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2,753 Public Reviews Given
2,800 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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601
601
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi BlushingRose,

I just read your wee tale, Intergalactic Coffee.

APPEAL: What an interesting way to look at peace talks. This tale made me chuckle at the end and brightened my cloudy gloomy day. Thanks.

NAMES: The title caught my attention and drew me in. The characters’ names are too similar. Trun and Tron. You might consider changing one of them.

FORMAT: With the extra spacing between paragraphs it was extremely easy to read and understand.

SETTING: I get a sense of the coffee shop from your words.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Trun leant forwards, speaking conspiratorially across the table. -- It should read: Trun leaned forward,

DIALOGUE: The dialogue is smoothly written and I know who is speaking without the speech tags.

FLOW: The story moves in a logical manner from beginning to end.

{c/:indigo}Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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602
602
Review of THIS TIME OF YEAR  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tom,

I just read your wee essay, THIS TIME OF YEA .

APPEAL: This wee essay made me smile as I look out at a grey December sky here in KCK and added a wee bit of brightness to the gloomy day.

NAMES: Your title caught my attention and drew me in.

FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: This the time when Mother Nature really struts he stuff and stuns the eye with her vibrant array of perky colors. -- I think this would read better this way: This is the time of year, when Mother Nature really struts her sand…

People from away will again flock into Maine by car or tour bus to appreciate this annual passage of fleeting beauty. -- You accidentally left the word far out.

FLOW: This essay flows smoothly from beginning to end in a logical manner.


Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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603
603
Review of Autumntide  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Lyonesse,

I just read your wee poem, Autumntide.

APPEAL: Your wee poem made me feel all warm and fuzzy on this damp grey day here in KC.

NAMES: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me think of a wave of brightly color leaves fluttering about.

FORMAT: This poem is easy to read and understand.

SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

FLOW: Your poem flows smoothly from beginning to end in a logical manner.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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604
604
Review of The Autumn song  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ragdoll,

I just read your wee poem, The Autumn Song.

APPEAL: Your wee tale made me feel breathless as if I ran a marathon.

NAMES: Your title caught my attention and drew me in.

FORMAT: It’s easy to understand, yet a bit difficult to read without any punctuation.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: This poem needs some punctuation.

FLOW: This poem moves fairly smoothly from beginning to end without the punctuation.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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605
605
Review of The Clock Tower  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Kotaro,

I just read your wee tale, The Clock Tower.

APPEAL: Whoa. What sinister wee tale you have woven here. It made goosebumps dance down my arms.

NAMES: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. Sanger is an unusual name, yet fit the character quite nicely.

FORMAT: This tale is easy to read and understand.

SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words made me feel as if I am there.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: I want you you to be a part of this. -- You need to take one of the you out.

POINT OF VIEW: You stay with Sanger’s point of view throughout the tale. Good job.

FLOW: This tale flows smoothly from beginning to end in a logical manner.


Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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606
606
Review of Autumn  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Melissa,

I just read your wee poem, Autumn.

APPEAL: This wee poem makes me a bit sad as the leaves fall and die so Spring can come again.

NAMES: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. Autumn is such a colorful and beautiful time of year.

FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

FLOW: Your poem flows smoothly from beginning to end.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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607
607
Review of Seasons Change  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi beanner,

I just read your wee tale, Seasons Change.

APPEAL: This wee tale made me feel sad. Lost love is hard to accept.

NAMES: Your title caught my attention and drew me in.

FORMAT: This wee tale is easy to read and understand.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

FLOW: This tale moves smoothly from beginning to end in a logical manner.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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608
608
Review of Dragon Fire  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sapphire Aude,

You recently wrote me a review, so I thought I would return the favor.

I just read your wee tale, Dragon Fire.

APPEAL: This tale made me feel angry. Why would the dragon set the village on fire for apparently no reason?

NAMES: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. I have a passion for dragons so reading everything I can about them. You used a nice variety of names for your characters.

FORMAT: This tale is easy to read and understand.

SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written word that made me feel as if I am there. The first couple of sentences at the beginning are excellent.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: She began to act on autopilot, her subconscious taking the reins, not trusting her rational mind to prompt action were she allowed to think or feel. -- Technically there’s nothing wrong with this sentence, but autopilot is a bit modern for a fantasy tale set in olden times. Or am I wrong about the time period?

'oh shush' she said 'can't you see this is an emergency!'. -- This would read better this way: “Oh shush,” she said. “Can’t you see this is an emergency!” Or if you want you could put a comma after said and make the “c” a small letter.

The last month had seen Mina's tenth harvest and she was small for he age. -- You missed the “r’ on her.

POINT OF VIEW: You did a good job of staying in Mina’s point of view.

FLOW: This tale flows smoothly from beginning to end in a logical manner.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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609
609
Review of Black Fog  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi CirqueFreak,

I just read your tale, Black Fog.

APPEAL: Your wee tale sent chills down my arms. Nice scary wee tale you have here.

NAMES: The title caught my attention and drew me in.

FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand. Yet to be consistent you need to put a space between all the paragraphs.

SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written word that made me feel as if I am there.

LENGTH: You wrote a nice scary tale considering how short this tale is. Good job.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: So I just turned it off it put it back into my bag. -- This sentence would read better this way: So I just turned it off and put it back into my bag.

That same low evil growl, I looked around and it seems no one else hears it. -- Seems needs to be changed to seemed, and I think heard would be better instead of hears.

I felt the fog consume me, so I quickly got up; afraid it might kill me, and ran as fast as I can. -- Can should be could.

Acting brave, trying to ‘confront my fears to conquer them’, but really wanting to never having sight of it. -- Try wanting to never to have sight of it.

POINT OF VIEW: You did a good job of keeping this tale in the main character’s point of view.


FLOW: This tale flows smoothly from beginning to end in a logical manner.

Great Job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug
610
610
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Sleeps With One Eye Open 2012,

I just read your flash fiction tale,Torchlight August 11 2007 Revision.

APPEAL: Your wee tale left me wondering about a lot of things. Who kill McDonald? Was it Keeley? IF she did, why?

NAMES: Your title caught my attention and drew me in.

FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

SETTING: Your words paint a picture so I get a sense of the store.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

POINT OF VIEW: You did a good job of staying in Keeley’s point of view.

FLOW: This wee tale flows smoothly from beginning to end.

Great Job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug
611
611
Review of Rising Sun  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Pokeoh,

I just read the beginning of what appears to be a novel, Rising Sun

APPEAL: Your tale makes me curious.

NAMES: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. I didn’t know what kind of tale to expect.

FORMAT: This is easy to understand, yet a bit awkward on the eyes to read. I wish you would have put a space between each paragraph.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

FLOW: The story moves smoothly from beginning to end. Yet it’s being more told than shown.

Good job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug
612
612
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Tehuti,

I just read your wee tale, Daughter Of The Demon.

APPEAL: I like this tale very much. It filled me with curiosity.

NAMES: Your title capture my attention I drew me in.

FORMAT: This tale is easy to read and understand.


FLOW: This tale flows smoothly from beginning to end.


DO you plan on writing more on Silver Eagle Feather and what happens to her? What happened to Leaves Falling? Did she go and toss herself into the lake? Was Silver Eagle Feather’s father a real demon or just a white man?

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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613
613
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Oldwarrior,

I just read your wee poem, NO SILENT TEARS WILL FALL. What a wonderful tribute to those African American soldiers who died during the Civil War.

APPEAL: Your words made me feel sad and brought tears to my eyes for the sacrifice those brave children and men made on our behave.

NAMES: Your title caught my attention and drew me in.

FORMAT: Your poem is easy to read and understand even though it’s emotional.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

FLOW: Your poem flows smoothly from beginning to end.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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614
614
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi horsetrainer (29),

I just read your wee poem, Paths To Reservations. BRAVO!

APPEAL: Your words ring the truth of how the white man abused those who held out a helping hand. This poem brought tears of shame to my eyes even though I wasn’t alive when this injustice occurred.

NAMES: Your title told me this poem would be about Native Americans. I’ve always wanted to know more about their Nations and customs and wish I knew how and where to find such information.

FORMAT: Your poem is easy to read and understand. I think centering it, gives it eye catching appeal.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

DIALOGUE: Your poem flows smoothly from beginning to end.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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615
615
Review of BUFFALO THUNDER  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Wakinyan,

I just read your wee poem, Buffalo Thunder. It’s really hard to write an in depth review on such few words, yet I’ll give it a try.

APPEAL: The rhythm of the words made my blood sing with excitement.

NAMES: Your title caught my interest and drew me in.

FORMAT: This poem is easy to read and understand.

SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that makes feels as if I‘m there.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

FLOW: This poem flows smoothly line to line.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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616
616
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi SWPoet,

I just read your wee poem, Wolf Mother’s Legacy.

APPEAL: Your poem made me feel upbeat and alive.

NAMES: Your title caught my interest and drew me in.

FORMAT: Your poem is easy to read and understand. The way you intended the second line of each stanza gives it eye appeal.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

FLOW: Your poem flows smoothly line to line in a logical manner. The rhyme add a nice beat to the pace.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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617
617
Review of THE LIGHTHOUSE  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Countrymom,

I just read your wee poem, THE LIGHTHOUSE.

APPEAL: Your wee poem made the hairs on my arms stand up as the read it. A ghostly lighthouse saving sailors at sea. Tis a bit creepy yet fun to read.

NAMES: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. I have a fascination for lighthouses.

FORMAT: Your poem is easy to read and understand. Centering and using the blue and red has eye catching appeal.

SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written word that makes me feel as if I am there.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

FLOW: The poems moves smoothly from beginning to end in a logical manner.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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618
618
Review of The Wishing Well  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Crissy~Back!!!,

I just read your wee poem, The Wishing Well.

APPEAL: Your wee poem made me smile this morning and made me glad I got out of bed. I’m fighting a cold at the moment.

FORMAT: This poem is easy to read and understand.

SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written word that makes me feel as if I am there.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

FLOW: Your poem flows smoothly from beginning to end. And the rhyme sets a nice pace.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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619
619
Review of Spirit Dance  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with TGDI Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi turtlemoon,

I just read your wee poem, Spirit Dance.

APPEAL: Your title capture my attention I drew me in.

FORMAT: This poem is easy to read and understand.

SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written word that makes me feel as if I am there.

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

FLOW: The poem flows smoothly form beginning to end in a logical manner.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Ladybug

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620
620
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi turtlemoon,

I just read your wee poem, Native Night Visions.

APPEAL: Your title caught my attention and drew me in.

FORMAT: This poem is easy to read and understand.

You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words paint a vivid picture for the reader to see.

FLOW: This poem flows smoothly form beginning to end.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

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621
621
Review of Dream Walker  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi history lady,

I just read your wee tale, Dream Walker.

APPEAL: The beginning of this tale makes me angry. Who does Doaks think he is. Call Rachel names and threatening her.

NAMES: I like the variety of the names.

FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written word that makes me feel as if I am there.

LENGTH: I only wish this was longer. I wonder who the stranger is that grabbed her. Will he protect from the drunken men or hand her over to them?

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION: Since I’m not an expert editor and don’t know all the rules, I won’t comment on this area.

DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural and I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue tags.

POINT OF VIEW: You did a great job of keeping the story in Rachel’s point of view.

FLOW: This story moves smoothly from beginning to end.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

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622
622
Review of My Darkness  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Mysterious Wolf,

I just read your wee poem, My Darkness. This is sweet and to the point.

It’s easy to read and understand. The rhyme makes it flow smoothly line to line. The blue highlighted letters give this eye appeal. The spacing makes it easy on the eye to read.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Perhaps you would like to check out my portfolio!
http://www.Writing.Com/Authors/Ladybug

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623
623
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi The StoryMaster,

A wee birdie told me today was your birthday as a member of the WDC family. So I decided to take a peek at your port.

WOW! Your port is full of so many things to read, yet since I’m having trouble getting others to read and review my stuff, I read your article, Promoting Your Portfolio URL. I found the tips extremely helpful.

Your article is easy to read and understand. Putting the major points in bold print and larger print draws the reader’s attention.

Since I’m not an expert editor, I won’t make any comments on grammar or spelling unless I spot something that I know for a fact is incorrect.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

Check out my portfolio!
http://www.Writing.Com/authors/Ladybug

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624
624
Review of Grandma's Hands  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Piper Adams,

You wrote me a review sometime ago. I thought I would return the favorite and write one for you.

I just read your wee tale, Grandma's Hands. What a wonderful tribute to your grandma. This wee tale made me cry.

I can hear the love and the pain of lost in your words. I get a vivid picture of you in your granny’s arms.

This wee tale was easy to read and understand and packed with emotion. It flows beautifully from beginning to end.

I think it’s wonderful that knitting still brings you close to your grandmother even though she’s passed on.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

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625
625
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Bibble4,

You wrote me a review sometime ago. I thought I would return the favorite and write one for you.

I just read your wee poem, Poem from a dead girl. What a powerful poem. I can hear the pain and despair in these words from someone who’s lost their way in life.

Your words make me wonder just what could go so desperately wrong that would change someone so much.

This poem is easy to read and understand. It flows smoothly from line to line.

Great job.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak

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