Hi, Aunty Nelly
I found this on "Please Review" 
It is sad piece. You did pretty well with the emotions, considering it is a personal write.
The setting scenes are clear, I can see them well.
The father is seen too. You did well with his descriptions.
Some things I noticed.
One sad day, Natale was rushed into hospital with severe breathing problems, but even then, he couldn’t be persuaded to sit still, and set about helping the other patients in whatever way he could. In fact, he didn't consider his own serious reason for being there.
This shows very well his natural unselfishness. Good job with that! The problem I get is the image of someone unable to breath moving around like this. Even if they wanted to, it would be impossible. I'm not doubting it happened, but maybe the severity became worse after helping others, or after he'd been there half-an-hour, or?
Annie couldn’t bear to see all those tubes poking out from his now thin body.
This word breaks the flow of the line. It could be cut safely.
It broke her heart to see him with an oxygen mask on his face, to help with his breathing.
This 'tells' the readers the obvious. It can be cut to avoid wordiness.
that it was much too soon for him to be taken, and prayed at the same time, that he wouldn’t be taken away from
Take another look at this sentence and see if it can be trimmed. It is pretty wordy. There is repetition too that can be avoided with trimming. If the bolded words were cut, it would still say the same thing, but smoother.
where there was hope for his survival, he was now reduced to this state through negligence.This might be explained. Whose negligence? The doctors?
she knew he had understood how she felt. Annie had always been his favourite, but strangely in his last days, he had asked for Robert
Do you see where you use some words quite a bit? When they are used so often that they become noticeable to the readers, they become wordy and bumpy. Try to cut or change a few. The first could be cut out; the third could be changed to 'he'd', and presto! There is only one! 
“Your father is dying. I thought you’d be prepared.” Annie felt so angry; she wanted to punch the nurse for her insensitivity.
Oh wow! I want to punch her too! This sentence brings strong emotion into the piece. Simple and straight to the point. Good job!
She was devastated, that her mum and brother arrived
They were both very sad, that they didn’t get
I usually don't advise on puntuation, because I use it wrong too, but both of these need to come out. You don't want pauses here. They cause bumps.
This is a slow, gentle read of sorrow. It has a light dose of emotion, like it was hard to write and you held back. I think you did a grand job with it.
The tone was consistent with the content. It is a pleasant; though sad piece, to read. If you let me know, I will be glad to read it again. You know my rate is flexible. Don't feel you have to use all my suggestions to get a higher rate. Use the ones you agree with, and change it to suit yourself.
The reasons for the rate is explained.
Good job!
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