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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hopes/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: ON
236 Public Reviews Given
237 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My review style is informal and encouraging of writer's development.
Favorite Genres
I enjoy Realistic Fiction, Thrillers and love a good plot twist.
Least Favorite Genres
R rated
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Essays, Scripts, Letters
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of Fibonacci Spring  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oooo, a Fibonacci poem. *eyes brighten*

Oh, and so beautiful. And apt when we consider that the era of Fibonacci science institutions was called things like 'The Royal Society of London for Improving Natural Knowledge', filled with very godly men. That your sequence becomes a homage to The Creator of wonders like the nautilus shell, makes the most perfect sense.

Did I mention that I have some Fibonacci callipers? I've not used them much, but I love them., for the incredible wonder of it all.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
52
52
Review of FERNTALON  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi spotfur
Congratulations upon a substantial beginning here at Writing.Com!

Your story is well imagined and written, all warm and cuddly really. Made me smile numerous times. And the inside joke of Mouse as your nickname! lol

I do recommend adding double-line spaces between paragraphs. That just helps the readers to take a pause and digest what they just read before reading the next paragraph. The visual of your writing looks more interesting too, rather than a 'wall of text', as some people call it.

Another tip, that might help you get the most readers, is increasing the text size to 3.5 or even 4. It's just kinder on eyes looking at the screen when the text is bigger than the default.

I look forward to future pieces from you!

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
53
53
Review of Endings  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Stella

Your poem here is quiet and sad, a funeral scene, with the laying to rest of a loved one.

There was just one bit that I did not understand
tears ricochet
I was unable to imagine that.

You have created a reflective mood with your poem.
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
54
54
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Nikola Semanrus

This is an amusing little play in a few snatched scenes.

I would have loved you to format it a bit easier to read however.

If you google formatting for Playwriting, you shall find the accepted methods they now use. eg. tab x6 for stage directions. Here at WDC you can use the {indent} formatting tag to help.

Double line space between speakers is our friend for readability for wider appreciation *Heart*

eg:

                                                           NARRATOR:
“After exchanging some pitiless remarks, our group of teens enter the shack-” (the Narrator continues speaking but is difficult to hear over Lee) “and see some truly life changing things.”

                                                           LEE:
“What is that voice?! I’ve heard it three times now! It’s like it’s narrating and I don't think it likes us very much.”

                                                           JACKSON:
“Three times? Why didn’t you say anything the second time?”


Heck, rereading that little bit there again has me giggling to myself. I love this comedy piece you have shared!

I hope you have more to come.
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
55
55
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Tim Chiu

This is a very interesting offering, a non traditional take on Halloween. Your brief sentences relay big thoughts. I had to dictionary the meanings of a couple of your words there to help me to understand how they could be used in such a context!

Your poem is a fine example of how poetry can succinctly address depths that other forms of writing weaken by their excess of language.

Well done
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
56
56
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Naomi

I was happy to discover this self-reflection of positive abilities. We are too prone to taking ourselves for granted, and so it is a fine thing to see you have taken a moment to review, and to appreciate what you bring to the world.

A fine exercise!

*Butterfly2W*
Hope


57
57
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Writing_Fanatic

You have a fine lyrical style here; the rhyming pattern of your poem is kept at a regular pace, so it is very satisfying to read. No mental screeches.

The last two lines finished less strong, although you kept your pattern still. It felt a bit tidied off, rather than jamming the point home. A very serious topic.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

Warm wishes
Hope
58
58
Review of Magic  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Wanda Jane

I enjoyed this poem about magic and it's appearance in your life since you were little. You take us on a journey through time in it.

There was just one thing in it that made me confused, the use of the French term 'the little death', but then I wonder if you are perhaps not aware of the innuendo? I wonder if it might not have been intentional.

I enjoyed the journey's resolution, and that the youthful appreciation of magic shall be yours again!

Write On!
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
59
59
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Princess Megan Rose 22 Years
A fantastical story in a poem format. You move the tale at a lively pace. I enjoyed the part where the Pewter snow leopard was upon a round the world adventure to get back to his mistress.

My favourite part, perhaps because it was unexpected, was this:
Don't blame me. I was inspired by a commercial.

You made me laugh! It was unexpected for the writer to appear in the fantastical poem.

Write On!
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
60
60
Review of Escape  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Haha! And I was imagining an evil orphanage, or workhouse that the escapee was fleeing for his life from.

I loved the description of the chase. And that short shift in POV as the black cat for a moment too was an interesting artifice to reveal his location. But my favourite the part when he was hiding amongst the dried stalks - I was with him, holding my breath too.

With almost no dialoge you placed the reader close to the action with clear visuals.

A fab 'punchline' caught me by surprise.

Another great contribution Mr Jeff

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
61
61
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jeff masquerading as Deadpool

Well, this one was a real bonus as far as random draws from the Read&Review button goes. Smiles on every line and laughed snorts for punctuation marks. Its a fine wit you have Mr Jeff, and you are using it well.

Here's the deal. It takes seven days to create a world. Everybody knows that.

I only hope that Doug received a cc of this glowing recommendation to his abilities. Get that man a pie! (A local expression of great approval)

I was pleased that you took the time to do the calculator work, too; I dare say that was the laborious part of this article. I must admit that it seems like a real bargain (assuming, of course, that that sum includes Doug's commission.)

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!

Thank you for your creative focus in putting this together and keeping it here long enough that I got to read /enjoy it.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
62
62
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dr M C Gupta
Oh goodness, what a sad poem.
The line "My heart has over time too old become." resonated with me. A slow realization of an atrophy to that all-important muscle.

While your final lines are a redeeming hope in spirituality, the impact overall is one of sadness, and evokes empathy. You have expressed your emotions very well.

Thank you for sharing
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
63
63
Review of Nurse not there  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Billy

I found your tale through the Read&Review button.

Wow, that is a strange happening indeed, the strangest part must be that someone who was not a nurse asked you if you needed to go to the bathroom?!

But then again, perhaps you were on some powerful painkillers and the entire happening was a hallucination. We might never know.

A great little story, and recounted in a swift and brief manner, no waffle!

There are two edits I'd like to point out
1/ It looks like a spellchecker meddled your first line, for it says 'hospitalities' instead of 'hospitalized'.
2/ Starting a new line after the comma in that first line was not necessary.

A couple of tweaks will help your story's enjoyability. Editing and refining is a big part of the process for improvement here, and is one of the reasons why the reviews are so very helpful. A fresh pair of eyes spot things that we might overlook.

You are off to a great start, I look forward to seeing more of your stories here in the days and weeks to come

Write on!
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
64
64
Review of The Coffee Wars  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Evan Hall ,

I found your story through the Read&Review button, and as a bonus I saw you are a recent arrival. Interested in what I'd discover, I dived in.

*Hook* Opening paragraph
The tape was running low, but neither of us were too upset about it.

That is a great opening sentence; I was immediately curious to find out what was going on.

You then described the Christmas present-wrapping scene, which was a cheery and playful scene with just too many presents around that tinsel tree.

*People* Characters
The other characters are introduced in warm tones from your Fatherly perspective, adding to the lovely family scene you have created. The cheek character of the girls is revealed swiftly through there conversation.

But still, I was surprised when you (the father) had a spidey-instincts moment about the cup.

Onward I read... with mounting suspicions, and then the fun of the wife being the victim of the drink!

*HeartBl* What I liked best
"The Christmas spirits danced in the room with the twinkling, warm yellow lights."

That is a beautiful sentence!

*Hammer* Recommendations
I want to reveal that as soon as the cat was out of the bag or the coffee was revealed to be tampered with, I felt ready for the wind-up of the story. The continuing conversation about it at that point felt unnecessary, and I think that part could be abridged to get to your tale's conclusion.

*Check* Overall
This was an enjoyable read, and I hope it was entirely based on truth; what a blessed life to live.

Thankyou for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you!



*Cat2*
65
65
Review of Do Not Despair  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon
Your rondeau came to me through the Read&Review button. I'd not heard of this poetry form before, tricky - but it reads so flowingly as though it was second nature to you. Well done.

*HeartBl*
I especially liked the repetition of the 'Do not despair' motif, well spaced to introduce, next to remind, then as a finalé.

The poem as a whole has a lovely nature-loving spirit that I really enjoyed. Beautiful.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
66
66
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi spoedniek ,
I found your piece in the Read a Newbie forum. The interesting title caught my eye, and your nick also. It is a play on Sputnick? It seemed like it to me, at least, and it amused me.

*Hook*
I liked how you started out strong with two strikingly bold statements.

Then your mention of Boltzmann; I read on imaging him to be some genius, but you didn't reveal much more about him. So after reading your piece, I googled him. (Would be handing if you added in a footnote perhaps?)

*HeartBl*
You have many thoughts/opinions, but without any context for the reader to understand and empathise with, which made it feel confusing.

You seem to be aware of the shortfall of revealed circumstances, for in that last paragraph, you speak of the omissions of tangible world-written details. Ironically done, as you beautifully describe tangible world details! lol, Yet the details are like a separate painting and do not relate to the rest of the work.

It reads rather surreal, like a drug-induced and shifting intensification of focus, like that Exit sign that was much discussed in a random way.

When I reached the end of your writing I felt like I had missed the point of your work somehow. For a moment, it seemed to be about Boltzmann, but in the end, it seemed to be more about yourself, the author, who was a student (I presume having intensively studied Boltzmann).

I enjoyed what you created, but it seemed more like poetry than a story (Possibly a couple of different poems eve)n. It's your section about the Exit sign that is haunting me with its oddly enticing and understandable macabre.

Thankyou for sharing your work

*Cat2*
67
67
Review of Ocean Fling  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi MJones
What a delightfully playful poem, and I love that you made a graphic that suits it so perfectly. Or perhaps the image was part of the prompt? However it came about, they paired very prettily and became a satisfying 'whole'

Thank you for your inspiration and the enjoyable sentiments you shared!

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
68
68
Review of It’s time  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sumojo
I thought to find a bedtime story, and your White Rabbit snippet arrived thru the Read and Review button.

Absolutely perfect, as I am getting all excited to do the Wonderland activity in March.

*Heart*

Yours is a fun twist on the White Rabbit's clock watching. Those border closures were rough! I remember watching news on Aussie and it seemed just as bad as our NZ lockdowns. It wasn't just the white rabbit counting off the hours, we were all needing a diverting rabbit hole to dive into! Isn't it odd how it now seems forever so. Time did a strange thing, indeed.

I enjoyed you snappy fun little scene, and then the prime minister with the key at last.

Huzzah!
69
69
Review of Pools of uranium!  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi vapid
Thanks for sending me a review request; it was a pleasant surprise. A rewritten radioactive poem, eh? It sounds like a sci-fi...

*Hook* Opening lines
It took me a moment to grasp the poetic arrangement/structure of the poem. Once I understood the pattern. (I am new enough to poetry that I didn't immediately recognise the style) With a grasp of the style, I re-read the opening verses again and enjoyed the arrangement. You began short and suggestive words, then expand upon them in the following two lines to an intensified revelation.

It feels powerful.

It is very cool. And feels like it is written about an already established world and situation, or perhaps a forbode. While it seems to be science fiction, it is very sound and believable. I enjoyed learning about the ruined world you are here revealing.

*HeartBl* What I liked best

Many great verses, but I think my favourite, and where you really had me rapt, was this:

Few extra eyes
Siamese second face developing
Cotard's delusions are more regular, doesn't make it less unsettling

I loved how you worked the reader's intellect there, supplying information for visual and emotional understanding.

*Hammer* Recommendations
Hmm.... well, I can admit that you left me wanting more of this story. And that rhyming pattern is really quite addictive. Yes, I recommend this poetic story more, but the ending does not yet feel like a conclusion.

*Check* Overall
I love what you have created here. Thankyou for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you!



*Cat2*
70
70
Review of Dust My Book  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi jayesandz ,

I found your poem in the Read a Newbie listings; it was your description of the dark coming into the light that caught my interest. Im glad it did, for it is just brilliant!

*Hook* Opening line
You established the poem's POV immediately, and I settled in for the read, curious as to what was in store.

I liked your admissions; these are things that resonate with me of my young life, too, possibly everyone, really. Those things are remembered when you think, 'I was so dumb'. Wishing for a makeover, but onwards, we live in the snowballing repercussions of reckless life choices.

*HeartBl* What I liked best
I found it hard to choose my favourite part, but finally opted on this:

"Give it a good read, maybe you'll understand.
You shouldn't have judged me, beforehand."

Which is a very good message for everyone, and well illustrated within your poem
,
*Hammer* Recommendations
I wondered if the punctuation of full stops was necessary; it read a little bit abrupt at the end of those sentences, and quite often, poems ditch full stops (I think for that reason). But I'm no expert.

*Check* Overall
I enjoyed your poem a great deal, now excuse me as I go to read it yet again.

Thankyou for sharing your work,
I have a trinket for you!


*Cat2*
71
71
Review of No Home to leave  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Oh my goodness Ghost_of_Paper

This is a deeply moving expression, truly drawing me in to a world that is valiantly brave while deeply suffering.

Your use of repetition, in a poetic sort realised denial, which then breaks as it becomes too much to carry on with.

Breaks my heart also.

This is so tenderly written, and I dread to think it is experience based. May you find solace and understanding thru your writing, and the escape you seek.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope

72
72
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Troyizen
I saw you reviewing, and it peaked my interest to see what your own style was. Looks like you are very busy! I selected a poem, as a short 'appetiser'.

*Hook* Opening paragraph
I think the hook is surely the title, where you set the readers expectations of something possibly tragic, possibly heart-wrenching.

When I reached the end, I felt amused, I don't know if that was your intention.

It was still a very dark poem, my humour was tickled that it wasn't a Bambi style piece. I liked that it was so brutally plain in fact. It was the contrast to cliche that I appreciated.

*People* Characters
You might say that the character in your poem is the driver, who's perspective we are privy to. I cleaned that he was impatient to get where he was going, slightly irritated at the journey. I definately picked up a vibe.


*HeartBl* What I liked best
I really enjoyed the pace you set, snappy and fast, demanding swift deductions from the reader to what was going on.

I also really liked the yellow and green description. That was a strong visual. In fact the entire poem was excellent from a visuals POV.

*Check* Overall
Loved this punchy well rhymed and fast paced poem.

I'm encouraged to delve into some of your longer pieces now!


Thankyou for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you!



*Cat2*
73
73
Review of A Noble Man  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Noor
I found your noble poem through the Read and Review button in the sidebar.

I enjoyed the flow of the question then answers within your verses. You raise admirable virtues as composing a nobleman, in contrast to the social class it's commonly associated with.

I was a little distracted by the punctuation, the two dots did not mean anything particularly. Three might have been your intention? (As a 'to be continued ' thought). Or perhaps the formatting glitched in the site? I think it's acceptable to have no punctuation at all in poetry, which might be the simplest solution.

I enjoyed your message here, it warmed my heart.

Hope
74
74
Review of Can I Watch?  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Paul ,
I found your introductory story through the Read&Review bottom. It's great!

*Hook* Opening
Your hook is surely the unique news of the setting, where I suddenly found myself in a workshop for cutting stones.

I loved how the conversation immediately provided mental prompts, that created an expanded scene in my imagination. It activated my mind.


*People* Characters
You used conversation only to reveal the characters in your scene, they grow at a steady and interestibg pace, with some flirtation too. Their mutual attraction really came through.

*HeartBl* What I liked best
I was most interested in the practical revelations about the secret world of a gem cutter. Super interesting!

*Check* Overall
I loved this!


Thankyou for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you:



*Cat2*
75
75
Review by H❀pe
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Spidey

Wow, this poem comes from a unique perspective that I'd not considered before, with the one left living begging death to unite love once more. Yet it does not read as macabre.

Skillfully written, and with a conflictingly sad/happy conclusion.

Well done!
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