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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/23
Review Requests: ON
950 Public Reviews Given
952 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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551
551
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful and feminine personification of a tree. I tripped up a little bit at the end because I never heard the term Ent before, but it's fairly obvious through the context.

Thanks for sharing this elegantly crafted poem with us, I enjoyed reading it.
Keep sharing your work *Smile*

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552
552
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, I found this using the random review button. These are just my thoughts and feelings about your piece.

First, your writing style is excellent. The narrative and descriptions are engaging and realistic despite the peculiar subject matter, and you approach it with a sense of humor. I chuckled at the musing about the wedding dress, and I was impatient to see what happened next in the fantastical tale.

You missed a word towards the beginning, “searched for object of my desire” needs a definite article “the.”

As I finished it, my first realization was how is it written in the first person if the narrator presumably died “chained to the rhythm?” He would have no chance to write about his experience. Also, what precious memory did the shop owner take from him as payment? Was it the knowledge that the music box had this bewitching power? Also, music boxes don’t sing with angelic voices; they usually have a very simple tinkly piano sound.

Thanks for sharing this fascinating piece with us, I had fun reading it.
Take care and keep on writing *Smile*

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553
553
Review of Cosmic Serenade  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aww, this is sweet. I really like the almost humorous number of elegantly elaborate words included... One may need a dictionary to understand what you mean by "pulchritudinous" or "crepuscular" or "aphelion."

The sentiment is loving and lyrical and well stated. Your verses flow smoothly in almost a Shakespearean fashion.

Thanks for composing this charming serenade and sharing it with us. Keep on writing!

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554
554
Review of Doggone!  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
An amusing rhyming yarn about a dog who didn't fetch. I appreciated the lightly traced description of autumn lake and a duck, especially considering hunting dogs are supposed to fetch the ducks and bring them in. A dog who doesn't understand this crucial concept is hardly worth his salt. But I hope Max found himself an owner more suited to his peculiarities. And I hope the narrator found himself a dog who knows how to fetch *Laugh*

Thanks for writing this. Keep up the good work!

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555
555
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good work here! You've crafted a beautiful picture of God's love for us and your willingness to share that with others, using the metaphor of growth and gardens.

Thanks so much for writing this. Keep the faith and keep sharing your words!

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556
556
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A classic, well written personal account of Christmas memories with one's special friends. I liked the descriptions and settings, and the grammar, spelling and flow is excellent.

Thank you so much for sharing these treasured recollections with us.

Keep up the good work *Smile*

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557
557
Review of Persevere  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Perfectly written introduction to what feels like it will be a fascinating story. I appreciate the brevity and simplicity of the writing, the sympathetic tone, the hope for a normal life despite being so painfully different from everyone else. It's poignant and touching and makes us root for Lidia and wish her well.

Thanks for writing this. Perhaps a sequel would be fun!

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558
558
Review of Java  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I see you have a coffee problem *Rolling* Perhaps a membership with Coffee Anonymous would help. Enjoyed the rollicking rhymes and nonsensical exaggeration. Good use of vocabulary and flow. No typos. In all an excellent creation.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing!
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559
559
Review of Overnight Snack  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Phew! That was cute. The dialogue between cat and mouse was amusing, and the action built up quickly and completed fast. I laughed at the realization of the wafer getting stuck in the mousehole - how many times do we see "barking dog things" doing that as well?

One minor grammar error, "my other ear needs to be covered."

Congratulations on winning the contest, it's well worth it!
Keep writing and sharing *Smile*

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560
560
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A simple and poignant reminder of what marriage and a lifetime relationship are all about. The words are carefully chosen and arranged well. It's quotable enough to write out and frame for a wedding/anniversary gift.

Thank you for sharing and keep writing.


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561
561
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Simple and brief, we see a satisfied husband and devoted wife at dinner time. The gentle surprise at the end of the wife being Korean and preparing Asian food is a pleasant extra touch which shows us love can take many forms.

Your poetic flow is easy to read, with the occasional rhyme. I enjoyed this little snapshot of family life.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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562
562
Review of HAPPINESS  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi again, Naomi. This is a test review to try out my potential membership in the WdC Angel Army. And now I've had to reprint it with my affiliation *Blush* *Smile*

I'm a fan of your work and this is no exception. You speak words of peace and wisdom, reminding us of the important things in life and of the power of simple good deeds to bring us peace of mind and happiness.

Thank you for sharing with us. Keep up the good work and take care *HeartB*

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563
563
Review of Thank You Notes  
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is adorable! What a great idea for our community. Thanks so much for designing these.
564
564
Review of HAPPINESS  
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi again, Naomi. This is a test review to try out my potential membership in the WdC Angel Army.
I'm a fan of your work and this is no exception. You speak words of peace and wisdom, reminding us of the important things in life and of the power of simple good deeds to bring us peace of mind and happiness.

Thank you for sharing with us. Keep up the good work and take care *Smile*

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565
565
Review of Empty Spaces  
Review by
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing this truth with us. We all need to know and share this message with anyone we know who is struggling. Keep up the good work. Sending vibes of love and positivity for you and your loved ones *Smile* *Hug* *HeartB* *Pray* I'm glad I met you here today.


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566
566
Review of Celestial Signs  
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Elegant little poem with a graceful vocabulary and gentle message for those who mourn in the night: you are not alone. Thank you for sharing this with us. I look forward to exploring your portfolio. Take care and keep on writing, we need you here*Smile* *HeartB*


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567
567
Review by
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there! This is a lot for me to get into, but I'm so excited to be here in this amazing community. I can't wait to join up with you and do good here in whatever way I can. Someone gifted me an upgraded membership just a few days after I joined, and everyone has been so kind and generous and helpful, and I want to pass on as much kindness as I can.

Thanks so much!
568
568
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for sharing this, it's charming and descriptive of your life experience with different windows and different views. That's a good way to consider one's life, by the kind of views one has had over the years. Your English is excellent and I love the little bits of detail of your home country, like the bungalow, coconut trees, the village name and the scented evening plant (I'll have to look that up:)
Greatly appreciated, keep on writing *Smile*


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569
569
Review of Likeness  
Review by
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A simple, poignant picture is painted here of a small, bony lady unhappy with her body image. Age is not mentioned, leaving one to wonder if the speaker is a gangly teenager or a tired older lady. Though brief, the image is haunting as we consider the deeper story behind this person's perception of herself.
Thank you for sharing and keep writing.


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570
570
Review of Freedom  
Review by
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I apologize for my initial review; I generally avoid 18+ content and was not expecting this from the "random read and review" button. But since I've read it I'll do my best. It's only my opinions, and I react quite emotionally to things, so don't take me too seriously*HeartT*

I'll get the negative out of the way first. I feel the story is built on a weak premise; the idea of appeasing a sex offender with a child (which is supposedly not even his own) wouldn't work if the story was based in reality rather than fantasy. As it is, the creature's adoption of its kindred spirit could be a touching moment but seems illogical given the other details. It also sets up a lack of closure because of the potential for a continuation of the cycle of violence against women; rather than killing off the evil, it is only reproduced. And a minor stylistic note: the uppercase "He" is often used by religious people to indicate God and may be perceived as offensive. You can italicize instead for that dread filled emphasis.

But now the positives*Smile* You selected a simple one word title and made sure to fill in all three genre categories, although "contest entry" is somewhat of a nonentity here and not recommended. (Death would be a suitable third genre in this case.) The story builds up chaotic horror elements rapidly and keeps the reader engaged to the end whether they like it or not *Wink* I liked the well intentioned character of Jordan and thought it a little humorous that he remains oblivious to the signs of a monstrous being. The ending is a relief and suggests a peaceful future relationship of the two heroes. You have good descriptive abilities and dealt with a grimy subject in as decent a way as can be expected.

Thank you for sharing your work with the community. Keep writing and keep sharing!


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571
571
Review by
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Ok, I'll do my best. I'm a newbie here and I react quite emotionally to things, so don't take me too seriously.

First, I was brought to tears by the sheer heart-wrenching-ness of it all. Thank you for sharing this true story with us. I felt your writing was a little ambiguous at the climax... Did Kicky die literally at the hands of the guard, or was the guard simply a horrid person who caused the death of another by refusing to show kindness? And Kicky couldn't have been the only one who ever smiled...?

Your descriptions are visceral and well thought, bringing home the pain, starvation and suffering of the little ones, and your own aching heart, with anguished clarity. Any slight typos or grammar issues didn't detract from the story at all.

Thanks again for bringing us this raw and real historical bio piece. Keep writing and sharing!


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572
572
Review of Freedom  
Review by
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Ugh... I'm sorry. I thought we weren't supposed to write about non-consensual... Never mind. I used the "random read and review" button to find this. Should've known better.
You nailed the horror alright. But the ending doesn't feel like enough, because the vampire is still at large and now the wickedness is only reproduced. I expected a battle, to clear our heads and provide closure. But perhaps adopting the baby will stop the vampire from attacking women? But you couldn't say that about real life sex offenders. And please don't capitalize "he" - it's an insult to spiritual people. Italicize, bold, anything but uppercase. Also, if Damien is really Jordan's baby, how did it turn into a...?? And why didn't the other victims become...?? Idk... I'm afraid the story is built on a very weak premise and is too much for shock value rather than anything deeper. Assuming you could have fleshed it out as you wished (it was probably a contest entry, though) the greater themes of redemption and family could have been developed in a more wholesome and satisfying way, rather than such a brief and grimy tale.

Something that really gives me the creeps about my finding this story randomly, is that I have a story I'm developing about a pale villain with black hair named Damien Blackstone. The story in my portfolio (Virus) is only one brief boiling down of a multitude of possibilities I'm considering. But someone here just told me privately that my story is a soulless horror and will attract "goths and ghouls." I'm beginning to think he was right!


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573
573
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aww, that's a cute and creative story. I love kids stories and appreciate a good one. Your characters are colorful, endearing and amusing, and the tropes of "bungling law enforcement" and "sensible lady (raccoon)" were set up without too much embarrassment. Sheriff Sam has good intentions, and he's only a rabbit after all. Just one small note, the word for climbing is "clamber" not "clamor." Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work!


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574
574
Review of GRATEFUL HEART  
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing this creative and beautiful poem with us. We all need to remember this every day; gratitude is so important. It makes life easier and helps us feel more content and find peace. Keep writing and have a wonderful day *Butterfly2B* *Smile*


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575
575
Review by
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Aside from the references to alcohol, this was adorable. I found the script font a little hard to read, even on a big screen. It makes me laugh and wonder if it’s a true story - if it isn’t it probably is *Laugh* Thanks for sharing your sense of humor with us. I loved the use of a pug dog, too.


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