(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)
Intro
A Simply Positive review. This review, the suggestions and views, are my personal opinions. My wish is for the review to be helpful and positive. Please take what you can or wish from the review, and disregard the rest. |
kiwi-warz ![](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/costumicons/ps-icon-regular-10.gif)
![Sun *Sun*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/sun.png)
I think you did a good job with this free-style poem. The message comes through clearly. One thing that bothered me personally was the lack of punctuation throughout the poem. There was punctuation at the end of each verse, but I felt it was also needed in other lines as well to direct the reader, at least a comma or two.
Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.
For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.
![Star *Star*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/star.png)
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.
![Moon *Moon*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/moon.png)
My favorite line:
There is bliss in virtue, but it tends to smolder.
Of course, the punctuation was my addition, but this is how I read it.
![Compass *Compass*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/compass.png)
Overall a good poem. The emotions it evoked were strong and passionate.
"Luck Of The Irish Auction " [E]
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
![Steaming Mug [#1642111]
lonewolfmcq](https://www.Writing.Com/main/trans.gif) ![Steaming Mug [#1642111]
lonewolfmcq lonewolfmcq](https://www.writing.com/main/images/action/display/ver/1265147351/item_id/1642111.gif) |
|