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Dear Jeff ,
I will be reviewing "The Aftermath" for you today. I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading this poem. Remember, I am but the reader, the poem is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.
![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerb *Flowerb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerb.png) How did I come across your piece?![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerb *Flowerb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerb.png) ![Vine1 *Vine1*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine1.png)
I am reading this now, because I can't sleep. That is the simple truth of it. After a long day of yardwork, and spending time with Curt, I find myself unable to sleep. Of course, these aren't my usual sleep hours, so that may play a part in it. I came across this piece in searching for something I had not read or rated in your port. You having won two reviews from me in my auction, are probably expecting a review or two by now. So here is one...
![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerv *Flowerv*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerv.png) Thoughts and expectations from the title:![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerv *Flowerv*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerv.png) ![Vine1 *Vine1*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine1.png)
Before reading the subtext, my initial reaction to this is that there is definitely a battle which took place. Then with further reading this becomes a given. I anticipated something much different. I expected a story of weary hunters relaying their tale of how they finally conquered their enemy, or how the vampires once again found a brief interlude before the next hunters were sent out after them. In place of this, I found a tale of much more depth and sincerity with great emotion and strength. This is a tale of life, and how even the dead can feel.
![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerb *Flowerb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerb.png) How do I feel about the main protagonist?![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerb *Flowerb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerb.png) ![Vine1 *Vine1*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine1.png)
Kara had isolated and protected herself for so long, that once she did let her guard down, she lost herself in the feelings and emotions that over swept her. Her strength in yearning for that contact, or bond, finally is what in the end became her worst enemy. She let her guard down to once again live, and it became the death of her soul forever.
![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerv *Flowerv*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerv.png) What impact do the secondary characters have?![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerv *Flowerv*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerv.png) ![Vine1 *Vine1*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine1.png)
I feel David was an integral part of the story. Not only is he the love interest, but he is what breaths life into death. His outlook on life and the relationship they shared are what gave Kara the visions she had once lost. Her feelings and emotions were once more restored to her.
![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerb *Flowerb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerb.png) How do I feel about the pace and flow?![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerb *Flowerb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerb.png) ![Vine1 *Vine1*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine1.png)
This short story is well told. The sequencing is right on time with great pace. Everything is revealed as it should be. I didn't have any problems with following along. I could see the easy transition from what just happen, to the retelling of how it happened and why.
![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerv *Flowerv*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerv.png) Thoughts on any conflict and / or resolution:![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerv *Flowerv*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerv.png) ![Vine1 *Vine1*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine1.png)
Though question is given to the hunters finding her, it is an afterthought, for David and his demise is forefront and foremost in her mind. Perhaps a parting shot about it not mattering now that David is gone. Life without him is not worth living. Though, in the end, this is what the story says.
![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerb *Flowerb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerb.png) Thoughts on the ending:![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerb *Flowerb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerb.png) ![Vine1 *Vine1*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine1.png)
A great way to show the ending, instead of telling. I feel that the way the end comes about, shows the true bond and the life the two had together. The emotions she found, the life she lived while with him, all came down to nothing without him.
![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerv *Flowerv*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerv.png) Thoughts on emotion and imagery:![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerv *Flowerv*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerv.png) ![Vine1 *Vine1*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine1.png)
The emotional depth of the story is well placed and forecast. It is easy to see by the conclusion the depths of emotions running through the story.
![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerb *Flowerb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerb.png) Outstanding questions or issues:![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerb *Flowerb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerb.png) ![Vine1 *Vine1*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine1.png)
Irrelevant, since this is so well written, nothing came up, other than...WOW, WHAT A GREAT STORY!
![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerv *Flowerv*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerv.png) Are there any technical issues I want to query?![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Flowerb *Flowerb*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/flowerb.png) ![Vine1 *Vine1*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine1.png)
The use of but to start sentences is a downer with me, and here are a few of my standard thoughts on the subject...
CONJUNCTION
Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to joinsentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.
![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Suitheart *Suitheart*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/suitheart.png) My overall thoughts:![Vine2 *Vine2*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine2.png) ![Suitheart *Suitheart*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/suitheart.png) ![Vine1 *Vine1*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/e21/vine1.png)
Overall this is very well written. I loved the story and even read it two more times, simply for fun. Why would I read such a tragic tale three times? Why for the dramatic appeal that is why. The depth of emotions are very well illustrated in action and that is hard to find in many writings.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" . |
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