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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hopes/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7
Review Requests: ON
236 Public Reviews Given
237 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My review style is informal and encouraging of writer's development.
Favorite Genres
I enjoy Realistic Fiction, Thrillers and love a good plot twist.
Least Favorite Genres
R rated
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Essays, Scripts, Letters
Public Reviews
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151
151
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your tale here is utterly delightful.

Your first sentence, thrusting the reader into a story that feels like it's already been going some while, wakens the mind into a lets-work-this-out mode. While I still wonder if perhaps this is a sequel to The Caucus Race? It is hardly required reading to discover this 'unlikely friendship' to be enjoyable.

The revelation of a first person narrator viewpoint was interesting came as a surprise. I don't usually like reading I's and Me's, but how you have written this reads enchantingly. Cleverly done.

Further, the moral, gently revealed, is one that we could all do with accepting. Who had expected this bridge troll was going to be a philosopher. Life coach even!

So you already know that there shall be no grammar nor spelling tips coming from me *Wink*. But rather, I did pause to imagine how writing an accent must have driven your spellchecker wild *BigSmile*

Start to finish I loved this tale.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
152
152
Review of Oh Joyful Day  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Carol
I adore your poem, and with the quantity of content you manage to get in while keeping your poetic form. Truly impressive.

I would love to see this illustrated into a children's book, it seems worthy to become a cornerstone in a little being's upbringing. I would have loved to have read it to my son every night, though alas I'm 20+ years too late. (Perhaps one day I'll have grandkids?)

I have just two critiques.

One: the word Pasch meant nothing to me. I blanked on it at first read, then looked it up the second time though. Haha! It was a bonus amusement, that Pete and his mom are Jewish bunnies at that. Ho ho, oh I just loved that too!

The second critique is: why didn't you get first prize in the comp?

Seriously though, if you are not an artist yourself I hope you have found an artist to illustrate this ready for publication. It needs to be on bedside tables, in kindergarten bags, under a blanket tent with a torch... and other equally important places.


*Butterfly2W*
Hope
153
153
Review of Monster  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi 5
This is an interesting piece, about a monster that seems to be very sincere in it's self condemnation. This little guy becomes relatable for this fact.

While it's tale begins with talk of a previously social existence, even if faked, the reader slowly witnesses it's decision to retreat.

And sadly there is no happy ending! But is the tale truly done?

I'd love to see what this poor miserable creature goes onto do in his sequel, I hope that he/she will discover redemption!

154
154
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi Noza

As a bit of a health nut myself I read your article with interest, what new things might you reveal about water?

The article is primarily a gathering of information. Research is great, but I would suggest that it is a good practice to provide links for readers to further examine your source information.

I would have enjoyed more of your own personal comments and thoughts on the topic - and perhaps if you had personal experiences to share.

Best wishes
Hope
155
155
Review of GRATEFUL HEART  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.5)
Goodmorning Naomi

After your review of my piece I suspected that our inner metronomes, the cadence in which we read or write, might be compatible? So hastened to your portfolio to click upon a random page.

Happily I discover that your poetry is pleasant to my mind, each line the right length. Further your rhymes do not feel forced, but each continues growth of the tale you which to tell. The only thing I would change would be to add an s to encourage. ie 'Encourages great happiness'

Overall this is beautiful, thankyou.

p.s. Your poem reminds me of something I read a few months ago; that gratitude can provide relief for chronic pain.
156
156
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi
May I also ask for someone to check if my application to join went thru ok? I don't seem to be a member of the group to receive emails yet, and if there are daily emails I'm sure I will need all input I can get!

Excited and nervously yours
Hope

P.s. Sending a donation *Heart* and would like to give my free badges to the pool also
157
157
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was so happy to read of your long lasting marriage, despite not doing something grand for your anniversary this year. Following your profile I came to stalk who your enduring sweet heart was? Perchance another member of WDC? So was further delighted with this tale above and your Humble Poet poem.

I don't know about iambic pentameter, nor how many verses is right or wrong. I measure a poem solely on how it flows with my mind's voice and how it settles in my heart. On this, my uncalibrated yard stick, I found your midnight inspired verse to meet the mark. And would thank you for thanking Bren with it so sweetly.

Happy Anniversary weekend to you both

Hope
158
158
Review of Under This Tree  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi BMF
I love your poem so very much, it speaks to the heart and mind also. I enjoy how there are deep thoughts expressed simply, inviting one to linger upon each thought. Each sentace flows, is not laboured.

It is beautiful.

*HeartP*

Hope
159
159
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Henry
I saw your request for feedback, and so here is my thoughts on your short story.

I liked the topic, archery is something I once tried when I was about 11. (A loooong time ago!). So I appreciated the stubbornness of your hero, trying over and over again.

I'd have liked to read more of what he actually did, what techniques he tried, adjustments he made. It's an interesting topic after all!

I did get confused a little as his locations, that aren't actually described changed. Such as how he 'walked back' after lunch, when I'd thought he was still at the range. Expanding into some description of his surroundings would provide greater backdrop for your dialogue (which was fun to read).

You've made me want to have another go at archery again, I remember the string being so hard to pull. I think I only tried half a dozen times... no blue nor yellow for me, 100% grass green.

160
160
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi K
Your short story moved my mind with interest this way then that, which I very much enjoyed, on a swift wonderance to what was really going on here?
The possibility of fairies, even if some optical illusion, was enticing!

You brought a warm smile to my face with the revelation that the little miss was fibbing... and yet with admiration too. The treasure of the story is the little girls adlibbing-creativity.

I felt a mental hiccup with the use of the words tiredly and precariously, which while explanatory didn't flow as softly. But that might just be me.

Otherwise I loved this snippet of homelife, and the sweet feeling it gifted.
161
161
Review of The Sunglasses  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi KimE

I liked your plug in the story link, you made me curious to see how your story 'spoke for itself'.

The discription of your lady was a little halting, but interesting, and as you mentioned it's yet to be refined.

I was just getting into learning more about the strange sports loving lady, when a dramatic turn, the accident, was writ! You caught me by surprise. And then poignant sadness. And I suddenly realised why her description, the mess of her hair etc, was as it was.

Well done. I think your outline very worth future finessing/refinement.




Hope
First-time reviewer
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