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Review Requests: ON
236 Public Reviews Given
237 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My review style is informal and encouraging of writer's development.
Favorite Genres
I enjoy Realistic Fiction, Thrillers and love a good plot twist.
Least Favorite Genres
R rated
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Essays, Scripts, Letters
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 -4- 5 6 7 ... Next
76
76
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi MJones ,
I found your uplifting poem through the 'Read a Newbie' link.

It was the title that caught my attention at first because I'd just been deciding between threaded or unthreaded views for the forums. However your poem is not about that sort of thread!

*Hook* Opening paragraph
Immediately I discovered that this was an uplifting and hopeful piece, with a very pleasant proposition of a link that unites us all.

You have a pleasant rhyming pattern that is very pleasant to read, with each lyrical crescendo gifting a sense of satisfaction. A mentally content 'ahh'.

*HeartBl* What I liked best
In a storytelling manner, you added in a complication in the final set of verses, but then provided us with the answer, which was simply stated and clear.

just turn to your soul
and that beautiful gift

I enjoyed the way you presented the remedy/advice. It is a nice find; it rounded out the poem as a whole, providing it with a sincere depth.

*Hammer* Recommendations
None. I simply loved the charm of your poem, and I look forward to seeing more of your work here. Best wishes for an enjoyable time here at WDC. P.S. There is a "The Newbie Poetry Award"  competition running that you might like to enter.



Thank you for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you!


*Cat2*
77
77
for entry "Stand firm" 
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Sumojo

I was fortunate to post after you in the "I Write in 2024"  challenge, so I got to read this new item with the intent to review it.

To be honest, I did not think the topic/title was very interesting. The content, however, was swiftly absorbing.

I discovered through your honest sharing that we are much alike. I, too, am one of those empathy-ridden souls that sways to individuals POV's. I, too, have a son who was a delight to raise.

So I was deeply concerned (belatedly) on your behalf when you revealed his slip into drug use. And then, your response. Which I can appreciate as right, while I know deep in my heart it must have ripped you apart to do so. It was even more amazing when you had to double down and send him out of state. At that point, I was also struck by the great quantity of respect your son held for you, in that he did what you requested, although he was not taking the easy route by leaving. It felt like a clue that his good heart remained, and in time... well, there was still hope for him, wasn't there?

I just loved this story. It brought tears to my eyes, tears of hope (no pun intended). This is a beautiful story about a mother's love expressed in a non-cliche way. And the perfect length and restraint of content, you left me wanting more.

Mostly, I am so happy that he came through.

Congratulations my dear
78
78
Review of Monsters  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Wanda Jane

*Hook* Hook: Your title/descriptor
I wanted to read and review something hot off the press, and I found your poem in the Read a Newbie section. It attracted me because a therapist once told/accused of disassociation. I did not understand what they meant at the time... and O I opened your offering wondering if I'd gain insight.

*HeartBl* I liked:
I enjoyed your message and the questioning, searching tone of your poem, indicative of the inner search in trying to work out what, if anything, is really wrong. I enjoyed the final line, especially where you used humour to lighten the mood with a satisfyingly unresolved finale.

There are rarely any certain answers are there.

I liked that you explored the subject with your various prompt-like thoughts while leaving it open still to others (your readers) personal speculations.

*Music2**Music1*Poetic form:
It took me a couple of reads of your first lines to work out the rhyming pattern you used, with each line broken into two rhymes, which I'd not come across before. TBH, I'd have preferred a separate line for each rhymed section, as the unusualness of its pattern was distracting.


*Check* Overall
Your poem added something to my own understanding, last but not least, I need to add that I find it very difficult to believe that anyone could think of you "I am a brute", for your poem radiates a gentle, inquiring, mirthful nature.

Thankyou for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you!


*Cat2*
79
79
Review of Never Forever  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi StellaAmbrose

I found your poem through the Read&Review button.

It is a sad poem about a person who is in a love limbo, perhaps a rut, not knowing how to escape a relationship as they draw the conclusion that it's reached an end.

It is especially sad for the timing as we approach Valentines Day, with its artificial focus on relationship bliss, and thus we wonder if that is yet another anchor holding them back from leaving.

Your poem makes me send wishes for strength to the worn and weary, unappreciated hearts.

Thankyou for sharing this touching set of freeform verse.

*Butterfly2W*
80
80
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi 54.elias ,

There is nothing I enjoy more than to read a play; the shelves of my library are scattered with them. But I did not expect to find one when I was looking for a newbie work to read today. You can imagine my delight!

*Hook* Opening paragraph
Well for me, I was hooked as soon as I saw it was a play. For others, I think it would be the way that your primary character began straight into the good stuff, announcing what he wanted from the day! Straight away we knew there would be childlike wonder involved.

*People* Characters
I appreciated the dramatis personae, I needed to reference it nearly straight away to find out why Timmy was surprised that Rosie could talk.

You used the characters' conversation well to establish their personalities, while I also appreciated the director's input in brackets to their tones. It was easy to cast your characters onto a stage.

*HeartBl* What I liked best

Rosie: (squeaky voice) Did someone say magical?
Timmy: Rosie, you can talk?

I loved your irony of the magic happening that his pet rabbit could talk being ignored, as they quested to visit the magical garden.

*Hammer* Recommendations
I found it a bit distracting and harder to read because the text had been centred, which is not the usual for a play.

*Check* Overall
Loved Loved Loved this. I am going to double-click the plus sign near your handle, which will make it easier for me to follow your work! Wishing you great times here at WDC


P.S, I have a trinket for you!


*Cat2*
81
81
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi KingsSideCastle

I'm reviewing your "Castle's Chessboard"  entry as part of the "I Write in 2024"  challenge.

I enjoyed the conversational tone you kicked off with, where you began by providing us with an explanation of the challenge and why it appeals to you. Great background information.

The music clip provided was a little bit 'nervous-making'. Rap is a style of music I don't usually listen to, so I was worried for a moment that I'd not be able to relate to your writing about it! However, you quickly put my fears to rest as you launched into a fun story about watching a magician reveal his secrets.

The tale flowed nicely and with that same companionable feel of your introduction so that I felt like I was getting to know you as I read.

The second part of your entry shifts the focus back to the music itself. But by now, I was prepared to give the rap a second chance. In fact, I listened to it again, and I come to agree that the chorus is pretty darn catchy, especially when I imagine you astronaut in the swimming pool (swimming pool was where my mind went, with a heap of teenagers in skimpy bikinis dancing round the poolside, lol)

Good golly, I think I'm even going to add it to my own playlist. Thank you for sharing, and exposing me to this!

Best luck with the rest of the music challenge *Music2*

Hope
82
82
Review of Greasy  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow W.D.Wilcox

I was searching for art-related work here at WDC when my eye was caught by the fabulous image you used for this piece. I loved the painting, and HAD to read the story that accompanied it.

I enjoyed the opening description of the painting (while I must admit that initially, I empathised with the artwork rather than the cancer patient).

Quickly enough I discovered this to be an incredibly powerful story. Killing of a puppy, wow, and yet it meant so much more than the murder of an innocent; the cancer patient was holding immense repressed anger for the injustice of their situation. I was struck deeply. (And moved for the patient this time.)

You also achieve a rather EAPoe feel, with the creeping painting being like the beating heart (my favourite story by his genius.)

Intense and evocative writing.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
83
83
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kathleen Cochran
I felt like reading a 'newbie', and then found your item with its beautiful picture. I especially enjoy it when a writer has gone to that extra trouble to find an image that resonates with their work. The image is like an 'aperitif' before plunging into reading of 'the main course' of your writing.

*Hook* Opening paragraph
A punchy short sentence that sets the scene for your tale quickly while also poetic. I appreciated that, while I paused to read it twice (that second time with a cheerleading Huzzah!)

*People* Characters
Your tale is an introduction to the character of yourself, and is very relatable. While you set up a challenge for yourself, by bringing time into our minds, to then reveal how you managed to fill those 676 weeks with literary ambitions in mind.

The title itself hints at some irony, which you then go on to reveal in greater detail.

Your style is warm, your mood inviting, and there is a sense of friendship offered.

*HeartBl* What I liked best
I loved the quote you shared:
Don Dilillo said, "A writer takes earnest measures to secure his solitude and then finds endless ways to squander it."

It made me smile to read that, understanding how it fitted into your story, while with a wry empathy for I have likewise squandered.


*Butterfly2W* A well wish
I am so pleased that you found your way here to the WDC community, where you are bound to enjoy many a distracting and inspiring writing prompt. May you enjoy your time with us and propel into the greater successes you have your eyes set upon!


Meanwhile, I have a collectable trinket for you:

84
84
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi
I am reviewing your entry as part of the 'I write in 2024" challenge.

I enjoyed reading about your experiences with stockings and smiled at the recollection of carrying nail polish to stop a run. I remember doing just the same thing myself - though, alas, with red nail polish. Oh dear!

Your tale moves on to practical compression stockings next, which I don't have experience of, so I found your tale interesting from an informative angle.

Beautiful honesty in your piece. I enjoyed it very much.

Write on!
Hope
85
85
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi 🪽intuey🕊️
I am reviewing your item in conjunction with the "I Write in 2024"  challenge.

You chose a philosophical topic to enter, a very broad topic, actually, ambitious!

*HeartBl* I enjoyed
I had a little giggle in your opening when you spoke of your upbringing with reflection on brothers and sisters. "Nor older siblings making them do things or beating them up."

*Hook* Opening paragraph
Your opening paragraph provides a conversational tone, setting a mood and tone that makes the reader feel like they are sitting quietly. It is a pleasant mood, and one that you carry on right through your work.

*People* Characters
In this piece, you are the primary character, and so we come to learn about your nature through the experiences that you describe and your outlook and views upon those things.

*Hammer* Recommendations
I would have liked to get even closer to you with some specific memories, for instance, that first one you hinted at of siblings manipulating you. A couple of anecdotes would have been enjoyable to read.


Overall, I enjoyed getting to know you through your considered sharings in relation to this prompt, and feel that this was a very relatable piece of writing. Well done.




86
86
Review of Aerobics  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sumojo


*HeartBl* What I liked best
"The sound of jangling keys brought Jan back to the present."

*Hook* Opening paragraph
When your character gets her diary from under a thin mattress, I'd thought that something was up. But her self-loathing had caught my heart, and I was so keen to find out more... absolutely forgetting the hint we'd read. (clever you) I just wanted to know more about her, and was 100% interested in the tale you then revealed.

*People* Characters
This is an endearing character, and you reveal her tale beautifully. It is easy to empathise. OMG every gym has a gorgeous 'Pablo'!

*Hammer* Recommendations
None, this is topnotch story weaving!

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
87
87
Review of Anxiety  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Kallie

*HeartBl* What I liked best
I like this style of a letter poem, sincere, with a great pace and rhyming pattern, and a message that I think everyone can relate to.

*Hammer* Recommendations
There is just that second line with two sets of rhymes in it, that my matchy-matchy mind wanted cut to be one or the other. It breaks the pattern. But tough choice, cause both thoughts are valid; which would you edit? I wonder if they can somehow be combined.

Fantastic poem,
Thanks for sharing!
*Butterfly2W*
Hope

Collect a trinket!
88
88
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kanishka
I found your article through the Read&Review button! I don't know anything about flash math, but I did some framing for a mathematician Roy Kerr (that was me name-dropping), and I thought him a fine fellow with a rather dry sense of humour. So I wondered if you might be a bit like him.

So I read!

*HeartBl* My favourite
Favourite sentences were: "I took a year off to try and complete these three subjects. And that's when the real fun began."

I loved imaging how you, at liberty, discovered what was exciting about your topics. Though Math doesn't do it for me, I completely understand how once the pressure is off, you can see more clearly.

*Hook* Opening paragraph
Your opening paragraph engaged me, speaking of cold and ruthless logic like it is something out of a horror film, an oddly endearing horror film. The personality you attribute to Math is relatable.

*People* Characters
The primary character in this piece is yourself, with a journey of discovery, with Mother gaining an honourable mention as having set you on that path.

There is a symbiosis between math and yourself, however, so I can't really say which of you are the true star of this show.

*Hammer* Recommendations
Not really a recommendation, but an inquiring mind wonders what 'your passion' was, which you barely mentioned in the third paragraph.


I loved reading this, and your closing comments le me share your joy of passing on your love of math with the next generation.

Thank you!
*Butterfly2W*
Hope

Would you like a trinket?
89
89
Review of GAIN OR LOSS?  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Dr M C Gupta
I enjoyed this poem with its many questions, they are questions that we consider more frequently with increasing age.

The final stanza provides an answer, though it struck me as a little odd to recommend no desire, overall the philosophy fits well if I imagine the lack of desire to be lack of selfishness.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
90
90
Review of Legacy or Dash  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi G. B. Williams

I had a hankering, so hunted for a non-fiction piece, and yours is at the top of the list.

*HeartBl* What I liked best
I was immediately intrigued by your use of the sunrise as a lesson for life.

I came to understand that 'The Dash represents 'impatience'
I was confused as to what you meant by Legacy in this work. I believe it to mean what is left behind after you have died, but I don't think that is how you intended the word.

*Hammer* Recommendations
I recommend removing the exclamation marks, as they add a frenzied feeling, to an otherwise quietly thoughtful piece.

I hope you continue developing this thought-work, the topic is very worthy.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope

and for you, a trinket
91
91
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi again Kevster
The Read&Review tool showed me another of your scenes!

*HeartBl* }I loved:
This is a fun bit of imagination, I had a broad smile on my face as I read. I liked the way you managed to capture a lot of their personality in the very few words you had them speak.

*Hammer*I recomend:
On the second read, I thought the phrase 'In a twist of fate' seemed a touch out of place; it might more be 'In a plot twist', but I'm not sure. It isn't really fate-related it is.

Kee Writing!
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
92
92
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Kevster
Your celebration evening piece arrived before my eyes, thanks to the Read&Review button. I see the word Kiwi in your name, are you an NZ person too? Haere Mai!

*HeartBl* What I liked best
The tone of this work feels relaxed and enjoyable, in an echo of the evening itself.

*Hook* Opening paragraph
You immediately revealed what the item was about, setting the mood, it was like an invitation to join the scene you unfolded.

*People* Characters
We don't get to 'see' individuals or details of anyone who was present, not even yourself. So while you alluded to many, I did not come to feel attached to any of the players in this warm scene.

*Hammer* Recommendations
I think that term "van life community" could do with apostrophes around it, or capitalisation, as it feels like a term used rather than just words that are part of the sentence.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope

& a trinket for you,
93
93
Review of I am not scared  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Simply Me
I found this prompt story through the Read&Review button. :)

It is a fantastical tale, with just enough information to work out that a strange size issue and growing sort of problem is going on.

I think there is a typo that needs looking at here: Then I saw her Majestic, the grandest tree I'd ever seen.. I think you need a comma to define that the tree's name is Majestic: "Then I saw her, Majestic, the grandest tree I'd ever seen.

It appears this short story is midway in a much bigger story, so can hardly be rated as a standalone work. Though you did indeed fulfil your prompt!

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
94
94
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dan I Am
I saw your short story reviewed and popped along to read it also :)

I was charmed by your nickname for Hemmingway, and your indulgences with his furniture. The location observations made enjoyable reading while we waited patiently with your for the answer to the very good question.

Enjoyable.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
95
95
Review of Oakridge  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi WriterRick
I found your story through the Read&Review button.

*HeartBl* What I liked best
You have a solid plotline and a satisfying conclusion.

*Hook* Opening paragraph
Your opening paragraph needs a bit of colour and some detail about this man that hints that he's got a mission on his mind. Perhaps this would be a good spot to mention his personal battles that you allude to later as echoing those he finds in Oakridge?

*People* Characters
I had a lot of unanswered questions about your protagonist, my biggest one being: how did he know about the missing girl? He was not just a travelling vagrant, as you described him as in at one point. I'd like to know more about why he knew there was a mystery to be solved in this town. How did Tommy know to ask him for help?

*Hammer* Recommendations
I'd love to feel a bit closer to the action in this tale, with more elaboration, description and dialogue in the various highlighted scenes. Get me closer to the action, please! For instance, the town bar, a place that seemed to pulse with the undercurrents of Oakridge’s darker side. What did he see to give him that impression? And then, how did he then blend in to overhear conversations? He's a stranger, and has been standing out as one before this.
and "He subdued Carlson, finally putting an end to the criminal network that had ensnared Oakridge." Which puts an awful lot of story into one sentence, but is told rather than shown with the thrilling details.

p.s. I think it's just a typo, but it goes from chapter 6 to chapter 9 (as if chapters 7&8 are missing/)


You have got everything here in this story, and I hope you will grow it further with the development of your scenes, fleshing out the action and getting the reader close enough to hear him pant!

Keep writing!
(also, collect a trinket if you wish)
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
96
96
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi TheactualTreasure

This is a wonderful poem reminding us of the importance of simplicity and getting rid of the mental and physical clutter. Through your words, the hero of the poem 'Simplicity' becomes a yearned-after treasure, and all that I wished for by the end.

*HeartBl* What I liked best

I especially liked how you mixed it up for the last stanza, giving it a proper air of 'finale'. And the uplifting message, a possibility that is available to us all.

Beautifully done
*Butterfly2W*
Hope

For you, a Trinket!
97
97
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Massive Friendly Derg

My eyes slid past your entry 'A Haiku Joke' in the "The Humorous Poetry Contest"  just as I was closing the pane. You gave my poor old brain a double take as I realized what I'd read... whaaa no surely?

Navigating my way back, there actually was a Haiku in a joke category. Like how is that even possible?

Yup.

You aced it.

Have a trinket, you comic legend
98
98
Review of Introvert  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Words Whirling 'Round
I arrived in your Portfolio today, wanting to find something recent, and your well-arranged folder system there helped me find this Introvert poem.

It is a very relatable piece of writing, I quickly found myself empathizing with your point of view, which is poetically well expressed, while very aware of the tragedy of it also.

You show restraint in your writing technique, which I enjoyed, not doing all the work for your readers but giving enough details for them to reach the desired conclusions. I especially liked your last stanza, although that is also the saddest.

Meanwhile, I trust there is artistic embellishment in the work, which I suspect could not be written about without simmering hope being deeply present and even already quietly realised.

And for you: a trinket!
99
99
Review of Have a Nice Day  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Anni Pon
Read&Review showed me this piece today, and I'm so glad it did.

*HeartBl* What I liked best

I liked how you opened with the shop assistant greeting, and led my mind through a journey.

All the while I was wondering what was going to happen? You had that ominous plot spoiler there 'Based on a true story', so I held a mental breath wondering what drama was going to befall us!

Your ending was brilliant. I laughed out loud. It was a laughter that felt inclusive because I've been short-changed before too. Perhaps everyone has.

This is beautifully written, with great repetition (soothing even, like the clickety-clack of train tracks) and with humor that I was delighted to discover.

Look, I have a freshly made trinket for you!
*Butterfly2W*
Hope



100
100
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi CathrinStuart

I found your poem through the Read&Review button, and seeing you are new here, I wanted to also send you a Welcome!

*HeartBl* What I liked best:
The image you used appealed to me, and the description 'Afrikaans - The ransom of a nations values.' is very intriguing

*Hammer* Recommendations:
I would love to see you supply the translation for your poem, to expand your audience. (I used Google translate, and see you have some powerful thoughts expressed.)

Meanwhile, below please find a collectable trinket for you!

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
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