A caring rendition of a babes thoughts to his/her mom.
There is within this Etheree a sense of content, aplomb.
Trust is here too at such an early age.
In a form, structure, and flow that leads the reader by the hand, to a conclusion that truly marks the bond that is forged between a mother and child.
Thank you for sharing in the exploration of poetry and write on!
Copenator out!
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Single Cinquain to describe caffeinated bliss in the morning.
Form solid and flowing well. The humor within is sporting.
There is a glimpse of the writer here, a small window into her morning bliss.
Thanks for sharing your week 2 rendition of poetic explorations and write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
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A good rhyming scheme naturally paced.
The stanzas are full of emotion and grace.
The reader is caught up in the meeting,
And the different lives one is reading.
Here a grade school friend is seen at last,
From years later and you show us a part of your past.
Flowing like a river, languid and bereft of grammatical road blocks.
This piece is good and no suggestions for improvement come to mind.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
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A Sad Love Poem it truly is.
Your chance you did miss.
The final "I Love You" unsaid,
Now reverberates in the head.
Your form, structure, and flow are assets in the reading of this piece.
The prevailing emotion is that of regret and second is reminiscence.
Evidence that your imagery carries the reader through to the end.
The absence of grammatical snafu's also lends to the readability.
One suggestion for improvement is visible however.
Analysis of your stanza's reveal the use of "past" and "present" tense words in the same thought. This is easily remedied by going with either past or present tense in the whole of your poem. The question is do you want to reflect on the past events, or do you want the reader to focus on the present feeling of loss you are experiencing?
A sample stanza is presented for your consideration.
When I’m sad, "When I was sad,"
You were always there to comfort me ,
Holding me through your arms, "Holding me in your arms,"
Giving me all the love that I needed.
The suggestions in quotation now puts this stanza in the past tense and improves the flow.
First Impression: A philosophical piece, or so the title and description suggests.
Second Impression: The title does indeed ring true, it is a very philosophical piece.
Third Impression: The form is not familiar to this writer and appears to confuse the flow with the thoughts that are laid down. The structure appears consistent and that gives the reader something to cling to along the way. The prosaic nature of this fits the content of this piece.
Fourth Impression: The overall feeling in this piece is confusion and seeking a way out of the cloud. Imagery that also helps the reader grasp the intent of your piece.
Final Impression: While this is different in nature you bring it all together in the end and the reader is left with the hope that the character does find the way.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
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What a dilemma and what a world we live in.
To find someone in a social site, after time has moved on.
The turmoil, the consideration, the thoughts evoked, all good imagery bringing the story to life.
Form is doable and lends to the reading ease of this piece.
Thanks for writing, using your gift, and sharing with the WdC.
You piece is grammatically clear of snafu's and no suggestions for improvement are necessary.
Write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
"Invalid Item"
Yellow you're amazing.
This is poetry in motion.
Your photo is inspiring,
Your words open the heart to experience the emotion you pour through your piece.
No grammatical snafu's results in no suggestions for improvement necessary.
You were featured in the latest issue of the Spiritual Newsletter and this writer is grateful to have read through and found this gem.
Write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
"Invalid Item"
You were featured in the latest issue of Spiritual Newsletter.
The form is excellent
The story progresses.
The prevailing emotion, "embarrassment."
The planning set in motion,
At a pace that is manageable.
Grammatically snafu free makes this readable.
In the end the single word sums it all up.
No suggestions for improvement can be made and thanks for sharing your entry with us.
Write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
"Invalid Item"
What an honor to read such a tribute.
I'm so blown away and awed to boot.
Within this piece is a mothers love,
Fit to a tee and enveloping like a glove.
Form, structure, and rhyme scheme all pristine.
Emotion boiling over with tears that create a sheen.
At a pace that makes one decide to go slowly,
Savoring the lines as with love they do glow.
Simply positive is this piece,
Every stanza, contains peace.
With grammatical snafu's nowhere,
Suggestions for improvement we do spare.
You were featured in the latest issue of Spiritual Newsletter and what a gem they preserved in this piece.
Write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1659763 by Not Available.
Mission accomplished your wish is achieved.
Within this piece is a piece of art in words.
Flow is super slick and complimented by the consistent form.
Pace slip slides along unfettered by grammatical snafu's.
Your strengths in this piece are imagery and conviction.
You know what you want, you lay it out, and you get it.
Good writing and good use of the list poem.
Write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
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Your list poem is full of life that was oh so hard.
There are so many who try to dispel these happenings.
Eye witness, one year depicted shard by shard.
Evidence etched into the hearts, and minds, time overlapping.
A flow that is emotion filled and strong.
A pace that is not interrupted by grammatical matters.
A form that is new to this reader but made relevant here.
Suggestions for improvement are unnecessary, for here is life.
Write on!
Copenator out!
Leader of Copenator's Crew
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Sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your remembrances of your time with your beloved.
You are featured in the Simply Positive Newbies Review group and welcome to the WdC from one of their numbers.
You have an excellent form,
Consistent and warm.
There is regret but also fondness,
As you remember whom you now miss.
Minor repeated grammatical snafu's
Does little to hamper the pace and flow.
The overall feel of this is one of eulogy,
Remembering one who impacted your life daily.
Suggestion for improvement would be to change the "use" in the present tense to "used" in lines 2 and 19. Also for consistency you could move "Quarter to Eleven" to the end of line 20. You complete your thought there and another line is not necessary.
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Write on!
Copenator out!
Gripping and sadness is what this reader feels. Imagery that brings to life your story.
Putting this in words is a form of catharsis and the reader finds his/herself rooting for your healing.
The flow is good, there is a crispness about it that is soothing.
The pace is medium and suits the subject matter of this piece.
You maintained your "black hole" theme throughout which keeps the reader focused.
Well done job and no suggestions for improvement can be made at this time.
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Write on!
Copenator out!
You have a good story here Prescious. There are a few items that hamper to flow and pace, but the meaning of your story is brought to bear. The flow is good and the imagery is sufficient to engage the reader emotionally. You are encouraged to work on this, tweaking some of the grammatical matters, and make this a stronger piece that stands on it's own or is a launching pad for a part two.
Suggestions for improvement:
Line 3: "then" should be "than".
Line 4: "gape" did you mean "gait"? As is your step was wider than mine.
Further minor details will help this be a 5 star matter in anyones book.
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Write on!
Copenator out!
Main feeling: A sense of contentment. You and your "brother" have that bond.
Flow: Smooth and rustic at the same time. You speak of all characteristics with abandon.
Structure and form are complimentary to the story and enhances the pace with the absence of grammatical matters to discuss.
Message found within: Brothers are brothers for life.
Suggestions for improvement: No adjustments are necessary.
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Write on!
Copenator out!
You have a good beginning for a story here and I'd encourage you to continue on the track you are going. Within this piece there are all the elements necessary to carry a story and help serve as a base to expand upon.
Flow is good, the pace is adequate and only slightly faltered by the grammatical error located.
Suggestions for improvement would be to perhaps tweak the paragraph breaks to be a little more accessible. In other words some of your paragraphs could be spaced out more evenly and others tightened up for the readers sake.
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Write on!
Copenator out!
50
Enchanting storyline and presentation.
Every line brought the reader a new sensation.
The strength of this is the flow that is so gentle,
Yet stands strong in details the reader settles.
Giving voice to a snowflake is a marvelous imagery display.
The wonder in their banter back and forth, their fears to allay.
Form, structure, and pace are assets to the readability,
The absence of grammatical matters puts this in the upper eschelon!
Write on!
Copenator out!
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A philosophical piece is well written.
There is good flow, not too fast or slow.
The structure is sufficient for your intent,
And the lines are chosen and heaven sent.
Looking at this from a ways back
One can see that to you family is important.
The imagery is palpable and the reader is taken on a journey to be sure.
Wisdom is garnered over the years and you have arrived.
Life is found here and so well you do describe.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
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This represents review #5 of 7 for your winning bid in the 2d First Peoples Auction by ShelleyA
Stunning is the word the reader takes from this.
The emotion is raw, real, and causes one to deal.
Imagery that brings to light the sad, the hope, and the happiness.
Form, structure, and pace are conducive to a leisurely stroll through this.
With every turn, with every shift, no details the reader does miss.
Your attention to detail is again complimentary to the flow,
Writing and drawing people into your words, this you truly know.
Your craft is writing, your gift is sharing, your asset is your faith.
What suggestions can be made for improvement? None here either, all's well that ends well.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
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This represents review #4 of 7 for your winning bid in the 2d First Peoples Auction by ShelleyA
A very sensual poem is found here.
The emotion is prevalent and so near.
Your inspiration you echoed well,
Securing the lines with each word nail.
The picturesque scenes you did relate,
In a flow that made one feel just a little late.
Not rushed mind you, but aware of time.
Your form, structure, and rhyme are sublime.
There is within this not one jot or title out of place,
A sign of your intention to make for an easy pace.
You deserve an award for this piece,
As the prevailing emotion is tranquil peace.
Write on in the WDC!
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This is a wondrous flowing piece of poetry.
Your pace is slow and suited to the piece.
The emotion that bleeds through is melancholy.
The form, structure, and rhyming scheme are stellar.
There is a sense of completion in this piece.
Suggestions for improvement are unnecessary.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
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Awesome Psalm. Beginning with your expression of gratitude and ending with the source of that gratitude the Lord God who is all things to all people in all times.
Written in a form that suits a Psalm, leaving room for thought and meditation along the way, with the line breaks.
The flow is strong and enhanced by the absence of grammatical snafu's. The imagery brings the reader right into the attitude of worship that the finest of David's Psalms are capable of doing.
Thank you for sharing your Psalm with the Lord and us through this medium known as the WdC!
Write on!
This is review #6 of 7 in your gifted raffle package from Jay's debut novel is out now! who won the package and is blessing you with the fulfillment.
Copenator out!
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Awesome story that you led us through. We too have met Mr. C through your sharing about the life he wrote about for his family.
The flow is good, there is good humor, vivid imagery and notes of sad times that brought the appropriate emotional response at each point.
The pace is unfettered by grammatical snafu's and lent a good reading experience throughout the entire narrative. You told Mr. C's story well and we are the richer from reading it.
No suggestions for improvement are necessary and thanks for sharing from your heart to ours. Write on in the WdC!
This is review #4 of 7 in your gifted raffle package from Jay's debut novel is out now! who won the package and is blessing you with the fulfillment.
Copenator out!
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