This is heartbreaking romantic!! You really are one at heart. I honestly don't know how you out such feeling into what you write, but whoop you are good.
Full five Sherri, not a mistake and you captured love in all it's glory not an easy feat!
Wow you really thought about this self addressed almost soul searching letter for the contest it's for. I wish you all the luck possible!
straight forward, not over done, honest, realistic, heartfelt, you put a lot into this Sherri. It shows.
I give you a five for baring a little of yourself, that takes bravery, and I really see no errors.
I hadn't realized you were writing new novels, I did know you have previuos novels. You go girl! Also that your a smoker and have been ill, gee that's sad Sherri, and I agree with that decision, I wish you all the luck, your strong!!
Thanks for sharing some hope you have for the new year and inspiring some hopes of our own.
This to me is a thinker poem. It raised a lot of questions, and left me almost wanting more. Kinds reminds me of someone looking for the right path to take so to speak. Being led by the heart, and all the xperinces and where it leads is often a questioning road. You captured that essence well.
I really have no suggestions, and see no errors. I can see this having a "dark" mood to it, but that's me. I could twist this around..Bwhahaha.
Thanks for sharing, and I delighted to be reading.
Gee, I like this, very very well done for a pi form piece of poetry and you bring great emontional to this piece. You alse leave enough to the reader's imagine to be surprised at the ending. I like poem's like this thise, drawn the reader's in with curiosity and them provide a good read with a "whack" at the finish.
I give you full points 'cause I honestly see nothing wrong with this poem and it;s quality is superb. Gee, you are good. Thanks for sharing Kiya.
This to me is a straight to the point, sttraight from the heart, well written poem, about how some men treat woman, and if the roles were reversed, Would they like what they saw and hear? I enjoyed this.
Likes and/or Suggestions.
Humm, I honestly see no errors Kiya, and I liked how to slowly learn to reader to you true intent, to shine some "light" on how we are often treated by our conterparts, and would you like the same treatment? You ask this in a very subtle yet honest way. You expressed alot in a tactful and emotional way. Well done.
I part that stood out for me, is:
(c:blue}Would I be ungrateful if I stumbled home from work and ordered you to make me dinner, put my feet up on the couch, and didn't want to be bothered? I have seen this behavior alot over the years from various men. This truely hits home as the saying goes.
Gee Kiya, this was nice, and I enjoyed it for being out of my reading preferneces, lol, where's the darkness? "giggles"((Hugs)) Sweetie.
Gee Sherri Oh I adore this, full five my friend and now I'll share with you why.
I honestly see no errors and the flow and feeling you give this is amazing. The reader feels this poem and relates it too their own loves and experiences behind the bedroom door.
The way you gave the bee such character to a man is wow. I could honestly "picture" a guy in all his manly glory and "needs" and the way they go about satisfing themselves in all the subtleness they process.
This is great they way you are able to incorprate the flower and the bee into a lusty, hearfelt relationship. One's mind can truely "wonder" with this creative, descriptive poem.
You wrote: Giving and taking coming easily…drink freely my bee!
This is a great ending, My thoughts were not ASR rated. Thanks Sherri, this is good. Keep them coming!
((hugs)) Staine.
** Image ID #1173050 Unavailable **
Sweetie, This is your ninth review for the Hummingbird Auction that you kindly hope make a success. Thanks!
This is defiantly straight to the point. I pictured a relationship based on lies and realizing the deceit, end the relationship.
I see no mechanical errors Sherri although I did find the poem a little off. It didn't flow very well, it almost seemed "forced" That's just my oponion, no offense is intended. I like the choice in color and the final line, Or live a nightmarish existence Nice.
Warm Regards,staine..
This is your eighth review for the Hummingbird Auction, my dear friend. Thanks for sharing.
Impressions
Gee, this is great with the picture of the "dead corpse" I imagined seeking out another to become one with in death. Rotting, stench the follows, the delight in being undead, but also the lonelness endured.
I honestly see no errors, nice editing.
Likes
This line partically struck me it all it dark glory. Dark and musty,
stale with decay, this is the life I am living each day. Nice, descrbing death as being alive.
You use some opposites in this poem, and presented it well. Thanks for sharing!!
Wow Sherri, such feeling. This is terribly tragic and so often terribly true. A young child being kidnapped and abused. The feelings experienced would be overwhelmimg.
Final Thought
You bring such feeling to this poem that I was visabilty moved, gee so sad. You have no errors, and presented it it well. Thanks.
Warm Regards, staine.
This is your seventh review for the hummingbird's Auction.
"POEMS OF ABUSE" A small collection of emotions that often shouldn't surface, wonderful.
Impression
This deserves it's rating for it brings to light often what is hidden in the shadows. You offer support and awareness in this folder and that takes strength.
You have this small folder organized, with no errors that I could see. This is a great addition to all the other folders out there because I feel abuse if often ingored and not spoke of, the then the circle begins. Perhaps the light will shine and the circle broken for abuse should never happen.
Thanks for creating this Sherri.
((hugs))staine,
This is your sixth review for the Hummingbird's Auction, sweetie.
"HE CALLED ME FRIEND" This is very good Sherri in leaving the reader to their own thoughts. You can see so much in this poem and as always you feelings portrayed run clear.
I see no errors, you are a great editor. I enjoyed the poem in it's abilty to get the reader asking questions.
"Gee why friend?" an affair?
"Perhaps not intended?"
"What would she have been thinking at that moment to hear her lover at death say friend. Hate? pity? sadness?loneliness? I could on and on. So many things are glimpsed in this poem, well done.
This my friend is your fifth review for the Hummingbird's auction. Thanks for sharing with me.
Wow Sherri, again you are able to intrique the reader. This is soo festive and colorful not only in it's presentation but in the "mood" this parody kindles. It's xmas for sure. I think you did a wonderful job, and edited it well. Full five, this is darling.
This is your fourth review for the Hummingbird;s Auction, my friend. Thanks again for sharing.
This is again a very touching poem about the love for your mother and how your coping, enduring,love, loss, and memoories are felt and expressed so clearly in this well written poem.
Suggestion and/or errors.
You edited it great and I see no errors Sherri but I do have a suggestion. Perhaps considering stnaza would make the poem easier to read and add a little to it.
Thanks for sharing my friend. I adore you port, such variety!
This is very straight forward and wriiten in the eyes of night if it was a person. Different I will admit.
Spelling/Grammar.
Honestly Sherri, I see no errors.
Suggestions.
I'm not sure if there was restrictions in length for the contest but to me the poem seemed a little off. I really can't place it either. This seemed to lack the emotions and depth you other writings have, and I miss those qualities than you so positively express.
Final Thought(s)/Feeling(s).
I enjoyed this poem in its unusualness, Thanks for sharing my friend.
Wow. You are able to drawn the reader in with interest and then wrap them up in a emotional poem about a love in your live. A wonderful person too from what you poem expressed, ahh love the wonders.
Suggestions and/or errors.
I feel you express your feelings very well in this poem and your use of mechanics gave this poem the quailty in the dept of what you feel in all it;s warm and fuzzy glow. I see no major errors, you edited well. Nice! Although perhaps this line Your words touch my very soul. in context with the following stanze seems awkward to me. You countinue the following stanza with I hear your voice and when read in it's whole intent it seemed to be to be like to were repeating the feeling, it kinda threw the poem off. The rest of it is great with unigue feelings and portrays from stanza to stanza. The feelings of melting when he holds you, awww you passion, the fire he lights up inside you. Very romantic.
Final Thoughts.
This is a classic heart melter poem for all the romantics and even those who dream of love here on wdc. You expressed your feelings and dreams in clear and strong images. Nice.
This is your first review for "Invalid Item" that you so deeply deserve.
Full Five and now to why,
The emotions in the poem are expressed without wallls. You share your sadness and confusion about you dear mother's passing, my heart goes out to you, with all the feelings clearly felt and shared. It was very strong and heartfelt for you to share such tragic a moment and feelings with everyone and to pout yourself out on a limb might I say deserves full marks, for one cannot make a mistake in their feelings and how they express them.
There are no grammer errors that I can see and you presented this piece well with the choice of pink and the large print. It brought me a few tears and deeply saddening. I wish you all the best, and again thanks for sharing.
I am delighted you like this sig, when I saw it I so thought of you. It seemed to suit so, cause you seem to me to be a easy going, lets have fun kinda person. I am delighted that you actually put it in your port. . This really made my day.
I am proud of Kiya images, she does such quality, and always adds the little touch needed to make them own own. ((hugs)) Ann.
This is adorable!! The red and the darling smile apon the darling cute snowman. It honestly warmed my heart, it's that sweet looking. Kelly is awesome in her images and this is proof among many. I look forward to when the holidays are here from this darling sig.
This is nice, Dragonblue always put such unique borders around her images, which in turn gives them the wonderful charm and character her sigs and banners are known for.
Very kind of her to gift you with one, and a very unique image.
This is very vivid in all the images you describe with the rain and the thoughts of the person you love and miss. A both sad and warming poem to me, 'cause you are able to express feelings of sadness, loneliness, and happiness and affection. A true to the heart type poem where one bares all their feelings and desires about another.
Suggestion(s) and/or Error(s).
Humm, I found the ending a liitle off compared to the rest of the piece. There's some times where it's unclear if hse dreaming of rain or it actually is. You description is intense until the ending.
I see no grammerical errors, nice editing.
Final Thoughts.
You are able to express a lot in your detail and perception of the rain. Watching the rain brought lots of memories to the person of the poem, some happy and some sad. I enjoyed it, thanks you for sharing.
Impressions. Hello again. Good work on this poem also. I loved the mood and the heartfelt thought put into this poem. It's clear it came from the heart. The love for a friend is strong and that really brings the reader in. Good work with the imagery also. "heart of gold" is nice as is "Raven's heart bleeds".
Suggestions and/or Errors. I found no errors as far as grammar and spelling but I did find the flow was a bit off in this. For example you start off line one with a certain rhythm and then that changes in the second line. I feel the second line is a bit too long and throws the reader off a bit. Maybe try to cut out a word or two in there.
And then the fourth line, "I’m honored to know that she’s my friend" seems a bit too short and throws the rhythm off a bit also. Maybe try and extend it a bit.
As far as the flow for the rest, I feel it is pretty well done. It's pretty well just the first stanza that is a bit off. However I do feel there is a comma needed here: Raven’s song will live on long after me after "on".
Final Thought(s)I thought this poem was pretty well done. The last line is great and impacts the reader a great deal. Just the first stanza might need bit of fixing as far as the flow. Other than that, great work.
Impressions.
I thought this piece was very well done. My favorite thing about it was the flow. Those words, " Dare I Trust You?" and how you repeated them at the last line of each stanza really makes an impact on the reader and gives the poem a great flow. I loved the first line Why do I feel like a pawn in some sort of game,. Thought you started it off very well and the last line and how well it melded together with the rest of the poem was really great.
Suggestions and/or Errors.
I saw no errors in this poem. Great work with the grammar and spelling.
Final Thought(s)
Great work! You drew me in to the poem and the insecurities of the person within this poem were showed strongly. The continuation of questions and the consistant rhyming pattern played a great role in this. Well done!
Thanks for sharing.
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Also that your a smoker and have been ill, gee that's sad Sherri, and I agree with that decision, I wish you all the luck, your strong!!
Check it out!!
