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Review Requests: ON
950 Public Reviews Given
952 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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501
501
Review of Randomly Writing  
for entry "Week 3" 
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I find it really hard to criticize poetry. This is lovely. You've brought in some serious contemplation of life's brevity in just a few words based on a picture.
Perhaps a mention of the lighthouse standing through the changes would be a nice touch, but it's fine like this.

Congrats on getting it out here, keep up the good work *HeartB*

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502
502
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for the helpful advice, sir. I observe your current username is in the passive voice *Laugh*

I usually go instinctively with things like that - I don't think I've ever sat down with a writing and asked myself whether I've used passive or active voice.

It's nice that you've included a link at the bottom to a reputable site for further research.

Keep writing *Smile*

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503
503
Review of Snow Dragon  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, I found this with the random read and review button.

It's a charming weather poem, describing cold, snowy, windy wetness with the metaphor of a dragon to convey a sense of mythos and brevity.

I like the portmanteau word you've created and appreciate the authors note at the end, as well as the creative line breaks. The free verse flows well and is carefully arranged.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile**Heartb*

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504
504
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I chuckled at your wry musings on extraterrestrial beings.

Only one typo right at the beginning: "friends and family questioning rational, or even sanity" doesn't make grammatical sense. Consider "questioning one's rationality..."

It's clear and well written, with logical flow from one idea to another, and a progression from basic concepts to more far out theories.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing*Smile*

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505
505
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Thanks for the advice! I think I've got a bit of a Mary Sue (almost literally*Laugh*) chilling at the bottom of my port...

You did a great job with the example at the beginning, it draws us in with a chuckle. I would assume, if I were reading it as a story, that Vanessa's flaw is that she's spoiled, too perfect and has an awful ego. (Maybe she's even terrified of spiders) But her appearance is definitely a little too much like a barbie or mannequin.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing!

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506
506
Review of Silent Witness  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, I'm here for your WDC anniversary *Smile* congratulations on being in this lovely community for so many years!

This is a beautiful and striking piece, personifying the mirror which sees the multifaceted life of a young lady. I almost shed a tear myself at the end. You have captured the sad poignancy of the scenario with charming, simple language.

I also appreciate how you incorporated subtle hints of the story being set in an Asian country.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartB*

New Anniversary Review image.
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507
507
Review of The Victor Chip  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi,

I react quite emotionally to things, so these are just my thoughts and feelings about your work. Feel free to ignore this if you don't find it useful *Laugh*

First, it should probably be rated 18+ for the graphic description of what happened to Christopher.

Second, it was kind of hard to follow the narrator's transformation into a bot, because I wondered how the information was being recorded and stored. Wouldn't the bot destroy any records of what it had done? I guess if it was certain that everything it did was for the good, then it wouldn't care.

Third, there's no dialogue at all, which if the narrator is a bot it kinda makes sense, but it makes it rather eerie to read. And the guy Marsden, is that the same guy as Christopher?

I guess the casual passing way the narrator mentions specific people, and the distinct lack of actual interaction, builds up the impersonal feeling and contributes to the horror of it all.

In conclusion, you've written a compelling and alarming piece which conveys what it wants to in a cold and distant fashion.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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508
508
Review of Pin Bear  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for sharing this with us. It's amazing that you've been able to visit so many different places and have something small and tangible to remember them by.

Perhaps the words "except Alaska" should be in parentheses. I take it to mean you have visited Canada and Mexico, and they aren't states*BigSmile*

When I was growing up I had a Raggedy Andy doll that became a "pin bear" of sorts for me; it began with a US Marine Corps pin I picked up at the Chamber of Commerce, and as the years went by I would add others, mostly of the patriotic or playful sort.

Have a lovely week and keep writing*HeartB**Quill*

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509
509
Review of The solution  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings *Smile*

I greatly enjoyed reading this. The witty dialogue, sharply drawn characters and unexpected plot made me laugh out loud several times.

I also appreciate how socially aware it is and how it deals with events that could really happen in a realistic way. You included the legal details and everything. It's also fun to read something set in modern times; I don't often get around to reading current literature.

I think Becky's character is amazing and develops issues and people that don't get discussed much in literature. I'd love to read more about her someday.

Sometimes the dialogue got a little confusing, and I wasn't exactly sure who was talking or what was happening, but I read rather fast and I don't think that's an issue on your part.

Overall it's a fun, rollicking tale and I think you did a great job with it.

Congratulations on your contest entry and best of luck!

Take care and keep writing *HeartB*

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510
510
Review of The Final Journal  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, I saw your forum post and thought this looked cool.

You did a great job with the characters and perspectives and overall storytelling. Eli's suspicion of his roommate is an amusing way to set up the backstory. I liked the happy ending of finding the old man alive and well on his island, and you've made a great yarn inspired by the image.

A couple minor thoughts: the dialogue paragraphs could be tidied up some, spaced off and ensured that the tags aren't preceded by a full stop.
The question of "what happened when you called granny?" needs a question mark at the end.

Again, an excellent tale and I enjoyed reading it.

Thanks for sharing with us and keep writing *Smile**Heart*

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511
511
Review of My Lament  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings*Smile*

This is perfectly worded, I am reminded of the great psalms and hymns of old. You have expressed your fears and your trust in the Lord despite everything. It would be pretty to write out by hand and frame.

Thanks for sharing. Keep writing and keep the faith *Pray**HeartB* and I hope you have a lovely day *InLove2*

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512
512
Review of A Falling Star  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, and happy birthday again *Smile*

This is a haunting poem considering a painful relationship which lacks the necessary trust. I was close to tears as I came to the end. You have chosen your words well. Two minor typos:

• "No entertained the thought" the word should be "nor"
• "Oh ,foolish" the comma is spaced incorrectly.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Quill**HeartB*

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513
513
Review of I'm Sorry  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I just saw your sister's post, so I'm here to spread some love *HeartB**Smile*

This is a beautiful poem about learning to apologize for our mistakes in order to heal our relationships and bring spiritual blessings. I like the rhyme and meter, and the vocabulary and theme are accessable enough for kids.

There should be an apostrophe in the word "Love's" because it's a contraction. Other than this I see no typos or anything which could be improved.

Thanks for sharing this thoughtful poem with us, it's greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoy your time here with us, and happy birthday!*Cake3* *Party*

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514
514
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I finally got around to reading your submission for the 48 hour challenge*Laugh* This is really pretty. I appreciate the artistic, lyrical quality of your poetry, and the theme is simple and sweet like a greeting card. It would make a lovely thing to write out by hand and frame.

Thanks for sharing *Smile* keep writing *Quill**HeartB*

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515
515
Review of Randomly Writing  
for entry "Summer Haze" 
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself, this is good poetry*BigSmile**HeartB*

It conveys the inaccurate feelings of low self-esteem one may have, using a striking metaphor that sticks in our minds. Especially considering the summer smoke in NYC and all that.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing, you're doing great!

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516
516
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was so funny*Laugh* I'm not a Harry Potter person at all, but it didn't take any special knowledge to understand this, and my unfamiliarity with it probably made it that much funnier.

The characters are colorful and well drawn, and your scenes are detailed. I really enjoyed this fan fiction piece, especially the ironic twist at the end - from bad to worse*Rolling*

Thanks for sharing, congratulations on winning, and keep writing!*Smile*

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517
517
Review of Burger and Fries  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing this touching story with us. I like how you added the lovely quotes at the end and decorated it with emoticons. We all need to remember to "spread kindness like confetti" and care about those less fortunate.

I think when you wrote "chance encounters" you may have intended it in the singular.

Take care and keep writing*Quill* *HeartT*

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518
518
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is hilarious*Laugh* You succeeded in making a poem that makes a good amount of sense out of those 26 prompt words, A to Z. It doesn't rhyme, but the carefully structured lines are easy to read and it flows well.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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519
519
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Cool stuff here. Thanks for sharing this helpful template; I doubt I'll ever decide to run a contest, but if I do I'll keep this in mind. That's if I can wade through the Writing ML*Rolling* I need to get into coding. I'm behind the times*Laugh*

Keep up the good work... And don't forget to check in on your Review Spot requests *Smile*

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520
520
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is cute and thoughtful. I like the idea of a cat and mouse growing old together and learning to play with each other. I can see them curled up by the fireplace after an evening of fun - perhaps shocking the cat's owners *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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521
521
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Whoa. That was unexpected. Just when I was beginning to agree with and sympathize with the poor lonely conservative accountant, he goes and murders his ex. Wow.

You've skillfully crawled inside the mind of someone who appears calm, logical and civilized, and revealed the inner depravity lurking beneath the surface. He must be a real psychopath, because he was able to convince us he's in the right, right up until the last sickening moments.

Thanks for sharing. This was quite unsettling, in a good way I suppose. I see you filled in all three genres, which is always recommended, and gave it a suitable rating. Keep writing!

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522
522
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Whoa. That's telling. Who's really the toxic one here? You've painted a sharp picture in flash fiction from the first person POV, which I think is unusual.

I know I would have a hard time putting up with a guy who's always complaining about my friends. It wasn't a jealousy situation, he just couldn't stand this woman and basically presented his fiance with a choice: cut one of us out of your life. I feel pretty sure she chose the right person to cut out *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartT**Quill*

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523
523
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi again! You're doing great. I see some kind of exciting twist brewing in the future. Maybe Marco is related to Tory?... By the way, you named him "Tory" for the first three chapters and now he's "Troy." Probably autocorrect.

You've done a good job of giving us the main character's lonely and haunted backstory and forming the personalities of the other figures.

As usual, I can't wait for the next installment.

Take care and enjoy your writing process*Quill* I'm glad you're here*Smile*

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524
524
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I liked this a lot; nowadays with the Coronavirus on everyone's mind I assumed you were basing it on that, but I see this was published in 2014.

It sums up the basic Christian position pretty well, although I think I take issue with the statement that Jesus didn't know he was not of this world. I thought he said to his followers "my kingdom is not of this world."

Thanks for sharing. Keep the faith and keep writing *Smile**Pray**Heartb*

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525
525
Review of Ladybug Beach  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is so cute*Smile* *Ladybug* I'm proud of you for writing a poem this great at such a young age. You got the rhyme and meter down pat, and the narrative flows nicely and makes perfect sense.

Thanks so much for following in your parents footsteps and joining in the fun on WDC*BigSmile* Remember, keep on writing *Quill*

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