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 |   My journey through (and beyond) the valley with Cancer as my companion. |
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Dear Friend: This is not a Blog about writing! (I already have one of those.) This is a blog about a journey I am taking with illness. I have recently been diagnosed with Cancer. My goal is honest therapy as I progress through, and beyond this new reality in my life. I hope that, somewhere along the way you will find some words that will help you too. While this is, in fact, an interactive Blog, I hope that you will scroll slowly down this page. For you see, the front of this Blog IS my journey. The entries are conversations that are held along the journey.Yes, there is a lot on it--before actually getting to the Blog entries. But, I hope that by the objects and words which appear before the Blog itself, you might come to understand just a little bit about me, and my journey, and some truly amazing friends who have agreed to journey with me. I hope that you, too, will choose to accompany me on my walk--through the Valley. I invite you to join me, and discover the wondrous truths, meet some truly amazing people, and share those "memorable" moments this journey will undoubtedly present. Come along, won't you? In His Care, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Would you like to help me help others? I found this amazing organization, and I am proud to be a sponsor. I hope you will check it out. It's called The Network For Good.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "RISUS OMNIA - INCRUMENTUS PER DEDECUS - SAPIENTIA PER DAMNUM" ("Every thing is funny - Growth through humiliation - Wisdom through loss") ~Leunig~ The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. ~Helen Keller~ "If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people." ~Virginia Woolf~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "There is strength in truth." ~The Barton Family Crest~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” — Helen Keller, American social activist, public speaker and author (1880-1968) I have moved the list of my thanks for those who have helped to make this little Blog so very special. I hope that you will take a moment to read the list, growing every day, and let these fellow travellers along this journey know that you appreciate the contributions they make to our walk together.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please feel free to click on the Blog Rings icon below to be transported to some of the very best of the Best Bloggers around WDC. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If you are new to WDC, or to our Blogging community, I highly recommend the monthly edition of "The Blogville News". Feel free to click below, and let scarlett_o_h know that a Blogger sent ya! Hey! We've started a Christian's Blog Ring on WDC. Click on the logo, and join us! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Budroe
 Ring LeaderI have three publications at the moment. Here is a link to purchase my latest one. Buy a great read, and help a fellow writer out, Okay?  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Well, today has had a dash of "quiet", and three (3) naps. What a way to wreck a day! But, man! Those naps are wondermous things, friends! "Just five minutes!" Yeah, uh huh. The last one was almost 5 hours! But, as I have recently been informed, it IS a federal holiday, after all. President's Day, they call it. I wonder what Mr. Truman is gonna say about THAT! I actually wonder which was the first President to have an email address. And, for the mind-bogglin' desert to THAT paticular entre, I wonder if the current President is allowed online...let it Bless yer Hearts! In other ramblings: Man, I'm sleepy. I feel like I could take a nap, er somethin'. <eyes bedroom...is that lust?> I had a first for my WDC membership today. There are many people who have joined WDC to have the opportunity to follow along on this journey. Many of those people are friends that I have known for many years. I know them. I have lived a portion of my life around them. Today, I had the privilege of speaking with a person on the phone that I have only met through my membership with WDC, itself. I had a very nice phone conversation with scribbler1962 today, on the phone. We have become friends through WDC, through the Blogs, and Forums, and other activities. It was a very nice telephone visit. It is very refreshing to talk to someone who is every bit as real in "person" as they are through their writing. It is not a surprise, but it is a nice realization. This guy has been one of my strongest "Cheerleaders" for my writing here--among many. He is as genuine as the day is long, and I just cannot tell you how that brings joy to my soul. In my line of work, you get the "opportunity" to meet some people who are anything but genuine. Even in those times when you immediately recognize those who are other than they wish to appear, and have the instinctive ability to handle it, it is nice not to have to--sometimes. It's nice to put a voice with some words. Of course, pressin' the flesh as you meet a new friend is always a really good thing, too. But, more on that another time. I have to make a quick run to my corner market (not!) that requires my immediate attention! Have a day! In His Care--and Yours, Budroe |
I have spent the past two days doing something that I really do not enjoy. And, to beat it all, it was writing. I just posted the second little talk in my "Pull Up A Stone" series. You can find it here:
There was a ton of editing in this piece, and I am still not entirely satisfied with the looks of it. I found out that a pretty good part of my discontent was the not just in the way the words were lined out. The majority of my discontent had to do with the words themselves. I hedged and I waffled. I don't DO waffle very well. Finally, I cut about 50% of the work. What I cut was easy to find, because it was every word I used to attempt to get around what is for me a rather uncomfortable truth. Of all the talks I have given, this one is among the most difficult. Even after delivering it in one form or another countless times, it still causes me stress and grief to consider the truth which lies within it. There is a lot of good, and a lot of hope that comes from it (after it!), so the only thing I know to do is to get it said, and get to work on the next little talk. I hope you will look at it, and let me know what you think. I will spend some more time this evening at least attempting to get caught up on reading Blogs, and paying visits to my Bloggin' buddies here in Blogville. It's really been a bit of a quiet week around the Blogs for me. Has it been for you, as well? I'm just checkin' to make sure I am not (or the only one) losing it! I got a comment on one of the questions in the Trivia Quiz. I know that there are other teachers out here in the electrons. I believe the question is a valid question. I even believe it is a good question. But, the question results in the correct answer only because of a double negative. The question asks "which one of the following is NOT".... Each of the options A-D IS. The correct answer is E, "None of the above". The reason I like the question is because it may inform some pretty nifty information that most would not know. This is the second comment I have gotten on the question. I wonder: when does an interesting question just become a bad question? I'm just wondering. I don't, as a teacher, much like tests that are more about taking tests than displaying the knowledge the questions ask for. But, this isn't school, and it IS a Challenge! <sigh> Any input? We got three inches of quiet here this weekend. It was cold enough to let it hang around--still. By mid-week, we are supposed to have a slight reprieve, with weather rising into the 50 degree range! I'm tryin' to get over the Flu, and Mother Nature is doin' climatological acrobatics! What a deal! Lots of medical stuff this next 9 days. I'll find out tomorrow the date for admission for the repeat Colonoscopy. I'll see a Physical Exam person for disability. I'll visit with the local folks for food stamps, MedicAid/MediCare, etc. I'll see Dudette regularly, with visits to the Hospital to add to Drac's vial collection. And, just like the top 100 on the hit parade, the bills just keep comin'. I'll let you know what I know, as I know it. I hope you have a legendary week this week. We have a lot of friends along this journey who have been either spotlighted or highlighted in this current week's editions of the Newletters! I hope you will visit their work, and let them know that you have stopped by. In the meantime, I just think I'm gonna chill. I have a problem that I do truly believe only Dr. Billy Bob can do justice. I may send it to him. I hope he can help! Well, at least he can't hurt! Much.In His Care, Budroe |
| Well, friends: It's been an extremely unproductive day here at Chateau de Budroe. And, believe it or not, that is just peachy with me! Overall, it has been a very productive week in my life, and on the journey. I am certain there will be more writing produced this weekend--or not. I do want to again thank all of those who have sent me the wonderful C-Notes this week, and for the really great comments on the Blog this week, as well. I have filled my first 25 on the Blog list, and have come square up against a problem! I have found more really excellent Blogs that I wish to follow. I do not wish to remove any from the first 25 to make room for them. (Yes, I do know about the other three lists I can use.) The problem is, I want to visit them all! Weekly, if not daily. I figure to take the total, divide by 5, or 6, or 7 (whichever comes out even) and break up my visits to that number each day. It will make it manageable for me, but it also means that I won't get to every Blog, every day. And, that just doesn't sit well with me. Now, this is a personal dilemma--don't go feedin' it into your own heads, okay? There are hundreds who visit this blog regularly, and I am so very grateful to know that there is someone out there that may just be finding some help along their journey, as well. Perhaps it is a brutally honest look at a particular point of the journey. Possibly, someone who had a day of great pain, or disappointment, found something to make them laugh! One of the Cardinal Rules of the blogger is that the Blog must be fed daily. Life happens every day. This is a reflection of my life. Has nothing whatsoever happened in my life today that is worthy of note? (Well, today? Yeah!) If I miss a day, am I less of a person? Less of a Blogger? Perhaps. Writing, Blogging, and Living happen whether we invite, intend,or expect them to happen. Because we have a belly button, that's just the way it turns out. One of, I believe, the largest mis-conceptions about writing has to do with what people refer to as "Writer's Block". Yes, it happens. It usually happens at the most inappropriate times, and in the most inappropriate ways. But, there's "Writer's Block", and there is a definite lack of intent, or enthusiasm, for writing. Some days, the notion of writing original words is the most unappealing thought in my brain. There! I said it. One of my favorites, "Unca Jim" over at AbsoluteWrite, has a wonderfully simplistic way of looking at his craft. But, don't be fooled by it. It's not simple. It's just worth it. One of UJ's mantras for writers is "2 hours, b.i.c.". Every day, writers write. Some days, it seems as if we cannot. Some days, it is just an absolute chore. Some days, the idea of sitting my b.i.c. (Butt In Chair) for two hours, creating new words, is nothing less than the most inhumane cruelty a human could endure. So, don't. I totally agree with UJ--with one exception. When the only result of "2 Hours, B. I. C." is calluses on yer tail, and an evil corruption in your heart, declare a holiday! Usually, about 3/4 through the day, doing anything at all except writing, my mind wonders about who has written what, where. I may really want to see if someone has had a follow-up on the idea they expressed yesterday. I may want to check out the Quiz, or read some Blogs. Because of the nature of my particular illness, I cannot go into the world to create income via a job. So, most of my daily existence is here, at the computer. As we all know,it is certainly more than possible to create income via writing. But, the life observed is not always the life lived! You, and I, must make time to live the lives we have been given, as well. Usually, I do a fair-to-middlin' job of both. Today? Well today is just not one of those days. "If it's not writing, it's research!" One inexorably leads to the other, writing and research. They really do exist "hand-in-glove", in the writer's world. And, believe it or not, they exist in the world of the patient, as well. Sometimes, the only way we can get our heads beyond the idea of being ill, is to do research on our illness. Like other Blogs, patients can find a world of information, and a world of relief, by looking into the known facts of their illness. Some may believe this to be maudlin, or fatalistic. It absolutely is NOT either. It is no more so fatalistic than a writer reading another person's words on a topic they both share interest in. (Excuse the preposition!) This entry began because I had no idea what to write about. My intent was not to write at all. I wonder how I will look at this entry, one week from now. Was it "Writer's Block", or simply a lack of intent? What do you think? In His Care, Budroe |
Over at the Trivia Challenge, we have had our first 100% winner! sandiegoabuelo  raked in 1,000 GP for the effort. I hope you will stop by his/her port, and let him/her know he/she done good. I mean, goodly. I mean, well-ish. Well, YOU KNOW what I mean...don't ya?The "Challenge" was my major focus of writing today, with a little over 30 questions added to the Quiz bank. It seems as though today was given to the 1960's and 1970's, for some reason. That's okay. I know there are enough questions available to fill the bank, and still have a fun quiz. Moving up on 150 (1/8 of the bank) is alright, I think. At least it seems to be different every time I check it out. I had to miss some questions to make sure the actual Quiz was working correctly. Then, I just couldn't stand seeing that 80%, so I had to put another 100% in there. I wouldn't sleep otherwise. If the Master doesn't know his own questions.... I had a late lunch with my Editor this afternoon. I made a Pork Roast with veggies, and she brought over her new puppy, "Willie". He's a Bischon, and he seems to act as if he has been a "Therapy" Dog before. He was rescued out of an apartment that had some 41 animals in it. He's a keeper. We worked on some stuff, and talked. It was a "safe" meeting, but we have been friends for a very long time. I hope she learned some things today that will help her decide to stick around, and see this thing through. I'm not going to get caught again with my clock out of whack. So, for today, that is enough. The question is: Can I actually fly a 747-500 from Kennedy to San Francisco? Only my Simulator knows for sure. "Flaps Up!" In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
| Today has been quiet. I have not attended to those things I should, really. I did recieve several wonderful thoughts from friends on the journey, via Valentine C-Notes. They were all deeply appreciated. Thank you. Writing has not been on my mind today, or at least it was not until I recieved a rather critical review of my work. So, lest it keep me awake tonight, I will review the work--again, and see if I can see this effort from another's pov. I am thick-skinned, but valid criticism is always worth consideration. I am 14 days consecutive on the Blog, and that is at least a good thing. I haven't made the rounds of my Blogger pals yet. I will probably do that tomorrow. It is cold here, and I had to go to my little store this evening. Brisk, it was. But, the store clerk seemed happy to have a few moments of companionship. There must be a lot of tedium, punctuated by chaos in that little store. It's not like the neighborhood grocery we used to have back home. It's very much a convenience store where, sadly, people are just not expected, encouraged, or invited to linger. I could see and even perhaps understand that in an area of business. But this store sits squarely in the middle of a residential neighborhood. It just seems out-of-phase to me. The old neighborhood store at home was a major part of the neighborhood's definition. We were considered lucky if we were within walking distance of that store. At this store, you are lucky if you get "Hello!" from the attendant. Is this a change of times? Well, in a lot of ways, it is. At this store, there is no fresh meat to be briskly cut, and wrapped in "Butcher's Paper". And, there's no candy counter. How can you call yourself a neighborhood grocery with no candy counter? But, they don't call themselves a neighborhood grocery. They are a "convenience" store. Personally, I believe that is simply so they can charge an astronomical rate for virtually anything! $3.69 for a bar of soap? Now, THAT'S convenience. (Well, look who can't tell the time!!! Crud!) See, ramblin' on about nothin' has dire consequences! Oh, well. If, in 120 years, anybody remembers this moment, it will be significant. If not.... It doesn't necessarily feel like they greet you with a loaded gun in this convenience store. But, you do feel like you have been taken advantage of, having been there. Why, in MY day.... Have a good night. I'm gonna see about some sleep. In His Care, Budroe |
| Boy, Howdy! Sometimes, it does NOT pay to be a good boy! (As IF I need a reason!) This has been a very strange day in the valley, I tell ya. It's been a good day, as I make it. But, it has been strange. I've learned a couple of things about my body that I didn't know before, for instance. I very seldom go towards my bed in anything that would even remotely approach a stressful attitude. I learned long ago that to do so could yield techni-colored, and nearly hallucinogenic dreams. Somehow, forever more to be a mystery to me, I forgot that today. I was up until the very early hours, and was looking forward to a nice rest. I had been having some pain that I seldom get. What do YOU do when you have pain--AND pain pills, hmm? Well, I did, too. Two of them. LorTab, to be precise. Not very strong, as pain meds go I admit. I haven't had so many pain pills since coming home. The primary reason, of course, is because I have not had a lot of what would be considered significant pain since coming home. For whatever reason (sitting too long at this silly screen, perhaps? Nah!), I had some last night. One pill usually works. I, however, decided to employ the oldest mistake in the book: If one is better...and boy did I pay for it! I had a very strange and, for several hours, two emerging situations develop in my mind which did not help the as yet-unknown sequence of events which would entertain me--all night long! As I said, it is strange. And, as only yours truly could possibly accomplish it, it got even stranger! Yesterday evening, I emailed to the VP group of my company some writing edits which I had completed on an up-coming project. Because my writing is under corporation copyright, the writing belongs to the Corporation. Being my usual gregarious self, I included a "Happy Note" to my VP's, wishing them well, etc. And, friends, that's when the fun began! The first clue I got was that I received a "hard bounce" from one of my VP's eMail address. In the parlance of Custer, looking for his support reinforcements at least, "This ain't good!" I tried four different addresses--nothing but mailer daemons! I don't particularly enjoy having daemons of ANY variety anywhere near this system--it tends to be, shall we say, expensive! Try as I might, focusing with total energy and enthusiasm, I could not get the eMail to get to where it needed to go. It's the focus part that comes into play. In the meantime, the rest of my eMail conflabulation seems to have gone seamlessly. I love that. Remember the drugs? Yeah, well.... Had I been in something near my right mind, I would have paid attention to MY eMail inbox, as well. But, it was the pain, you see! I couldn't help it. (And, all God's children shouted at the top of their collective voices: "He didn't even DO Nuthin'!) Amen. Yea, verlily. Lo, and many cattle. One of my VP's received the writing. In my quickly-increasing fog, I failed to notice that I had, in fact, received an eMail from him. I should have. It had the title of the work in the subject box. I failed to notice that, at first. It was because of the barely perceptible pain, I sware, y'all! My VP, my friend, ya know? Reads the work, as all good VP's in my organization do--for RRR, dontcha know...they are all getting good at it, actually. He failed to notice that it was to go to my VP/CIPO (Chief Intellectual Property Officer). This becomes rather important. The reason he failed to notice? Because, I freakin' fergot to TELL him! He likes the work. No, y'all, he likes it a whole bunch. He liked it so much, that he sent it out, in an eMail--to evidently everybody he KNOWS! (Including moi, of course!) He's marketing work via eMail, it seems. (And you thought I pimped? Ha!) Slowly, as the fog descends upon my refuse of a brain, these alarm bells just start goin' off, way back in a corner of my mind somewhere. I don't know where, exactly, but they were beginning to sound in clumps. Gangs. Herds, if you will! (Or, even if you won't!) Meanwhile, back at the Pharmacy, the drugs are noticin' (as only the best drugs possibly can, mind you) that I seem to be increasing my stress level. There are drugs in my system to watch, and control this, you see. Remember the plan is Calm. Ooooommmmmm. The drugs are, on all fronts,working. While not fully understanding the train wreck in progress, I decide to quit flyin' the simulator, and call it a day. I'm gettin' pretty good at MS Flight simulator 10.0, y'all. I'm flyin' jets! Let it bless yer hearts!  I get into bed, all comfy and cosy. I talked to Dad, and mentioned that there was something in my mind that I could not grasp, that seemed kind of important. I asked Him to bring it to me if it mattered, or help me let it go if it didn't. It took all of about four minutes. I'm calm. I'm relaxin', and feelin' grateful. I'm.... I'm in a world of trouble!! Straight up into the bed I rise. I tell y'all, Lazarus woulda been proud of me! "HE WHAT??" There's about 200 copies of this work floatin' out there in the electrons, because my friend wanted to help us all! OH, NO!! I got up, ran to the computer, turned it on...and stared like a Monkey lookin' at an ice cube. I just could NOT fathom it. It went to him with the Copyright intact. "Whew!" He sent it with the copyright intact. Double "WHEW!" I went back to bed, after a hasty eMail to my VP, gently asking him for a moment "tomorrow afternoon" sometime. We gotta have some fellowship on this! Drugs are really doin' the stuff now, and I am completely zonked. Did I take any pain meds tonight? I don't remember. Wow, I'm feelin' something! Just to be sure I can sleep alright, I pop another LorTab (3 in one hour: it's a first. I'm proud!) and shut down the system, knowing that things are going to be interesting in a while. I shake my head hopelessly at the unintentional antics of my VP. I've gotta watch that! I spent the rest of the night, until 0900 this morning, wide-eyed, lying somewhere near my bed (but, perhaps levitating one or two feet above same), considering the possibility of my survival if the entire house burst into flames! How was your day? In His Care, Budroe |
| I was gonna add this to yesterday's post, but... Lookit, y'all. Yesterday was a double-double. I got loved up on twice yesterday, too! That I know about!
Yesterday was a good day. I even got a Review done. I got stopped 'cause I was busy reading so many Reviews, and Articles about Reviews, and lookin' at some trash slingin' about people who DO Reviews...but I do NOT have "Guy" Syndrome. I can empty out the swamp, even while chasing allig.....ewe, purty. Y'all please run over and hug up on PlannerDan , would ya fer me? Dad said I could ask, so I am. He's a friend, and he needs to know it today. Okay? Thanks. Thanks, Dad. We love You, too!In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
| In the chaos of impending weather, power outages, and slippery roads, what do I do? I hunker in the bunker, and I write. Not counting this particular entry, I have created two new pieces of writing today. The first is an essay in the continuing series concerning blogging. It can be found here:
Several days, or weeks, or months ago, I threatened to begin writing sermons again. The questions I addressed in the consideration of those writings was: "Where Do You Begin?" "What do you want to say?" "How far do you want to go with this?" After time reflecting, I decided to begin at the beginning, and say what is on my heart, as far as it needs to go. I created a new folder entitled "Pull Up A Stone" (wonder where THAT came from!), and put the first little talk into it. From the training I received, and the experience I professionally have had, I kind of like the twenty-minute talk. No issue is off-limits--as the first example will prove. But, while writing them may be compulsory, reading them is always optional. This is stock "Bud" stuff, really. It just gives me an outlet, and it may give you an opportunity to come to know my (shivver) thinking process a little more clearly. I hope you will look at both of these items, and let me honestly know what you think. To find the new folder, just go here:
I will add works to both the blogging essays, and may even put the occasional note under the stone from time to time. I would be interested in your thoughts on whatever you may find there. The quiz seems to be a limited success. It is primarily a function, you see, of the question bank. Gettin' that sucker filled is gonna take some work! But, it will surely be a work of love. I hope you will play the game often, and enjoy every experience you have with it. You can find it here:
OKAY! Enough, already, with the shameless pimpin' of my port! Sorry. It's what writers do. I'm a writer, what can I say? I finally busted through the magic number of "50" Reviews this weekend. I gritted my teeth, and just refused to be denied. It was, obviously, motivational. There are many good writers here. There are also some really great reviews--but many of them leave much to be desired. I will say this again, and again, and yet one more time: It confuses the heck outa me to read a 256-character (intent, perhaps) Review that is glowing, with no fault found, to see a 4.5 or less as a rating. WHAT did you find lacking? You said you found nothing lacking in your sparse "Review", yet you withhold the courage of your convictions. WHY??? The only result I can garner from such activity as that is that this review wasn't about the work, or the writer. It most obviously was all about the reviewer. I find that, I must admit, distasteful in the very least, and disingenuous to the writer of the work. If you find no fault, then LEAVE none! If it's a great story, but not in a genre or style that you prefer, SAY so! Don't leave those who read your "review" (say, for instance, the author) wondering why they failed. You set them up for it, after all. Was that honestly your only intent? Criminy!! I'm gonna go see if I can find a review to do. I hope you will do the same! News on things medical tomorrow. Today, I am not a patient. Just for today, I am a writer. In His Care, Budroe |
| I just got off the phone, after the better part of two hours with my Step-Mom. Actually, for the record, this is (according to her, not her Birth Certificate) her 91st birthday. What, like I'm gonna argue? Hardly. One of the things I was able to, with pleasure, remember were some of the not-so-common things we share in common. It is sometimes a challenge talking with a nanogenarian about current events, or how their days go. It seems like a bit of an unfair question. I mean, "I'm 91 years old! What do you expect?" is pretty much the stopper to any conversation, if you understand. But, to give someone of those years, living alone, the opportunity to "remember"? Priceless. We visited times, places, people (Oh, did we visit people!!), and events like the scattered dots askew of a puzzle begging to be made right. It took us almost two hours to get "caught up", yet we spoke very little of things current. For us both, it was a very nice visit. She was the last person on my "list", and I chose not to tell her the entire story. Beyond the fact that we were celebrating her birthday and I didn't think it was an appropriate time, there was also the fact that we had a very pleasant time. I didn't want to mess it up. There will be another call, soon. But, I did at least advise her that I had been having some challenges. She listened well, and heard my words. She also asked me when I was going to tell her the rest of the story. Well, yeah. We have history. She knows me like a book. Once I told her I was okay, she accepted the fact that we would talk later. I told her that I love her. I do. She told me that she loves me. She does, and I know that without the first iota of doubt. All after that is gravy, folks. I'm 51. She's "91". Who's gonna surprise whom here? It's not my fault that she got a head start. And, I'm in no particular hurry to catch up. Of course, the reality that she was 40 the year I was born did not go completely unnoticed. That is the privilege, and right, of those who have "chronological superiority", after all. A gentle reminder that there is much more journey left to be taken was not nearly so unwelcome as one might at first believe. Things that aren't even among the smallest of my braincells got wrenched into review tonight. Names I couldn't remember if facing a firing squad came at first call. Places visited were once again in my mind, and hers. And, oh did we spend some "quality" time trashing every name we could lay our tongues to! (A special sport between us--just us; we don't broadcast it over the F&M. But, boy howdy if only we did!) The things we remember, together, just somehow don't belong anywhere else. Some, like memories of my Father, are in the "public" domain, of course. But, there were many moments we shared only between ourselves. Not secret, just private. How it is that two people, together, share memories and remembrances so real, that neither one of them could possibly bring into light alone is something I still do not completely understand. Whether completing the circuit, or completing the circle--it seems that only together can that complete connection happen. We spoke frankly of things regarding faith, in a very personal way. For her, the news report that a man had kidnapped, raped, and murdered his child was the genesis of a discussion about forgiveness. "Can God forgive any sin?" was a very important topic for her, it seemed. "Yes, I do." Became a major speaking point, but when we were done there was understanding. At that age, it's really not good to have "loose ends". It's not really good at any point, but... At the completion of that call, with a promise to call again soon, I checked my email. I had one! And, in it was a really cool purkley-colored Angel Bear from a new friend on the journey, SueBear . Thank you so very much for your generous kindness! I do truly appreciate it.I think I'm gonna put him in charge of my Thanks and Thanksgiving page: he looks up to the task. What do ya think? ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** One other minor nit to pick: How come, all of a sudden, I can't be signed in for four minutes without my session cookie expiring?? Huh? Anybody else having probs with that? Just wonderin' and saving--lots! In His Care, and Yours, Budroe |
| This is a special day in my life, and I would like to tell you why. Today is the 90th birth day of my Step-Mother, Lucille Yandell Ray Kieser "Lucy" Fields. She lives in my home town, alone. She is suffering from an ever-advancing case of Parkinson's Disease, along with several other maladies. One of the things I learned about her, very early on, was that she was an absolute gourmet cook. That woman could make whipped potatoes that would make Angels cry! For most of my young life, this woman took care for me. She came into a really uncomfortable situation, and worked very hard to make the best of it. She tried, for many years, to be my friend. I would not allow it. I engaged in a battle that raged for well over 8 years. To me, she was the reason my life, my family, and my existence was so sad. It took me a while to figure it out, okay? Over the ensuing years, I would like to believe that we have reached a truce, and an accomodation. I do love her, and I believes that she loves me very much. I know that, for whatever reason, she came into my life on the arm of a man who loved her very, very much. She has always had grace (especially under fire--believe it!) and poise. She has had some rough times lately. I hope she is having a celebratory weekend at home. She deserves it. Happy Birthday! In His Care, Budroe |
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