Hello Ryan, how are you? I have just read your poem, " Sweetly Haunted," and thought I would leave some comments.
First of all, I really like the title , how nice to be sweetly haunted.
Lovely poem, written for one you so obviously love.
My only suggestion is the last verse: this line does not make sense, "
"I want you to have you as my own," unless you put a comma between you and to, so it reads:
"I want you, to have you as my own."
Also this line: "No competition for I'm am only yours," should be either, "I'm," or, "am."
Hello Someone Awesome and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your review, "Imagine Dragons book Review," and thought I would leave some comments.
I must say Imagine Dragons are one of my favourite bands and my favourite song has to be Demons. You are right the lead singer gives it such emotion. A great song and a great band.
Hello Billiegail and a belated welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your poem, "First Day At School," and thought I would leave some comments.
This is great and so typical. We worry they will have an awful time and miss us only to discover they were perfectly fine and probably did not give us a second thought.
Hello John, how are you? I have just read your short article, " The Pictures Above The TV," and thought I would leave some comments.
Although I do not keep pictures above a Tv as I do not have one, I know what you mean. However, it is nice to look back sometimes and remember times gone by, as long as we do not get morbid over it, because as you say, joy is always there.
Hello luna-citlali and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your poem, "My Soul," and thought i would leave some comments.
I am not sure if the first line, "Hope Chest," is meant to be the Title?
I think perhaps we all have some kind of memories tucked away in a hope chest somewhere. But I always say, "never look back, we are not going that way."
Hello D. B. Mauldin, welocme to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your item, "Short Bio," and thought I would leave some comments.
Did you know, you can write this as your Portfolio Header? That way people will be able to read about you when they visit your port. Also you will save space on your port for any writing you wish to post.
Hello hardwire, how are you? I do not remember if I have reviewed you before, but if not, welcome to WDC.
I have just read your short story, "The Sleep Project," and thought I would leave some comments
The story tells of someone who obviously is evil. But it does not say what is happening. Just that he seems to be collecting people to join him. I think a little more detail is needed to pull the reader in.
Also in the first line, "stail ciggirettes," should read, "stale cigarettes."
Hello nickkcin, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your poem, " Things I Think, Have And Want," and thought I would leave some comments.
I see your logic in this, waiting for the storm. However, it is very difficult to read properly as you have a lot of punctuation/capital letter errors.
For Example: "hope is just a blanket. i hope that i am wrong
moneys what i want. i wish i needed none," these lines should read, " Hope is Just a blanket, I hope that I am wrong. Money's what I want, I wish I needed none."
Hello Rhonda and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your poem, "Soft And Gentle, " and thought I would leave some comments.
I do not know why, but while reading the poem it made me think of the smell of fresh washing. That, I believe, is a good thing, it shows the poem is very refreshing and we certainly need , "Soft And Gentle," in our World today.
I think adults would like this as much as childen.
Hello svufandom, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "I Love You mommy And I'm Sorry," And thought I would leave some comments.
Your poem tells of an abusive childhood and wondering why the one person who should show you love, does not. Your poem also expresses guilt, as if the child believed she had been naughty and therefore deserved to be poorly treated. but of course, it is never the childs fault, it could never be.
There are few grammer/spelling mistakes, for instance in this line: "do you don't love me anymore?"
It should read something like, "Do you not love me anymore?"
Also the use of text slang, such as "plz," does not look good.
Hello Chels, how are you? I have just read your poem, " What I Really Am," and thought I would leave some comments.
I thought this a really good expressive poem. the first step to feeling better, I think, is to put it down on paper. I think most writers find this a lot easier than talking about how they feel. The more you write it out, the better you will feel.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.54 seconds at 1:03pm on Jun 26, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
