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Review Requests: OFF
3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
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451
451
Review of Angel of Death  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Hiram who is visited by the Angel of Death. After his pain and suffering he greets this angel like an old friend but it turns out the angel got it wrong...

I liked the twist in this piece, usually people fear death and try to hide from it but in this piece, we see someone welcoming it with open arms. It's sad at the same time.

*People*Characters: Hiram is the main character in this piece. We know how much he has suffered and I did feel for him.

*Home*Setting: I'm not sure where this took place but I don't think it's important to the plot.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece made me sad for the man who has suffered and it was highly ironic.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
452
452
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

This tells the story of Pat who thinks her friends have forgotten her birthday. It almost breaks up the Chickdees until she is reminded of her mistake! Oops. At least she takes it well and it brings a smile to her face *Smile*

I really loved reading this piece, it was fun and light hearted and it came through so clear how much you love your friends!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestion to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
453
453
Review of Night Terrors!  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

I always think 55 word challenges are difficult so I like both reading and writing them! I really enjoyed reading this piece. I think it captures the terror of a child at night really well, it's so atmospheric *Smile* Thanks for sharing this!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
454
454
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

I love writing vignettes and feel that I'm full of them sometimes (WdC helped me realise what they actually were). I really liked this one, I think it's a brilliant description of the man within. It captures his essence and his personality brilliantly and really makes me want to know him too!

Thank you for sharing this with us!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
455
455
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review of this piece for A Contest of Firsts!


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey Megan, thanks for taking the time to write this piece and enter my contest, it's much appreciated *Smile* This is a really wonderful story that tells the reader about your first memorable Christmas and you tell us exactly why. Perhaps this Christmas kindled your love for dolls? You seemed like such a sweet child and I love how innocent you were about missing Santa!

Thanks for sharing this with us *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*An older girl, Debbie who was fourteen who was a friend of mine bought over her make up kit she had got for Christmas.
*BulletG*An older girl, Debbie who was fourteen who was a friend of mine brought over her make up kit she had got for Christmas.



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
456
456
Review of Madeline  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review of this piece for A Contest of Firsts!


*Checkg*What I liked:

Aw Elena, this is such a sad story! The first part of it really hooked me in. I love that your mum made up clues and had you search the house. I think that part is really exciting and intriguing, especially for kids. I can imagine that would have been a blast. And then the part where you found the kitten and named her was brilliant, you really showed me how happy you guys were *Smile*

However, the story took a turn for the worst and poor Madeline passed away in 2003. This part really moved me and I felt my eyes sting, I'm sorry that you had to go through this and lose the cat who was your Christmas miracle.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*“Let them be surprised.

This just needs quotation marks at the end.

*BulletG*“Let them be surprised."


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
457
457
Review of Silent Witness  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in "Invalid Item" 


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey when I spotted this piece I knew I wanted to read it. The title was intriguing then when I found it was told through the perspective of a mirror, I couldn't resist. I think it's a really interesting piece, all the more so because we see the girl grow from being a baby to the seventeen year old woman she is. The mirror sees her for what she is, nothing is hidden and there is no judgement *Smile* It's a very perceptive and warm mirror, I like it! But honestly, this is a well thought out piece!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
458
458
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Jenna's wedding, the day that is supposed to be the happiest of her life, but she is in fact surrounded by a swarm of bridesmaids she hardly knows, a feeling of isolation deep within. She knows she's not doing the right thing for her and when her ex, Kevin, stops by and asks her to change her mind, she considers this before telling him to leave. The ending was a little bit of a surprise for me. I thought that she'd leave with Kevin, forfeiting the big wedding she didn't want anyway for the love of her life, but then we find out why she couldn't.

I like that the ending of this piece was unpredictable because yes, although you are supposed to marry for love and your wedding day is supposed to be your happiest, there's nothing more genuine than a mother's love.

*People*Characters: Jenna is the main character in this piece and we watch the struggle in her mind throughout as she marries Jim, though she knows he is not the love of her life. I have to say she is a truly inspirational woman and at the end, when I realised what she'd done, I was happy knowing that she would love the child as much as, or even more than, any mother would.

*Home*Setting: This takes place at Jenna's wedding day on a snowy Winter's day.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece was full of passion and sadness.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*Where was this 3 years ago?”

Usually anything numerical 100 and below should be written out in full:

*BulletG*Where was this three years ago?”

*BulletB*and though she tried not to she lent into his touch.

For me, I'm not sure about the word 'lent'. I think it should be 'leaned'.

*BulletB*and though she tried not to she leaned into his touch.

*BulletR*Dropping the jacket in the snow she turned her back on him escaping back to the cacophony that had driven her unknowingly into his arms.

Here you use the word 'back' twice. I would maybe try something else to avoid repetition:

*BulletR*Dropping the jacket in the snow she turned her back on him, escaping to the cacophony that had driven her unknowingly into his arms.

*BulletV*Kevin’s words echoed in her mind “None of this is you!”

I think this could use a comma:

*BulletV*Kevin’s words echoed in her mind, “None of this is you!”

*Bullet*He would never of understood that she was bearing Jim's baby.

I think here the word 'of' should be changed to 'have'. I think that while it's fine when talking it's a little informal when written down:

*Bullet*He would never have understood that she was bearing Jim's baby.





Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
459
459
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

Okay, when I was looking for something in your port and stumbled across this piece, I couldn't help but open it! Lol. I have to say it was a highly amusing read and something that I could imagine would happen with fair frequency on a submarine full of men! I like the way you tell it too and I can imagine just how it went down *Smile*

Thanks for sharing!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
460
460
Review of Sherri's Web page  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey Sherri, I thought I'd come check out your website and I found it a delightful treat! The whole thing is so prettily made up *Smile* The background of flashing stars in amazing and really sets the tone of the whole thing, as well as the fairies dotted here and there *Smile* I like the way that you introduce yourself, what matters to you and parts of your personal life before going on to list some of your published works and where they're available.

I think everybody's website is different for them but you've done a great job with this and I hope I can build my web designing skills to this level!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
461
461
Review of Megan's Ballroom  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey Megan *Smile* I spotted this forum in your port and decided to check it out. I have to say I've not seen it before but I think it's a great idea. An open forum where people can drop by and share whatever they want from their rant of the day to a new item they'd like some reviews on *Smile* Great idea!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
462
462
Review of Julian's Secret  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: When I saw this and it was likened to Alice in Wonderland, I couldn't resist. It's one of my favourites! I really like this one too. It tells the story of a young boy, Julian, who can't resist the curiosity he feels when discovering a small door in the base of a tree, what twelve year old boy could? So he goe sto investigate and plunges into the world of Ecila who takes him to meet the Queen who is very angry indeed...

I didn't see that ending coming either! I thought it was real. So you caught me with that one, well done *Smile*

*People*Characters: Julian is the main character in this piece. He's a curious young boy who wants nothing more than to find out what the door in the base of the tree is. I love him for his bravery and the courage he shows in facing the queen.

I have to say, I love that his little sister is called Dinah (nice touch) and it was also a nice touch to have Alice's name in there, even if it was spelled backwards (which I didn't twig onto!)

*Home*Setting: This takes place in wonderland and it's just as cool and crazy as I remember it!

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Fun and adventure!




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
463
463
Review of All Hallows Eve  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This story tells of a young woman who comes back to visit her parents on All Hallows Eve despite the fact that she passed away several years ago, her spirit can't seem to rest.

For me, while this piece was interesting, I felt like the narrative held me at a distance. I wasn't able to get to know the characters well and rather than being there and understanding the scene, I saw it as if I was looking in the window.

*People*Characters: As I mentioned above, I felt a little detached from this piece and I think perhaps the characters had a lot to do with that. You tend to refer to each of the characters as 'the old man' or the 'young woman' which doesn't sit well with me. It left me wondering who each of them were and getting confused in places. I think giving them all names earlier in this piece would help.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in the family home, a formal place for dinner.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece was a little creepy but mostly sad, knowing that the daughter cannot stop visiting.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*The young woman run to them,

I think this should be 'ran'

*BulletG*The young woman ran to them,

*BulletB*The middle aged man kissed her cheek and reached to huge his father.
*BulletB*The middle aged man kissed her cheek and reached to hug his father.




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
464
464
Review of TEENAGE MOTHER  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in {item::1830792}

*Pencil*Storyline: This short story is a little sad piece about a young mother who can't deal with her new baby and the social services turn up.

I think you've done well with the word limit but it does leave some questions for me, like who called the social services and why.

*People*Characters: The young mother and her mother are the main characters in this piece. It seems the teenage mother is struggling to adapt to her new life as a mother and is feeling pressure from her own mother. I did wonder about the relationship between the two.

*Home*Setting: I think this piece is set in the mother's house.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece made me feel really sad for the young woman. I can imagine it would be a difficult life to live.


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*The baby cried. Mommy looks down at her baby, confused.

In this line we switch between past and present tense. I would try to stick to one or the other. I would write:

*BulletG*The baby cried. Mommy looked down at her baby, confused.





Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
465
465
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in the "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey MEgan, when I spotted this piece I couldn't resist stopping by! I think it's a really neat idea and lets people come together to share their favourite hobbies and share and swap ideas. I really love that *Smile* The description you give at the beginning of the forum tells us what hobbies you have and what you love collecting and I have to say you have such an extensive love of different things and different activities! I love it *Smile* Thanks for sharing this with us!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
466
466
Review of Nightmare Circus  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in the "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Sammy, a young boy who is visited by the Nightmare Circus one night as it pitches the tent on an empty field outside of his home. He is compelled but scared but after being persuaded by an odd looking clown he allows himself to be led inside. Things go from bad to worse as he is eventually recruited and has to face the same torment he had to watch before...

*People*Characters: Sam is the main character in this piece. He's a young boy, possibly about twelve, who is lured by the circus. He goes despite the fear he feels which shows he's either brave or silly! Hehe. He's a well rounded character and the way you write made me root for him.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in the Nightmare Circus. You set the scene well *Smile*

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece was really tense throughout, it kept me hooked!




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
467
467
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in the "Invalid Item" !
}

*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't often read poetry but when I spotted this piece I couldn't help but open it and take a peek and I'm really glad I did *Smile* This is a really sweet piece of poetry that shares the light of your life with the community. This is about the emotions you had when she was born and when she grew. There is a strong sense of love and protection in this and it comes across clearly.


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
468
468
Review of Motherhood  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This was a really well written piece that gives the reader a brief glimpse into the life of a parent. I think you did a fantastic job of showing here and really take the reader through that. I'm not a parent so I can't comment on that side of things but I can understand how exhausting it must be.

*People*Characters: I think you've captured the personality of the mother here so well. We see how exhausted she is yet, despite everything, we can also see how much love she has for her children. I guess I wanted to know why she was crying. I guessed it was exhaustion but it could have been a number of other things too.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in her home late at night.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: I think this is a really emotional piece and you seemed to catch it so well *Smile*



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
469
469
Review of S.I.S.C.O.  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Sisco, I'm here with my second review *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really neat folder and a place to keep the novels that you're working on. You've set the page out well and it's clear and concise. I have to say I've heard other members and yourself refer to Sisco before in a context of it having been a program perhaps? I've never heard of this... care to enlighten me?

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
470
470
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Winter Wonderland Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I spotted this piece and thought that because the date was looming nearer it was a very apt poll and one I wanted to take part in. I was really surprised to find I'm the first person to vote! Maybe it's a new item though *Smile*

I do have to say however, that I'm not sure your choices cover every base. You have a lot about different natural disasters but only one that says 'It's not going to happen'. While in principle I think this is fine the way you've worded that option didn't sit right with me. I don't necessarily think it's baloney but I do have a different belief system. Maybe it would be more appropriate to ask how you're going to change/not change your life on that day. Just a thought *Smile* Thanks for sharing this!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
471
471
Review of A Bit About Me  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Winter Wonderland Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Okay I decided to stop by something a little more positive for my last review of the mini port raid! I chose this piece because I always enjoy finding out more about other members of the community *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really nice piece that gives the readers a chance to dip into your life and find out what sort of person you are, what your passions are and, and you mention here, your life mottos. I think this piece gives a good sense of your personality and I want to thank you for sharing it *Smile*

Also I want to say a big congratulations for being published, I know you wrote this a while ago now but I still feel like it's worth saying!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
472
472
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: I couldn't resist this piece when I spotted this. I love zombie apocalypse stories! I have to say, this was well worth the read. The narrative voice of this piece is really strong and the personality of the character comes across well throughout (though I have to admit I thought it was a woman at first, but I'm not sure why). The piece is written as a journal and the reader finds out this is the fourth in the series as Devin travels and keeps on the move to avoid the walkers.

I'd be really interested to see his other journal entries, if you wrote them!

*People*Characters: Devin is the main character. Through his journal we find out about his experiences, himself and his thoughts/emotions. It works well and as I mentioned it lets his own voice come through strongly.

*Home*Setting: In this journal he is sitting in mausoleum writing.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece has a good narrative voice that really hooked me and while it wasn't full of fear, there was certainly tension and uncertainly hanging in there.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
473
473
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This is the start to a book you're writing about Alisza who is a girl who visits your protagonist in her dreams. It's a really interesting concept and I think you manage to bring it to fruition well.

*People*Characters: So far we have our protagonist (do we find out her name?) and Alisza who turns out to be her grand daughter from four generations in the future. We don't know a lot about the characters yet but I assume they will be developed more in later chapters.

*Home*Setting: I think this takes place in the current world *Smile*




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
474
474
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a really realistic piece an plays on issues of racism. It was a good read and reflects the innocence of a young man who, possibly by others, would be tarred with assumptions.

*People*Characters: The middle aged woman in this piece is the main character. She makes eye contact with the young boy and feels they have an affinity which I really loved. She sees past all differences and recognises him for the youth he is.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece takes place on a train and you set the scene well, I can picture it.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
475
475
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a really neat little story about a fish named Rasputin who has nine lives. It's a nice twist on the cats lives and was a really fun read that made me smile!

*People*Characters: Luke is one of the main character in this piece. He is the little boy who saved the fish and couldn't leave him alone, and he wants to take him everywhere. It's kinda cute! Rasputin also plays a huge part in this. He's one lucky fish.

*Home*Setting: This is to take place at Aunt Elaine's place but Rasputin enjoys some adventures on the way!




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*His dropped his eyes
*BulletG*He dropped his eyes

*BulletB*Luke twisted around in his seat to wave at him mom
*BulletB*Luke twisted around in his seat to wave at his mom



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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