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526
526
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Peek! It's WhoMe!


So much emotion in so few words, this great contest entry was fast paced and heart breaking. Written with style and grace as only my friend Daizy May can do, a full story is told in 55 words. With anticipation, and my heart stuck in my throat, I envision the scene as it unfolds. The picture unfolds well with the clear adjectives that bring the scene to life.

I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. This is well written.

I think the emotional pull for me was living the moment with the one who makes the ultimate sacrifice. We are with them from start to finish of the action. In the end, it is the smile that speaks volumes. WELL DONE
527
527
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Peek! It's WhoMe!


Good monring Happy Spring

A contest entry for comic relief, this is a writing with limitations of greatness. How can you tell a story in 100 words, without any repeats? You have done just that with this piece. I would have liked to see a link to the contest, however those often close over time and then you have a dead link in your writing, which is not pretty.

Some great word choices have been used here to describe not only a scene, but to lay out the problem of the scene. She suffers from a disorder. One that compels her to clean. In order to clean, she has to have a mess. Her husband walks in just in time to see the disaster and realizes she is in need of immediate help. She is far worse than he first thought. She has relapsed, and a doctor visit is an immediate concern.

What a nightmare to have to clean up tomatoes. Imagine the stains they leave behind. Not a pretty sight. A great piece of writing, fitting within the constraints of the contest. Well done!
528
528
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Simply Positive!


Greetings Sharkdaddy

~*Star*~ First Impression:
As I sit here nibbling on a mozzarella whip, I am left to contemplate usernames, and where they come from. This got me to thinking back along when I first signed up and why I chose my own name.

~*Star*~ Characterization:
Much information and characteristics are revealed in this short piece. Sharkdaddy, is a grandfather, who likes to have fun. Jumping on trampolines, I picture him at play with not only his children, but now his grandchildren as well. If he isn't a young grandfather, then he is young at heart.

He is a man of many talents. Not only does he like to play games, and have fun, but he is also handy to have around the house. That is, unless, you startle him, then he is likely to fall of the ladder before getting the pictures hung on the wall *Wink*

Nimble as a cat with his quick reflexes, learned on the trampoline, Sharkdaddy is an all around great guy to have around. He is kind at heart and has a great love for family.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
I didn't notice anything to comment upon in the grammar, spelling or punctuation areas. This is well written and should be left as is, as far as I can see.

"The Treasure Chest"  [E]



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Text for sig.
529
529
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Suitheart*Text for sig.*Suitheart*
** Image ID #1736564 Unavailable **

Be natural my children. For the writer that is natural has fulfilled all the rules of art.

Congratulations on your nomination into "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" 
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Charles Dickens Fan Package!
This package includes many things, one of which is this review from the "Invalid Item" !





Puja

*Sun*
You are receiving this as part of your mystery package from very thankful . The fun part is, I am the one who gets to peruse your port looking for something fun and enticing to read. This is what I chose to begin with.

A wonderful interactive for all members, this shows a collaborative effort at creating poetry. Designed for all members to have fun, I see the joy this has created. I myself held a smile reading the entries. I can envision a smile on others faces as they type in their response to the previous line.

*Star*
Created in 2009, this on-going interactive on poetry has had some interesting entries. The writers, playing off of the previous entry, must create a poetic line in conjunction with the one before.

*Moon*
I chose to review this item because it has a great base for others to come and explore their rhyming and creative talents. The format is well lain out for others, and easy to follow. I would love to see much more participation, and hope that by doing a public review on it, that is what will happen.

*Compass*
IN & OUT
Poetic Conversation Chat Zone  (E)
Think, Talk and Live poetry!
#1521639 by Puja


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



Write on!



*Suitheart* Want to spoil your favorite author? Buy them a package to show your appreciation! *Suitheart*
"Invalid Item" 


Congratulations once again!
~WhoMe???~

530
530
Review of Earth Day  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Simply Positive!


Greetings jaya

~*Star*~ First Impression:
A wonderful poem on wishes as to what the Earth can be for all. There is great hope for inspiration to guide others to take a helping hand in fulfilling these dreams.

~*Star*~ Characterization:
The character of the poem comes from a pure heart. The wish is there for a better place. The demonstration for what has gone wrong is evident. What need now be said, is how to right those wrongs.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
This is a well written poem with merit and strength. This doesn't focus on ways to be greener, it deals with wishing for a better place. Action starts with a wish or hope for change. *Wink*

"Invalid Item" 



*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*Thank you for sharing your creative writing and artistic skills!*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
Text for sig.
531
531
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Simply Positive!


Greetings 🌕 HuntersMoon

~*Star*~ First Impression:
Each time I have read this, tears fell from my face. This is one generation, passing on to another, the importance of life, and growth through so many avenues. This is the lesson of giving back to the earth, taking care of what has been given to us, respecting that which others share, and so many other lessons in one.

~*Star*~ Characterization:
This is a character building story and poem, one of great strength and beauty. I witnessed many similar stories in first person real time this past week.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
This is a well written poem. I wouldn't consider changing a thing.

"The Treasure Chest"  [E]



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Text for sig.
532
532
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Simply Positive!


Greetings Bikerider

~*Star*~ First Impression:
A tear in my eye as this emotional love story unfolds in the rain. It is times like these that despite the cold, can be warm and fuzzy.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
~as she gave it a gentle squeeze...(missing word)

~*Star*~Overall:
Overall, this is a picture perfect scene. This could take place anywhere near where I am living, and has practical elements that bring the realism home. Something as simple as nature and her temperament can be the tension release needed to solve problems. Perhaps the problems weren't as large as once thought.

"Invalid Item" 



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533
533
Review of Monsoon  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Simply Positive!


Greetings jaya

~*Star*~ First Impression:
At the onslaught of the storm, I suspected dark and dreary with mayhem and havoc reeked upon all. I was mistaken. This is a very vibrant glance at the monsoon season and how it comes up with a flash and unleashes the much needed rain to those in dire need. This isn't destruction in the making, it is about the lifesaving resource of mother nature.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
This is very well written. The punctuation is well in order, as is the grammar and spelling. The alignment fits the poem well, although a centered format would work too.

~*Star*~Dialog:
The heavens speak as they send the rains to quench the thirst for mother nature.


"Invalid Item" 



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534
534
Review of Shudder Extract  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Simply Positive!


Greetings Jenny

~*Star*~ First Impression:
I feel upon reading this a few times, that it is a short piece of a bigger puzzle. Creating a teaser like this to enhance our curiosity and intrigue, we now want more of the story.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
~of the misty forest,i I felt somewhat...
~I stop...(stop what...running, walking, singing...more information needed)...
~feel a shudder through (two ways to go with this one...as I feel or change to feeling...)
~As it nears[,] I panic not...
~Show yourself...
~there are many places where, I, is not capitalized, as it always should be. The exception would be in poetry attempting to illustrate a low self worth or self esteem.
~shout[.] I hear...

~*Star*~Overall:
Other than the editing points, I feel this is a great lead-in to a novel or short story. This brief piece has me wandering who and what is out there and why...a great start.

"Invalid Item" 



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535
535
Review of Wendy's  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Simply Positive!


Greetings laure0215

~*Star*~ First Impression:
My first impression of this was very negative. The first few times I read it, I wanted to yell..."If you hate it so much, go find something you enjoy doing". Easier said than done. Upon much reflection and reading this a few more times, I have found it has a few redeeming qualities.

First of all, I do see some ambition in this short article. There is an ambition to learn and improve. Wanting to stand on your own two feet is part of the growing stage. This article showcases this through the determination to be independent financially.

Secondly, this article shows the intelligence it takes to analyze a situation and see not only the good, but also the bad. Taking something negative and turning it into a positive experience is a good quality to have. Recognizing what the job has to offer, and how it can help you will, is another great quality you showcase here.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
~Unfortunately[,] Wendy’s is where I...
~there very long[,] and...
~work at the front...
~comes in at once[,] and I’m the...
~shows me hoe how to be...
~people’s orders[,] and...
~like having a job[,] but it prepares...

~*Star*~Point to Ponder:
~But I also hate it...
CONJUNCTION
Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to joinsentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

~*Star*~OVERALL:
Overall this could be a great short article. I feel it needs to be broke up into at least two paragraphs. One would center around not liking the job, and why. The next one would be about how having this job can help you grow.

Be sure to re-read an item several times after you create it. Read it silently, and then again out loud. Doing this will help you correct many grammar and spelling issues. There are also grammar checkers and punctuation editors online that can help.

A three star rating is average. I give this a three and a half. This has great potential, it just needs more editing and refining. I would gladly return at a later date to readjust my review and rating, once this item is in its final stages.


"Invalid Item" 



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536
536
Review of She Smiles...  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Simply Positive!


Greetings Madison

~*Star*~ First Impression:
A wonderful poem. Showing through great imagery in description, another side to the smile that many do not stop to think about, this poem gives new vision to think upon.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
This is well written. The spelling, grammar, and punctuation all appear to be in order.

~*Star*~Points to Ponder:

ALIGNMENT
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

~*Star*~Overall:
A wonderful five star poem.

"Invalid Item" 



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537
537
Review of Perfect  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Simply Positive!


Greetings outloudgirl

~*Star*~ First Impression:
A very short tale, I found this to be a sad story on strength and perseverance. Facing the demon of cancer full on, as it eats away at the inside is a hard battle to endure. Hiding the physical wounds of this war, Cali struggles to maintain a sense of normalcy as she attempts to keep some sense of order and routine in her life. She would like things to go back as they were before, though that can't happen. Instead, she struggles through each day, knowing the end is near.

~*Star*~ Characterization:
Cali shows strength and determination in the face of the enemy. This short piece is about her character and attempt to continue on with a strong force.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
~I have a rare case a of pancreatic cancer...


~*Star*~Overall:
This was hard for me to read, review and rate, as well as select for review. When I selected this, we had already learned my mother-in-law was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. They say once diagnosed, there is about a 4 to 6 month window before the cancer wins. She is no longer suffering. Friday of last week she passed away. The funeral was yesterday. Mom was much older than the character in this story, and I imagine, she was much later in the progression of the cancer.

Cali chose to fight the cancer with treatments, mom did not. She was too far in her battle, and the cancer had already done much damage by the time it was diagnosed. With Cali's prognosis, there may be a chance she can win, though I am not educated in this area.

If this becomes a larger piece, documenting the life of Cali, I would like to hear her background leading up to this point, and then the full story through to the end. It would make for a nice story. A story of strength and determination in the site of the adversary. Sometimes you don't realize how much a single life can touch and effect so many others until they are gone. Much is the case with mom. Perhaps Cali's story will be one where her struggle with life and the way she lives her remaining days will move a whole school to change and alter their ways. Does she show other children a better way of life, in teaching them that every day is a gift and a challenge to do good and be all you can to yourself and others? I would like to know.
~*Star*~Description and Setting:

"Invalid Item" 



*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*Thank you for sharing your creative writing and artistic skills!*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
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538
538
Review of The Temple Lobby  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Simply Positive!


Greetings Abeyan

~*Star*~ First Impression:
I feel this is a short piece that can be the launch of a great novel idea. Though this would be part of the story toward the end, or even, part of the beginning of the story, this is well written and definitely has merits to be the basis for a larger piece.

I found my interest piqued and wanted to know more of the characters and their journey.

~*Star*~ Characterization:
The dog being the center of this short piece, he appears to be the one in control. Though, this could also be a female dog. Knowing danger is at hand and a task needs completed, the dog urges the journey on with utmost urgency.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
~nearing the end now[.] He could...
~ the altar, shimmering in the distance[,] and...

~*Star*~Additional Comments:
~They just had to make it that far, just to the altar.
With the above sentence, using the word, just, repetitively like this, is a redundancy that should be changed. Alter the last part of the sentence with perhaps, at least, to keep the sentence fresh for the reader.


"Invalid Item" 



*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*Thank you for sharing your creative writing and artistic skills!*Vine2**Suitheart**Vine1*
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539
539
Review of Static  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers"  [E]♥♥♥♥♥
To an amazing woman. Love, Justine.


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Intro



*Vine2*"Static" *Vine1*



Senita

*Sun*
An interesting little piece on static noise coming from a radio. To me, this is a metaphoric piece. It is more than just about the radio, it is about the self, and fixing what is broken.

*Star*
I hope you have enjoyed being featured as one of the newbies here on site to be reviewed by our group this week.

*Moon*
~problem a missing wire, A a loose thread,
no capitalization is needed on this part, unless starting a new sentence.

~ if you wil will. With
spell check should have caught this little rascal.

~I like this frequency it sounds so good.
a missing word breaks up the fluid continuity of the sentence.

*Compass*
Overall this was a nice short piece. It was easy to read and understand. I find it an average three star rating. There were a few minor errors, and nothing particularly stood out to give this the WOW factor.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
540
540
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
kiyasama designs

A beautiful piece of memory. As I look out on the red tulips that sprout up each spring, I will be reminded of a child's words, and how he first began to grasp the cycle of life. I wonder if you have planted red tulips, as a reminder of this day? If not, If only a little birdie had a way of getting a hold of this son before Mother's day....what a vision, to be presented with a plant, of red tulips, to plant out in the yard, this spring.

This is a well written memory. The grammar, spelling and punctuation are all in order. This seems to be a personal piece, shared with us all, and we are blessed for that. THANK YOU
541
541
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
kiyasama designs

Thank you for sharing this wonderful information about publicly promoting my portfolio URL. You have listed several different avenues of approach to do this, but one I didn't see was blog posting. Many members run a blog on other sites, as well as this one. I guess, however, that may fall under the heading of discussion forums or groups.

I for one am one who has had very few referrals. Using the tools you have suggested, I should be able to promote this site, and my portfolio as well.

I thank you for including this static item. It is helpful and in-depth. I didn't notice any spelling, punctuation, or grammar errors.

542
542
Review of Black Rain  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Simply Positive!


Greetings 🌕 HuntersMoon

~*Star*~ First Impression:
I have come across very few items, whether they were short stories or poems, where I could simply say WOW! This is one of those poems. I now live in the Northwest. I have been here before, but it seems much different, climate wise, than it did when I was younger. Now, blink, and it will rain, or shower, or pour. To me, this is a very descriptive poem of the weather I see, almost, on a daily basis now. To where I had once heard stories of the rain and how it can have the effect on people that this poem portrays, I now know firsthand the misery it can bring. I have seen it, show itself to others, and it has also tried to touch my shoulder as well, but I moved away. *Wink*

~*Star*~ Characterization:
The rain is brought to life, not only with the image above, but the poetic tapestry woven below, as well. Both, seem to bring to life the rain, and give it personification.

~*Star*~Any editing comments:
This is a very well written poem. The details below it. describing the form used and the rhythm and rhyme that should be apparent, illustrate for those of us unfamiliar with poetic forms other than basic free-style or rhyme. This fact, along with the grammar, spelling and punctuation all appearing in order, leave nothing for me to comment upon in the editing department.

~*Star*~Dialog:
The dialog involved is the noise the rain makes on the glass. It mutes the world, giving it a dull lifeless gray, that seems to enshroud all life.


"Invalid Item" 



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543
543
Review of God breathed.  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers"  [E]♥♥♥♥♥
To an amazing woman. Love, Justine.


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Intro






God, save the Jester.

*Sun*
A creative idea and vision on the creation of life as we know it, this picturesque poem gives new views on the evolution of life; a metaphoric vision.

*Star*
~Since punctuation is used, I would suggest capitalizing the first word of the third line.

*Moon*
Point to Ponder:
ALIGNMENT
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. I would suggest centering this short poem. Though keep in mind, this is just my opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

*Compass*
Overall well written and an interesting view.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


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544
544
Review of Dark Halloween  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers"  [E]♥♥♥♥♥
A signature for Jenny, love Riot.


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Intro






TheMadWarlock

*Sun*
A flash fiction piece that is every parents worst nightmare, this short story tells of the demise of Arthur Hill and why it is best he isn't around the children any more.

*Star*
~Arthur sat on a large, cold rock[.] His trembling hand...
~and as his only solace[.] They were...
~him a monster[.] They...
~called him a psycho[,] and they...
~but deep down[,] Arthur knew...
~The mob didn't care[.] This was the...

*Moon*
Points to Ponder:
~towards~ represents directional movement or action of time. In speech many people like to take the action words and give them an added syllable "s" to help propel them forward. Already being a word of action, this effort is unnecessary and leads to creating a slang term. This terminology then transfers into our writing. Now, if the piece of writing already contains slang terminology throughout the piece, then this would be acceptable, if not, then I would alter the word to the proper form, as I suggest with this instance. This also happens with forward, afterward, inward, downward, backward, outward, and beside, to name a few. The exception to this is that the British do add the "s" and in so doing are correct for their proper language.

*Compass*
A well executed short story other than the few editing points notated. I enjoyed reading the way this unfolded. A very creative use of the prompt.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


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545
545
Review of The Happiness  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers"  [E]♥♥♥♥♥
To an amazing woman. Love, Justine.


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Intro






Deacon Vaughan

*Sun*
I found this a fun and humorous poem. It made me smile during a time that crying was more suited. Any piece that can evoke emotions strong like this, deserves five stars.

*Star*
Several things I liked about this poem. Using the free-style format accompanied by a rhyming tone gave this a unique voice. The rhyming had no set rhythm, but went with the free-style motion of laughter and farce to provoke emotion.

*Moon*
One suggestion only, and that would be to eliminate the first use of andin the last line.

*Compass*
Overall a great poem.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
546
546
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers"  [E]♥♥♥♥♥
To an amazing woman. Love, Justine.


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Intro






Blackbutterfly

*Sun*
This is a very lovely poem. I thought the message came through quite clearly. Each verse flows down the page in a free-style form like a waterfall with a mist and rainbow below; beautiful and dreamy.

*Star*
I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. This is well written with great description and image building.

*Moon*
ALIGNMENT
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
547
547
Review of Sweet Dreams  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers"  [E]♥♥♥♥♥
A signature for Jenny, with love from Riot.


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Intro






Kable

*Sun*
A wonderful rhyming poem of love and caring emotions. This sweet piece rhymes with ease down the page with an alternate rhyme.

*Star*
PUNCTUATION
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

*Moon*
One suggestion I have would be to tighten up each verse. The added space in between each line is distracting. Space between each verse helps to set each verse apart, however, that is not necessary with each line in a verse.

*Compass*
Overall a fine poem, with just a few minor adjustments needed (in my personal opinion only). A sweet emotional piece on adjustment and change, with questions for a second chance.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


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Review of I MISS MY GRANDPA  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers"  [E]♥♥♥♥♥
To an amazing woman. Love, Justine.


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Intro






Scribble

*Sun*
A personal poem for that special person in life who has helped to nurture you and see you grow. This is a poem to Grandpa showcasing your love and how much he is missed.

*Star*
Having departed during the holidays, each year the reminder is there for the family. This can make things difficult for some, and others this will be a happy time where grandpa can be remembered with a smile and perhaps a tear.

*Moon*
This poem is well written. The formatting, grammar, spelling and punctuation all appear to be in order.




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


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549
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Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
For WhoMe. Love, Riot.

My dearest Sophy ,

This is a very eye opening article, which delivers great advice and insight. Living with a similar diagnosis, I have learned as you have, that our views and how we act and react are what define us. A very commendable writing. I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. I send a hug, a warm cup of *Coffeet* and a smile your way. Thank you for sharing your experience, and your very optimistic outlook on life .
550
550
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
For WhoMe. Love, Riot.

A fantastic writing piece, I had a smile on my face the whole time I read this. Giving great direction and information, all cleverly disguised within a short story of humor and wit. I had a great time reading this. I really liked the approach you took with this. I hope you keep the links updated as the site changes over the years.

This is a neat item to direct newcomers to for referencing. Well written, I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors to comment upon. This is a writing I would refer others to.
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