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1,453 Public Reviews Given
1,456 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
Least Favorite Item Types
AI Generated Content of Any Kind.
I will not review...
NSFW or AI generated content. Please do not send me anything that comes back from QuillBot AI detector as more than 25% AI generated. I will check and decline it.
Public Reviews
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

What a charming introduction to your portfolio, Emily! I love the surfing theme and the way you’ve formatted it, with large clear font, cool ocean colors, and dozens of carefully arranged emoticons. (Those turtles… *InLove2*)

I also really appreciate the way you’ve organized it, with a section for very short stories and other bits and pieces, and a spot for longer items… everything is neat, tidy and easy to browse through. I saw many items I’d love to read, including one with a title featuring my username *Shock2* I noticed your items have a variety of ratings and a diversity of genres, plus you’ve won many awards. Even something as subtle as adding cover art to every item was not neglected, creating a distinct visual appeal and helping us decide which items might be more interesting. Overall, you’ve done a wonderful job making your port intro as bright and inviting as possible, and I simply can’t wait to dive right in!

I also find it fascinating how you’ve incorporated many elements and themes of your unique life experience into your writing, creating stories featuring Hawaiian topics.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Ooh, nothing like a little drama to keep things exciting. In the Air Tonight is a song that always unnerved me, and you’ve captured the essence of what it feels like in a nutshell in your poem. I like how you’ve included the background rumors about why the original song was written. I never bothered researching it, assuming it’s simply something that Phil Collin’s dreamed up in his head. As a young person, I’ve noticed a lot of his songs have somewhat unusual subject matter, bordering on the eerie or mysterious.

I would suggest using three appropriate genres for the item: “Drama,” “Mystery” or “Dark” would be suitable to help people find the poem when browsing. Aside from that I don’t have anything to suggest. This was haunting and eerie, just like the song, with a new twist as it’s addressed to a different character in the drama which unfolded and left such an impact.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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453
453
Review of Rain  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Ooh, more nature poetry. This one has a lovely flow to it, as if we’re singing to a child during the rainstorm. Knowing the background of the form you’ve chosen makes it more appealing, and we admire your adherence to the structure and the ability to create something simple, unique and meaningful out of it. I think perhaps if I were writing using this form I would tweak it by making the end lines rhyme with themselves to draw the poem together; I remember Robert Frost did something similar in his poem Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening. This would aid memorization. Which reminds me, this is such a nice poem that I’m sure I would have written it down and memorized it as a kid. I had a huge collection of poetry.

The words you’ve chosen paint a vivid picture of a passing rain, with appropriate sound words and the steady dripping of water into puddles after the storm is over. It’s instantly relatable and comfortable, something we’ve all experienced.

When I saw “invalid item” for the forum I assumed it must be a very old item, but seeing the date, I’d like to inquire if this was written for a contest hosted by former member Dr. Rupali Goswami. She made many helpful contributions to WdC, and she is greatly missed.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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454
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

I love a good nature poem, and you’ve created a charming word picture for us here.

A family of geese plays in their native element, allowing us to see their distinct personalities as they grow and change in preparation for their migratory journey south. This is a fine rhyming story for children, teaching about the cycle of seasons, growth and renewal that makes up life. We see the graceful geese taking off in flight to their winter home, and we hope that they’ll be back next spring to raise a new brood of chicks. The meter romps along playfully, aiding the childlike feeling of the piece.

I would suggest using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. You can also change the “contest entry” genre to “Nature” to help people find this when browsing.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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455
455
Review of Geometricacy  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Well, my good fellow, this is your month. I shall poke through your port and drop some reviews.

Nonsense in the good old-fashioned way, as we see a creature (a cat, presumably) boasting of the chaotic mess it’s made of things. The overall feel of the poem is somber, partly because we can’t really understand what it means (not that any serious meaning should be ascribed to it) and partly because of word choices like “tears,” “deaf ears,” “all wrong,” and others. It reminds me of the poem by TS Eliot, Macavity, about a sinister cat with uncanny powers that eludes the grasp of Scotland Yard.

I like the meter and rhymes; it flows well and keeps us engaged with creativity and quirkiness.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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456
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

I was browsing your port and found something that looked lighthearted enough for my fussbudget tastes. I love the collaborative aspect of it. I’ve often wondered if collaborating on a single static item is possible around here. One of my old friends had an idea about that, but it fell flat.

This is a charming story about a little girl and her first day at school. I loved the inclusion of her beloved teddy bear, and the twist about Ms Devine was slightly unexpected and interesting. The characters and storyline fell together well even as you took turns writing, and it was very nice to read.

I did find some typos scattered throughout, but they didn’t distract from the narrative. As an item in a larger project of which I’m unaware, I think this was a great way to experiment with having two people work together on a story. The words and phrases used are bright and creative; I chuckled at the playground nursery rhyme, and I thought “a long coat of looking at” was ingenious to describe a sizing up stare. I was afraid it would be sad, but overall it was happy, with the potential for greater depth to be explored in the future.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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457
Review of Since We're Here  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

This was enjoyable and nice to read. It reminds me of the themes of various songs written over the years. The simplicity and repetition leads to a conclusion that makes us smile as we see the difference a little support can bring. Your title and subtitle are a good hook, since I was looking at the sidebars for something to review today.

I might suggest using Size 4 Verdana to make it stand more prominently on the page. Also, three relevant genres are always a good idea to help people find it when browsing and also to provide more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. I would suggest “Relationship,” “Friendship,” and “Philosophy,” but there are others.

If you want you can enter this in a couple of contests: "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" Open in new Window. and "1st & 2nd Chance Poetry - TEMP. CLOSED" Open in new Window. They don’t require prompts and accept previously written items. Just add a line count to the bottom of the poem, and you’re good to go.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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458
Review of Hale and hearty  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

A brief and simple poem, bringing to mind the inner strength of the elderly and the assumptions others make about them.

I like how you used the subtitle to explain the "why" of the poem, though perhaps that could have been included in a dropnote. Subtitles usually give a hint to the theme of the item, though I know it would be hard to do with a poem of this length.

I found this using the Random Read and Review button. I like it.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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459
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I identify deeply with this poem about profound loneliness. Just this morning I was like “girl, do you realize you think enough for five people?” I try to think everyone else’s thoughts for them, forever wondering if I’m annoying people when I say something or ask them a favor, wondering why they’re not reacting to my posts or reviewing my items or taking longer than usual to respond to something. In real life, it’s even more complicated, as I assume everyone thinks I’m “weird” and whatever I do or say is strange or out of the ordinary. And when I approach the “big questions” about the meaning of life, it becomes quite overwhelming and mind boggling.

Your words are raw and sincere, and the rhyme flows well from beginning to end. I would suggest using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. The row of boxes at the top of the text entry space are the buttons which help us with formatting here. You can click on the question mark to open up a useful handbook. I would also suggest choosing three applicable genres for your item; this helps people find it when browsing, and also gives more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill award. You could select “Emotional,” “Relationship,” and “Drama…” there are others.

You could also submit this to my two favorite poetry contests around here: "1st & 2nd Chance Poetry - TEMP. CLOSED" Open in new Window. and "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" Open in new Window. These two don’t require a prompt and will take previously written items.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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460
460
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Well, I’m not quite sure how I stumbled across this item in your port…

Your declarations of what you’ll do as the ruler of the world are by turns amusing and satisfying. I chuckle at the indications of ego and pettiness, yet I have to admit that overall, your plans to improve the world’s conditions by hook or by crook are admirable and well intentioned. The proposals here, though exaggerated, contain many truths about life and the way we feel things should be instinctively. I love the emphasis on remaining married, the absolute refusal to accept lies and dishonesty, and the lofty goals to clean up the planet by reducing, reusing and recycling. And your honesty in admitting you have no clue how you would accomplish most of these things is good. We can work together on a plan…

You forgot to mention the giant corporations which control many aspects of society these days, including pollution and social media, communications and manufacturing. Monopolies would have to be broken up, bargains would have to be struck to assign funds to everyone according to their needs and allow them to choose jobs according to their talents. Life is a big mess, and if you ever did rule the world you’d have a huge task ahead of you.

I’m curious as to what prompted this lofty statement of just exactly 2000 words; was it a special contest? I see you have made no changes to it whatsoever since posting it, which is probably a personality issue with you rather than an assumption that it’s perfect as it is. I see a few minor typos, and I would definitely recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. But hey, at least you didn’t use Comic Sans, which defaults to the almost illegible proprietary Snell Roundhand on my iPad! Also, you need to use three relevant genres for the item so people can find it when browsing. I would recommend “Nonsense,” “Fantasy,” and “Political…”

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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461
461
for entry "Invalid Entry" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I’m here for I Write.

I enjoy reviewing your poetry because it’s usually quite simple and brief. This is no different. I love how you’ve employed the prompt pattern to create an elegant self referential poem which is slightly humorous yet encouraging. “Just as easy to plant a seed” reminds us how simple poetry creation can be, as we reflect on ideas close to our hearts and put our feelings down on paper in rhymes and meters and casual free flowing compositions.

The prompt is fully explained in a tidy dropnote, and I appreciate the inclusion of the equally elegant example poem from the writer who originally designed the poem form. I know not all items require Size 4 Verdana font, but I’ll say it anyway *Laugh* at the bottom of the prompt note you have the emoticons which were not included because the WML wasn’t copied. You could probably clear out that last part, as it’s understood. This was a light and fun read with an appealing structure and a full explanation.

How handy to have a book to toss little poems into; I debate often with myself about where to store the poetry I write (I haven’t written much lately because I’ve been so obsessed with preparing stories for my Musicology Anthology project…) Items are nice because we can assign three genres and gather reviews more easily. But books are quite convenient for shorter, simpler items which don’t need much attention.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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462
462
Review of Stage - 1  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Don’t give up. Your dreams can be achieved if you work hard enough and keep your head up. Don’t pay any attention to the haters or those who would try to hold you back and bring you down. They’re only wishing they could be where you are at this stage in your life. Negativity doesn’t reflect on you, but on the others. I’m proud of you for working towards being a lawyer. It’s a laudable career with lots of potential to do good in the world.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing and pursuing your goals *Smile* *HeartT*


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463
463
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

I love the bold centered text, the building up of unique metaphors to describe the night writing process, and the glimpses of how your novel is unfolding. The description of the noisy refrigerator had me laughing. The experience is relatable because I have spent many nights sitting up writing stories in the peace and solitude it affords, though I haven’t yet attempted a novel.

A line count would be nice, in case you would like to enter this into one of the promptless poetry contests around here ("1st & 2nd Chance Poetry - TEMP. CLOSED" Open in new Window. and "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" Open in new Window.) Also, it’s generally recommended to choose two more appropriate genres so you have all three filled out. I would recommend “Experience” and “Personal.”

This was an enjoyable item.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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464
464
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I found this using the Random Read and Review button, so I haven’t had a chance to look at your other episodes.

This feels like the groundwork for a real thriller. You have all the main ingredients for a standard item of fiction: goals, stakes, obstacles, and characters with the potential to grow and develop. The only problem I feel it has, is it’s written in summary form, running briefly over the events as though capturing a movie scene. I do see you’ve put efforts into the descriptions, using similes and setting the geographic area well. But we feel disconnected from what’s happening because we have a sort of “50,000 foot” view of it.

Perhaps what you should do is choose a character and “climb into their head,” describing the experience moment by moment as they see it and feel it. This isn’t as difficult as it might seem, and you don’t have to use the first person PoV to do it. It’s called “third person limited,” and allows us to live the story in a much more vivid and memorable way than if we feel as though we’re getting it from an impassioned observer. And as the main character experiences the events unfolding, we can see how the other character interacts with him in specific ways which show the bond between them, rather than simply telling us that their bond grew stronger after the escape from the altar site. This leads into another writing technique called “Show, Don’t Tell.” It’s always more interesting and creates a better connection with the story when we see emotional reactions, which I do see you’ve included. Fear is a pretty easy emotion to describe how it impacts us *Laugh*

I hope this advice has been helpful. This story has a lot of potential, and I think I’ll stop by your port and check your other episodes.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, sir,

This is an elegant and picturesque retelling of the old fairytale. I was expecting a story and found instead a careful blank verse poem, epic but at the same time perfectly natural and realistic, if such an enormous beanstalk were to grow.

If you know anything about me by now, you might be aware I’m a fan of *Think* *DragonHead* *DragonHeadB*, and I couldn’t help being reminded of this 10th Anniversary cover art  Open in new Window. of their debut album Night Visions with your description of the boy rising to the tops of the clouds. There is much metaphor to be appreciated in that thought and visual. (In fact, it applies to the original cover art as well, since there was initially a dense fog which cleared to reveal the true heights.)

We see the only giants Jack tackles are perhaps his own, as he probably wonders if he’ll ever get back down to home but continues upwards anyway. You’ve used excellent poetic vocabulary and even paused to add a subtle note on the big old word “cumulonimbus.” And the final thematic “moral” which wraps it up is something universal and relatable. Jack will have that view in his heart for the rest of his life (if he does get back down… *Laugh*)

We are reminded how sometimes, a passion is not to be pursued mostly for the fame and glory, but rather because one enjoys what they’re doing and feels they are creating something of lasting beauty and impact. I’m sure you didn’t set out to win four awards with this poem; you thought it would be something enjoyable and meaningful. Congratulations on the recognition this fine work has received.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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466
466
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

What a poignant and touching picture you’ve painted of a life that was not quite enough. We see the brink of tragedy hinted at many times, and the slippery slope of old age and feebleness comes all too soon. I don’t think this life was a happy one; we see the person dying basically alone, with no loved one by their side, no children, no one to help them when they fell. It’s heartbreaking to think the person couldn’t find another love after the first one left, or that they couldn’t at least have a child. One wonders what the underlying worldview was behind their life, and whether there was some way they could have had a more fulfilling experience, or if we’re all simply pushed along by fate to some end we didn’t necessarily choose.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and compatibility across devices.

This was powerful and haunting. We all face these “cliffs” in our lives, and we have to face them with some sort of optimism or else all is lost. Or is there any way to handle these fateful events to steer them to a happier conclusion? Such questions linger long after the story is read and moved aside.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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467
467
Review of Hanky Panky  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

Found this by using the Random Read and Review button.

Wasn’t sure what to expect, but the E rating reassured me and I got a good chuckle out of it. It’s nifty you were able to incorporate a zany historical feature into the story. I assume the prompt was the word “hanky panky”? I always like having the specific prompt at the bottom. Formatting is good. I can’t think of anything to change here. It was an amusing read.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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468
468
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

A fine, thoughtful poem, stuffed with philosophical musings on the madness of today’s world and the cultural battles we all face. I love your tidy way of writing poetry, with neat rhymes and steady meter. You are able to say serious things with a form that most people might consider trite and predictable.

The theme is that of rising above the madness with truth and facts, being able to lead by example and create order out of the chaos that ensues when truth is disregarded and emotions run high. In a world where feelings so often dictate the way things are done and how people interact amidst cultural issues and differences.

I enjoyed reading it and have no suggestions for improvement, as it’s open to interpretation and conveys a lot of meaning.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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469
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button…

Oh boy, this is great. You have the bones of an excellent story here, and you must have written it so quickly, all in one day. It could take me a week to assemble a backstory and a character like Sam in my head… although upon consideration, I already have a redhead Samantha in there who needs a story of her own *Laugh* I need some of that NaNo energy now; I’ve got fifteen short stories to write for Jeff’s Music Anthology project, due by July 1st.

I know this is just a rough narrative to use as notes, but it reads as well as anything I’ve read around here, with a couple minor typos for coming together fast. I love the way Samantha’s character is sketched out, and I love her as a character. It seems any novel involving her would be delightful. The way you’ve described her relationship with her mom and dad, and how she loves people watching in the beautiful places in Europe and filling notebooks with thoughts and descriptions… it’s all so relatable and makes for a delightful vignette of a very interesting lady.

May I ask how this project turned out? Did you complete the NaNo? I think I’d like to learn more.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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470
470
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings,

Thank you for requesting a review.

First I’ll get the pesky formatting details out of the way. On WdC it’s preferable to use Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and compatibility across devices. A word count at the top of each item is also nice, so we know what we’re getting into. Other than that, you’re pretty good.

It begins in a relatable everyday fashion, describing a young lady’s discontent at her dull job in realistic, down to earth terms. When it begins to get to the fantasy area with the magic spray, it feels rather comedic. I wondered if it would be a quick-witted Alice in Wonderland/ Through the Looking Glass kind of thing, with layers of humor and a subtle satirical theme. Or perhaps it was just totally goofy, since the primary genre is Comedy. But the Otter’s introducing the premise of the magic spray, and the idea of escaping to an illusory world where beautiful perfect scenarios can be seen but never quite experienced, is quite powerful and carries a lot of potential.

Your choice of an otter is adorable. I can envision this as being the beginning of a touching Disney movie, where the heroine learns how much better it is to make the best of real life rather than being drawn into a dream world. If I may go off on a tangent (which I often do in my reviews) it reminds me of the Frozen sequel and its aftermath, which many Frozen fans have objected to as the post sequel world has been developed over the years. It appears that Elsa, rather than living with her sister Anna in the real world of Arendelle, has chosen instead to live alone in a far distant northern ice land, with four elemental spirits and the ability to relive the past In vivid memories of her deceased parents. This new scenario, people say, negates the entire theme of the original Frozen movie, which was to embrace the differences that make one unique and use them for good in the world one is born into with one’s family.

Meaning that you have an extremely significant theme here that is worth developing: does the heroine venture further into this mirror world, does she become in a sense “addicted” to it, does she find a way to reconcile the pain of everyday existence with the potential of what could have been? Is there a time warp involved?

I really enjoyed this beginning, and I look forward to seeing more of it down the road.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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471
Review of The Rose  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

What a lovely flash fiction. I identify so much with that quiet, modest misfit lady. I won’t bore you with personal details, but it’s nice to see a character like that get a happy ending with someone who appreciates her. I don’t have anything to suggest about this perfect little vignette. (I guess vignette isn’t the right word; they use that to mean something without a beginning, middle and end, which this definitely has.)

You have such a knack for describing people and situations in vivid ways, whether it’s something lighthearted or darker. And you’ve used up just exactly 300 words, which makes it a “trabble” according to our Australian friend Steven. (Have you thought of trying his 100 word challenge? It’s incredibly fun and easy.)

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of persona  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Oh my, what a colorful and vivid poem. We see your suffering and the things people tell you as you navigate a difficult life, and your self image is conflicted, lost in the bullying and gaslighting.

You have captured these painful emotions in a few brief words that flow conversationally across the page.

The final words haunt us like the famous words of someone we can't quite remember. It's a striking metaphor that will last a long time in our memories. I love the scattered rhymes which add continuity and poeticism to what might almost be a prose paragraph.

I see nothing I would suggest to change or improve here. I'm easygoing with poetry, believing it to be a highly subjective art form where we can feel free to pour out our emotions in any way we like.

If you don't mind, it reminds me of my favorite musical artist, Dan Reynolds from Imagine Dragons. He struggles with mental health and criticism, and the way he responds feels similar to yours, in which case we're all on the same wavelength, which is cool.

Perhaps you could submit this to the First and Second Chance poetry contest, or the Shadows and Light free verse contest. They both take previously written entries and don't require a specific prompt.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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473
473
Review of The story goes on  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

Hey, this was amusing. I found it with the Random Read and Review button. I was able to quickly pick up on what was going on, partly because I love music and one of my favorite bands started by playing small local gigs like that.

The characterizations came through quite well, and I could see the friendship between the two people, as well as getting background on how they met and all that, even with being a dialogue only. It’s a well constructed story, with an ending that leaves us hanging in a funny way.

I don’t have anything to suggest except for using Size 4 Verdana font. Looks great otherwise.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Joey,

I liked this narrative, reading it as a carefully arranged prose poem. The thirty five lines ramble long across the page, sharing their story of a girl and her dragon in words that at first appeared not to rhyme, but on the second read through I spotted many rhymes. You’ve crafted it carefully, giving it a ballad feel with the steady repetition of the line “dragons there be” with appropriate variations as the story moves along. The theme of growing up and parting ways with the dragon, leaving it heartbroken and bereft, is one that’s been covered before (Puff, the Magic Dragon) but your creation is unique in the line length, vocabulary and size.

I approach poetry quite casually myself and so have no real suggestions for improvement in the way of word choices or meter. My favorite style is conversational, first person free verse… which often leads people to ask if I’m writing from personal experience *Laugh* it just comes out instinctively that way, I don’t know why.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Dr. Phool,

This is great poetry. It has an earthy clarity and candor as it describes the mundane happenings of a morning in the city. One might not think it’s very pretty or worthy of note, but the simple descriptions bring it to life and share the moment with photographic atmosphere. You’ve covered everything, including the little details that remind us this isn’t the United States, such as the tiny robotic street cleaners or the word “hoovered” instead of “vacuumed.” Did you write this as you observed the busy view from your window?

I remember when I was writing my Wind in the Willows fanfic as a little kid, I wanted to know if seagulls could be found across Great Britain. So I checked the land area of England and found it to be approximately the size of Florida. “So,” I reasoned, “if I can see seagulls pretty much anywhere in Florida (where I was born), I’d probably see them anywhere in England as well, not only by the beach.”

As I got older I discovered seagulls also live in Tennessee, where I grew up. What a surprise!

Your verses are quite tidy, leading us to look for rhyme or structure of some kind. I’m not the syllable counting type or I would try to see if you used a standard poetic form of some kind. I remember Robert Frost wrote Mending Wall with no rhyme but a steady meter that enabled me to memorize it at one point years ago.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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