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Review Requests: ON
1,258 Public Reviews Given
1,261 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
Least Favorite Item Types
AI Generated Content of Any Kind.
I will not review...
NSFW or AI generated content. Please do not send me anything that comes back from QuillBot AI detector as more than 25% AI generated. I will check and decline it.
Public Reviews
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526
526
Review of Storms  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings again,

I understand how the rhyming couplets can be seen as trite and limiting, and it’s probably good to diversify, but here with this particular poem they go perfectly with your theme.

The first thing I noticed, which is a relief on my iPad, is the Verdana font. Wdc’s Comic font comes across as thin and spidery on iOS, which is unfortunate because it does look very elegant.

Your theme is universally relatable, as I have experienced many strong storms in my lifetime and I’m sure we all have. The unnerving power of a thunderstorm becomes a metaphor of the other types of difficulties we face in life. As children, we don’t realize how much trouble there is in the world, and things which weigh heavy on an adult’s heart don’t impact us in the same way when we are younger.

One has to trust in God for protection against the storms; no matter what we’re going through, He’s always there with us, ready to show the wonders of His grace and might. Even when we know how dangerous and destructive the storms can be, we can still step back and admire them because we have faith in the One who controls the weather.

Thanks for sharing, take care and stay safe in the storms *HeartB* *Cross2*


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527
527
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and happy account anniversary!

What a fine and simple rambling. You have written in almost a stream of consciousness manner, without any clear theme, yet it all fits together well and flows smoothly from couplet to couplet.

The meter and thoughts have a song-like quality to them, as you promise love and goodwill to those close to you. I enjoy a good picturesque poem; this is something I might have written down and committed to memory at a younger age.

As a sidenote, I would recommend using size 4 font to ensure readability across devices. Other than that I have no suggestions for changes.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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528
528
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and happy account anniversary!

I enjoyed reading this poem. It describes the Scottish highlands in simple terms and draws us to consider the wars and great losses that have happen there centuries ago.

I was surprised to see the rhyming couplets here; you did a good job with the meter and flow. I did feel as though some of the word choices were too simplistic or forced or trite. But I’m no expert on poetic forms; if given the option I would probably go for free verse most of the time.

For this reason I don’t usually have much to offer to “correct” poems; as long as one has poured their heart into the creation, I don’t care a whole lot how it’s written. Poetry for me is a highly subjective art form.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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529
529
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and happy account anniversary!

A simple and childlike narrative poem, written with a light heart and good humor. We see the narrator taking care of their landlord's chickens and being nice about it.

I enjoyed the repetition of the line "I’m in charge of the chickens;" it gives it a song like quality. Your presentation is excellent, with centered bold text, and the cheerful words flow across the screen quite well.

I don't usually have much to criticize about poetry because I'm not an expert on metric forms. I can recognize a good one mostly by instinct.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Chicken*


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530
530
Review of The Darkest Storm  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings and happy account anniversary!

A grim and chilling tale of a ragtag family of vampires who meet their demise. Your writing flows well, bringing us clear descriptions and imagery that sets the scenes nicely.

I don’t have anything in particular to suggest; perhaps you might want to make a note of which contest you entered it into. I like the Verdana font, but I usually suggest using size 4 to ensure readability across devices.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartBl*


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531
531
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings,

A simple short story about an unhappy boy who feels like a failure when he thinks he hasn’t won the contest. I enjoyed reading it, but I do have some suggestions.

First, your writing style feels quite stilted and uncertain, as though you were perhaps an English language learner. You can use Grammarly, a free online writing assistant, to help you hone your skills in writing tone and grammar.

Second, this is a very brief story. It lacks any particular character development or conflict. I like to think of stories in terms of characters, goals, stakes and obstacles. Those are the ingredients that make us want to keep reading.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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532
532
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and happy account anniversary!

I really enjoyed this short story about a guy who wanders off the path both physically and metaphorically and is set right by an unexpected figure.

Your descriptions are clear and the writing flows well. The ending is nice; I figured the girl must be some kind of forest fairy or an angel. I like how carefully you pictured the two characters, especially the color of their skin and hair… most stories I’ve seen here tend to default to Caucasian people innocently enough. Good to find a bit of diversity.

I usually recommend using size 4 font to ensure readability across devices. And a word count at the beginning or in the subtitle would help us know what we’re getting into (though one could just as easily skim down the page to see how long it is.)

I also like to tell people to choose three relevant genres for their items; it helps them be nominated for a Quill Award, and it helps people find the items when they’re browsing. You could choose “Comedy,” “Career,” and “Fantasy” for this one.

Thanks for sharing, take care, and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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533
533
Review of Use as Directed  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and happy account anniversary!

An amusing little piece of flash fiction about a woman’s misuse of an experimental medication and the absurd consequences.

Your simple, straightforward narrative style was easy to read, unburdened by dialogue. I would suggest adding a word count in the subtitle so people know it’s a quick read, or perhaps you can gather your flash fiction into a separate folder.

You can also choose two more relevant genres for this item; “Medical” and “Comedy” would probably work. It might also be interesting to know what prompt you were working off of; I assume the words in bold at the end were the required words from Arakun’s Daily FF Challenge.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile*


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534
534
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings,

I couldn’t resist checking out one of your mystery stories.

This is a clever and amusing spin on the provided prompt. I appreciate how you made sure to gather up all the context surrounding the story’s creation, as well as providing a word count and even listing all the newsletters it’s been featured in (gee, I need to do that with my stories!)

My only question about the logic of the story would be, how did Todd manage to go all over town burying human bones and no one noticed until his dog dug them up? I would think people would notice when portions of their land had been disturbed. Also, I very much doubt that there would be any fingerprints left on the bullet found in the skull. And at some point Marty would have been reported missing.

Criticism aside, this was a quick and enjoyable read.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Skull*


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535
535
Review of Don't @ Me  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

What a fascinating and thoughtful barrage of interconnected words, discussing an issue that has only become even more important today than ever before. I never heard of this style of poetry. Congratulations on your Quill Award, it’s well deserved.

As a Gen Z woman, I grew up sheltered from the chaos of unfettered internet access in a homeschool environment. My first smartphone wasn’t until age 17, and it took a couple years before I joined anything resembling social media (Genius, where basically all we did was collate, annotate and editorialize on song lyrics.)

I spent a couple years or so obsessed with Twitter, but in 2021 I cut back on it, and nowadays WdC is my main online hangout. It’s by far my favorite, with none of the negative aspects which are so readily apparent on the other sites.


Happy account anniversary, take care and keep writing *Smile*


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536
536
Review of I lean  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings,

A thoughtful little poem considering loneliness and the long expanse of empty days without a loved one.

I don't have much to say about poetry generally, especially free verse. Since I don't follow many rules of poetry myself, I'm hardly qualified to criticize anyone else's work. I like how you set off the thoughts with dashes. The flow is good and it all makes sense.

I also like how you've gathered all the details surrounding its creation for future reference.

Congratulations on winning an award for this item. It's well worth it, bringing forth emotion with a few simple words.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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537
537
Review of Cool House  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

This was a brief and amusing read. I like flash fiction, especially when it states itself as such in the subtitle, because I know I can read it quickly and get it over with while giving myself a pop of daily fiction to enjoy.

The situation described here sounds almost autobiographical. The irony of imagining how cool the owners of that house must be and then finding out it belongs to someone like that in such an absurd manner… good grief *Laugh*

I would like to make my usual recommendations on formatting:

~ size 4 font is a good idea on WDC to ensure readability across devices
~ It’s always good to include a word count at the top or bottom of the item.
~ If you wrote it for Arakun’s Daily Flash Fiction contest, it would be nice to know what prompt was used, especially when you look back over your portfolio in the future.
~ It’s also good to use all three genres, and not just “contest entry,” because people use the genres to find stories they’ll like, and also it gives you more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. I would recommend “Relationship,” “Emotional,” or “Community.” It doesn’t have to be particularly relevant, just as long as you have all three.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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538
538
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I enjoyed reading this bright, upbeat play about high school students crafting a play. It was creative and fun, showing us the different characters interacting with a few simple adverbs. Usually everyone says “adverbs are off limits!” But they are necessary when writing a play script because one is unable to describe facial expressions and body language without asking too much from anyone who might have to act the parts *Laugh*

It’s been a long time since I read a play script. As far as I can tell, you’ve done great here, bringing us a tale that catches our fancy with colorful characters and humor, and ends well. You have the classic triad of “goals, stakes, and obstacles,” which, no matter how simple they might be, are necessary for creating a tale that flows and draws us in. It doesn’t have to be a “high stakes” story; it’s all in the telling and showing.

I don’t see any major typos here; perhaps you can underline and center the act headers to tidy it up. Also, I usually recommend using size 4 font to ensure good visibility across devices.

I’ll probably check out your other items soon; your port is small but interesting.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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539
539
Review of Final Prey  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to Writing.com!

I don't usually read something like this, but I kept seeing in in the "Read a Newbie" sidebar and figured the subtitle looked somewhat interesting.

A "slice of life" type of story, focusing on the demise of a fat slob who works in a dollar store. I wasn't sure at first if I should be sympathetic towards the creepy sounding employee or not, but by the end of the story I was guessing at the horrific crime he had committed, presumably against the young woman or someone close to her. That was clever to include a subtle foreshadowing of such in his dream; I wondered why it was that particular type of dream rather than a nightmare.

I do wonder what she means by reducing his status to a mere "thief" when she accuses him. Is she referring to the stealing of one's innocence?

You have woven the story well, describing and showing the grubby shop and the different characters with clarity and accuracy. It has good atmosphere.

I'm relieved that the seemingly senseless violence that appeared as I glanced over the item turned out to have some solid reason behind it in the end. This is a chilling horror/comeuppance story that many would find to be quite good in its genre.

I don't have too many suggestions to make; you have written well without any obvious typos. You could choose two other genres, such as "Drama" or "Horror" to make it easier to find and nominate for a Quill award.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartbl*


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540
540
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

Despite not being able to make the selections on my screens, I can still appreciate the basics of your word search. My lack of a real desktop computer isn't your fault *Laugh*

I like the choices of words; you've covered pretty much every romantic subgenre that I can think of. Are there romantic crime stories? Mystery Romances? Perhaps a husband/wife detective team? Hmm, now I'm giving myself ideas!

I have one suggestion to make the list appear tidier. You can capitalize the beginning letter of the second word in the two-word items, ie "RomanticSuspense." Since all the letters become capitalized in the search pool, that won't give away your hiding places, while making the list easier to process.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*
541
541
Review of i am a lazy man  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings,
Welcome to writing.com!

Amazing, the power of a single sentence to spark the imagination and make us consider our own lives and conduct. “Sad, lazy and bored” sounds unnervingly like me *Laugh*

I like the form of this; three sentences all in lowercase, as though we are peeking inside the mind of an unhappy man. Poetic license allows for what might be considered poor formatting.

Of course, it lacks detail. We wonder who the man is, what the story is behind his ennui. Perhaps this could be built into a brief paragraph, a vignette of sorts. I would suggest using more specific words to create more concrete images, such as saying “I stare out the window for hours, forgetting what I was thinking about, lacking motivation or energy to accomplish what I have set out for myself” rather than simply the three words “sad, lazy and bored.” Show us how the man is sad, lazy and bored and what exactly that means, rather than simply telling us that that’s how he’s feeling.

I would suggest adding two more genres, to make it easier to find and to nominate for a Quill. Perhaps “Emotional” and “Drama” would do.

All criticism aside, this is a haunting three sentences that linger in the mind.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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542
542
for entry "The Secret Passageway" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings,

I enjoyed reading this flash fiction entry. It created a mystery, tension and resolution, with simple and relatable characters, all in under 300 words. The grandfather’s puzzling actions are explained by the discovery of a secret passage and a musical band. I love that the father and son get to sit and enjoy the show when they find out. I also like the choice of genres and lack of darkness or unnerving twists. It’s good for kids, and that’s ok.

I would be afraid the grandfather wasn’t getting enough sleep, or damaging his voice by singing in a rather untrained fashion. But I looked again and I see it only happens once a week and the gramps isn’t always the host.

I like how you’ve arranged all the little details of what contest you entered and the prompt and word count and everything. It’s always nice to look back on these things and see what the process of creation was inspired by.

Perhaps the quick bits of dialogue between the unknown men would be better set off in separate lines. The dropnote at the bottom is a tidy way to gather the extra information. I don’t see anything to correct or modify.

Thanks for sharing, take care, happy new year and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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543
543
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

This was an enjoyable and amusing spin on the old fairytale. I liked how pathetic the wolf was, and his reasons for gobbling up the other two pigs are well thought and understandable. The female wolves were hilarious; it’s nice to know that such tough ladies were good friends with that kindly little girl piggy.

I chuckled at the end when the wolf and the girl pig decide to be friends; one can only wonder what happened when she found out he’d eaten her brothers. I would be suspicious of a taxidermist pig who had acquired a wolf’s head, myself, however *Laugh*

I don’t see any typos or anything to fix or modify in the story. Perhaps a word count at the beginning or in the subtitle would be helpful. It might also be good for the older people on the site if you used a larger font… but I’m so tired of saying that, it’s beside the point *Rolling*

Thanks for sharing, take care, happy new year and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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544
544
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I’m glad I saw this. It is very important that we all understand the dangers of online scammers, especially these days when finances are tight.

I would like to offer some helpful tips about avoiding scams for us all from the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, or FDIC:

~ Do not open email from people you don’t know. If you are unsure whether an email you received is legitimate, try contacting the sender directly via other means. Do not click on any links in an email unless you are sure it is safe.

~ Be careful with links and new website addresses. Malicious website addresses may appear almost identical to legitimate sites. Scammers often use a slight variation in spelling or logo to lure you. Malicious links can also come from friends whose email has unknowingly been compromised, so be careful.

~ Secure your personal information. Before providing any personal information, such as your date of birth, Social Security number, account numbers, and passwords, be sure the website is secure.

~ Stay informed on the latest cyber threats. Keep yourself up to date on current scams. The Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA) can provide you with Alerts.

~ Use Strong Passwords. Strong passwords are critical to online security. Review CISA guidance on Choosing and Protecting Passwords.

~ Keep your software up to date and maintain preventative software programs. Keep all of your software applications up to date on your computers and mobile devices. Install software that provides antivirus, firewall, and email filter services.

~ Update the operating systems on your electronic devices. Make sure your operating systems (OSs) and applications are up to date on all of your electronic devices. Older and unpatched versions of OSs and software are the target of many hacks.

Also remember that legitimate companies will never threaten to have you arrested or put pressure on you to send them gift cards. Gift cards are never a legitimate way to pay bills.

Thank you for sharing this warning with us. I am very sorry that you have lost so much money over this. Take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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545
545
Review of The Lighthouse  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to Writing.com!

A beautiful and touching autobiographical story here. Thank you very much for sharing this with us. At least, I’m assuming it’s a true story. I don’t know if your poor formatting and grammar errors are due to an unfamiliarity with the English language; I would hope a college educated architect would be able to write better *Confused*

But never fear, I’m not criticizing your sincerity and hard work at all*Hug1**Smile**Hug2* There is nothing in this item that the use of the free online writing assistant Grammarly couldn’t correct (though I would ask, was it 7 years or 2 years since you had last seen your sister?)

I love the symbolism of the lighthouse and its connection to love and forgiveness. You have painted a simple, memorable and heartfelt image of family.

I would recommend adding two more suitable genres to your item and also a word count in the subtitle. The word count helps people know whether they have time to read the entire item in one sitting.
The additional genres help us find your item when browsing through the categories of different stories. I would suggest “Experience,” “Family” or “Drama.”

Take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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546
546
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well well, hello old pal,

I noticed this on the sidebar and thought it might make a fun read. Turns out I’ve already seen it and didn’t bother reviewing it *Laugh*

A cute and mouthwatering poem, carefully counted out to make an inverse pyramid of syllables. The task of resisting the temptation of jelly donuts is one I can sympathize with, as can anyone I suppose. Yet I don’t have to worry much about my own waistline… people tell me I’m too thin, even though I eat like a horse *Donut* *HorseHead*

Looks like you’ve used the largest possible font size, which makes it fun to read like a board book. As usual I recommend adding two relevant genres, such as “Food/cooking” and “Experience.” Also, it would be helpful to know which contest you entered it in.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* I look forward to continuing our friendship in 2024.


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547
547
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I enjoyed reading this little Bible study of yours; it was enlightening. I have often wondered about the origins of the book of Esther myself, as it has always struck me as the odd one out in the Old Testament. There is no mention of the Hebrew religion at all, and one would debate why it is included in the Bible. The Essene scribes who wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls did not have copies of Esther in their cavern libraries. This would make perfect sense if the book of Esther was actually written by the Gentiles.

Thank you for sharing, take care, happy new year, and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb* *Pray*


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548
548
Review of Rest In Peace  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings,

Good grief, I thought Roald Dahl was zany! This is a zany little story, alright. Exaggerated and amusing, it tells of the escapades of a man and his self-exhumed grandma.

It switches formats in a somewhat experimental way, from the first person description of what happened from the grandson's POV to a couple paragraphs of brief summary. But that carries it along quicker than it might have otherwise.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile*


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549
549
Review of The Library Lady  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings,

A charming story about orphans and libraries and a shared love of books. I enjoyed the warm and simple narrative style, though I felt as though it "told" more than "showed." Everyone tells us to "show" around here, but it isn't always necessary.

I love how you mentioned the Trixie Belden series at the end. Those were a hallmark of my own childhood, and I had fun reading them. As I grew older I realized I didn't like some of them as much anymore because they victimized the heroine too much, but I did learn a lot from the series about using dialogue among characters to bring stories to life.

Thanks for sharing, take care, happy new year and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb* *Quill* *Reading*


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550
550
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings,

I greatly appreciate this defense of staring. It’s well written and clearly explains your reasons for doing something which may seem quite rude to others.

I know how it feels both to be stared at and to be the one staring. I often find myself lost in various strange thoughts, and sometimes I accidentally fix my gaze on people while I’m thinking about something else entirely. Other times I’m looking at someone’s vehicle, studying the make and model, and it seems like I’m looking at the driver or the people inside. And I cut such a skinny and mysterious figure (dressed in dark colors and nonbinary clothes most of the time) that people often stare at me and even ask if I’m ok *Laugh*

And then there are the times I smile or laugh to myself and happen to catch a man’s eyes and they think I’m grinning at them… *Pthb*

As usual when I review items here, I would recommend using a larger font size such as 3.5 or 4; it makes the items more engaging and easier to read.

It’s also a good idea to include a word count in your subtitle, so people can see that it’s a brief article that can be read quickly.

And I usually remind authors to add a suitable third genre to their writing. A category such as "Experience," "Personal," or "Philosophy" would be fine here.

Thanks for sharing, take care, happy new year and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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