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 |   My journey through (and beyond) the valley with Cancer as my companion. |
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Dear Friend: This is not a Blog about writing! (I already have one of those.) This is a blog about a journey I am taking with illness. I have recently been diagnosed with Cancer. My goal is honest therapy as I progress through, and beyond this new reality in my life. I hope that, somewhere along the way you will find some words that will help you too. While this is, in fact, an interactive Blog, I hope that you will scroll slowly down this page. For you see, the front of this Blog IS my journey. The entries are conversations that are held along the journey.Yes, there is a lot on it--before actually getting to the Blog entries. But, I hope that by the objects and words which appear before the Blog itself, you might come to understand just a little bit about me, and my journey, and some truly amazing friends who have agreed to journey with me. I hope that you, too, will choose to accompany me on my walk--through the Valley. I invite you to join me, and discover the wondrous truths, meet some truly amazing people, and share those "memorable" moments this journey will undoubtedly present. Come along, won't you? In His Care, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Would you like to help me help others? I found this amazing organization, and I am proud to be a sponsor. I hope you will check it out. It's called The Network For Good.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "RISUS OMNIA - INCRUMENTUS PER DEDECUS - SAPIENTIA PER DAMNUM" ("Every thing is funny - Growth through humiliation - Wisdom through loss") ~Leunig~ The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. ~Helen Keller~ "If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people." ~Virginia Woolf~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "There is strength in truth." ~The Barton Family Crest~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” — Helen Keller, American social activist, public speaker and author (1880-1968) I have moved the list of my thanks for those who have helped to make this little Blog so very special. I hope that you will take a moment to read the list, growing every day, and let these fellow travellers along this journey know that you appreciate the contributions they make to our walk together.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please feel free to click on the Blog Rings icon below to be transported to some of the very best of the Best Bloggers around WDC. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If you are new to WDC, or to our Blogging community, I highly recommend the monthly edition of "The Blogville News". Feel free to click below, and let scarlett_o_h know that a Blogger sent ya! Hey! We've started a Christian's Blog Ring on WDC. Click on the logo, and join us! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Budroe
 Ring LeaderI have three publications at the moment. Here is a link to purchase my latest one. Buy a great read, and help a fellow writer out, Okay?  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I am a man who seeks desperately to find good in the bad things of life. Only two days ago, one of our community's most treasured Institutions suffered the worst atrocity of its kind in the entire history of America. What good can come from that? What can I do? The answer has been forming itself now for more than one week--even before this tragedy occurred. I tend to take things like that as a definite indication for what my actions in this life should be. So, it made sense for me to participate again, as an Instructor of students. 32 Students lost their lives while doing nothing more than pursuing an education. This is an action on my part, for them and for the Instructors who, today, all across this Nation are standing in stunned silence. I would, personally, hope that 32 readers of these words would follow the lead, and become actively involved in an amazing educational opportunity right here at WDC. If you are one of those, I hope you will respond to this entry, and let those hundreds of friends along this journey know that you have made it your personal business to take a stand FOR education--even your own. You can re-kindle an extinguished flame by your personal decision to stand in their stead. How much more personal, and personally satisfying could it possibly be? If you respond to this personal challenge, I'll pay your first year's tuition. Just let me know, and tell me why. I'd like to tell you why i make this offer. I have been working this week. I was asked to be an Instructor for the A-1 Academy. I, after my "mandatory" 24 hour waiting period for reflection, prayer, and buyer's remorse, agreed to take the position. Since that time, I have been becoming familiar with the "back office" operations of this unique WDC opportunity. I have been enrolled in David E. Navarro  Advanced Writing Class for some time. I became somewhat familiar with the process of "being a student". The course is very challenging to me, but fits precisely with what I hope to accomplish. From the time I was asked to today, I have become involved with two established classes, and have enrolled in another (two classes now, as a student!). I am also developing curriculum for the third class. The A-1 Academy is made available to every member of WDC, from free memberships to the Enterprise memberships. Everyone has an opportunity to take advantage of this incredible resource within our community. To find it, just click below:
As a relative "newbie" to WDC, I found A-1 Academy to be, among the many opportunities available to our community, a completely top-notch operation. The staff has been completely friendly, available, and accomodating. My experience as a student was the final deciding point for my acceptance as an Instructor. The Academy is celebrating it's first Birth Day this month. Over 400 of our members belong to this group, making it one of the largest "groups" in our entire community. The vision of the Academy's Founder, Deborah Owen , with only one other community member last April has flourished. The Academy is well into it's next "growth" phase, and has several new classes in development. I am astounded by the quality of the lessons, the Instructors, the students, and especially the Staff of this Shining Star in the WDC Galaxy. I am profoundly grateful to Deborah Owen for the kind invitation. I do hope I never give her any reason to regret having made it.I want to highly recommend this amazing opportunity to you. I have found vital information in the "WDC Computer 101" class, with cnoto being a knowledgeable, informed, and very friendly Instructor. The course concentrates on those things computer related within the WDC Community. (No HTML classes--yet!) I hope that I can, in time, be as effective at my task as she is at hers. She is also the Administrator of the A-1 Academy. Deborah has moved into the personnel and development areas, and seems to have found a fresh breath of vigor! Believe me, she can leave a mere mortal in the dirt! There is a Poetry Division. There is a Prose Division. There is a Young Writer's Division. There are resources, available to students of the Academy. There are resources and activities available to the entire WDC Community! I came to WDC because I wanted to become a better writer. I wanted to be among writers. I have not been disappointed. But, with the A-1 Academy, my first goal has been an on-going journey that is only now showing the first signs of promise. If you are not a part of this activity, you very definitely should be. If you are a member of A-1 Academy, please share your experiences here, or link to a response in your own Blog or Static Item. These self-paced courses are generally set as 12 week encounters. Some of them are quite intense. Some of them are just plain fun. I know nothing about Poetry. I want to learn. I hope to enroll for the Beginning Poetry class at some point in the near future. Why? Because, as I was surprised to discover, I can. So can you. I hope you will--today! In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** April 16th, 2007 Ross Abdallah Alameddine, 20 Christopher James Bishop, 35 Brian Bluhm, 25 Ryan Clark, 22 Austin Cloyd, 18 Jocelyne Couture-Nowak Daniel Perez Cueva, 21 Kevin Granata, 46 Mathew Gregory Gwaltney, 24 Caitlin Hammaren, 19 Jeremy Herbstritt, 27 Rachael Elizabeth Hill, 18 Emily Jane Hilscher, 19 Jarrett Lane, 22 Matt La Porte Henry J. Lee Liviu Librescu, 76 G.V. Loganathan, 51 Partahi Lumbantoruan,34 Lauren McCain, 20 Daniel O'Neil, 22 Juan Ortiz, 26 Minal Panchal, 26 Erin Peterson, 18 Michael Pohle, 23 Julia Pryde, 23 Mary Karen Read, 19 Reema Samaha, 18 Waleed Mohammed Shaalan, 32 Leslie Sherman Maxine Turner Nicole White, 20 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** These words are not mine. I wish they were. They are elegantly penned by Kathy Cauthon, a name many of the friends along my journey will immediately recognize. Kathy is a Cancer Survivor who, along with her husband Roger Cauthon (also a Cancer Survivor), have established a website for, by, and about Cancer Survivors. It is located at http://www.thecancercrusade.com. This is their memorial to those slain. It is re-printed here, with their permission and sincerest hopes that these words will help us all heal from this tragedy. It is their gift to me. It is my gift to you. "It never fails. Just when I'm starting to experience the self-pity and anxiety that always accompany my semi-annual visit to the oncologist, I get a heart- crushing dose of reality that reminds me to thank God for every breath I take. Governor Tim Kaine has declared that today is a statewide day of mourning here in Virginia. We know that the nation and the world grieve with us the loss of thirty-two innocent, precious lives during Monday's horrific shooting rampage at Virginia Tech. We have many friends who are Tech alumni, and many who have children and grandchildren at VT. We are only just now beginning to learn of connections between some of our friends and family members and some of the murdered and injured students. Those of us who battle cancer are usually so focused on that disease that we are startled - perhaps more than most - by news of other tragedies. It's as if we have come to believe that a diagnosis of cancer is the absolute worst hand that one can be dealt, as if we think there couldn't possibly be anything worse. Then a shocking accident or something evil rocks the world, and we are stunned, shattered and - in my case - more than a little ashamed. As heartbreaking as these days are, and as unspeakably agonizing for the families and friends of those who were killed, these terrible losses can - given time and care and thoughtful reflection - serve to remind us that our mortality is not a burden we must bear or a punishment we must live our lives dreading. Our mortality is, in fact, a gift, for if we were immortal, if we knew we would never die, our lives would have no meaning. Instead, in the years to come, the friends and families affected by these senseless deaths will celebrate the lives of their loved ones in ways that will share the meaning of their lives with others. Perhaps one student's parents will start a foundation in her memory to aid other grieving parents or raise funds to build a new wing on the hospital where medical professionals fought to save the lives of the injured. Maybe a sibling will form a support group for the brothers and sisters of those who died. Perhaps a student whose life was saved by his professor will be inspired to become a teacher. Some of the students might create a meditation garden on the university campus, a place of peace and thanksgiving where all can find comfort and solitude. The students who lost friends and the families of those who died will in time find profound and creative ways to memorialize them, and they will amaze us all with actions and decisions that will change the world for the better. Those of us who grieve can and must find purpose and meaning in our grief while honoring those we have lost. And all of us must find a way to throw off denial and fear and to overcome the taboo subject of our own mortality, for it is only when we acknowledge and make peace with death that we can truly embrace life, live with intention, breathe out the fear, anger and bitterness that stifle and sicken us, and breathe in peace, gratitude and joy." The following was written and read by Poet Emeritus and Distinguished Professor of English Nikki Giovanni at the convocation held the day following the tragedy at Virginia Tech: We Are Virginia Tech We are Virginia Tech We are sad today And we will be sad for quite a while We are not moving on We are embracing our mourning We are Virginia Tech We are strong enough to stand tall tearlessly We are brave enough to bend to cry ... And sad enough to know we must laugh again We are Virginia Tech We do not understand this tragedy We know we did nothing to deserve it But neither does a child in Africa dying of aids Neither do the invisible children walking the night away to avoid being captured by a rogue army Neither does the baby elephant watching his community being devastated for ivory Neither does the Mexican child looking for fresh water Neither does the Appalachian infant killed in the middle of night in his crib in the home its father built with his own hands being run over by a boulder because the land was destablized No one deserves a tragedy We are Virginia Tech The Hokie nation embraces our own and reaches out with open heart and hands to those who offer their hearts and minds We are strong and brave and innocent and unafraid We are better than we think and not quite what we want to be We are alive to the imagination and the possibility We will continue to invent the future Through our blood and tears Through all this sadness We are the Hokies We will prevail We will prevail We will prevail We are Virginia Tech ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Now Heaven knows what it means to be a Hokie" |
| Unlike most of the human race, I did not hear of the tragedy at Virginia Technical Institute until this evening's late news. I have spent the day working to set up classes for our own A-1 Academy. I worked with my Senior Editor today--on her taxes! (Ya gotta make points where you can!) I am pleased to announce (and overwhelmingly relieved) that she will be getting a refund from our Federal and State governments. Today was also the 9th birthday of my friend Tom's youngest son, T.J. (What else?!) My week is surely full. I have three different classes to get lined out. I will be doing late-chapter edit revisions with my Senior Editor--with hopes of completing the work this week. If we do, the book will release this year, probably in the Fall. That would be a very good thing. What would be even better would be for the second book to be right behind it! (Hey, I can still dream, anyway!0 In the last thirty or so minutes, my mind has been living a flashback. As I know some of the friends of this little Blog can attest, flashbacks can be a very unpleasant moment in a human life. Eight years ago this week, I listened to reports of students dying in my old neighborhood. The shiny new High School, the pride of our community, had become a killing field. My friends lost children. Former children who had been my students were dead. A friend and colleague was murdered. A community was shaken to its core as death was unleashed in an indiscriminant fury. Eight years later, I was suddenly transported back to a community of distraught parents, terrified students, and an unrelenting anger within me as I tried to deal with the unanswered questions of that day. The questions still live within my mind, and probably will until I make it home. Tonight, the peaceful community, sheltered within the mountains of Southern Virginia, is torn asunder. Blacksburg, Virginia is a secluded, friendly, and simple town. It has a community of slow moving, easy-going genteel Southerners who quickly smile. They say "Hello!" to a stranger, although there are few strangers for long in Blacksburg. The men open doors for women, and you hear words like "Ma'am", or "Sir", or "Thank You!", or "Please?" at every turn. I have friends whose children are students at "Tech". I have friends employed by the Institute, two of whom are very, very busy Chaplains tonight. I spent a few moments just now speaking with one of them. I told him that I loved him. He asked me to pray for him, as he is only beginning a very long journey of loss, sadness,and tragedy. He asked me to pray for the victims, the injured, and the killer. He asked me to pray for the community, and the families of those who are, in many cases, still unaware that they have lost a loved one. 33 deaths (so far), including the gunman. Dozens injured, either from gunshots or, as one student explained, by jumping from classroom windows. In one classroom, 15 students jumped to safety with several of them being critically injured. One student who survived today's melee only because she jumped from a classroom window, now is fighting for her life with a broken back, and multiple internal injuries. Another jumping survivor lives tonight, but will be fighting for months to recover from two broken legs, and his inability to feel anything below his waist. For them, however, it was simple: jump or die. Five of their fellow classmates, with them in the classroom before they jumped, were slaughtered before they could make it to safety. Tonight, the media is waging a full-scale assault on the campus. Questions are flying, from one end of the Campus to the other. Students are doing what good students always do: they are holding each other. They are, together, praying. They are, in stunned shock, realizing that their lives have changed forever. Instinctively, they are reaching out. Perhaps they are reaching out to someone in worse condition than they. Perhaps they are reaching out for help from a friend. But, they are reaching out. Like Columbine's greatest lesson, these students, Instructors, and Institute officials are reaching out to a world who shares their grief, and their anger, and their sense of hopelessness. Congress remembered them, and the President spoke of hope, and prayer. It is the reaching out that I most clearly remember from those dark days eight years ago. It is the reaching out that helped lost children find family, and friends, and hope. It is, even now, the reaching out that makes this terrible tragedy survivable. Perhaps it is the reaching out that makes us Americans. But, in truth, in the greatest of all things, it is the reaching out that makes us humans. Like it or not, that sometimes just has to be enough. I do truly hope so. Really, I really do hope so. In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
| I must admit to enjoining one of my most favorite activities today. I have been writing curriculumm. I have only written only one small (1,500 words) part of a lesson / assignment, but I am just totally charged up! How charged, you ask? Well, with my new stove/oven combo working to the dizzying heights of perfection that only Whirlpool is known for, I have eaten three hot and completely enjoyable home-made meals today. I have consumed two entire pots of fresh-ground coffee in the past 24 hours. I have slept approximately 7 hours--continuously, I might add. I have written approximately 3,000 new words. AND... I have not smoked so much as a single cigarette today. WAIT, NOW! Don't say it. My Doctor allowed me to come home for one primary, and one secondary reason, if you will recall. She also (as have others since) told me that, no matter what else I did, to not quit smoking. It was the only thing that was having any, and I will repeat ANY, positive effect on my Primary problem of Pulmonary Hypertension. Remember the lungs "of an 18 year-old"? It has been a stress-filled day at Chateau de Budroe, to be sure. Of all the known effects, for some strange reason, it is always the incredible headaches that accompany the first 72 hours of smoking cessation that just slam me into the dirt. I have them now. Yes, the PHT is up, significantly. No, the headaches are not directly related to the PHT. Yes, the Tinnitus is so loud I cannot hear my fingers moving on the keyboard. No, (and Thank you for asking) I have not coughed NEARLY as much today as the previous three days. I'm hoping for a 72 (at least) hour smoke free environment to get a grip on my lungs, get them cleaned out a bit, and enjoy at least one night with minimal awakening due to hacking. The entire point is: I don't know. I need to find out what is what, and what is coming from where. It's Medical Research at this point. I feel like kaka right now, I can definitely report that. I have upped my anti-anxiety pill by 1/2, and increased my night sleep meds by 1, to 2. Alcohol intake today: 0. Cigarette/Tobacco intake today: 0. My friend Tom hasn't smoked, so far as I know, since coming home from the hospital. He was painfully disappointed in his wife. She swore to quit last Sunday (Easter). She wanted to very badly. She didn't clear the Calendar on Sunday. I tried to explain to her that, in my case, quitting simply was NOT an option. Even if I wanted to (which I don't), I would have to be delivered from Smoking! She was all draggin' her chin in the dirt all week. Tom wasn't (so far as I know, anyway.) giving her a bit of guff about it--he just wasn't smokin' any. For me, it has been 24 hours. I'm terribly grumpy. I've eaten like an equine on steroids. I'm dizzy. I have a terrible headache. My chest is killing me, and I feel completely smothered. If you ever have any doubts about how smoking cessation is, and you have never smoked tobacco...I have a way for you to experience personally this particular dilemma. Just pull your lower lip over the back of your head, and then repeat the alphabet--backwards. When all of those things are done correctly, you will have accomplished the equivalent of one hour without a cigarette. My Doc tells me not to quit. I was smoking 1.5 pack/day when I was8 years old. Oh, don't look like I've been abused! In my day, that's what good sons of tobacco farmers did in the Commonwealth! You know it. I've never had a bad cigarette. I have quit several times--one time for over 8 years. When my wife got sick, the best I could do was to promise her she would never see me smoke again. She didn't. I'm feelin' pretty miserable at the moment. Physically, and mentally, things are all gommed up inside my head. I hope it will be better soon. I have begun the curriculum for a new class which I will be teaching over at A-1. (Yes, shameless plug and curriculum-pimping going on now.) For those of you who are familiar with the educational process, I hope you would take a moment to realize that this course (like every other course at A-1) is written by its Instructor! Of course, each lesson, plan, and post is very closely vetted by the coordinators and admins of the Academy, for content, context, and continuity with the other courses of the Academy. That is just pretty amazing, to those of us used to creating texts to a pre-concieved set of rules and/or principles which must be adhered to. Here, the door is wide open, the range is free, and the distance is endless! How cool is that? It's a lot of fun being able to write lesson plans based upon what YOUR life has taught you. It's sort of like not smoking for a day: You will be endlessly surprised by the things you have learned--that matter--just when the very last thing you wanted was to be learning anything at all. In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
Today is Kenzie's 55th Birth Day! I hope that, if you haven't gone over and left her at LEAST three messages at the party, you will hustle on over and do so--forthwith.
Now, the fortunate thing about all this is that a few (as in three) co-conspirators did a fair job at keeping the party quiet. We did not, however, count on the enthusiasm of one good hearted soul who just wanted to let everybody know about the party! The Muse was amused. I, on the other hand, was, umm...shall we say less so? Then! Come to find out the jig had been elevated well before that even happened! And, we thought we were sooo cool! I'm sittin' here laughin'. Do you have any idea how long it took me to realize that Mods can view restricted items? AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH! As my pal debsey loves to remind me upon occasion: Ima Dork! I have been having a spot of trouble with the sleepin' at night, ya see. The biology is all outa whack. The clock has malfunctioned. The Circadian Rhythm has missed a beat, skipped a groove, and suddenly believes I live in Warsaw--er sumthin' like dat! Today, my friend Tom's MIL came over with some important news she had just heard on CNN. It seems they did a story advising people NEVER to ignore trouble sleepin' when you feel your chest is heavy, or if you are feeling smothered. She wanted me to go with her to the Hospital-place-thingey and get looked at. I explained to her that my medical care team is aware of the situation, and are doing what can be done at the moment. We are trying a couple of new meds that should help (allegedly, but you couldn't prove it by me!) the situation. It's a very fragile balance, you know. On this journey, meds can help you or they can seriously hurt you. As a general rule, the more "systemic" a medication is, the more carefully you must monitor it. Right now, the popular thinking is centered around stress as the primary cause of the sleeping difficulty. Gee, ya think?? You know of course some Doc-cicle is gonna send me an astronomical bill for that consult! Yeah, well, into the pile with the rest of 'em. Friday the 13th, believe it or don't, has always been my most lucky day! I am "of the Hill people", so superstition courses through my veins (when not obstructed, of course) like taking a practice lap on a NASCAR track! I avoid wandering and/or meandering Black Cats. I throw salt over my Left Shoulder. I don't walk under ladders, or open umbrellas indoors, or break mirrors (which is why I NEVER know what my face looks like!) either. I always say "God Bless You!" when I hear someone sneeze. I avoid, passionately, cracks in sidewalks. I do (or don't do) these things as naturally as telling you my name. Triskaidekaphobia, however, has never been a problem for me. That's the fear of the number 13, y'all. They even gots a name for folks who are superstitious about Friday, the 13th. It's called (Ya ready?): paraskavedekatriaphobia, or even better, friggatriskaidekaphobia. I've known the second one forever, but just learned the first one today. Okay, so y'all think I'm making this up, dontcha!! Well, check me out! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triskaidekaphobia You'll find some really amazing stuff about this fear on that site. I'd tell ya, but I want you to see it for yourself. I mean, you already are thinking I'm outa my mind, makin' up words like that one word up there: friggatriskaidekaphobia. Man, I gotta tell ya. I really DO like that word. Did you know, for instance, that there is no Row 13 in a commercial airliner? I knew that part about Shoenberg, because he is one of my favorite musical composers. I'm actually his "Grandson". My teacher was his student, soo.... yes, that's really the way musicians relate to one another. Example: My teacher also taught Judy Collins. Ergo, we are siblings! And, you just thought I was another purty face! HA! I am waiting, since 0800 this morning, on the arrival, installation, and breaking in of my new...stove! My old one gave out, as luck (soda speak) would have it, on Holy Saturday. I'm gettin' way tired of the microwave! I have a Turkey Breast thawing in the 'fridge, and I'm gonna cook that sucker! Cannibalism, me eye! (But then, come to think of it, that WOULD be, wouldn't it?) Yeah, they are gonna be here at 0800 this morning! Uh huh. I wonder which YEAR they were referring to?! But, I'm really excited about the notion of having something new to play with for a while! It may take my mind off sleeping, or stress, or stuff. We have agreed to begin the A-1 Course on May 6th. The first in a series will be an introductory course on Mystery Writing. Everybody over at A-1 has really been super nice to me so far. For some reason, I got this line runnin' through my brain, from Batman. Remember when Nicholson says: "Wait'll they get a load of ME!!" ? Yeah, that one. Now, y'all, I need some pidgeo....umm, I mean some guinea pi....well victi....I need some of y'all to sign up, and help me make this course a good one! I trust you guys to tell me true. So, on this most especial day, I want you to remember this stuff. Yes, there WILL be a test later. But, just for right now, there is only one thing I can think of that will get that stoopid appliance to my door. I'm gonna go take me a nap! In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
| I made my Blogroll all black today. YAY! Hey, sometimes it is a good thing to achieve even minimal goals, don't you think? When life gets tough, making a small goal can be a very big thing. I know that in my world today, it is, and it has been. Sometimes, it amazes me how people respond. That goes for both positive and negative reactions, actually. The kindness of people will stun ya. I wish I were twenty-five years younger today, with all the vaunted wisdom I have *cough* in reserve today. I wonder if it would be easier, or better. I truly doubt it, because it would still be me dealing with it. Yes, that is a statement of limitation. But, it is a statement of reality, as well. I am on the borderlines of a pure, all out panic. Even as I fully comprehend the reasons for it, there are some friends who stand amazed that this meltdown hasn't occurred months ago. I'm not going to bore you with the particulars. Let's just say that things ain't so great these days around Chateau de Budroe. The forecast is for very stormy weather ahead. Healthwise, things are status quo. I got a call from Dudette's office yesterday reminding me that I had an appointment scheduled with her at 2:15 PM this afternoon. I reminded them of a really terse letter I recieved some time ago from Dudette, informing me that I had been "terminated from their practice". Now, I gotta tellya. Getting a letter like that from your Physician will definitey get your attention. Because I had followed her advice, and went to the local community "free" clinic for my prescriptions to be refilled at almost no charge (saving me over $200 the last visit), she told me I should go there for my healthcare followup as well. Sour grapes? Yeah, probably. So, I gottem belly buckon. Sue me, already. The office gal called me back a few minutes later, agreed with me, and apologized for the call. I was glad to help, honey. Any time, any time at all! The never-ending stalemate with Social Security seems to be heading full-tilt into the second inning. A call a week ago informed me that they were fully prepared to approve my Disability. They were simply waiting on a Pathology report from one source that I have never heard of. They were just letting me know that they hadn't forgotten me. You gotta know how much I felt the love. I have been asked, and have accepted the invitation, to serve A-1 as an Instructor. Am I completely, totally crazy stupid nuts? Well, we will see. I look forward (with great trepidation) to the opportunity to share what little knowledge I may have to the WDC community. It is, more than anything else, an opportunity to give back just a little for what I have been so selflessly given by others. That is sufficient reason to leap from the precipice. At least I will get a good view, whistling as I plummet! I will give you updates on that as they (if they) develop. I am still of the belief that Ms. Deb may yet awaken from her obviously fever-induced haze. I got a nasty gram today. It alleged that I made a mistake. I apologized. I also sent the NG, and my response, to SM. It was a serious allegation. It's been bitin' my butt all day long. After several hours (yes, when things bite my butt, I do tend to get all compulsive about it!) of intense research, I have determined that it was not me that made the original mistake! To his credit, SM gave me a stern look, and a gentle reminder. I have already spent entirely too much time trying to figure this little puzzle's conclusion. I just don't know whether or not to announce the solution to the offended party and SM, or let it go. It's just like standing at a bus stop. You know the bus is due in five minutes, but you really have to use the bathroom. What do you do? Grrrrrr. Other than that, I'm having a lot of fun online. Both here, and at several other sites, things are going. Man, if these were only billable hours. How does a writer go about getting paid for unauthorized research, anyway? Huh? Thanks to all who have been supportive and encouraging these past few days. You have helped much. Smile, and know that you have done, and continue to do, a very good thing! In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
| I personally have held, for several decades now, that Don Imus is an idiot. I find no redeeming social value in his contribution to the airwaves. After his latest idiot moment, it would seem that several persons and institutions of note agree with me. CBS Radio has suspended Imus for two weeks, without pay. His future on their radio program is under consideration. His future is by no means secure with the Columbia Broadcasting Company. In addition, MSNBC today announced that their relationship with Mr. Imus has been terminated, effectively immediately. Both MSNBC and CBS report advertisers pulling their dollars at near-torrential rates over the past two days. Meanwhile, the Athletic Director, Coach, and players of the Rutgers Women's Basketball team have agreed to give Imus an opportunity to speak with them. They "want to hear what he has to say". These are the same persons who, just yesterday were crying not only "Foul", but also "deep personal mental injury". Imus is scheduled to speak with these folks in a few days. The Reverend Al Sharpton, and the Reverend Jesse Jackson, and countless others, have had quite a bit to say lately about this particular incident. In my personal opinion, they have not helped their cause in the process. First, Rev. Sharpton indicated that he felt that Imus should apologize for his off-hand comments. Not only did Imus immediately agree to apologize, but he further agreed to do so on Sharpton's radio program, in person. This seemed to take the entire "other side" of the Imus conflab by surprise. Once Imus had apologized, on air, to Sharpton, the team, and anyone who had been negatively impacted by his incredible comments, Sharpton suddenly decided he was not satisfied. He wanted blood. Well, at least that's what Reverend Sharpton SAID he wanted. I suspect that the good Reverend saw something just over the horizon that he wanted much, much more. Hang with me here a minute. It does make sense. Today, as well, the Special Prosecutor who has spent the past few months re-assessing the body of accumulated evidence against the three members of the Duke LaCrosse Team who were charged with rape made his final determination. He determined that there was not and, in fact, had never been sufficient evidence to bring the matter to a Grand Jury, much less institute formal court proceedings against the young men. The alleged victim, he said was "entirely without credibility, from the first words out of her mouth". An entire collegiate sport was besmirched. An entire team was castigated from competition, and it's entire history was yielded null and void. This all because of the words of one person. And, the victim? She is currently seeking representation (although no one in the tri-state region seems interested) for a possible civil action, a la "Goldman" against the University, the Coach, the Team, the three young men originally arrested, charged, incarcerated, and tried in court--as well as the team's groundskeeper (if sufficient assets can be found)! The Special Prosecutor has nothing to offer the three young men, the team, or the University except an apology. "I'm sincerely sorry this unfortunate event ever occurred." It seems, to me, to be just a bit lacking. The accused simply wish to resume their lives, and perhaps even get that Diploma they were denied last May. This all because of the unfortunate choice of words by one person. She seems to be very interested in some sort of high-dollar settlement. In her own words, and by her own admission, that has been her target since the entire incident occurred. The United States Government has suddenly gotten interested in the Sub-Prime Mortgage Market. The amazing number of foreclosures (23%) in the past 18 months has gotten everybody in a snit. These loans, offered to persons with less-than-sterling credit, begin with very small monthly payments. Over the course of the first 18 months of these loans, however, the average payment increases some 40%. Yes, this was a program instituted by the U S Government to build up the housing market, allowing for a previously unknown surge in new home construction loans to developers and builders. Oops. Now, there are two failing markets which the Government must now admit it cannot support. New home builds are at a 7-year low. There are currently over 4,000,000 homes sitting in the US--unsold. The average age of this inventory? 26 years old. According to the chief economist for Visa, these are the two prime indicators of the status of the economy. He said recently that we should expect a "tough" economic condition for the next 18 months--at least. The number one reason for foreclosure to these particular loans? Unemployment. Not long-term unemployment, mind you. New unemployment, in the middle class sector across the country. The expectations for this market are that the conditions will get much worse before they get better. Why? Because the money has dried up. But, in a surprise move today, the United States Government announced that, effective immediately, ALL active duty soldiers in our military will automatically have their tours of duty in the Iraq/Afghanistan theatres involuntariy extended from 12 to 15 (and possibly 18) months, depending on MOS and needs of the Service. But, the Service Member will be paid an additonal $1,000.00 per month for the extended period. The first reports from the field indicate that the SM's are not even yet aware of this turn of events. Those interviewed today did not seem to be really happy with this idea. They felt as if perhaps someone had, I don't know, abused them in some way. When asked about the additional funds that would be coming to them, the SM's did not seem to consider that to be a fair trade for their time or, as one SM said, "my life". Do you see the connection between these four events? What does this say about us? What should we know from these things? One man says one sentence in, according to him, a comedy moment. One woman says one sentence, in the middle of an alcohol-induced state. One person struggles to provide a home for their family. One soldier tries to honor his country. Money stands directly opposite each, as if that is really the only thing that matters. How much damage has each situation caused? What apology IS sufficient? What payment IS enough? What is the BEST outcome for each situation? I think it is time we do some serious thinking about who, what, and why we are. What do you think? In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
| Every once in a while I receive forwarded eMails. Do you? More importantly, do you send them? Sometimes, I do forward them to people that I believe haven't seen them that would appreciate them. I do not do this nearly as often as I receive them. I have a friend who does not like to receive them--I presume from anyone. I do know he doesn't appreciate them at all when they come from me. He reads this Blog regularly, as does his wife. He will know who I am talking about when I tell you that he really does not like receiving "Funny Grams", or other forwarded eMails from me. By now, you have probably got some wierd itch on the tips of your fingers. You are chomping at the bit to tell me your thoughts on these eMails. Before you do, I would like to explain something to you. The people who receive these "Funny Grams" from me are people whom I specificially select to receive them. I believe that I know the sense of humor these folks have. I truly believe they will appreciate having received them. I also believe they will appreciate receiving them from me. It is true that these are not original writing creations on my part. But it is my time which creates the forward. It is my mind that chooses who will receive them. And, I believe, most importantly it is my heart which wishes to connect with these people. I do not send forwarded eMails indiscriminantly. To me, these eMails are a point of connection with those people that I select to receive them. To me, more than what I send, it is that I am sending them that makes a difference. "Why did you send this to me?" Good question. How many times have you said that? What do you think is the answer? For me, the answer is simple. I sent it to you because, of all the people I could have connected with today, you were tops on my list. You are the same people that I write to here in this Blog, as well. Nearly every day, I have the opportunity to share my life, my living, and my world with you. On the rare occasion, something comes into my world through my mailbox that makes me think of your humor, or your laugh, or the memory of a shared moment in our life relationship. When that happens, I will most probably forward it to you in an eMail. That, to me, is the nexus of the message you are receiving from me in that "Funny Gram". I don't even particularly care if what I send you is ever read, or laughed at, or forwarded on to those very same people who cause you to feel about them in the same way I feel towards you. But, don't lose the message. It's just me, wanting to connect with you--even if only for a moment. No, in fact, I do not have a mentally challenged Monkey who will readily presses the "Forward" button for nothing more than a snack. Yes, there really IS something I want you to understand from the fact that I have forwarded an eMail to you. It is a gift of myself, just to you. It may not be the kind of eMail you would prefer. It may not have the kind of message you would like most to see. It may not even have any merit whatsoever where your "Funny Bone" is concerned. But, it is real. It is from me, and it is addressed to one of the most important people in my entire world. I do not want to have to think twice about having the message lost for no reason other than the way it was sent. And, before you lay down covering fire, because you have received a forwarded eMail from me, at least do me the favor of remembering why it is that you are receiving something--anything--from me in the first place. If you seriously want so desperately to hear original words for me, send me a personal eMail with your original words contained within. My forwarded eMail does count as a communication to you, just from me. At the moment you realize that, it would seem to me that whatever is within it takes a back seat in importance. At least I would hope so. Otherwise, it's just another bothersome junk email. And there is just nothing funny at all about that. Okay, let those fingers fly! In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
| Over the course of the last 26 or so years, this day has always been worth waiting for. With the requirements of duty complete, and the Easter Holidays past, this day has always signalled the first day of a two-week vacation for me. Man, how I wish that could be true again! Trips to Europe, Russia, Australia, Japan, and especially Hawaii have been featured in these times--past. Because of circumstances, and because of certain imposed limitations, I cannot travel or even experience the luxury of vacating at the moment. But I am winding down, nonetheless. It may not qualify as an official "vacation", but I'm gonna milk it for as long as I possibly can. In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
| Matthew 28:6 The sadness of Thursday past, with it's confusion, fear, and anxieties, have had me awash in feelings I can barely explain. Through the night, the most unimaginable things happened. Then came Friday. For an entire lifetime, I would not have imagined such a thing possible. My Lord was crucified! Crucified! He, the very Lamb of God, was crucified by those He came to save! The Veil of the Temple was rent. The Earth darkened. They took him, the Savior of the World, to a borrowed grave! The grief and the sadness had given way to fear, doubt, and disbelief. The Disciples fear now--for their lives! They have scattered; hidden for fear of death. How can this be? In their desperation, they have come to realize that their lives must now become as they once were. The promises were lies. The hopes were useless. He is dead! He was, but a man. Then came that terrible, awful Saturday. Numb from the experiences, all who knew and loved Jesus wept. His mother was too overcome with grief to prepare him properly for burial. There were guards at his tomb! The Jewish leaders had required it, and the Romans had endorsed it. The thundering silence of that grave was heard throughout Jerusalem. It was heard, too, in the heart of every believer. It was felt with a pain beyond measure or description. Silence was it's only testimony. A few whispered words shared between friends who could not remember such a time as this--ever! What did it mean? How could it be? But then...came Sunday! On this day so very long ago, the one word which shook the Universe was quietly spoken into the broken heart of a grieving mother:"Mary!" The tomb was empty. The stone was rolled away! And, the promise was fulfilled! Behold! The Lamb of God (Kirk Franklin) Chorus Now behold the Lamb the Precious Lamb of God born into sin that I may live again the Precious Lamb of God (2x) Holy is the Lamb the Precious Lamb of God Why You love me so, Lord I shall never know the Precious lamb of God (2X) Solo1 Now behold the Lamb the Precious Lamb of God Born into sin that I may live again He's the precious Lamb of God When I always didn't do right I went left, He told me to go right But I'm standing right here in the midst of my tears, Lord I claim You to be the Lamb of God chorus Thank You for the Lamb the Precious Lamb of God Because of Your grace I can finish this race the Precious Lamb of God solo2 Even when I broke Your heart my sins tore us apart But I'm standing right here in the midst of my tears I claim You to be the Lamb of God New life can begin (yeah), for You washed away, washed away every one of my sins Whom the Son sets free, is truly free indeed claim You to be the Lamb of God chorus Now behold the Lamb the Precious Lamb of God born into sin that I may live again the Precious Lamb of God Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Why You love me so, Lord I shall never know Why You love me so, Lord I shall never know Why You love me so, Lord I shall never know the Precious Lamb of God Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Why You love me so, Lord I shall never know the Precious Lamb of God uh.... uh....oh.... You love me, Jesus You died for me, Jesus You shed your blood for me, Jesus On Calvary. Thank you for Being Born For Me, Jesus Thank you Jesus For lovin' me so Never never never know For lovin' me so yeah. Thank you for your blood yeah... Why you love me so, Lord I shall never know the Precious Lamb of God He is RISEN! He is risen, Indeed! Alleluia! The Easter Hymn: Christ the Lord is Risen Christ, the Lord, is risen today, Alleluia! Sons of men and angels say, Alleluia! Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluia! Sing, ye heavens, and earth, reply, Alleluia! Love’s redeeming work is done, Alleluia! Fought the fight, the battle won, Alleluia! Lo! the Sun’s eclipse is over, Alleluia! Lo! He sets in blood no more, Alleluia! Vain the stone, the watch, the seal, Alleluia! Christ hath burst the gates of hell, Alleluia! Death in vain forbids His rise, Alleluia! Christ hath opened paradise, Alleluia! Lives again our glorious King, Alleluia! Where, O death, is now thy sting? Alleluia! Once He died our souls to save, Alleluia! Where thy victory, O grave? Alleluia! Soar we now where Christ hath led, Alleluia! Following our exalted Head, Alleluia! Made like Him, like Him we rise, Alleluia! Ours the cross, the grave, the skies, Alleluia! Hail, the Lord of earth and heaven, Alleluia! Praise to Thee by both be given, Alleluia! Thee we greet triumphant now, Alleluia! Hail, the resurrection day, Alleluia! King of glory, Soul of bliss, Alleluia! Everlasting life is this, Alleluia! Thee to know, Thy power to prove, Alleluia! Thus to sing and thus to love, Alleluia! Charles Wesley 1707-1788 Christ Is Risen! He is Risen, Indeed! Alleluia! In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
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