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Review Requests: ON
948 Public Reviews Given
950 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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426
426
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi,

This is excellent. It reads quite convincingly - I'm glad I'm not the employee they're talking to!

I'd love to see where the story goes eventually. Let us know when you get it underway.

"Wages are payed" the word is "paid."

You covered all the little details pretty well, about no smoking and the crypto wages and all. I do wonder about water recycling. Are the bodily outputs turned back into drinking water, or is there a source of fresh water? But that probably wouldn't enter into the rulebook.

The observation that it'll take over eight years to get off of Titan after you're fired is amusing and provides interesting story potential.

Also, you should define "HAB" the first time you use it.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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427
427
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh my, this is splendid. I love how skillfully you incorporated the very poetic traits you are describing. And the nod to Edgar Allan Poe at the end is nice. Some of the world's greatest geniuses lived troubled lives. Nowadays we look at the big flashy billionaires and think how talented they are... it makes me wonder how many people in our time who are scoffed at and forgotten will someday be looked upon as the true geniuses.

Well, that was a tangent. This was a thoroughly enjoyable read. I liked the flow from one issue to the next, and it kept me chuckling.

Thanks for sharing, congrats on the well-deserved award, and keep writing *Smile*

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428
428
Review of The Plan  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lovely little poem, detailing big plans for a wedding using sweet personification of the classic objects.

I enjoyed reading this, and as is usual when I review poetry, I can't think of any real improvements to suggest. The flow is good and the lines are measured well.

Perhaps adding a couple more objects to the narrative, such as the rings or the wedding gown or something, would be interesting.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing, and welcome to the community *Smile* *HeartT*

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429
429
Review of Star  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

This is the review you requested *Smile*

I find it hard to criticize poetry most of the time, as I feel like once someone's gone to the trouble of carefully choosing their meter and words and arranging their thoughts, it would be difficult to go in and tear it up and rearrange it for someone else. I believe poetry is a highly artistic and subjective form of writing, and almost anything goes as long as it's from the heart.

That being said, I love this poem. The meter flows so well, I can really feel it. It would be great to read aloud.

Your thoughts are heartfelt and sincere and express the universality of love and the constant nature of the galactic entities in a classic observation.

I don't have anything to suggest to improve the actual poem. Perhaps you could fancy up the presentation some by choosing "comic" font and a pretty color, centering it, and adding spaces between the couplets or elsewhere. Also, I can't tell on mobile, but you may want to increase the font size to 3 or more for those on desktop. You can play around with it and see what you like.

A beautiful poem that would be nice to write out by hand in a fancy script and frame as a gift.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT* *Quill*

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430
430
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a fascinating idea. I'm so glad you posted this for our consideration. Your philosophical musings are a little change from the varied and sundry short stories and poetry.

I struggle with the concept of religious faith, as it seems to be an experience beyond my understanding. I want to have the spiritual "feels" and yet I feel as though if I did, it would not really be something outside of myself, but it would be "all in my head." Having a vivid imagination doesn't help. I try my best to keep a firm grip on reality and not fall into psycho-spiritual traps of various kinds.

Thanks for sharing your unique perspective, keep moving forward and keep writing *Smile**Pray**Heartb*
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431
431
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
An amusing narrator that turns the old story on its head. You've developed the voice well and made us sympathize with the hungry wolf.

I would recommend choosing another two genres for this, because you have a higher chance of being nominated for a Quill award that way. I think "comedy" and "children's" or even "folklore" would be suitable here.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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432
432
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi again,

Another cute little story. I like the descriptions of all the black cats and the gathering and reckoning of their activities. It’s something to think about when I see a black cat.

As before, I would suggest two other genres be added, perhaps “folklore” and “supernatural” but that’s not really a big issue.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing*HeartO*


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433
433
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a nice little story. Cozy and quick flash fiction that shows us the forest isn’t so scary after all.
I would recommend adding a word count to the subtitle and perhaps moving the info about the contest entry to the bottom of the item so you can describe the item in the subtitle.
Also a third genre would be helpful for people to find it. I would suggest “environment” or “children’s” as being suitable.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing*HeartT*


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434
434
Review of Cherubs  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A cute poem personifying the four snow people seen in the contest picture.

I found it amusing and fun to read.

I would suggest clearing out the empty space at the bottom of the item, and also "May we pleased" should probably just be "please." Aside from that I can't think of any improvements to make.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Snow1*

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435
435
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

Here's the review you requested *Smile*

This is an excellent story that I enjoyed reading. You covered all the essential points: characters, conflict, dialogue, tension, and relief, while making an amusing just-so story that brings a chuckle.

I wondered from the subtitle if it would be an outcry against the use of furs, but I see it's more lighthearted than that.

There aren't any typos that I can see other than a basic bit at the end (if you want the text centered, select it all first... Otherwise you can remove that last word.)

Perhaps you should make the font larger; I'm not sure from mobile, but I think you used the default very small size or close to it.

The story itself is great and I can see no obvious areas for improvement. You've employed all the stereotypes of cavemen while giving them understandable language and customs that makes it relevant and relatable.

If you want a second opinion that may be of more help, you can visit Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 and post this in his Review Spot.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartb*
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436
436
Review of Dear Ingrid  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings *Smile*

A charming letter to a lady who embedded herself upon your memory in a brief and positive way.

I love the formatting you chose; the "pink rose dividers" add a gorgeous touch, like a handwritten letter.

I'm not sure I understand your use of the phrase "will be pervious" in relation to the day; you may want to check on that.

The word "signification" should probably be "significance."

I noticed there's a large block of empty space at the bottom of your item; perhaps you could clear that out to keep it tidy.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartp*
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437
437
Review of Feathers  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I'm a softie for a good poem...

This is beautiful, striking, and heart-rending. I love the nature metaphors of water and feathers; the scattered feathers makes me think of prey...

Your desire to stand strong for her and highlight the positive and remind her how precious life is, is really something.

I am sorry for your loss. This poem is a real treasure.

Thank you for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile**Heartb*
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438
438
Review of The Beast Inside  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey, great story. You've perfectly incorporated all the Greek mythology and references to the gods and other characters, while making a tale with a happy ending and giving us a young narrator and a not so scary monster.

It's cute and tactfully done and probably a prize winner. I noticed a few minor punctuation errors, but not worth mentioning.

You might be able to submit this to the What a Character contest, but I don't know if there's time to flesh it out and develop the minotaur further before the end of the month.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile**HeartB*

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439
439
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A well-told tale of someone making a difficult decision with the support of her husband. It describes the visceral emotional responses and the kindness and love in the relationship with care and imagination.

I noticed the husband's words were frequently left out of quotation marks at the start of his dialogue, but this is a minor issue. I would recommend cutting out the first paragraph, as it appears to be a scrappy repeat of the more polished and thought-out paragraph below it.

A brief and memorable piece that focuses on hope and determination in the face of tough decisions.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*
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440
440
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
What an amazing story about a wonderful human being. I read it through and was quite impressed with how you wrote and the sincerity with which you conveyed your feelings.

I noticed some minor typos:
• "never seized once" should be "ceased."
• "they had told me that you had passed away" the extra "had" is unnecessary in this context
• "mammogram that I am late" should be a comma after "mammogram"

I'm very happy you got to know such a wonderful NP who cared so much about her patients. She has made an impact on people's lives and will not be forgotten.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT*
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441
441
Review of The Terrible Gift  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A brave poem expressing the deepest feelings and concerns of the narrator about what has befallen them. The contradictory emotions and desires run the gamut of life's experiences... The narrator wants to cram all of life into the unknown amount of time they have left.

It brings in the genetic understanding of breast cancer, as something passed down in one's lineage, though the logic of a gift implies that the person knew what it was and thought it was good, so I feel as though the metaphor, though powerful, is somewhat flawed.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing.

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442
442
Review of How to be special  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Johnny,

I love quick innocent things like this. It's a nice little fable using the chess pieces as a metaphor. We all have our unique purpose and talents, and that's the way it should be.

I see no points to correct or anything. It's a good piece of kid-friendly flash fiction.

A good idea would be to include the word count in the subtitle so people are encouraged to check it out.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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443
443
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

I saw this on the sidebar and thought it looked interesting.

I like how well you've formatted it, with font size and color coding. It looks like it would make a good children's board book type of thing, especially with the helpful vocabulary list.

This is well written and enjoyable to read. Your characterization of a teenager's busy day is understandable and relatable, and you have a good command of English.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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444
444
Review of Redeemed  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

I noticed this on the sidebar and thought I'd take a look.

Well written and interesting. A bit predictable towards the end, but good to read anyway. I don't know if it was a good idea for them to get out and walk inside the subway tunnel, but I have no experience with subways.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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445
445
Review of Time Trap  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Cool piece of fantasy work here. You've built the world well and made a creative story.

I liked the way the sorceress (by the way, you dropped the "r" in the word in the subtitle) outwits the man by using his own demon against him.

You have a good way of writing, and this is a good world to continue writing about.

I see no typos or anything to fix.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*
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446
446
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Wow, what a cool story. I hope the Walter trapped in the violin learns some lessons as the apprentice takes good care of him and makes him sing.

Very creative and well written. I love violins and it's interesting to think that the wood might be unethically sourced in a fantasy world.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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447
447
Review of Who  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A nice little piece, not strictly holiday related but artistic and creative. I like the nature girl and her flute. You've incorporated the owls well. It sounds like a sample of a larger story; you can do a lot with this character and setting.

Thanks for sharing, good luck and keep writing *Smile*

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448
448
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for sharing this with us.

I'm glad you were able to spend so much quality time with your loved ones. They were very strong and hard working women. It's good to write it all down so that you have a family record and something to share with others.

The poem at the end is a little unclear for me; did you write it as a finish to the story, or is that the name of the poet?

One thing I noticed is that the word "lymph" in "lymph nodes" is misspelled several times as "lump." Other than that I didn't find anything to correct.

Take care and keep writing *Smile*
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449
449
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

A strong letter to our enemy that expresses your feelings well. I like how you make it feel like you're shouting on a podium at a rally. It reminds us to take care of ourselves and never give up hope, and personifies the cancer as a bully without using the vulgarity I see sometimes when cancer is personally addressed.

The pink color and bold font is a great idea and adds to the emotional impact.

I noticed you only have one real genre selected. I would recommend using all three to ensure people can find it if they're looking for it. Perhaps "experience" and "community" would be good choices.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *AwarenessP*

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450
450
Review of The dragon's den  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, Kaden,

Here's the review you requested *Smile*

I really enjoyed this story and found it exciting. You wrote well without any typos or misspellings that I could see.

The only thing I noticed is that several points in the narrative did not flow logically. I felt as if you had made revisions and didn't join it all together smoothly. I'll try to explain what I mean.

The first point is where the knight already has his sword when he sees the man holding the lance. But then the words "sword" and "lance" get mixed up and the knight ends up receiving the extra weapon from the man even though the man might need it if the dragon escapes his lair (it's unclear if the knight gave his sword to the man in exchange.) Also, you have no dialogue tags in their conversation, and the man speaks over several paragraphs, so it becomes unclear who is speaking after a bit.

Perhaps when you describe the peace of the night forest it should rather be ominous. Maybe even the smell of burnt wood or something.

Then, when the knight enters the lair, you have him staring into the dragon's eyes before he even sees the dragon, when he trips over the stash.

Also, I'm not sure if coins of jade exist or if a dragon would be interested in them. But that's a minor point.

Then at the end, the knight rides off on his horse despite having been injured. Perhaps it would be nicer if the man bandaged the knight's burn for him with some special native salve from the area. After all, he's a hero now. But that hardly matters.

This was a fun read with a classic form, and aside from what I noticed it's nearly perfect in my opinion.

If you're interested in a second opinion, you can visit Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 and post this in his Review Spot forum.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT**Quill*

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