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Review Requests: ON
938 Public Reviews Given
939 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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351
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

This was an enjoyable and amusing spin on the old fairytale. I liked how pathetic the wolf was, and his reasons for gobbling up the other two pigs are well thought and understandable. The female wolves were hilarious; it’s nice to know that such tough ladies were good friends with that kindly little girl piggy.

I chuckled at the end when the wolf and the girl pig decide to be friends; one can only wonder what happened when she found out he’d eaten her brothers. I would be suspicious of a taxidermist pig who had acquired a wolf’s head, myself, however *Laugh*

I don’t see any typos or anything to fix or modify in the story. Perhaps a word count at the beginning or in the subtitle would be helpful. It might also be good for the older people on the site if you used a larger font… but I’m so tired of saying that, it’s beside the point *Rolling*

Thanks for sharing, take care, happy new year and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I’m glad I saw this. It is very important that we all understand the dangers of online scammers, especially these days when finances are tight.

I would like to offer some helpful tips about avoiding scams for us all from the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, or FDIC:

~ Do not open email from people you don’t know. If you are unsure whether an email you received is legitimate, try contacting the sender directly via other means. Do not click on any links in an email unless you are sure it is safe.

~ Be careful with links and new website addresses. Malicious website addresses may appear almost identical to legitimate sites. Scammers often use a slight variation in spelling or logo to lure you. Malicious links can also come from friends whose email has unknowingly been compromised, so be careful.

~ Secure your personal information. Before providing any personal information, such as your date of birth, Social Security number, account numbers, and passwords, be sure the website is secure.

~ Stay informed on the latest cyber threats. Keep yourself up to date on current scams. The Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA) can provide you with Alerts.

~ Use Strong Passwords. Strong passwords are critical to online security. Review CISA guidance on Choosing and Protecting Passwords.

~ Keep your software up to date and maintain preventative software programs. Keep all of your software applications up to date on your computers and mobile devices. Install software that provides antivirus, firewall, and email filter services.

~ Update the operating systems on your electronic devices. Make sure your operating systems (OSs) and applications are up to date on all of your electronic devices. Older and unpatched versions of OSs and software are the target of many hacks.

Also remember that legitimate companies will never threaten to have you arrested or put pressure on you to send them gift cards. Gift cards are never a legitimate way to pay bills.

Thank you for sharing this warning with us. I am very sorry that you have lost so much money over this. Take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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353
Review of The Lighthouse  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to Writing.com!

A beautiful and touching autobiographical story here. Thank you very much for sharing this with us. At least, I’m assuming it’s a true story. I don’t know if your poor formatting and grammar errors are due to an unfamiliarity with the English language; I would hope a college educated architect would be able to write better *Confused*

But never fear, I’m not criticizing your sincerity and hard work at all*Hug1**Smile**Hug2* There is nothing in this item that the use of the free online writing assistant Grammarly couldn’t correct (though I would ask, was it 7 years or 2 years since you had last seen your sister?)

I love the symbolism of the lighthouse and its connection to love and forgiveness. You have painted a simple, memorable and heartfelt image of family.

I would recommend adding two more suitable genres to your item and also a word count in the subtitle. The word count helps people know whether they have time to read the entire item in one sitting.
The additional genres help us find your item when browsing through the categories of different stories. I would suggest “Experience,” “Family” or “Drama.”

Take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well well, hello old pal,

I noticed this on the sidebar and thought it might make a fun read. Turns out I’ve already seen it and didn’t bother reviewing it *Laugh*

A cute and mouthwatering poem, carefully counted out to make an inverse pyramid of syllables. The task of resisting the temptation of jelly donuts is one I can sympathize with, as can anyone I suppose. Yet I don’t have to worry much about my own waistline… people tell me I’m too thin, even though I eat like a horse *Donut* *HorseHead*

Looks like you’ve used the largest possible font size, which makes it fun to read like a board book. As usual I recommend adding two relevant genres, such as “Food/cooking” and “Experience.” Also, it would be helpful to know which contest you entered it in.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* I look forward to continuing our friendship in 2024.


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I enjoyed reading this little Bible study of yours; it was enlightening. I have often wondered about the origins of the book of Esther myself, as it has always struck me as the odd one out in the Old Testament. There is no mention of the Hebrew religion at all, and one would debate why it is included in the Bible. The Essene scribes who wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls did not have copies of Esther in their cavern libraries. This would make perfect sense if the book of Esther was actually written by the Gentiles.

Thank you for sharing, take care, happy new year, and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb* *Pray*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Paul,

Nice to read an item from you.

I enjoyed these two little dialogue bits inspired by the prompt words. It's amazing what one can do with just a handful of words. And your personal anecdotes add a touch of realism and charm to it. Siamese cats are some of the loveliest and most intelligent ones.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review of Rest In Peace  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings,

Good grief, I thought Roald Dahl was zany! This is a zany little story, alright. Exaggerated and amusing, it tells of the escapades of a man and his self-exhumed grandma.

It switches formats in a somewhat experimental way, from the first person description of what happened from the grandson's POV to a couple paragraphs of brief summary. But that carries it along quicker than it might have otherwise.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile*


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Review of The Library Lady  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings,

A charming story about orphans and libraries and a shared love of books. I enjoyed the warm and simple narrative style, though I felt as though it "told" more than "showed." Everyone tells us to "show" around here, but it isn't always necessary.

I love how you mentioned the Trixie Belden series at the end. Those were a hallmark of my own childhood, and I had fun reading them. As I grew older I realized I didn't like some of them as much anymore because they victimized the heroine too much, but I did learn a lot from the series about using dialogue among characters to bring stories to life.

Thanks for sharing, take care, happy new year and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb* *Quill* *Reading*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings,

I greatly appreciate this defense of staring. It’s well written and clearly explains your reasons for doing something which may seem quite rude to others.

I know how it feels both to be stared at and to be the one staring. I often find myself lost in various strange thoughts, and sometimes I accidentally fix my gaze on people while I’m thinking about something else entirely. Other times I’m looking at someone’s vehicle, studying the make and model, and it seems like I’m looking at the driver or the people inside. And I cut such a skinny and mysterious figure (dressed in dark colors and nonbinary clothes most of the time) that people often stare at me and even ask if I’m ok *Laugh*

And then there are the times I smile or laugh to myself and happen to catch a man’s eyes and they think I’m grinning at them… *Pthb*

As usual when I review items here, I would recommend using a larger font size such as 3.5 or 4; it makes the items more engaging and easier to read.

It’s also a good idea to include a word count in your subtitle, so people can see that it’s a brief article that can be read quickly.

And I usually remind authors to add a suitable third genre to their writing. A category such as "Experience," "Personal," or "Philosophy" would be fine here.

Thanks for sharing, take care, happy new year and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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360
Review of The Big Race  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings,

I wondered what the punchline would be on this one - powdered donuts, indeed! The ones from The Chin had pocket lint on them, plus once the guy consumed all of his winnings he wouldn’t be in any shape to run at all *Rolling*

A thoroughly amusing read as we see a situation with enough ambiguity to keep us guessing. It’s a good old “tortoise and hare” style fable about pressing on while others flounder. Your details are visceral and realistic.

I would recommend using a larger font size for your items; I’ve noticed you use the default size, and though it can be enlarged on most devices, I find a story looks more engaging and easier on the eyes if the font size is at least 3.5 or 4. Some people even take points off of the score for that.

I also see that you’ve only picked one irrelevant genre for this item. I would suggest “Sports,” “Comedy,” and “Community.” There are plenty of others to choose from. It would help people find and enjoy the item if it has three appropriate genres.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review of Jettison  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings,

A heartbreaking story… I don’t often seek out or read stories that make me cry, but this one did. It reminded me of a short story I had to read in my Elements of Literature textbooks years ago, something about a girl who stowed away on a delivery flight and had to be jettisoned because she ruined the precisely calculated fuel allotment. I can’t remember the title or who wrote it at the moment.

Every detail here was touchingly rendered, from the main character’s hopes and dreams to the little boy’s space Lego project which becomes the final reminder of his mother’s love.

It’s interesting to see that this was inspired by one of those Media Prompt Challenges; I’m a newbie and I find those little monthly activities quite fun. I love coming across old ones. I noticed you went almost three times over the recommended word count… I went over the recommendation myself in my most recent one *BigSmile*

I see you picked out all three genres, and none of them were science fiction. The technology described here is fairly straightforward and nothing too far-fetched; one can only hope that something like this never happens in our lifetime (gee, have I ever stopped to consider the total number of casualties involved in our exploration of space to date? *Shock2*)

I found some minor typos:
~ Carters's face was animated, waving the box Might be better rendered as “animated as he waved the box” and an extra s in the name.
~ … Well, I thought there was another one but I can’t find it again…

Thanks for sharing, happy new year, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartBl*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

This is awesome! I love every bit of it: the poetic structure and centered columns with easy flowing prose, the snowflakes between each set of lines, the simplicity of your theme.

You have captured the essence of the seasonal cycles of life and the fragile beauty of nature, balancing the melting snowflakes with the falling flower petals in a memorable image. The personification of the snowflake family is charming and unique.

I see you’ve had over 60 reviews of this over the years, so I doubt I could offer much in the way of improvements. I would perhaps choose a third genre for the item, maybe “Environment” or “Inspirational.”

Happy account anniversary, best wishes for a happy new year, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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363
Review of Harry's Prairie  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

Oh goodness, this was funny. I totally wasn’t expecting that “heartbreaking” twist at the end, but it fits so well with my own experience as an environmentally minded gardener. Poor Harry and his well-intentioned dreams of having a natural prairie garden, plowed under by an annoying neighbor.

I loved your writing style and found it easy to read and follow along. It’s a lighthearted item, with a serious theme about the environment and taking care of the land. We see two men whose ideas about how to manage land are at odds, with comical results.

Perhaps a larger font size would help make it easier to read for older people and those with eye issues. Larger font also makes a story look more visually engaging.

Thanks for sharing, happy new year, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartg*


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Review of Spotted Pup  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Here’s the review you requested *Smile*

First thing I noticed is you have a bit of empty space at the top of your item, about the size of one verse.

Formatting aside, I like this poem. You’ve used repetition to reinforce the theme of a spotted ranch pup, advancing through the cycle of life and expressing hope for the next generation of spotted pups. The brief and simple vocabulary paints a picture of the western cattle ranch and the faithful, hard-working dog without using too many words.

I can’t usually think of much to say about poetry; I don’t like making suggestions about syllables or meter and all that technical stuff, and anything else is highly subjective and purely up to the author’s discretion.

I enjoyed reading this; thanks for sharing, happy new year and keep writing *Heartb*


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365
Review of WDC Pro-Tips  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Tina!

This is a great idea to help the community with a handy resource. I also really enjoyed learning more about Schnujo's in Georgia and her rise to WDC fame. I’m a newbie, so I’ve only noticed one or two of her pro tips.

I noticed a few minor typos in your writing:

~ a well-known prominent member Should be “well-known and prominent”
~ The following sentence is quite long and could use a semicolon or be two sentences.
~ gained over 300 fans and you can insert a comma at the “and.”
~ During the 2017/2017 Quill Awards, should be “2016/2017”
~ recipient of 3 bachelor's degrees needs a comma.

Ok, that’s all for tiny typos *Smile*

Thanks for putting this together. Take care, happy new year, and keep writing *Heartb*


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366
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings,

I found this in the I Write 2024 project.

I appreciate you sharing this with us, as it must be more than a little embarrassing to have your work so scrutinized by people who are mostly total strangers, and then to post that criticism for other strangers to look at and say "oh my, you had so much room for improvement!"

I have a quick suggestion for this item: when you direct us to dropnotes, you should specify that those are found within the essay you are speaking of and not within this particular item. It may seem like a no-brainer, but for some reason I was expecting the whole essay in several editions to be embedded in this item *Laugh*

I know all about the excitement of first joining WdC, posting that first item, and waiting breathlessly for feedback on it. If you are interested in looking at my first item, it's "Virus" . I have received lots of helpful feedback on it, and I know it's a work in progress that I'm just a bit too lazy/busy to get back to. Part of me also cringes a bit at the story itself, which is something I was glad to finally get out of my head, like an exorcism.

Thank you for sharing this consideration of your writing journey, take care, and keep on writing *Smile* *Quill*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello and welcome to Writing.com!

You reviewed my submission to the Media Prompt Challenge the other day, and I glanced over your port, but didn't get an opportunity to review your item until it appeared in the Read a Newbie sidebar.

I like how it's a flash fiction, short enough to read quickly, yet containing within itself a (mostly) full and vivid story.

You portray the struggles of a homeless person with clarity and understanding; I especially appreciate the opening about getting oneself all snuggled up and being reluctant to move out into the cold, as that happens to me even at home *Laugh*

The vignette is clear and poignant, as we see the main character touched by the kindness and appearance of the server. I noticed you carefully avoided using gender pronouns for any of the figures, which leaves the scenario open to our imagination. (Oh, I just checked again and saw you left in one pronoun at "the cooks behind her..." I'm not saying that ruins the effect or anything, but if you're going for gender neutral or avoidance of stereotypes, you missed a spot *Wink*)

It's cool to see how much your item has in common with the one of mine you reviewed; we both... Oh, I just realized you must have written it for the same challenge *Rolling* Now I get it.

If you did, I would recommend you include a note, differentiating it with either a smaller font of a different style or using a dropnote ▼ to list the word count and prompt. You can even include the Merit Badge you will receive for participating, in approximately a month *Delight* What I do is embed the Newsfeed note itself using {note:968320} as a primary source.

A minor typo:
• Even as evetyone

A suggestion:
• the breeze ceased to brush up against my skin... perhaps a stronger word would be better to emphasize the unpleasantness and the season than "breeze," such as "cold wind."
• get up from the floor again, a more descriptive term would help here, such as "unyielding pavement..."

I enjoyed reading this and I'm glad I stopped by.

Thanks for sharing, happy new year and keep writing *Smile* *HeartB*


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368
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

I noticed this floating around the site, and read a review of it from a friend of mine and thought it sounded like a fun read.

Indeed it is: lighthearted and amusing with a happy ending. It reads like a metaphor for our own complicated technology, especially the name of the final spell to undo the previous ones. One quickly sympathizes with the newbie magician as he tries to fix the mess he's gotten into. It reminds me a little bit of Disney's The Sorcerer's Apprentice but of course yours is a unique spin on the theme.

I enjoyed reading this, and now I'll have to stop by your port and see what else is there *Reading*

Thanks for sharing, happy new year and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review of Animal Help  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Season's greetings *Snow4*
Welcome to writing.com *Smile*

A beautiful little story about a girl going for a hike to appreciate God's creation. I like how you included a variety of different animals: the birds, squirrels and even a sleeping fox. It adds to the atmosphere and helps us picture the scenery without using too many words to describe what everyone understands.

When she climbs into the tree and watches the eggs hatching, I'm wondering where the mother bird is and hoping Janet is keeping a safe distance from the nest. Birds are sensitive to intruders and her presence would disrupt their natural routines.

I know it's a very brief and simple tale, but I wonder what region she lives in where wolves roam free. And if the wolf pup was injured I might think the rest of the pack would come looking for it and bring it food, though I don't know for sure. It's been a long time since I read White Fang.

I love the Bible quotes you've included, and I like how you centered their text blocks. It appears you left the default font size, though on mobile I'm uncertain. I would recommend using a larger size font because on desktop, default font size is quite small and creates a cramped and "boring" feeling. For my own work I prefer size 3.5 or 4. The larger size makes an engaging read and is easier for the elderly and those with poor eyesight to enjoy.

You may want to add a note at the end for your own reference, of which contest you wrote it for, the prompt and word count. You can use a dropnote ▼ to keep it tidy and professional.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartb*
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Season's greetings,

Welcome to Writing.com!

I read this yesterday before it had a review... I was going to review it, but life, y'know. Anyway, I see you added a little more at the end since then.

A really cool story that piques our interest in a post apocalyptic world. I like your writing style; when I first started reading I wasn't sure if it would be dark and gritty (descriptions of bodies blown open and all that) but it's written lightly with a touch of humor.

The sci-fi concept of a nuclear explosion creating a new form of life out of what has been destroyed is creative; I'm not too big on sci-fi, but I think it's unique among the other concepts.

Your characters are amusing, as they find themselves in Antarctica under such peculiar circumstances.

A few questions come to mind, such as: are the people in Antarctica the last surviving humans? Did you really mean to say "eighty percent" of land is still inhabitable? And of course, what will become of everyone and will there be a "happy" ending of some kind, a satisfying resolution...

I don't see any errors to correct; I'm assuming the lack of quotation marks around the dialogue at the end (within the conscious cloud) are a quirk of emphasizing the oddity of what's happening.

I would recommend using a large font size; on mobile I'm not sure what size you've used, but I prefer 3.5 or 4 rather than the default.

Also, your dialogue that is set in quotation marks needs to be spaced.

Looking forward to hearing more about this situation you've created.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review of Deadline Looming  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Season’s greetings,

This was a good read. I’m happy that you were able to handle the challenging situation well. It’s an inspiration for those of us who are terrified of public speaking - or even of speaking in general *Laugh*

I would suggest choosing a larger font size for your text; I like to use size 3.5 or 4 myself. It makes the story feel more engaging and is also easier to read for elderly people or those with poor eyesight.

Being as this is a personal story, I have a hard time making any suggestions for improvement in the way I might with fiction, because it’s your voice and you can say it how you please.

Perhaps the first sentence could be restructured to introduce the situation in a more clear way, but we understand quickly enough what’s going on, and when the sentence repeats at the end it ties together in a satisfying way.

I don’t see any serious grammar issues or typos. Your voice comes through with sincerity and simplicity.

You can offset the notes at the beginning and end in a smaller size font so the presentation is tidier.

Thank you for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*
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Review of Chocolate  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Season’s greetings,

I enjoyed reading this upbeat little poem about chocolate. It conveys your feelings about the food in question with unmistakable clarity and slightly exaggerated humor. The rhyming of “chocoholic” and “frolic” is creative.

Your detailed explanation of which poetic form you’ve chosen is helpful and greatly appreciated. I never pay much attention to syllable counts and structures myself, and it’s always good to be able to see how it’s done.

I would recommend adding two standard genres for the item, maybe “entertainment” and “personal”. They don’t have to be an exact match.

Thanks for sharing. Now I have a hankering for chocolate *Laugh*
Take care and keep writing *Smile*
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello again,

I'm a music lover, and this parody got a good chuckle out of me. I recognize so much of the style of music critics and "informative" articles in it. As a fan of an unbelievably popular band which shall remain unnamed (hint: it's connected to that MB I just sent you) I'm familiar with the amount of flack musicians can get despite their tracks blowing up the charts, and I've even accused a critic of being high myself in my music journal.

The puns keep us on our toes, from the list of critters influenced by the Frog band to the name of the heaviest metal band leader, Krangsnarl *Rolling*

The footnotes add to the parody effect, as those are often added to articles. And you've sprinkled enough familiar names in to give it a facsimile of realism. (What sort of critter is a Barry Manilow?) And the observation about the churches taking offense is relatable. They just don't get it! *Laugh* And I caught the multiple puns and references in "wandering pig"... From Bacon to Canned Heat (Mom loves Goin Up the Country.)

Your grammar and mechanics leave nothing to be corrected, and I can't think of any way to make this rollicking item any better.

This hit home for me in a fun and enjoyable way as a music nerd.

Take care and keep writing *Smile* *Guitar* *Quill*


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374
374
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Season's greetings,

While checking your Trophy Room I saw several items I'd be interested in reading, and this was one of them.

A charming spin on those "Irish blessing" type of things. You've included humor in every sentence, from explaining who wrote the book to the accurate description of those old bookshops (little mom and pop thrift stores are like that too).

At this point I feel like I know you... Any chance Budleigh Salterton is where you live? *Laugh* it crops up often in your writing.

I can't think of any suggestions to make except perhaps to choose a third relevant genre. "Spiritual" or "Entertainment" might do.

Thanks for being here to brighten our days with your humor. It's much appreciated.

Take care and keep writing *Smile* *Quill*

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375
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Season's greetings, Johnny,

I liked how brief this is; it's always nice to have a quick little flash fiction that shows us a life with a few words.

I see you've included the word count in the subtitle, which is good for helping people decide to read it.

You've also picked three genres, which is always encouraged so people can find the item when they're searching, and also helps for Quill nominations...

I like the repetition of the phrase "Sam hated Christmas," - oh, you used the wrong word for "steak." Just realized what you meant.

It's a little reminder that not everyone has a cute corny Christmas. We all have different lives; some people may not celebrate Christmas at all, others struggle with various hardships that make it an unhappy time of year.

Thanks for sharing, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and keep writing *HeartT*


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