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3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
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551
551
Review of Halloween  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is an Angel Army Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm Jo and I'm here to offer you a review on behalf of the Angel Army as you are one of this month's spotlight authors! I want to be honest and say I don't read poetry very often to please bear with me!!

*Checkg*What I liked:

Like I mentioned I don't read a lot of poetry and I sure don't know what a chronos form is, but I think this is a well written piece. I think it has a nice and apt theme, particularly for this time of year (which is what made me want to read it!) The form seems quite simple yet effective and I think you use brilliant description in this piece.

I think the only suggestion I would have is to take the italics off this piece, it's a personal thing but I find it hard to read things that are bold and italic.


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Angel Army:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
552
552
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey!

This is an Angel Army Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey, my name is Jo and I'm here to offer you a review of this piece as you are one of October's spotlighted authors with the Angel Army! I have to tell you (first things first) that I love your name! So original and rhyming too, it has a cool ring to it. I chose this piece because of the title and description, it certainly sounds very intriguing.

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of a team of people who are hoping to find Inner Earth and investigate. It's a really original idea and a good read. I think the pace quickened towards the end and for me that made it a little fast and meant that some things I expected were missing. I didn't understand what was going on and I think there could have been a little more description to help the reader out.

*People*Characters: Though we spend a lot of time with the main character I feel he is more of a narrator than anything and I didn't begin to understand him as a person, why he was doing it, what his daily job is.

*Home*Setting: This seems quite futuristic to me. I think I would have liked to see more about Inner Earth and what it was like.



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG* An over 5000 year old legend
A legend over 5000 years old

For me that opening sentence felt a little awkward. I would suggest something like the above.

*BulletB*three enormous fast moving flying objects that were described as walnut shaped object,
three enormous fast moving flying objects that were described as walnut shaped objects,

*BulletR* “Inner Earth used to be my home, but I was exiled.
“Inner Earth used to be my home, but I was exiled."




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Angel Army:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
553
553
Review of Both Sun And Moon  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is an Angel Army Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here with a review on behalf of the Angel Army! You're a spotlighted author this month which is why I'm stopping by. I notice you're quite new to the site as well so I'd like to welcome you, I hope you're finding your way around okay! All I'd like to say is that I don't often read poetry so please bear with me!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I think this is a really interesting piece which delves into the inner workings and emotions of the individual concerned. I think that although it appears to be a dark piece, it is actually someone doing some soul searching and being content with their own self. At least, that's what I get from it (boy I hope I haven't offended you!)

The poem itself works well with the lines flowing nicely and the rhymes feeling natural. I think I would suggest taking the italics off this. It's a personal thing but I find it quite hard to read something that's in bold and italics. I would also suggest adding a little bit of something to the description about the poem as I notice you use the same description for several of your pieces.


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*Than fall beneath the deep to drown
Then fall beneath the deep to drown

I'm not sure if this should be 'then' but ignore me if it's not!






Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Angel Army:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
554
554
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Mandarine, I wanted to stop by with a review in return for the one you did for me! I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling great though, I hope you get better soon!

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Elijah Lye, a magician who works his way up the ranks and gains the respect of local people. His shows sell out and he is famous, until he becomes infamous when his assistant dies on stage. He completes his last and final trick by escaping from jail!

I like the way this is told, it clearly resembles a myth, something that is passed around by word of mouth and believed and unbelieved and changed.

*People*Characters: Elijah Lye remains to be a mysterious character throughout this piece. I think this suits him nicely, he is after all, a magician. I think the only question I had was about his motives for killing his partner Haiiti.

*Home*Setting: Much of this piece takes place in the jail cell but it is set well with enough description to allow the reader to see the scene.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
555
555
Review of Leaving the Dead  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Lisa, I wanted to come and return the review you did for me *Smile*

*Checkg*What I liked:

A very interesting piece that gives the reader a sense of her personality as well as her background. We visit her past with her, nostalgic memories of holidays with parents and times she could make believe. Now trapped in the same place, I feel her terror as she creeps away from the flesh eating monster that she used to love, and falls into the lake once more. Only this time she is no longer Poseidon's daughter, she is lost and leaving the dead.


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
556
556
Review of Electicity  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Elena! Her with a review of this piece as you requested. More than happy to help!

*Pencil*Storyline: Oooh the ability to control lightning, very interesting! I like the idea. We see Kelly and Freida argue over money needed to decorate the school and then, when not getting her own way, Kelly controls the lightning.

I think that while this is a good and original idea, I felt like I wanted more background to it. What school was it? Why were they hosting a Halloween party? Why did Freida agree to money for costumes and not decorations? Perhaps a little more background, the weeks leading up to the party, would be good here.

*People*Characters: I feel we begin to get a good sense of the characters here, particularly Kelly. It appears she can control the electricity and will use it when she's not getting her own way. This strikes me as someone throwing a tantrum when she isn't getting her own way. It makes me wonder if she's used this before or if she will again. Perhaps if you add background giving the reader a little hint as to what sort of person Kelly is would be a good idea.

*Home*Setting: The setting is contemporary and in a school. What school and where?

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Definately a chilling idea. Perhaps a little more description would add to the horror. How does Freida feel when she looks at Kelly? Is she terrified? How does her body react?




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*"Not right now," her boss Freida brushed by Kelly
"Not right now." Her boss Freida brushed by Kelly

*BulletB*"Freida, please-"Kelly tried again.
"Freida, please-" Kelly tried again.

*BulletR*"serves you right, bitch."
"Serves you right, bitch."






Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
557
557
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook:

Hey Kiya, I've just recently purchased a premium membership and toying with the idea of creating a web page.


*Checkg*What I liked:

I have to say, I'm so glad I came across this piece. My idea was to take a glance at other web pages to get an idea but this piece is brilliant! You've offered a huge host of information I'd never even considered. I have no idea how to create a website but your piece has begun to point me in the right direction.

All I need now is to decide what it will be about!

hehe *Smile*



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
558
558
Review of Iridescent Wing  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't read poetry very often so please bear with me!

This is definitely a really interesting poem and I love that you've included that little bit of folklore at the bottom there, you learn something new everyday! I found the style of the poem to be a little dark as it foretold bad luck but I think you did it well and I found it reminiscent of Poe's work.

The poem itself flowed really well with each stanza fitting nicely together and the rhymes feeling natural. Well done!



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
559
559
Review of Puppy Thoughts  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't read poetry very often so please bear with me!

This is a really upbeat and happy poem which is really great to see. I enjoyed the read and enjoyed particularly seeing it from the point of view of a puppy, that was a really nice treat. I think you've captured the emotions and thoughts of the puppy so well (at least, that's what they would sound like I think!).

The poem itself has a rhyming couplet scheme and while it worked well, a few of the lines felt a little forced to me. You might want to go back and give it a read. I also think for a poem such as this it could benefit from having extra punctuation brought in. Just a thought!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
560
560
Review of Suburbia  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I think this piece is really good and provides a lot of vivid description which helps the reader to picture the scene, understand it through the eyes of the narrator. However, to make a story a piece has to have a begining, middle and end with a conflict and resolution in there too. This was more of a scene setting, a vignette. Still, keep it up!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
561
561
Review of Ava  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This piece is set in a post apocalyptic world where Ava sees the first dog she has ever seen before. She explores the world while her parents remain behind and always takes her companion, Kadie, with her.

I think I found the ending to stop at a point where I wanted more. I wanted to know if Ava was okay, if Kadie saved her, as it alluded to in the description. Perhaps you could consider extending it. I think the order of the story also confused me a little, it seemed to jump from a place where she was with her parents and Kadie to a place with her friends. I thought they had left all of her friends behind. Perhaps if you are alluding to the past you could begin with something like, : she remembered when...


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!






Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
562
562
Review of Care Giving Dog  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really sweet and sad piece, all at the same time. I really love the subject of this story, a care dog providing love and support to young children who need it the most. Definitely an original subject. I I think you write this well although the beginning of the piece felt just a little abstract to me. Perhaps it was because as a reader, I didn't know who the narrator was. That's just at hought!

*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*“She’d been brave, fighting for herself. I wish I was like her.”
“She’s been brave, fighting for herself. I wish I was like her.”




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
563
563
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This tells the story of two women, Laura and Jenny, whose lives come together in a very tragic way. I didn't see it coming at all! I have to say though, because of the way it was written it felt a little disjointed to me. When you swapped between perspectives I thought you could have used *** to make it clear there was a switch.

Despite this, your description was good and detailed and you had the beginning of good character development.

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
564
564
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I have to say, I really loved this piece. It was witty and hooked me completely. I love the style you have written this in, ironic and morbid. The two brothers obviously do not get on and have always been competition for each other, even in death one brother swears to out do another. I love how morbid and dark this piece is!

You had really good, witty dialogue too that fitted well with the characters.

*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*It was a cold sprightly morning
It was a cold, sprightly morning





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
565
565
Review of Bloodthirsty  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey I don't read poetry very often but I found this to be a really dark piece. The form of he poem adds to the obscurity of it. To me it felt like the thoughts of someone tumbling out, unable to stop, as the knife and blood beckons. I think my take on it was that the person self harms, something that provided a release.

The short and choppy sentences worked well for me!

*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*Are what my body craves,
That's what my body craves,


I think this works a little better but remember, I'm no expert!

Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
566
566
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm stopping by with a review of this piece on behalf of the Newbies short story & poem contest!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is an interesting piece that tells of a battle with the horsemen. Can I just say, you have a knack for detailed description and action scenes and I could see the battle as it raged, felt the emotions of the men as they huddles together hoping for life.

I found that while we started in the middle of the action (which is a good thing) I was unable to figure out why the battle was taking place. It may have been reference to a particular time but perhaps you could have set the scene just a little more to help the reader understand the context.

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
567
567
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is an Angel Army Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey again Zelda, this one caught my eyes too. It's really simple yet effective. I think I must like the simples things! The colours work well and add a little sparkle and the colours silver and the grey background compliment each other well.


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Angel Army:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
568
568
Review of Wedding congrats  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is an Angel Army Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!



*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey Zelda, I wanted to stop by with a review! I really like this picture. It's so nice and simple but very elegant at the same time. The picture fits so well and the colours are really nice too!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Angel Army:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
569
569
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Ann, you offered me a review a while ago and I'm here to return the favour. I can only apologise it's taken me a while to get here! I chose this piece because the nature of the story interests me!

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a story of two friends, Paul and Sam, discussing their identities of themselves and in relation to each other. I think you've tackled a subject that can be quite tricky, but you've done it well.

*People*Characters: Paul comes across as someone who is happy with who he is. He is a cross dresser and only wants acceptance, or to feel normal, as he explains it. I really love that his best friend Sam is still sticking with him. I think often for some people, revealing such a 'secret' as this can be disastrous for relationships (as Paul's father who disowned him).

*Home*Setting: I'm not sure where this is set though I'm guessing it's pretty comtemporary.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*whatever that is.
whatever that is."

The end of the speech just needs a closing quotation mark.

*BulletB*"I don't know, Paul, what to say to cheer you up.
"I don't know what to say to cheer you up, Paul.

This is just a suggestion but I think this word order works a little better.





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
570
570
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Joy, I wanted to stop by and offer you a review in return for the one you did for me. I'm just sorry it took so long. I decided to read this piece because it suggested an autumnal theme and it's just what I'm in the mood for in this chilly September!

*Pencil*Storyline: What a sweet little story seeped in Autumn. A broken family spent time apart, only to be brought back together in the chilly season.

*People*Characters: Frannie is a really sweet woman. She seems to be wise and compassionate, caring about others despite their flaws. I like that . Amber is a young girl who has made some mistakes, just as everybody does, but is mature enough to admit it.

*Home*Setting: I'm not sure where this piece is set but you set the tone so well I don't think it matters.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Autumnal. I can picture it now!




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
571
571
Review of A Gift of Love  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Jeannie *Smile* I wanted to stop by with a review in return for the one you did for me. I'm just sorry it took so long.

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a really sweet story! The neighbours all club together and help out Emil and Martha at what could have been a very difficult night.

As I said, this piece is really sweet and made me go 'aw!' hehe. I love the neighbourly spirit and the love felt between Emil and Martha.

*People*Characters: Emil seems like a really nice, genuine guy. He's worried about his wife and getting her to the hospital, yet he will not burden her with the knowledge.

*Home*Setting: I'm not sure where this piece is set and I'm guessing it's a little older (by that I mean set in the recent past) because of the tone of the piece.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Sweet and Christmassy!




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*He feed the pigs,
He fed the pigs,

*BulletB*“I see you;re all packed and ready to go.”
“I see you're all packed and ready to go.”

*BulletR*hoping the baby will be healthy and that Martha was going to be alright.
hoping the baby would be healthy and that Martha was going to be alright.

I think this should be 'would' because it's written in past tense.



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

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572
572
Review of My first kiss  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Elena, I'm here with a little review of your piece for the Contest of Firsts!

*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really sweet tale about your first kiss. You take the reader through the weeks leading up to the homecoming dance, the anticipation! You tell it well and help the reader understand your emotions and your memory. Your first kiss felt tingly for me too!

*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*who's locker was near Dustin's
whose locker was near Dustin's



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
573
573
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Megan, I'm here with a little review *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really great piece which shows your love of Jane Austen! I too absolutely love Pride and Prejudice *Smile* I think you've described it so well here and makes the reader want to read or love it as much as you do which is great! I think I am a little like you because I often wish I lived in the past too, imagine how different life would have been!

I love how you bring this into the present with Lost in Austen. It's not something I've heard of before and I'd certainly be interested to watch it!






Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
574
574
Review of The Refuge  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Jace! I'm here with a review from the Tea Garden as part of the review package eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon gifted as part of your auction package! (haha I seriously hope that made sense!)

*Pencil*Storyline: This was a really well written piece. It told the story of our prtagonist (do we find out her name?) who moves with her family to a new place and meets Ricky, a boy with whom she will spend all of her time, a boy who will be there unconditionally. The way you tell the abuse in this piece works well, it's there but not graphic and I think that worked well for me.

*People*Characters: I don't recall seeing the protagonist's name in this piece (and I'm sorry if it's there and I've missing it) but it might be worth including that somewhere, just for an additional character developement piece. However, she seems like a strong woman. She tries to stand up for something that is not right and deals with it by running away, being with Ricky. I really felt for this young woman.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is somewhere near the Mississippi. I don't know where exactly but I think that's okay as you set the tone well.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece is really sad, the trials she has to go through, losing her companion, her soul mate. But it also has a bit of an uplifting ending, knowing she is not alone anymore.



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*Only, ... Ricky knew.
Only ... Ricky knew.

I don't think you need a comma here.




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
575
575
Review of Evermore  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey, I'm back with your third review as part of the package you won! As you can see I've stayed with the dark theme and this piece, with the title reminiscing Poe, I couldn't resist!

*Pencil*Storyline: The beginnings of this piece took me a while to grasp. I think it was to do with the tone of the journal entry, but once I had, I was immersed in the story. This tells of our protagonist (do we find out his name?) who is thrust into a mission of exploration; something he has been searching for his whole life. And when he finally finds it, he realises that it is not all as it seems...


I really like the twist at the end! I didn't see that coming!


*People*Characters: Just as I mentioned before I would perhaps mention the protagonists name (or if you have I apologise for missing it!). When I was reading the journal entry I immediately got the impression he was an older gentleman so well done for beginning to characterise him from the very beginning. I sensed his excitement as he explored and finally found what he has been searching for.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece changes but you set it all well so the reader can see and sense the place they are exploring.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This is an intense tale that kept me hooked, but it was also quite ironic. He finally found what he had spent his life looking for but I know as a reader, that he's going to come to regret it over and over.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
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