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 |  My first blog! |
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A Haunted Place  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Who Am I? Ghoulish and dark, serious and intense Okay, I may have exaggerated a little bit! I'm not that gloomy and miserable. I do know how to have fun and I love to laugh. This is my first blog and I've set it up to help motivate myself to write every day... well, almost every day... well, more often than I write now.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I'm docked at "Blog Harbor from The Talent Pond"  , a safe port for bloggers to connect. |
| There is a conversation near the end of the seventh Harry Potter book between Professor Dumbledore and Harry that I absolutely love! I’m going to write it out here but I’ll use the popnotes tag to avoid spoiling the book for people who haven't read it yet... Conversation How wonderful is that? It gets me feeling kind of philosophical and that rarely happens! It makes me reflect on the different ways people think which always makes my mind boggle. It is just strange for me to think that other people think and I know that sounds mad. I just hope it makes sense! I believe everyone has their own world in their mind and that world is real to them. I also feel kind of comforted by the conversation I have quoted. I can’t explain why, really. I just feel maybe that I’m not mad because the stuff in my mind is real. It’s there, isn’t it, so it must be real. Just because other people can’t understand what is happening in my “world” doesn’t make it unreal. I so badly wanted to get my thoughts out about this subject but I’m doing a really crappy job. Let me try something else... I spend a lot of time wishing I didn’t have depression or OCD or any other label that can probably be applied to me. But then I have a fear of becoming free of those things too because they feel like a very real part of my personality and things have felt that way for a long time. I’m just scared that I’ll lose part of my identity if I get better. So though I desperately don’t want to be the way I am at the moment, I’m terrified of changing because... well, I don’t know. I guess I’m just scared of the unknown and I’m scared I’ll lose my sense of who I am. Am I making any sense at all? I feel like I’m getting crazier and crazier these days and my thoughts are becoming more jumbled up than ever. I’m speaking to my doctor tomorrow and I’m actually looking forward to it. For the first time in my life I feel happy to be seeing a doctor! I must be mad. I just want to say stuff. I want to get everything out. I want to try and explain my world to someone. Now I sound like an idiot! That’s what I want to do but who knows how I’ll be tomorrow morning? I hope I don’t clam up like I usually do! I just need to talk. But I never find that easy...  I’ve had a rough day today and I’m feeling extremely overwhelmed. I think that is why I’m rambling on at the moment. I’m just trying to make sense of stuff. I have a very important decision to make and I just feel incapable of making it. Last time all I could do was decide not to decide and that was a bad decision. I don’t want to do that this time. ARRGGGHHHH!!!!! I absolutely hate my brain. I really do. |
| Well, today has been a little better than last night! My sister and I met up with our half-brother’s half-brother (confused?) who I haven’t seen in four or five years. That was nice and he is the same as ever! We did a bit of shopping and then went to Weatherspoons for lunch. He is coming around ours tomorrow as it is my Mum’s birthday. I did manage to make some decisions eventually and am travelling to view a flat with my sister tomorrow. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it is perfect as I’m paying a lot of money to see it! I like the new changes to the site, mostly. The new-look portfolio will take some getting used to but I don’t hate it. I like the tabs. The “Community” page is awesome! I quite like the “Fans” idea too. I’ve put some stuff on the plug pages as I haven’t been receiving a lot of reviews recently, which I feel is a shame as I think some of my newest stuff is some of my best! But, oh well! I haven’t been so active recently but I want to get back involved again. I’ve started the reviews for my contest and hope to do some more later tonight. And that’s all I can be bothered to blog about right now. |
| I’m having a rough night. It is 3AM here and I can’t sleep. I’m feeling pretty distressed. Strong word, but that’s how I feel. My family is falling apart at the moment. My brother seems so depressed but there is nothing I can do because although we live in the same house and do love each other (deep down), we don’t actually speak. It would do more harm than good if I tried to talk to him and I wouldn’t even know where to begin anyway. My sister is on the verge of ruining her wonderful relationship and all for an absolute skanky Slimeball. If she chooses the Slimeball over her boyfriend then I don’t think I’ll ever be able to speak to her again. I am incapable of making decisions so I am avoiding anything important right now, which means I have stuff hanging over me and I just can’t cope. I am sick of letting people into my head and allowing them to mess with my thoughts. I was supposed to see my doctor tomorrow but the appointment has been rearranged for Wednesday which is really shitty because I am falling apart and need help now! I have a raging headache because I’m so stressed and that’s making my jaw tense.  I’m a wreck and I just want to curl up and sleep my life away. But I can’t get to sleep!!!!!!  |
| I just took a really interesting survey to help me decide who to vote for in the general election next month. It was split into nine categories: crime, environment, education, democracy, Europe, Health/NHS, economy, immigration and welfare. For each category policies were given from Labour, the Conservatives, the Liberal Democrats, the Green Party, UKIP and the BNP, but it didn’t say which policies were from which party until the results were given. My results were as follows: Liberal Democrats: 55.56% (I chose their policies on environment, democracy, Europe, economy, and immigration) Green Party: 33.33% (I chose their policies on Education, Health/NHS and welfare) Conservatives: 11.11% (I chose their policy on crime) This has been a real eye-opener for me seeing as I was going to vote Labour! That’s what I did last time (the first time I could legally vote), partly because my parents vote Labour and partly because I didn’t want to vote for the Conservatives and it was pretty much a two-horse race then. This time around things are a lot less predictable and it is kind of exciting! If anyone is interested in taking the survey it can be found here: http://voteforpolicies.org.uk/ |
My Mum and her partner are trapped in Turkey thanks to the ash cloud from the Icelandic volcano which is now hovering over Britain and most other parts of Europe, I think. They were supposed to be home on Thursday but don’t think they’ll be able to fly for a few days now.  They’ve been put up in a five star Hilton hotel with free food and drink, so it isn’t all bad, but my Mum said in a text message that she’d rather be home now.  I hope they get back soon!  Today has been okay. I went shopping with my sister, which was quite fun. Then I had a lovely walk with Jadey. We have such nice weather here today so I took her for a long walk. I went to see Remember Me at the cinema yesterday with my sister and her boyfriend. I’m sorry but I just don’t see what a large majority of the female population see in Robert Pattinson! I don’t find him attractive at all! The film was okay. Not great, but not terrible either. I liked how they did the ending. I just didn’t really get the point of the film to be honest and I thought some of the acting was a bit lame. Now I’m up in my room as my brother and his girlfriend are hogging the living room yet again. Wish they’d just get lost! I’m kind of bored and should probably start my contest reviews. I’m just not sure I can be bothered! |
| Seeing ‘3 stars is average’ everywhere at the moment has just reminded me of how much I struggle with the rating system on this site. I like reviewing but I loathe rating and I’ll be the first to admit I have been wildly inconsistent when it comes to giving out those stars! I’m trying to fix that, but really, I hate giving out low ratings and I don’t see how it is helpful to be honest. A lot of the time when I have given a low rating that seems to be all the author can focus on. It doesn’t matter that I made some positive comments (I don’t review an item if I can’t think of a single positive thing to say), all they can see is that I didn’t give them more pretty stars! Not everyone is like that, of course, but I have lost count of the number of times I have had a hostile or sad response because I rated below 4. Everyone has their own interpretation of the rating system, which is fine, but it does kind of make the system worthless in my opinion. As examples, some people only rate 4.5 and 5 and others only give 4 stars for everything. I too have my own system. I am never going to rate an item 1 or 1.5 stars. I’m sorry but I just can’t do it! I feel it would do more harm than good. I don’t think I have ever rated 2 stars either, or if I have, I’ve only done it a couple of times. For me, around 3.5 and 4 stars is average. I might give 3.5 to an item which is slightly below average or to an item which contains spelling and grammatical errors etc, but which I feel is average. I’ll give 3 stars to an item which I feel is below average and 2.5 to an item which I think needs a lot of work. This leaves 4.5 and 5 stars for the items which I think are very good and excellent. It isn’t perfect and like I said earlier, I can be inconsistent with my ratings sometimes, but I am always honest with my comments. So if you get a review from me, please don’t pay too much attention to the rating! I feel my comments are much more important than the number of stars I have given out. I have actually considered bypassing the rating system by rating everything five stars, yet still being totally honest with my comments. I think people might possibly be able to take the constructive criticism less personally if it isn’t accompanied by a lack of stars. I have also considered setting all of my own items to “review only” because I don’t like getting low ratings but feel kind of hypocritical giving them out and then expecting people not to get upset with me. I am getting better at receiving lower ratings, which is one of the reasons I haven’t changed my reviewing/rating preference yet. Another reason is that I have found I get less feedback for my items which are already set to “review only”. I do want feedback and constructive criticism and suggestions for improvement, I just don’t feel entirely comfortable with having my work rated, especially as there are flaws when it comes to the rating system. It is a complicated issue and for now I think I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing when it comes to rating and reviewing. Hopefully giving and receiving ratings will become easier for me with time! |
| I’m so frustrated and upset and stressed. Why does everything always have be to so confusing? Why do I always have to hate myself and feel so insecure and make everything so complicated? I am so sick of my mind and the way it works and the chaos that goes on inside it all the time. I hate that I always end up doubting myself and allow others to make me doubt myself. I wish I wasn’t me. |
| I am so, so, so, so tired. I fell asleep really early, slept for a while (not sure how long) and then woke up for no apparent reason. Now I can’t get back to sleep even though I am totally exhausted. Also, I am quite freaked out because I fell asleep with my stereo on and when I woke up, it was off!!! I know it was on and the last song I remember hearing was ‘Sunday Bloody Sunday’ by U2. So how did it get turned off?!?! It can’t turn itself off so either someone can into my room and turned it off or I did it in my sleep. Both possibilities freak me out! The first one isn’t really plausible though because why would someone come into my room? Maybe they would if the music was too loud, which I don’t think it was, and if I didn’t respond when they knocked, which I’m sure I would have! I don’t sleep that deeply. And if someone had come into my room, surely I would have woken up then? So I must have turned it off in my sleep. But I find it kind of creepy that I can do something like that, where I would have to sit up, avoid the full glass of water in front of the stereo and press the right button to turn it off, but just not remember doing it! I know this shouldn’t be a big deal but I just woke up feeling tired and confused and I can’t seem to shake those feelings. I wish the stereo thing was all I was tired of and confused about, but it's not. Today has been horrible. It’s funny how quickly moods can change isn’t it? On Sunday I was extremely depressed, yesterday I felt pretty great and today I’m back to feeling extremely depressed. I can’t stand it! |
I’m on a bit of high today, which makes a change, as my driving lesson went pretty well.  My OCD has an absolute field day when I’m driving! I constantly worry and doubt myself. Every little action or decision I have to make turns into a huge nightmare where I doubt my ability, think I have done something wrong or worry I am about to do something wrong. I feel the need to check everything with my driving instructor and it gets to the point where I just want to scream at myself to shut the hell up! I don’t know how he stays so patient with me. I know lots of new drivers probably have to seek reassurance about their actions but I really do take it to the extreme. Anyway, (I am going somewhere with this!) before the lesson today I decided that I would try to be more confident and really make an effort not to ask so many questions and check, double-check and triple-check things so often. I’m really pleased because I practically halved the reassurance-seeking behaviour. It was tough and I still had to do it occasionally, but it is less than constant now so I’m happy, and I can keep working on it. One thing I realised is if I stop wasting time on checking something with my instructor, I have more time to act and 9 out of 10 times I’m going to get it right anyway. I don’t get as flustered if I’m not babbling away, trying to check I’m doing it right, and if the instructor does have to correct me, I’m more likely to take in what he says! Constant reassurance-seeking is not going to help me progress and I can see that now. I feel like I had a breakthrough in my lesson today! I did make some mistakes (one big one ) and I have been dwelling on them, but I’ve been thinking about the good stuff too, so that is also an improvement. So overall, a good day. I’m exhausted now though! |
| I am so ridiculously bored. I’ve been trapped up in my room for most of the day because my horrible brother and his horrible girlfriend have taken over the living room and are watching TV really loudly. I’m feeling extremely stressed, depressed and irritated. I walked Jade earlier but otherwise I have done nothing because I have no life. No friends. No job. No life. No purpose. I’m existing, not living. I don’t do anything. I’m just a waste of space really and I can’t stand it anymore. I might go to sleep. That is all I’m good for these days. I have no energy for much else. The forty-five minute walk earlier totally exhausted me. I think I might just sleep my life away. Sounds good to me. |
| I taught myself a new skill today: the art of threading. No, not threading a needle, threading hair! The reason I wanted to learn really was because I’d heard about it and was curious about how it worked. I just couldn’t picture how it could work and I was bored, so I decided to do a little research. It is rather awesome! It is also kind of tricky and hurts a little, though not as much as waxing. I managed it the first time I tried but that turned out to be a fluke as I then lost the knack. But I kept practising and am getting better. I am not brave enough to shape my eyebrows though! Why am I blogging about this? I have no idea! It’s something a little different, maybe? I have played games on facebook a lot today. I get so obsessive about beating high scores, whether my own or other people’s! I like to be the best at stuff but can’t just settle for being a little bit better. No, I have to be miles better! It is a rather annoying trait I have and often leads to disappointment and frustration, not to mention hours of wasted time.I also took an emotions test and got this result: You know how to let your emotions show but you still find it difficult to do so as often as you should. You should be prepared to let your emotions out more often. When you feel sad let yourself cry, when you feel angry, let your anger show, when you feel happy allow a smile to cross your face. Allowing your emotions out in this way will do wonders to your physical and mental health. Sounds about right. I do have real trouble showing my emotions. I hate crying in front of people and I often cover my mouth when I’m laughing. Weird, but true. Then I took a personality quiz and got the following results: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken. I don’t know how accurate it is as I’m me and not “others”. I don’t make friends easily and I am loyal. Loyalty is one of the things I value most. I had my trust in my friends broken about seven years ago and I’m still not over it. So, yes, that part is correct. But I’m not sure this is how others see me. I’d be interested to know how others see me! I think I come across as intense, serious and snobby, but that’s not me! That’s just my shyness. I can be intense and serious sometimes but I have a brilliant sense of humour. I just need to feel comfortable with a person before I can unleash the brilliance! I’m definitely not a snob though and it saddens me to think that I have probably come across this way to people before. THEN... (I was very bored) I took a quiz to see whether I am left or right brain dominant. I have taken several quizzes like this before and results always show that I use both sides of my brain equally. This test was no exception and I think it seems about right. I am analytical, like to be in control, like to think things through, like things to be ordered and logical and often focus on little details, which are all associated with the left side of the brain. But I am also imaginative, creative, prone to daydreaming and can be very unpredictable, which are apparently associated with the right side of the brain. It really does make sense! I have a science degree (and had to exercise the left side of my brain to get it) and I enjoy creative writing as a hobby (and probably need the right side of my brain more for that!) I find this kind of thing pretty interesting. I hope others do too! |
I’m not going to moan in my blog anymore...  JUST KIDDING!!! I couldn’t even type the first sentence with a straight face! Moaning is what I do best. I am not in a good way at the moment. Lack of sleep is getting to me. My thoughts are out of control. I’m sooooo depressed. Making simple decisions has become a nightmare. Last night I couldn’t decide whether or not to wash my hair. I agonised over it until it got too late to wash my hair so the decision was made for me. Even when it is happening, I can see how ridiculous it is, but that doesn’t seem to help in the moment. Grrrrrrr it is frustrating. |
I am so sick of the modern-day vampire! Twilight? Edward-mania? True Blood? Whatever! Why the hell are they considered sexy? I can't figure it out. I was inspired to write a poem though:  Come, Sexy Vampire... Come, sexy vampire, thrust your bacteria-infested fangs into my flesh and let your oral poison flow through my veins. Please, please, bring me pain! Make me shriek as your teeth pierce through my carotid artery. Suck me, slurp me, drink me to orgasm, then watch my body writhe and spasm... as I haemorrhage to death. Hehe, twisted erotica? I’m in a funny mood today. Not sure whether to make this a static item... Edit: Mwahaha! It is now a static item:
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I missed my blog’s birthday! It turned 1 on the 29th of March!  I just haven’t felt like blogging in a while. My life is pretty much the same as usual. Mark visited recently which was nice. I love spending time with him. I’m still having driving lessons and am still finding them stressful. I am making progress though and can now drive on the main roads. I drove at 70mph on a dual carriageway in my last lesson... It was absolutely terrifying!I’m bored stiff a lot of the time and have been thinking more and more recently that I need start working. Once I’ve got my health issues under control and have a driving license I am going to start putting all my energy into finding my ideal job. I’ve seen stuff that looks promising but haven’t applied as they require someone with a full driving license. But things are coming up all the time so I think it will be okay to wait a while and in the mean time I might look into doing some volunteer work and/or environmental courses. I need to get my physical and mental health under control before I start thinking about getting a job. I was recently diagnosed with a B12 deficiency and have been getting injections to correct that. I have next to no energy at the moment and the injections haven’t started working yet. Hopefully they will soon because I can’t stand being like this! I have also started taking antidepressants for the first time in my life. After eight/nine years of trying to beat my depression without drugs, I have finally given in. This is my last hope! They are not working so far but it is still early days. They just make me sleepy which isn’t good when my energy is so low anyway! Things on WDC have been good. I came third in the Defining Poetry contest again. At least I am consistent! I have been getting back into reviewing slowly but surely and was a Simply Positive star reviewer last month. I am helping to judge another poetry contest and have also been judging my own so I am very busy. I wrote a new poem yesterday. It is kind of depressing but I’m pleased with it:
And that’s all I can think to write about at the moment. |
| I just took a career quiz and this was my profile result, with my personal commentary added to it in red font. You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness (my what now?), and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to be creative, without having to be involved with lots of people (sounds good). Some careers that would be perfect for you are: Artist (I have no artistic ability) Historian (I have absolutely no interest in history) Banker (I cannot think of anything I’d rather do less) Novelist (sure!) University Professor (um... no) Photographer (I am exceptionally good at photographing my own fingers!) Vet (nope) Paralegal (don’t even know what that is) Graphic Designer (I have no interest in graphic design) Online Content Developer (I don’t know what that is) Webmaster (nope) Producer (of what?) Managing Director (of what?) Nutritionist (um... probably not) Advertising (absolutely not) Nursing (I have considered this before but I really don’t think it is for me). You like working and being alone (not always). You like to avoid attention at all costs (pretty much). You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private. You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly (definitely). You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses (um... what?). You like to be deeply involved in one or two special projects (do I?). You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others and protect their feelings. You trust your gut instincts (not always!). You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration (that’s an outrageous lie!). You are very innovative (well...if you say so!). You analyse things by looking at the big picture (that’s news to me). You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future (I do). You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language. You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself (absolutely true. I’d die in an office job. Or at least my soul would ). You like to learn new things (I do). You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.So, some of it is accurate and some of it isn’t. It is rather general and such a wide and weird range of jobs have been suggested. It wasn’t very helpful as I still have no idea what I want to do. |
| I’ve never watched an entire Academy Awards ceremony before because, to be honest, it’s usually really boring and I’m not prepared to sit through hours and hours of schmaltz and arse-kissing and really terrible gags. But I’m always interested in who won what etc. And I love reading all the newspaper and magazine features afterwards, like Best and Worst moments, or Fashion Hits and Misses, or whatever. I love seeing all the glitzy dresses! In fact, that’s my favourite part! I thought Helen Mirren, Cameron Diaz and Sandra Bullock all looked gorgeous (though Sandra Bullock really needs to do something new with her hair!) Charlize Theron looked terrible. What on earth was she thinking? She’s stunning but even she couldn’t pull off that awful, awful dress. And why did she choose that lipstick colour? It clashed horribly. Urgh! Carey Mulligan, too, made a really bad choice in my opinion. She looked like a twelve year boy trying on his sister’s party dress. Not a good look and those clumpy shoes were just wrong! I liked the style (cut?) of Maggie Gyllenhaal’s dress but the print on it was hideous and just didn’t seem classy enough for the occasion. I don’t know (or care) who Vera Farmiga is but I am curious to know why she dressed up as a flower. I’m pleased Mo’Nique won best supporting actress. I wasn’t as enamoured with “Precious” as the majority of people seem to be but I thought she gave a spectacular performance. I so wanted “Up” to get Best Picture but knew it wouldn’t happen! At least it got Best Animated Feature. I haven’t seen The Hurt Locker and don’t really have any desire to see it either. Today has been pretty cool. I had a driving lesson and it went really well. I drove on the main roads a bit and got up to 50mph which I found terrifying! I got quite a lot of praise from my driving instructor so that has given me a bit of a boost. When I got home I went out again almost straight away with Jade and we had a really nice walk. She did a couple of flying rolls. This tricky manoeuvre is making a reappearance now that the weather is getting nicer and making our walks even more enjoyable. The Flying Roll is where she runs, throws herself onto her back, and then leaps back up. It looks great fun... I’m not going to try it though! So overall, a good day.  |
| Hmmmm... I’ve had several driving lessons now and don’t feel like it’s getting easier or that I’m getting more confident. I’m still just as tense as I was in my first lesson. It took a tremendous amount of courage to get back behind the wheel yesterday as my confidence had been severely shaken in the previous lesson. But I did it and I was okay and I even learned a new manoeuvre: turning in the road. I pretty much got it the first time, which was kind of cool. I struggled a little bit the second time when my driving instructor refused to talk me through it but I got there in the end! My instructor says I have to spend five minutes before my next lesson “psyching myself up” as I need to be a little “meaner” when driving apparently! He says I’m doing good but just need to be a bit more confident now and get my speed up. I still feel like I'm doing crap though. I hate driving. I absolutely hate every second of it! But I can’t quit. I’ve never been a quitter and I’m not going to become one now. |
| I wish I could snap out of this self-pitying frame of mind but I just can’t seem to. Perhaps that’s why hardly anyone visits my blog anymore! I have been very whiny these last few days, I know that, and it continues! Since my dentist appointment on Friday my teeth obsession has increased. I’ve had an obsession with checking my teeth for caught food after eating for ages, which I find intensely embarrassing. It is horrible when I’m eating out with others and I have to check my teeth with a little hand mirror.  But now? I’m checking every hour or so, even if I’ve already checked after eating! It is highly frustrating.  Also, brushing and flossing my teeth has become a bit of an ordeal and is causing me a lot of anxiety. What is happening to me!!!Also, I’m so ridiculously down and lonely at the moment that whenever anyone goes out (or goes offline), I feel a real sense of abandonment. Ridiculous, I know! I had a blood test this morning which should help the doctor decide how they are going to treat my vitamin B12 deficiency (either with injections or oral supplements). I can’t wait to start the treatment, which should hopefully give me some more energy. I hope the results of the test come back quickly. Today has been rather dull and I have been tired for a lot of it. I walked Jade which totally drained me of energy. I’ve spent a lot of time on facebook as I have become rather obsessed with the game Cafe World! I’m probably going to stay up for the Quill Awards Ceremony, which is tonight. How exciting! Two of my poems received nominations and though I’m not expecting to win anything, it was nice just to get nominated. |
| I feel like shit. I really do. I wish I could go back in time. I know I was struggling a few months ago but at least then I felt physically fine. Well, more than fine—I felt fantastic physically. Now I am just completely drained. I feel mentally and physically destroyed. I cannot cope with feeling like this. My fitness means everything to me and now I’m losing it and I just don’t have the energy to fight for it. I want to die. I wish I had the courage to end everything but I don’t. So I’m just moaning in my blog as usual. |
| I’ve woken up a whole hour earlier than I would have liked to, which is annoying. My dog wanted to go out, which is fair enough, but now she has been out, she’s being an absolute pain in the arse so I can’t go back to bed! She briefly came back in my room and immediately jumped on my bed, even though I told her not to and got mud all over the sheet. I got her off, might have shouted a little and changed the sheet. Now, even though I've given her a hug to apologise for the shouting, she won’t come back in my room but prefers to wait out on the landing, occasionally crying and occasionally scratching on my brother’s door. Grrrr, now I can hear her licking her paw, which is hurt and we’ve been told by the vet not to let her lick it! I just opened my door again and asked her if she wants to come back in but she moved to the top of the stairs and gave me such a look! I don’t know what the hell she wants. I do know that she’s driving me mad though! I also know if I try to get any more sleep, as soon as I drift off, she’ll come and scratch at my door! Anyway, at least it has given me an opportunity to blog about some good stuff. Thanks to my wonderful boyfriend, Mark C ~ 9 years on WDC!  , my blog now has a pretty ribbon attached to it! Look!   He also awarded one of my new poems:
Yay! So I’m going to focus on that and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to refrain from murdering my dog. |
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