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Dear Silonch,
I saw your request on the Power Review page and had to drop by your port for a visit. This is a very short poem that describes nothing in particular, and being titled 'My Whimsy', I can understand why. If I may be so bold, I will try to provide you honest feedback on this, and maybe help you obtain better marks from future reviewers.  I will try to provide positive feedback, not criticize, because I like this poem and what you're saying. I also know you can say this much better than you have here. But you have to do this, no one else, it's your poem!
Title: This is very good for what you're trying to say in this poem.
Description: I suspect that since this was written early this year, that the contest is over. You might edit your description a little. Rewrite this entirely! Tell a potential reader why they should read this! You have 90 characters to work with, sell yourself and your poem here.
Rhyme/Rhythm: This is a free verse poem, so a rhyme scheme is not needed. But it needs some kind of rhythm to help it flow. Your syllable count for this poem is 10/16/11/19/14/10/6/13/6/4. As you can see, it jumps quite a bit. This makes it difficult to get a smooth flow to it as you read it.
General Comments:
1. In your description, you say, "I wonder what is wrong with this one!" It doesn't have any substance to it! Here's my take on this, and I will tell you all in a few questions. A. Why are you here in a graveyard watching clouds in the sky? B. What's going through your mind as you lie there relaxing? C. What the heck are birthday balloons doing on the ground nearby, what do they have to do with what you're trying to say? D. Most importantly, what's the point of this poem, what are you trying to tell us?
2. I said above that this poem lacks rhythm. Sit down and read this out loud. Listen how you stumble on the longer lines. Poetry is meant to flow smoothly as you read it. The lines don't need to have the same number of syllables all the time, but they have to be close. In one place, you move from 10 syllables to six, then back to 13, before ending with 6 and 4 in the last two lines. Here's an example of an excellent poem, and it's probably what caused me to start writing poetry.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W. H. Auden
Notice that the syllable count in the lines is not consistent. They vary from about 9 to 12 as you read it. But feel how it flows as you read it. Read it out loud, feel its power, feel its message.
Knowing all this now, look at your poem, and ask yourself, "What am I trying to convey here?" Then do it. If you're telling us that you're lying on the ground in a graveyard just watching the clouds go by, say it! Don't beat around the bush, come right out and tell us that you're there because your 'whimsy' has told you to lie here and relax a while. In other words, tell a small story using a poem. And remember, sometimes in poetry, less is better.
3. You use the word pinwheel twice in consecutive lines. This can be distracting in a poem as short as this.
Overall impressions: A nice poem that needs to tell us what it's about. Right now, it appears to be a rambling poem about your thoughts as you watch clouds in the sky.
Sum1
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