Welcome to the WdC! Found this in the Noticing Newbies Newsletter.
You do a fine job relating this tale of couches through the years of your life together. The imagery is fluid and gives the sense of happiness and some sadness as well along the way.
What I liked: The flow and the transitions from couch to couch, and in the end back to the original that you began with.
What I did not like: The "missing" piece. Sadly that happens and you placed that at the end so masterfully, hiding it until the very end. That is well written build up!
Any Hindrances? Just a few minor hiccups in spelling which in my opinion did not really take away from the overall good storyline.
Suggestions for Improvement: Reviewing for grammatical matters will tighten this up and help other readers who may be more attuned to the stumbling block that spelling can become in a story.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Welcome to the WdC. Found this in the Noticing Newbies Newsletter.
You have a good story to tell and you do a good job of telling it. The reader is captivated by the scenery, colors, and the clean air. All brought to life by the imagery you used in this piece.
The flow is good as well, only hampered by minor hiccups in the road that can be altered to make for a smoother read.
The pace is of a leisurely stroll through the life and times of a year in the country with Grandma Dottie. I enjoyed the adventures you took the reader on and reminisced to some of the days we did exploring the waters edges along a creek.
Suggestions for improvement would include editing for grammatical matters:
One example is near the end of your story.
"Not long after we plated the seeds. . ." Unless "plated" is a term that refers to planting the seeds that this writer has not heard before, then "planted" would be a better word to use.
Overall impression: A nice year spent at a cabin in the country with fun and learning by all.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Found your piece in the Noticing Newbies Newsletter.
A moving story you relate and from the beginning I can identify with the parent's fighting and escaping to wherever they weren't.
Imagery in this brings the reader into the cold and a shiver is the result.
Your flow is good, hampered by a few grammatical matters that I would be willing to help you overcome in an email.
You have a good write here and the talent you have is evident. The form, structure, and pace are well organized and helps with the readability of this piece.
Suggestion for Improvement: "i" when referring to yourself, you should capitalize, otherwise the letter can become lost in the midst of other words and the reader can lose his/her flow by having to look over a passage again trying to find who is experiencing things.
Thanking you for joining the WdC and sharing from your heart.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Awesome 16 line woven with perfection and featured in Stormy's Poetry newsletter.
What I liked about this: Everything. So well paced, free flowing, and funny too.
What the title and intro did for me: It made me wonder what an old vampire would talk about.
Grammatical matters: zilch! Nada! Well done with your attention to detail.
Overall impression: This is worth reading more than once because it is a big wow!
Suggestions for improvement: Touch not a little bitty bit, for you're just right on this marvel of a write.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Hello Yellow, I found your piece in Stormy's Poetry Newsletter.
A very serene scene you do present,
As if the moment is heaven sent.
Shared with a loved one so near,
There is a sense of awe in the air.
Your piece paints a picture of emotions from awe to utter happiness and peace.
A fairy tale that can be real in so many lives, if they will slow down and smell the roses.
Flow is as fluid as the mist filled stream.
Pace is as unhurried and such a dream.
Grammatical attention to details,
Equals no suggestions for improvement this review can entail.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Congratulations on your honorable mention win in Stormy's Poetry Contest. I found your bitem there and upon reading this piece one could see why it was chosen.
You tell a mighty tale of revenge, hope, love, and a happy ending in the end. Who could ask for more. You do so with a flow that is almost ballad like at a pace that is comfortable and not information overloaded.
You endear the reader to the victims plight and that's good imagery.
You are congratulated and thanked for sharing from your heart this tale that has a happy ending over all.
The absence of grammatical matter to discuss results in no suggestions for improvement.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Congratulations on your 1st place win in Stormy's poetry contest.
What an enchanting tale you relate in a form that is consistent and keeps the readers attention.
The imagery is cinematic in nature and the main emotion is calm with a bit of concern on the part of wise owl.
The flow is so gentle, smooth, and grammatically clean. A big 3.0 along the way.
There is a quiet pace as the reader assimilates the scene that is unfolding before their eyes.
The absence of any grammatical matters to discuss leaves no suggestions for improvement. I'm grateful for Stormy's contest and the big 1st place win for you.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Such high caliber work is found here.
The gifts you speak of are precious and dear.
Given by the Creator to His creation,
We have the onus to tell all nations.
A smooth flowing piece that is alive and free,
Coupled with a fabulous rhyming spree.
Makes for a joyous read,
From grammatical matters it's truly freed.
Finding you in the Noticing Newbies Newsletter,
A finer example of poetry can rarely be found, none better.
The writers who find their ways here are,
Some of the finest budding greats by far.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Impeccable grace and beauty found in this piece.
You are thanked for sharing, and instilling such peace.
You show the reader a glimpse out your window,
And draw the finest of pictures in so few lines, wow!
All at a pace that is lilting and rhythmical in nature.
Your gift is evident here and thanks for sharing it here in the WdC.
Suggestions for improvement are not needed this time, as you have done an excellent job as is.
I found your piece in the latest edition of Noticing Newbies Newsletter and grateful to the editor for choosing this fine piece of literary poetry.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Welcome to the WdC. I found your piece in the latest edition of the Noticing Newbies Newsletter.
As a veteran of the retail store for 6 years I can relate to this.
I am on the side of the selling and actually do try to sell with a twist.
I'm known as the jingler where I work and have even had my jingles displayed in the seasonal aisle.
All this to say it is clear to see that so many others just don't want to sell and are just passing their time and then going out to party like there's no tomorrow.
I was enchanted by the form, pace, structure, and the rhyming scheme.
All elements essential to a good story done in a poetic format, earns a double kudos!
The absence of visible grammatical matters give rise to even more praise.
Leading to the absence of any suggestions for improvement on this day.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Sadly mankind oftentimes betrays.
Traps and nooses they do lay.
Like fishermen they can be patient,
But in the end they aren't repentant.
Your flow is gentle and emotion filled,
The pace is slow and not distilled.
The form is significant and works well here.
The absence of grammatical matters equals a cheer!
Suggestions for improvement?
Change not a single element.
With pen and ink inscribe the words,
And make an ex look like a nerd.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Found your piece on the Plug-Page and thanks for sharing your work here.
A dark write this is indeed.
About love that you did misread.
All the pain, rejection, great imagery,
In a flow that smacks like a tree.
Line-after-line so full of a scheme of rhyme,
Upon this piece you spent some time.
Suggestions for improvement are but slim,
It seems the final stanza needs a trim.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Sad and sadder still.
But such a thrill.
You write a story for a contest,
But in truth you give anger a rest.
Good-bye to grammatical matters,
And hello to flawless flow with tiny blood spatters.
Graceful and sure the pouch is emptied,
In the end all matters of writing are covered, yippee!
Suggestions for improvement: Not if you're still holding the pouch and sword!
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I speak out against abuse,
And it's clear here there was misuse.
You bravely stood and learned,
And for freedom you yearned.
Sorry you had to grow from pain,
Would that all anger were slain.
You give hope to others who read,
And stand ready to take the lead.
Overall Impression: There is strength in these words that cannot be denied.
A flow, pace, form, structure, that make for the lightest of reads, is filled with emotion that runs the gamut.
Suggestions for Improvement: None needed and thank you for sharing!
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
A really good crossword challenge for the Christmas holiday.
I got most of them and others I'll just let go, cause I can't say.
Your questions were good, the format was well done,
A lot of fun can be had by the reader and the creator.
You tell a tale with the clues you give and thanks for bringing it alive.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Sorry to hear this is in memory of your mother.
I walked in the Alzheimer's Memory Walk on the 16th.
I wrote an Acrostic Prayer I'd like to share with you. I walked under the theme "Keeping the Dreams Alive", because I found an Acrostic Memorial I had done for a lady who perished at the age of 70 who had Alzheimer's. Her first name was the same as my mom's who also perished in her 70s but not from dementia related matters.
May I place this image in the static item I am going to create?
Thanking you for displaying this and sorry for your loss.
Write on in the WdC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
That is an interesting sermon illustration or stands on it's own as a
The form is good, flow is even and well paced.
The dominant emotion: trepidation.
Your piece is filled with wisdom and the warring shot to be wary of tradition for Traditions sake.
write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Interesting little piece. The flow is a little jointed, and may be helped by shortening the first line at natural breaks along the way, and form is sufficient to related the meaning one is seeking to get across.
The absence of grammatical matters to discuss and the pace at which this reads are assets to the story.
Emotional response: I wonder, sometimes, therefore I think.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the WDC!
Write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Welcome to the WdC and thank you for sharing your Last Goodbye. Found your piece in the latest edition of the Noticing Newbies Newsletter.
Sadness melts the heart of the readers.
This is a signal of good imagery, a real leader.
The flow is gentle and caring,
The pace is easy and details sharing.
The absence of grammatical snafu's,
Means no suggestions for improvement are necessary.
Write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Found you in the latest edition of the Noticing Newbies newsletter.
I was impressed with the consistency of your rhyming scheme.
Sadness is a palpable emotion and that's good imagery, a theme.
Your flow is like the water easing it's way downstream.
A pace that is enhanced by the absence of grammatical snafu's, quite a dream.
You paint a picture with your words,
And with grace you lead the reader forward.
Your pain is visible and strikes a chord.
The suggestions for improvement? None needed here.
Write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Excellent! The robbers were burned and got their just deserts.
Jack was sneakier than they thought, still seems wrong what he did but hey now he's rich and probably not working there.
The flow is well paced and the absence of grammatical matters makes it an even more enjoyable read.
Key words: "just as planned." The repetition of this phrase is a great tool and kept the reader guessing what it all means. The punch line sealed the deal.
Excellent!
Write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This is a dark write done quite well,
The flow is solid and sounds just swell.
Dominant emotion is despair,
Hoping one will come up for air.
The structure makes it a little hard to read,
Thus hampering the pace that should lead.
Overall Impact: The imagery is clearly that of life's so unfair.
The absence of grammatical matters to discuss leaves this one suggestion for improvement.
Break the lines up at their natural stops (ex. Line 1 would end with "inside").
The advantage to doing this is the form is a little more digestible.
Gives the reader who may be partial to dark writes,
more time to savor the dark so delectable.
Write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
These 4 poems are almost like a time capsule over the years.
Well paced, save for #3 due to line breaks, there is a nice flow to each.
The prosaic form is suited to the subject of each write.
A flow that is easy going and gently splashed with detail along the way.
What you have here is a "sonnet of life" as filled in by the tides of time.
No suggestions for improvement; save for the line adjustments in #3; cannot be provided at this time.
Write on in the WDC!
Copeantor out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
The reader can see a struggle going on; a love-hate kind of thing; being waged from within. Imagery that gets it.
The flow is well suited and enhanced by the lack of any discernible grammatical snafu's.
There is within this piece one emotion that stands out, regret.
Form, structure, and pace are all elements that makes this a joy to read.
Suggestion for improvement: there appears to be a word missing between "in on" in the second sentence. Thanks for sharing on the wdc.
Write on in the WDC!
Copeantor out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
There is an intriguing cadence to this piece. The flawless execution of the rhyming scheme (ad/bc), consistent form and structure, leads to a rewarding piece that the reader can be involved in. Imagery is strong without and the reader is invested in the end to this awe inspiring season. You write well and the reader recognizes that soon and very soon.
The absence of grammatical matters to discuss leads you to the one small suggestion to achieve what this reviewer perceives an intention to BOLD text the title.
Suggestion for improvement: Your tag encapsulating the title October, is html. The WdC utilizes Ml and the proper tag to achieve the bold you desire is demonstrated here. Place the title between these two Ml tools and you will have a Bold Title.
Write on in the WDC!
Copenator out!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/copenator/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/45
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.66 seconds at 1:09pm on Jul 08, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
