controlled in this sober realization.

Just my takeaways from what I read. The poem seems personal but it is transcendent and worthy of a read for anyone who has been severed from a relationship.

A remarkable effort,

Brian


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986
986
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You have a eye-opening poem at work her with your word choices and depictions of nature in an emotional scene. I wanted to appreciate the vivid imagery in your unfinished work, but caught myself asking if I should be wondering why in flight, and from what? Life?

I caught myself thinking your beautiful depictions on line three would have opened poem beautifully. I know the way the poem opens is best because it is a scene from an act in a play. The character enters the stage and events transpire.

That first line had me thinking 'amongst a railing' didn't seem possible. You're parallel to it but not within it? So, just an awkward word choice from the start that I troubled with.

Loved how you worked in the sounds of waves, nature, conducting an auditorial symphony for this dramatic scene. As a reader I'm caught wondering about these emotions set in such a calming backdrop. Irony is strong with that.

It is important to give us that drama, maybe tease with depictions of the narrator to show what these emotions unfolding, rather than telling too much about the plight. I could not imagine this person at all.

Now, my mind went to contemplations of suicide. Without the obvious dagger, poison, revolver in hand, I couldn't be sure of flight...from life? Ominous ending would suggest so. Another thing I imagined is a person who broke away from another in a fit of rejection...from that word 'flight.' I saw this person running from something, if not life.

If this voice is describing their death scene, how is this transmission being relayed in poem. It's melodrama. A plea for attention by being so dramatic? Either way, bravo for working in such a gorgeous scene while implying something horrible is going on within it.

Your poem intrigued, gave me a lot to consider, having read through several times to form what may be my fallible conclusions. This poem is a very good piece.

Brian


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987
987
Review of Ugly Like Rain  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
The imagery and word choices in this poem take a reader on a dark but safe journey through a troubled soul. Some of the depictions are unusual and come from a mind seeking to purge troubles with metaphor changing from darkness to sun.

I found this poem following a somewhat logical conclusion, though getting there I tripped on a few thoughts or expressions:
"Obscuring a free mind/and doors to the sights beyond..."

If you want to show and not tell, stay true to your use of imagery here, maybe remove 'mind'? Then you could say, 'obscuring doors to the sights beyond...' After "covering all that is good," you could end with a period and start a new sentence. The reader needs natural pauses, give them time to consume your thoughts. Otherwise, we're racking up all these expressions to form an opinion of how they all relate. Causes extra processing.

It, from what I can figure out, is life. It 'cleanses a body's filth...bringing back the living from the dead/creating a new world/and a new life..." It, logically, can't do all that. There might be a supernatural power at work, if it can do all that. Or, maybe the expressions are too broad.

The poem had a nice shape and melancholy feel. You set a nice mood. You could really develop that imagery, too. That could give even more power to this poem. I liked where you were going with this.

Brian


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988
988
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I get that s feeling from your poem about how observing someone experience life helps you. You set up a strange world in your poem. It seems this observant one is in peril, crisis. But, the image of the girl hanging her legs off the edge of the world (good image).seems brave in the face of reality. And, she has the strength to help this troubled soul through it.

It reminds me as a parent that our children can be more courageous, give us strength and courage. I don't know if that is the aim of what could be an allegory, though not a story, so metaphor, but it intrigued me to read and consider.

Thank you for sharing.

B


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989
989
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
The House On The Bend is a nice title but your poem really went in another direction. It seems to be a story about one who is dealing with social conformity. I can't tell if it's from peer pressure or from people who want her in drug or treatment therapy. The use of the mask symbolizes living a lie. What needs covering up? Wasn't sure.

I found the reference to the house at the end. Two places came to mind: a place for school girls or juvies, or some institution. Of course, it reads like a place of seclusion where cults or gangs form, but could be a place to escape to.

I liked the use of quotes within. It gave it a good feel for narration's growing paranoia. It was fun to read and consider your poem.

B


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990
990
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed the way your logic about sports unfolded. Wasn't sure if you were describing as a participant or as some observing players of the game.

I can tell you having a mental advantage over an opponent can diminish their game, take away their spirit to compete. This happens when your game over matches theirs.

"Wind in our sax" was very descriptive, made me think when it caught my eye. I thought immediately of pep band that supports a team with uplifting music. That was good. It worked.

"Time your stacks" may have missed the mark. Needed to keep that perfect rhyme. You could try something like 'load your racks'? It's not a sport specific poem. You've written about basketball in the past. I get that you are an avid fan of athletic game.

Glad I discovered to lend feedback.


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991
991
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
You started out with a visual scene that gave me the impression a lawyer was smoking in a courtroom, there was a gavel, a woman sweeping floors and then a car starting, maybe in a parking garage? A phone ringing.

This was difficult to follow including the 'much buffon' line that was awkward, fragmented. I couldn't grasp much except that there might have been a suggestion of a lack of confidence.

The thoughts didn't connect. It was like a recounting of a dream, maybe?

B


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992
992
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Are you composing new chants for the cheerleaders, because this gave me a giggle? I did not see a specific sport mention, but could be read like motivational words.

Not sure about the shake that booty type references. I've heard get your ass moving. You kept your rhyme scheme going. The message and aim seemed a little cloudy.

I think this is a worthy effort. Support your team and stuff like that.


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993
993
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
When I got to the third verse, I was on board with the theme of your poem. Certainly, there are ways to make this better. Wanted to visually connect to what is addressed.

There's team first and accountability mentioned. This goes to coach speak where everyone has everyone's back. I'd like to see examples. On a playing field, court? Where?

"Posthumous brain" was difficult to wrap my head around. Dead brain? What occurs after death? Might want to rethink that one.

You are clearly inspired by sports. Keep writing!


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994
994
Review of God Send  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is an interesting piece of psychology that I am reading. I am a self-professed vain person who seeks attention but doesn't always reciprocate. I was looking for something along the lines of narcissism and saw some pretty good monologuing here.
I think if you can work in some examples of behavior that readers can relate to, you could really get their attention with this poem. You use some good words like treacherous, superfluous and malicious.
The narration has a feel of what I am familiar with. It seems like an inner dialogue that I have where I struggle to not put myself above others when I look at their writing to compare to mine. So, maybe it's based on insecurity and that is what I see with people who struggle with vanity.
Your poem captured a perfect feel and was interesting to read. I did spot some typos with the commas not having spaces behind them and I missed seeing an apostrophe. I would imagine you're still in the early stages of developing this piece.

Brian


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995
995
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I read your poem with great anticipation intrigued by the title and expression 'winter wings' hoping for some illumination. I wonder if these two do make it.

You have built up a story with lines and expressions that suggest the love of two hearts is at stake. I felt you made a good effort but lacked a story or imagery that could suggest what happens.

With a reference to 'dart' I wondered if Cupid was at work. The dream suggestion did not equate. But, your words do have a certain lyrical nature. I didn't know if repeating the last line of verse one at the start of verse two was intended.

Sorry, if I got lost figuring out this one. I wanted to unravel the mystery of the poem's meaning.

B


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996
996
Review of My home; My love  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This surprised me with its form and poetic device describing home. You create a visual feeling with your expressions and imagery.

Poetry looks nice when lines are broken into form. What you have here is beautiful prose could be actuated by free verse style that came emphasize some of your glowing points.

If I may...I want to attempt:

Sometimes
home isn't four walls and carpet or hardwood floors that stretch for miles.
Sometimes the best kind of home has:
two sea blue eyes
a slow beating heart --
home has curly hair
and freckles all over.
This kind of home has lots and lots of skin.
Some patches are rough and scaley and don't hardly move in the sun.
While other patches are soft and silky
and glide over my skin with ease.
The clean pink finger nails of home dig
into the rough patches of me
and make them soft. They tear open a world of love I never knew
and would never know again.
My home has a name that rolls off my tongue at 2am
when even the neighbors know his name, too.
My home knows no bounds
and never takes no for an answer.

And that is just the beginning. Removing a few words like 'the' and 'and' can highlight the important words more.

You have great expressions but I feel this poem is unfinished. You never pitched a name. This is a great start. You could work it up more. The process of editing is very beneficial to writers like us.

Good show!

BK

Another newbie review at the behest of my mentor, GabriellaR45 Author Icon Four and counting...


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997
997
Review of Shattered  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Great masquerade! The use of masks in your poem is a great device to convey the poem's voice and the people who come into the life of this person.

My original notion was this person was hard and could see right through people, leaving them feel vulnerable. Powerful. Their masks break is a great expression and how this is similar to a mask slipping. It's like true self is exposed once they can't cover their faces.

What I didn't realize was the narrator was suffering and wanted to find this perfect mate. The one who would let their mask break and not feel shame but offer the pieces as a gesture of will you fix me? This poem/voice sounds like someone who needs another to be more of a slave, which gives the reader a deeper understanding of psyche. What goes to motivation is we want control in a relationship when we've been hurt before, unable to trust.

Your poem has a few grammatical errors, but I don't see any edits since it's creation five years ago. A stand alone piece that stands on its storytelling merit.

Intriguing poem with good poetic device.

B


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998
998
Review of Full Moon Travels  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem is great fantasy and escapism that gives me pause to wonder about the person who fanticizes like this. It reads like a coping mechanism to finding peace in oneself, away from hate and abuse.

Imagination is great when it can take us on a journey like this. We imagine visiting others' dreams. I did wonder who the companion was that has the power to communicate. Does this narrator of the poem not sleep alone? If the cohort is a pet, does the writer give it voice heard by its master...since it's fantasy?

"My soul flies as if pulled by a rope," is a great line! The spacing for this piece was odd and not as easy to read, but isn't so unusual -- just that a poem usually groups lines with its thoughts. But as one long passage, it reads fast and continuous to end.

You have a fun, light subject within a character who may be suffering which is sad. Touch of melancholy from this for me.

BK


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999
999
Review of The Echo  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
There is a good spiritual quality to the poem that romanticizes love using the senses like personified parts of the person(s) to search for love but only finding the undescribed echo.

I think the romantic tone of the poem lends to the emotional. I caught some sentence fragments that read like unfinished thoughts, especially the sixth verse.

What is tragic is that the search seems hopeless, and even if the love returns there is fear that it's dead. This poem has good structure and tone with its voice. The language could be fresher, since poetry is about wowing us with a new masterpiece of art, avoiding the cliche. Though, your words in most are strong and relatable to many readers here.

Thank you for sharing your sad but intriguing poem,

B


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1000
1000
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
There are repeating hooks in this poem that create a lyrical sound and a taste of ye olde style poetry.

We are doing a dance with repeating words that for me sounded a cadence. I sensed a missing word in the first line, stumbled out of the blocks and started again. I also noted a lack of punctuation making this breathless, in a run-on style format. I think punctuation and line breaks could aid in not getting over-revved on these words.

I can imagine an old tyme sailor being manacled to a mast and uttering his verses in broken English. Even just a little action, like spit at her feet or snarl at her. He's definitely dirty, got tattoos and gnarled, black hair -- torn clothes maybe? He comes to life with his dialogue. Nothing about her, though.

The poem had a gritty, dirty feel to it without being naughty. Bawdry? But it needs shape, perhaps back story or something going forward, otherwise just monologuing. Even last stanza just punctuate with question mark. It's good but could be polished.

B


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